Starting to regret my BC....(pic heavy)

[Netta1]

Your hair is cute and you look great!

When I Bced I regreted it in the beginning too...but you get over it trust me!

My hair was dry too and worlds of curls became my friend.

Stay positive...

 

[BostonMaria]

girl you look pretty with your pics. The only thing I see different from the first BC day and the most recent is that your hair shrinked, which happens alot. I think you just need to give it time to grow out, and find what works for you. Don't regret it in a few months you will see what you are looking for as you adjust to your new hair. remember most of us spent years getting used to our relaxed head, turning back the time we also need to spend a good amount of time getting used to and loving our natural hair.

Hang in there

That's what I was thinking. I've been natural almost 2 years and I'm STILL trying to figure my hair out.

OP, since you are still trying to figure out which products work for you its going to be trial and error till then. If you ever look at my BC pictures (in my Fotki) and then look at my hair just 30 days later its like day and night. The only thing I did differently was stop trying to do the same things I did when I was relaxed.

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

i think your hair is cute. its probably gonna take a while to find a solid regimen for your relaxed hair so try not to stress over it. and i do think tx has hard water. last summer when i was there my hair felt totally different than when i was in ms.​

 

[bellecheveux]

When I bc'ed my hair was SUPER dry. I still had some relaxed ends on my head and when I snipped them off and start co-washing daily with Suave TC & Aussie Moist, my hair felt much better.

Make sure you snip off any remaining relaxed ends you might have, your hair will feel completely different.

 

[Platinum]

Your hair is cute and you look great!

When I Bced I regreted it in the beginning too...but you get over it trust me!

My hair was dry too and worlds of curls became my friend.

Stay positive...

ITA! I love Worlds of Curls moisturizer!

 

[kriolagirl]

hey OP...i feel your pain. when i first bc'd my hair was soo dry i was wondering if i had made some huge mistake. here are the few things that single handedly turned my hair around:

1. DC'ing 2x a week, w/ heat and adding coconut oil to the condish
2. Monthly hard protein treatments (aphogee)
3. Steam treatment
4. CANTU SHEA BUTTER LEAVE-IN!!!!! (this turned my hair from a sad, dry brillo pad to soft moisturized hair)

it does get better. hang in there!

 

[*fabulosity*]

What they said.. cones, sulfates, parabens... get rid of em....
Get some cheap au naturale stuff and see how it reacts... I got a ton of moisturizers.. PM me and I can send you some..

Happy growing!

 

[Geminigirl]

For the dry hair: You may have scab hair or need to do more DCing

For the curl definition: Again the scab hair. Were you using heat to style a lot when relaxed, it may have killed your curl pattern. ORRR you just may not have a curl pattern

Not really. And when I did use heat I used a heat protectant and not high heat. I started blow drying alot when I got to TX but again I used a heat protectant and by this time my hair already had no curl def in the front or back. Although I will say yesterday I saw some curls in the front. not really curls but waves so maybe they are soon to come.

Houston does have hard water. Here's a hard water map:

http://www.pure-water.com/quality/hard.shtml

Therefore, you probably need a chelating shampoo (I hear Joico makes a great one) or something to help clarify.

Also, what is your exact routine? Do you know if you have porosity issues? My hair has taken a great turn for the better since I started doing acv rinses after deep conditioning. If you prepoo, use a chelating shampoo followed by a super moisturizing DC, an acv rinse and then use a regular conditioner as a leave-in before sealing, and then your KCCC, that may help. KCCC is supposed to not work well with oils, but I haven't had that experience. Good luck!

Thanks for the map. I had seen it before but not sure where. I am sure I have hard water but will check out the map anyways just to be sure. I am still trying to get my routine down. BUT when I was wearing the braids in the front I would spritz my hair with water and then some Scurl and then gel it up. i would occasionally put oil on it but not everyday. I only braided my hair up twice and they lasted less than three days. that's pretty much it. I co wash and moisturize. I am going to be looking into this chelating poo and taking some of the routines in this post and incorporating it into my regimene. I don't know if I have porsity issues.

Even if you don't have hard water, you may want to invest in a shower filter. A sprite brand filter is cheap and easily installed without equipment. You can get one at Lowes for $20 and works with your existing shower head. The filter only needs to be changed every 6 months.

Since your BC is still pretty recent your hair is not quite as curly, probably, as it will be as it grows out. To define your curls and keep your hair moisturized, consider rinsing or cowashing often and possibly using the techniques mentioned at http://www.tightlycurly.com. The curly primer technique has been a life saver for me. I heard about it in a thread created a little while ago: Fantasia IC Gel + Curly Primer Method=OMG HAIR!!!!!!!!

I will be getting this shower head as soon as the funds become available. Thanks for the website and the thread I will be looking into these as well.

I think you need a very deep conditioning treatment that is oil/protein/moisture balanced. Try the coconut creme mixed with coconut milk in the hair as an overnight treatment twice weekly...or the better one...clarified ghee (Indian store or make your own if you know how) and put plastic on your hair then scarf it...conditioner wash out in the a.m. Like other said, use a conditioner leave-in...VO5 milks or Rusk Smoothing Conditioner work wonders. Then seal with an oil like a little castor or apricot kernel oil or shea. Coconut oil is good for summer...but too much can leave your hair crunchy.

I have wanted this ghee because I heard that it also brightens dark lips but haven't found an indian store in my area. I also ran across a website that tell you how to make it but I'd rather buy it first. is it pretty cheap since it's like butter? Alot of people have recommended the coconut oil. I find coconut oil gives a great shine/sheen but it's greasy imo. Does that mean I am using too much?

How's your hair doing today?

Aww thanks so much for asking. i am finally able to get back on the internet after the weekend. Well lol actually i am pretty sure my hair is SUPER dry right now. As I went swimming this weekend and need to really give my hair some love today as well as my children's that is on the agenda. I will say I have decided to just rock my fro freely with no headband and kinda slick the hairs down in the front to make it more girly. And to be stylish I brought some of those goody hair combs and want to attempt a frohawk type thing to dress my hair up a little bit more. KCCC does exactly what I want it to for my hair.

I think your TWA is so cute on you. I agree with some of the others, you've been using a lot of products since you BC'd. You may need to clarify your hair to remove the product build-up. You can use a baking soda and water mix if you don't have a clarifying shampoo. Atleast once a month, you may want to use a chelating poo to remove the mineral deposits from the hard water in your area. ORS Aloe poo is an inexpensive brand.

Good luck and rock your TWA with pride. You're beautiful!

Thank you! Isn't KC's poo a clarifying poo? I know it says moisturizing but to me it leaves my hair pretty squeaky. If not I might go back to the Suave clarifying. I have been meaning to pick up some Baking soda to make a just that. Thanks I will get the ORS poo. I didn't know it chelates. I am trying I am trying but I will say I am in better spirits about it again.

I think you look beautiful, but that is me.

As for moisture you can create a spritz or go to the store and pick up one of the products the ladies mention above.

Another thing you can do is after you wash it use the Vo5 Moisture Milk Strawberry conditioner as a leave in and seal your ends with some type of light oil like coconut or even olive or castor.

Can you do us a favor my beautiful sistah!? Focus on what we say to you, listen to our words of encouragement, wisdom and blessing upon you. Can you do that?

YES I CAN! Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. i love making my own spritz's. I will start doing this soon.

What they said.. cones, sulfates, parabens... get rid of em....
Get some cheap au naturale stuff and see how it reacts... I got a ton of moisturizers.. PM me and I can send you some..

Happy growing!

What do you consider cheap au naturale stuff? Making my own or is there a store you can recommend? I know whole food's but is there something else you were talking about? I will be sending a pm your way now.





thanks so much for all the tips and advice and encouragment! I am feeling better about my decsion although yesterday was a bad hair day. Today though I can't wait to incorporate some of these things into my routine and see what happens.

 

[Ramya]

Up your dc'ing, moisturizing and cowashing. Moisture will save your hair's life and you some frustration. Be patient! It will grow out in due time just focus on keeping that moisture up. I didn't style my TWA much at that length, just moisturized and went so I can't help with the styling. I do not recommend using gel everyday when you already have a moisture issue.

 

[Makenzie]

Wen Fig is very moisturizing and can be used to wash, deep condition and as a leave in.

 

[Deszdamona]

do you think you may have hard water?

LMBO at this

 

[TCatt86]

You look cute with your hair like that, but be patient it will grow. Everyone has given you great advice as far as styling I will tell you what I tell everyone that doesn't feel they have curl definition, do styles that will set your curl, coil outs and twist outs look cute on shorter hair!! Good luck and keep us posted.

 

[BrooklynSouth]

Yup, we Geminis can be impulsive and impatient-we like variety but you have to be patient with your hair..forget about it for a while as far as different styles..just let it be moisturized....grow it will into the prettiest hair you could never have imagined. I keep mine twisted or in an afro, moisturized with IC Aloe liquid leave-in, ALBA BOTANICA LEAVE-IN then oil my ends very well. I pre-poo with oils then deep condition with mostly ORS REPLENISHING. I love conditioner poos which help to soften and help me retain moisture. Once again, be patient and 'forget' about it. healthy, long hair will be your gift.

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

Hey there, take heart and keep trying.

The only suggest I have for you is maybe to try and eliminate silicones. My hair was always dry and hard and I couldn't figure it out until I ditched my silicones products.

Here is a blog post I made about the things I did to help my hair achieve moisture.

Also I DC'd once (or sometimes twice) a week and that also really helped. Eliminating the shampoo/silicones cycle was the main culprit. I have tried to use silicones several times since eliminating them and the same thing happens.

Anyway, that may not be the case for you, but I hope you find what works for you.

As for the curl definition, I think you should focus on the health of your hair first. If you can get it nice and moisturized and healthy, the curls that are present will show up better. I would ditch the gel for now, as they can be drying sometimes. Get a good leave in conditioner.

TWAs should be simple, I know it's all new to you and you're wanting to look a certain way, but you will kill yourself worrying about curl definition too much this soon.

 

[RadiantBeauty]

What they said.. cones, sulfates, parabens... get rid of em....

I agree! Also your BC really looks cute on you!

 

[SignatureBeauty]

Your hair looks really good! Don't worry with what others say, I get the Jherri curl comments daily and the "Soul Glo" song, but it doesn't make me mad at all or make me want to relax again. I too had very dry hard brittle hair after I big chopped the first time and it was hard finding anything to keep it soft, but S-curl diluted really helped and not Co-washing daily also helped me, the first day it may seem like s-curl don't work but it do, I also use the S-curl Texturizing spray in the Blue & Grey Bottle sometimes. What worked for most on here did not work for me, I tried all advice I received to see if they worked but they didn't, BUT I will try them again when my hair gets longer.

I use Suave Humectant Conditioner for a Co-wash 32oz for $3.00

I also use QB heavy cream and I don't even have to apply it everyday to keep my twa moist and soft, so $16 for that cream last me a very long time, I just spritz with distilled water and it seems like the Heavy cream has re-activated LOL!!

 

[natstar]

Gemini- don't worry- everyone gave good advice- u may want to eliminate daily co washing and do it like every few days or so. I use MOP leave in and it leaves my hair really soft. I can always send a bottle ur ways since i have enough to last me like forever. Finally, some cones are ok-but not TOO much cause it just makes ur hair drier.

 

[LivinMyLifeLikeItsGolden]

Sorry to hear about your frustrations girl. For me, I know my hair was a dry depressing mess after I BC. The only thing that keeps my hair moisturized is Hairveda green tea butter, whipped cream, and cocasta oil. Qhemets stuff has been working well with my hair too. I have a bunch of Afroveda stuff which I love, but for the ultimate moisturizing, I use hairveda.
I also DC on my dry hair almost daily and follow up with a cowash to restore moisture. I also noticed doing twists, moisturizing and leaving my hair alone has helped as well.

 

[ChristmasCarol]

I think your hair looks cute...a zillion times better than before your BC.
I'm trying to get my teenage daughter to do the same, but she's scared to death.

 

[Rei]

I agree that it does look like you still have some relaxed ends, and that is probably effecting your curl definition. As for the moisture issue, you should really try some of qhemet's moisturizers. That and Aubrey Organics HSR has changed my hair regimen to something that works while still being exceedingly simple. When my hair is superdry, I baggy it with HSR and coconut oil for a day or so, sometimes that helps. Some people baggy for like a week at a time at night, but my hair hates that. Yours might not. Also be sure that you're drinking a lot of water! This will only affect your NG but still at the TWA phase, NG is everywhere, all the time.

 

[Geminigirl]

Wow my thread got bumped. I am so in love with my hair now. I am still trying to find a cream moisturizer. I wanted to wear twists but my hair is too short and I didn't like it. So I am trying something else out because I want to thicken my hair. My hair seems to tangle and knot up so I don't want to mess with it that much anymore.

I am feeling tons better about my hair though.

LOL@Sipp your right. Just be patient. BC isn't for everyone. She can longterm transtion. Is her hair in a damaged state?

I want to try some of these products mentioned I have seen them on the board but figured they were too expensive. I might have to put out the money.

natstar sending you a pm.

 

[SignatureBeauty]

Well I am glad you are feeling better, just order the samples that way you won't loose much money if you don't like it, but with Qb products I am sure you will love them,they are a life saver for me, all I use is the Heavy Cream, everything else I get at the BSS or Wal-mart.

 

[Geminigirl]

Ok i will look into that today thanks!

 

[AsianAfricanPrincess]

Well my hair is SUPER dry and it has been for months now. Nothing seems to keep it soft. I co wash it still feels dry(Infusium, vo5, Suave) I leave-in(garnier) and then Moisturize(shea butter mix or s curl) and it's still DRY. I love my hair but I think I hate it too. My styles are limited because I have like 2 inches on 1 1/2 inches of unstretced hair. i wouldn't mind rocking a curly fro if my curls had more definition. If I gel my hair everyday eventually will my curls form more? how long will that take? I have no curl definition at all in the back and front. I think it's from always brushing my hair into a ponytail.

Geminigirl, here are a few suggestions from me, based on my having a very similar issue (and similar hair):

1) Stop brushing your hair. The tighter your curl's coil, the frizzier it will look if you keep brushing/combing it. Instead, use your fingers to smooth product through your hair (e.g. shingling) and to slide out any shed hair to prevent tangles/breakage. You can use your fingertips to remove shed hair and use your index and middle finger to smooth (shingle) product through your hair.

2) Stop using Infusium in your hair; replace it with African Royale BRX Braid Spray. The Infusium contains cones (much to my dismay), which can coat your strands and prevent them from accessing moisture...thereby making your hair dry.

3) Make virgin coconut oil your friend. I use this in my hair (as well as shea butter, as my hair was often extremely dry. The molecules in the coconut are small enough to actually penetrate your hair's shaft. You should wet your hair before applying any oils or butters...to seal in the moisture.

4) Spritz your hair daily alternating between pure water (I do that in the morning) and BRX Braid Spray OR Vegetable Glycerine/water/Essential Oils mixture (I spritz with that one at night. This will help prevent buildup and keep your hair CRAZY soft. Really. You should spritz everyday and you'll see your hair's moisture levels increase.

5) Clarify your hair each month (or every few weeks) with Apple Cider Vinegar and water as a mixture. Sponge it into your hair. It will remove any calcium deposits that have built up on your hair's shaft, making your hair softer and more pliable.

6) Use honey mixed into your deep conditioner. I personally use two parts Suave Humectants Conditioner, one part Extra Virgin Olive Oil, and one part Honey. I mix the three together, apply it to my hair, then wrap my hair in saran wrap for two hours and rinse. My hair is super soft afterwards. Honey is a humectant, so it will aid greatly in increasing your hair's moisturization.

7) Get familiar with EcoStyler's Level 7 protein gel (the one in the brown jar). You will love it...it brings out the definition in kinky/coily 4b hair, as well as looser curl patterns. I used to think the EcoStyler hype was BS for looser curl patterns until I tried it. It's the only product during my entire natural journey that I do not at all regret investing in. In fact, I wish I would have bought it sooner. It's cheap, too. But make sure you use a really good moisturizer BEFORE applying the EcoStyler gel. Also, wait until you have your hair's moisturization in check before using the EcoStyler gel, because it can be somewhat drying.

8) Sleep with a silk scarf on your head every single night. Do not, by any means, use cotton scarves.

I hope this is helpful. I completely understand where you're coming from, because I experienced the same emotions and challenges during my natural experience. Give it time. It will take time for you to learn your hair and what brings out its definition and moisturization. Don't give up yet...these tips will really help us more coily/kinkier types.

 

[turnergirl]

I BC'd to less hair than you have the first time I went natural. I would just co-wash my hair and put a good leave in on it. It kept my hair moist. You should also start a deep conditioning regimine. It may take some time but you will see a difference.

 

[AsianAfricanPrincess]

I want to try some of these products mentioned I have seen them on the board but figured they were too expensive. I might have to put out the money.

I didn't read all of the products that were suggested to you here, but I would highly suggest you wait before buying anything that you can't purchase at a local Walgreen's; also, check the hair type of the person suggesting products to you. I've found that the most well-intentioned suggestions were often useless to me when my hairtype didn't really match theirs and my hair didn't respond at all in the same way.

My stress levels lowered significantly and my wallet thanked me when I finally got a clue and found virtual hair twins. I went by their suggestions (after thoroughly researching the product myself), and often found that my success mirrored theirs.

I've also found that kinky/more coily hairtypes often respond the beset to more "pure" or "simpler" products: e.g. shea butter, virgin coconut oil, honey and EVOO. I would not at all suggest buying any products at this point, but this is solely my suggestion. I think you should start with the more basic products first and after your success with those things and the improvement of your hair's moisturization, then move on to more fancier items that can be purchased.

This is my suggestion, though. Of course, the choice is ultimately up to you and you should do what you think is best for your hair.

HTH

 

[FindingMe]

I live in Austin and the water is horrible. I ended up getting a water filter immediately following the BC and it helped a lot.

I transitioned for 16 months, so I have more hair to work with but I can't do WnGs bc they ALWAYS leave my hair hard. The only way I have been able to retain moisture is to twist wet with a good leave in (I like Afroveda curly custard) and let it air dry that way. My hair is always soft when i remove the twists a couple of days later and even has a little shine- otherwise it's dull, dull, dull, dry, dry, dry....regardless of whether I co-wash or Dc or add assorted juices and berries...

 

[chebaby]

the best moisturizer you can use on your hair is african unrefined shea butter mixed with organic coconut oil. that combo right there is better than any product i have ever used and i have tried everything mentioned on this board.

 

[Geminigirl]

Geminigirl, here are a few suggestions from me, based on my having a very similar issue (and similar hair):

1) Stop brushing your hair. The tighter your curl's coil, the frizzier it will look if you keep brushing/combing it. Instead, use your fingers to smooth product through your hair (e.g. shingling) and to slide out any shed hair to prevent tangles/breakage. You can use your fingertips to remove shed hair and use your index and middle finger to smooth (shingle) product through your hair.

2) Stop using Infusium in your hair; replace it with African Royale BRX Braid Spray. The Infusium contains cones (much to my dismay), which can coat your strands and prevent them from accessing moisture...thereby making your hair dry.

3) Make virgin coconut oil your friend. I use this in my hair (as well as shea butter, as my hair was often extremely dry. The molecules in the coconut are small enough to actually penetrate your hair's shaft. You should wet your hair before applying any oils or butters...to seal in the moisture.

4) Spritz your hair daily alternating between pure water (I do that in the morning) and BRX Braid Spray OR Vegetable Glycerine/water/Essential Oils mixture (I spritz with that one at night. This will help prevent buildup and keep your hair CRAZY soft. Really. You should spritz everyday and you'll see your hair's moisture levels increase.

5) Clarify your hair each month (or every few weeks) with Apple Cider Vinegar and water as a mixture. Sponge it into your hair. It will remove any calcium deposits that have built up on your hair's shaft, making your hair softer and more pliable.

6) Use honey mixed into your deep conditioner. I personally use two parts Suave Humectants Conditioner, one part Extra Virgin Olive Oil, and one part Honey. I mix the three together, apply it to my hair, then wrap my hair in saran wrap for two hours and rinse. My hair is super soft afterwards. Honey is a humectant, so it will aid greatly in increasing your hair's moisturization.

7) Get familiar with EcoStyler's Level 7 protein gel (the one in the brown jar). You will love it...it brings out the definition in kinky/coily 4b hair, as well as looser curl patterns. I used to think the EcoStyler hype was BS for looser curl patterns until I tried it. It's the only product during my entire natural journey that I do not at all regret investing in. In fact, I wish I would have bought it sooner. It's cheap, too. But make sure you use a really good moisturizer BEFORE applying the EcoStyler gel. Also, wait until you have your hair's moisturization in check before using the EcoStyler gel, because it can be somewhat drying.

8) Sleep with a silk scarf on your head every single night. Do not, by any means, use cotton scarves.

I hope this is helpful. I completely understand where you're coming from, because I experienced the same emotions and challenges during my natural experience. Give it time. It will take time for you to learn your hair and what brings out its definition and moisturization. Don't give up yet...these tips will really help us more coily/kinkier types.

WOW that's alot to take in but I read every bit. I have a satin bonnet and it does seem to be drying to me. I don't feel like it helps hold in any moisture.

I LOVE ecostyler gel. I have the white, blue. and pink one. I was scared of the brown one but I didn't know it was a level 7 until recently. I will have to try. My favorite so far is the white one but it does tend to get a little hard. What if I am not wearing my hair blow dried do I still spritz it?

Thanks I am going to try your suggestions.

the best moisturizer you can use on your hair is african unrefined shea butter mixed with organic coconut oil. that combo right there is better than any product i have ever used and i have tried everything mentioned on this board.

I love shea butter but I feel like it's best for two strands and braids right? Twistouts those kinds of things? I have some right now. It's shea butter, castor oil, ylang ylang, lavander, Eculaptyus(sp) EO's. I will try Shea and Coconut oil next time as Shea butter is def a staple for me and my kids.

 

[AsianAfricanPrincess]

WOW that's alot to take in but I read every bit. I have a satin bonnet and it does seem to be drying to me. I don't feel like it helps hold in any moisture.

I LOVE ecostyler gel. I have the white, blue. and pink one. I was scared of the brown one but I didn't know it was a level 7 until recently. I will have to try. My favorite so far is the white one but it does tend to get a little hard. What if I am not wearing my hair blow dried do I still spritz it?

Thanks I am going to try your suggestions.

I'm weary of "satin" scarves and bonnets because many of them are made from polyester, which is still absorbent. I would suggest a silk scarf, instead, as silk is a natural insulator and conductor; it will trap in the moisture and warmth, which is a good thing for curly hair.

No matter what, you should spritz your hair daily. If it's in a really precise style, just mist it mildly in the morning and at night. If you just finish twisting, braiding, coiling...always finish it off with a few mists of spritz and your hair's moisture will be incredible in no time.

One of the posters also mentioned virgin coconut oil and shea butter...you can rub the shea butter between your hands to emulsify it and then run it through your moistened hair. Then, style as needed. If your hair is still dry after doing all of these steps after a few times (including the honey/conditioner), I would seriously be surprised.

My hair was crazy dry in the beginning and those are the things that I learned over my natural experience which have helped me tremendously.