Spinoff: the ethnicity of your SO's exes...does it matter to you?

[Latifah]

I'm not interested in exes so their ethnicity isn't something that will keep me busy.

His mindstate/personality is all I'm interested in. Tells you enough about certain choices he's made/will make in life. Just get to know him and leave exes out if there aren't children involved.

 

[shespoison]

It matters because I learned from experience. I was the first black woman my ex dated. He put ww on a pedestal and he left me with a few scars. He once told me he loved how they were so happy and carefree and even the way they couldn't dance was "adorable" to him. He definitely had issues with race being a classical musician and usually being the only token. He would talk about how he hated wp, but most of his friends were white.

Eta I think I am a magnet for this type. Too many men approach me and feel comfortable enough to say "I don't usually date black women but I like you?" I learned not to take offense and be glad that they warned me.

 

[aribell]

^^^I've had that conversation with a couple of people. One guy outright said that he usually dated white girls, but also that I'm attractive and he could see how white men would be interested in me. :/ Another actually said something like "Why would a man date a "Shanaynay" when they could just get Becky...something about Becky being nice and sweet. Ironically, he fell hard for me and I've never heard anything else negative about black women since that conversation.

Here's what I've noticed--how do these men feel about their mothers and family of origin? If they are embarrassed or feel like they come from a "ghetto" family, they are, as far as I've seen, more likely to idolize white women, or women of other races.