Spinny: let's talk about dating these days....

[FlawedBeauty]

I am an odd ball but I hate going on dates. I can't stand going to dinner on a date. I would rather be home hanging out lol. Im all for it with my bf, but with strangers I just hate it lol. Maybe im just lazy lol

 

[PretteePlease]

IMHO

coffee is only an acceptable 1st meeting if you met online

if you walked up to me and we met you are going to walk me into a restaurant

PS if I am interested in you romantically you have to take me out to dinner not lunch you can take me to lunch once we are dating but not in the early dating stage. You have to make time to have dinner with me. If you can't make time to see me in the evening for dinner we aren't gonna work.

 

[qchelle]

I prefer going "dutch" at first. First few dates, I'm going to help pay. I have to suggest it and there has to be follow through. I have to make sure he's not one of those guys whose ego is completely tied to having money. I feel like that would be more of an issue for me : "I have to pay cuz I'm the man I'm the man I'm the maaan" like, I know you're a man stfu. than "can you please help me pay cuz I'm broke". Because I really can't see that happening. I wouldn't be out here with you if I didn't know your salary via glassdoor. "What do you do where do you work? " glassdooor that ish pass or fail. And I've never been on a date where if the guy has adequate funds asking me to pay (which is why I mentioned I have to be the one to bring it up. And you will not b**** and moan about it. I hate that ish. I really do. And it's just caused problems down the road for the relationship before )

Now, after that. Yea, he's paying for everything. His money is our money and my money is my money. But I want you to know that I don't care about your money cuz I got money b****. But you still gonna give me your money lmao. I'm phucked up.

 

[Rocky91]

Thanks to all y'all who responded, I didn't abandon my own thread but I had to take my students on a field trip today.

That same dude offered to take me out to lunch today so I'm like wait you'll take a coworker who you honestly barely know out to lunch but you're out here taking dates for a frappe?? Huh?

And today we talked about rings lol (my workplace is marriage/baby central and lots of hookups so it's pretty common conversation) and that same girl over here saying she'd be fine with a $50 ring from etsy it's the thought that counts.

I almost dropped out of my seat.

 

[ElizaBlue]

IMHO coffee is only an acceptable 1st meeting if you met online if you walked up to me and we met you are going to walk me into a restaurant PS if I am interested in you romantically you have to take me out to dinner not lunch you can take me to lunch once we are dating but not in the early dating stage. You have to make time to have dinner with me. If you can't make time to see me in the evening for dinner we aren't gonna work.

Agreed. I'm not trying to sit through a whole dinner with you when your Internet 6'3 turned out to be a real life 5'9...coffee will do!

 

[Oasis]

she'd be fine with a $50 ring from etsy it's the thought that counts.

i told my bf i wanted a wooden, hand-made ring from etsy. he said no. i hate jewelry and i've lost every piece i've ever owned.

when i was dating, i liked to do fun first dates. science city museum, bowling, bookstore, comedy show etc. when i went on free dates it never even occurred to me the dude was trying to be cheap. i really don't care that much if he spends money or not as long as im not spending money.

 

[Rocky91]

i told my bf i wanted a wooden, hand-made ring from etsy. he said no. i hate jewelry and i've lost every piece i've ever owned. when i was dating, i liked to do fun first dates. science city museum, bowling, bookstore, comedy show etc. when i went on free dates it never even occurred to me the dude was trying to be cheap. i really don't care that much if he spends money or not as long as im not spending money.

He shut you down huh?? Lol.
And those are not cheap sounding dates to me necessarily. Hell a comedy show night with drinks could be around $200 easily in this city

 

[SpiritJunkie]

Dating is killing me right now. I've been dating someone off & on for 9'months, we don't live In the same city. His most recent visits he tells me, he has a situation back home. A gf.
What? So I tell him we need to put a pause on this because I don't play that. He don't want to throw away our friendship. I should just keep on walking right even though we became close...and let him go? As I'm typing this I'm thinking, you know what to do.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

I had dinner with some older women this week and one (wealthy & widowed) said a guy from church likes her but is sending message through others. He left a note on her car last Sunday asking if she was "single to mingle". Her late husband was an Alpha male that pursued her relentlessly so you can imagine how much of a turn off it is to have an age appropriate man (we presume) sending messages through others and leaving notes.

They have all been married 20 - 40 years including one who mentioned finding her husband in college after her boyfriend went to fight in Vietnam. They had stories for days, including asking why so many women are going to a man's home on a first date since that was simply out of the question back when they dated. Take me out, wine and dine me, impress me. They could not believe that any woman would end up at a man's house on a first date. Then it turned to Bill Cosby so the dating stories ended.

 

[CaraWalker]

I had dinner with some older women this week and one (wealthy & widowed) said a guy from church likes her but is sending message through others. He left a note on her car last Sunday asking if she was "single to mingle". Her late husband was an Alpha male that pursued her relentlessly so you can imagine how much of a turn off it is to have an age appropriate man (we presume) sending messages through others and leaving notes.

They have all been married 20 - 40 years including one who mentioned finding her husband in college after her boyfriend went to fight in Vietnam. They had stories for days, including asking why so many women are going to a man's home on a first date since that was simply out of the question back when they dated. Take me out, wine and dine me, impress me. They could not believe that any woman would end up at a man's house on a first date. Then it turned to Bill Cosby so the dating stories ended.

old people

 

[naturalmanenyc]

I like drinks as a first date as well. At a nice lounge, wine bar or even a nice sports bar and then if we click move on to something else.

On the second date is when I expect more.

What are people defining as "wine and dine". Are we talking about fine dining. For me, I wouldn't even want that. I'd much prefer to check out the new Ethiopian restaurant, sushi bar or Ramen spot.

Wine and dine means no drive thru and no casual dining. If I can wear jeans, then it's not a first date place that I'd select. This presumes older, established men. For college guys I think casual dining is fine.