**SPIN OFF** What kind of Chemistry is this?!?

[Cleve_gryl]

This is a spinoff to the no chemistry thread....

I've been "talking" to a new beau for a couple of weeks. Timing has been kinda off, he's been studying for an exam for work, I've been working on a new job etc. So, we haven't really made the time to sit down and just get to know each other real well.

The thing is, when he calls my heart skips and he's told me that he likes me a whole lot too. We have obvious physical attraction towards each other too. BUT, the thing is more times than not when we talk on the phone we end up aruging with each other and I'll hang up on him...then call right back or he calls me right back...childish I know . We both have these strong temperments and seem a lot alike. We're afraid we're not compatible since we fight all the time. I told him, I haven't had the time to know him yet and vice versa...meaning if we understood each others communication styles it would be easier to communicate.

Are we doomed? Is this a waste of time? What do yall think?

 

[doublejo]

This is a spinoff to the no chemistry thread....

I've been "talking" to a new beau for a couple of weeks. Timing has been kinda off, he's been studying for an exam for work, I've been working on a new job etc. So, we haven't really made the time to sit down and just get to know each other real well.

The thing is, when he calls my heart skips and he's told me that he likes me a whole lot too. We have obvious physical attraction towards each other too. BUT, the thing is more times than not when we talk on the phone we end up aruging with each other and I'll hang up on him...then call right back or he calls me right back...childish I know . We both have these strong temperments and seem a lot alike. We're afraid we're not compatible since we fight all the time. I told him, I haven't had the time to know him yet and vice versa...meaning if we understood each others communication styles it would be easier to communicate.

Are we doomed? Is this a waste of time? What do yall think?

I say just be friends, if your already clashing til the point of hanging up on each other and you're not serious yet it will probably be a rocky relationship.

 

[BroadstreetBully]

This is a spinoff to the no chemistry thread....

I've been "talking" to a new beau for a couple of weeks. Timing has been kinda off, he's been studying for an exam for work, I've been working on a new job etc. So, we haven't really made the time to sit down and just get to know each other real well.

The thing is, when he calls my heart skips and he's told me that he likes me a whole lot too. We have obvious physical attraction towards each other too. BUT, the thing is more times than not when we talk on the phone we end up aruging with each other and I'll hang up on him...then call right back or he calls me right back...childish I know . We both have these strong temperments and seem a lot alike. We're afraid we're not compatible since we fight all the time. I told him, I haven't had the time to know him yet and vice versa...meaning if we understood each others communication styles it would be easier to communicate.

Are we doomed? Is this a waste of time? What do yall think?

Uh oh. j/k

Arguing and the like isn't a healthy way to start any relationship. Please do not hang up on him anymore, no matter how angry...every move you make, men will analyze it. What type of stuff are you two arguing over?

And answer this honestly...do you get a bit of "satisfaction" from the arguments? Some couples seem to thrive on arguments, I guess it's a temperament thing.

 

[Cleve_gryl]

I say just be friends, if your already clashing til the point of hanging up on each other and you're not serious yet it will probably be a rocky relationship.

I've suggested that...we take a step back and hang out as friends with no pressure. If we still have sparks then we'll be in a better place maybe?

 

[Cleve_gryl]

Uh oh. j/k

Arguing and the like isn't a healthy way to start any relationship. Please do not hang up on him anymore, no matter how angry...every move you make, men will analyze it. What type of stuff are you two arguing over?

And answer this honestly...do you get a bit of "satisfaction" from the arguments? Some couples seem to thrive on arguments, I guess it's a temperament thing.

I know girl...I've been in a firey type relationship before where we fought hard/loved hard and it was just too much. We really like each other and I want to make this work. Maybe I need to look at myself and how I react to certain things. We'll fight about things I'll say that he may misinterpret. We have a few misunderstandings, which I chalk up to the not knowing each other thing

 

[itismehmmkay]

I know girl...I've been in a firey type relationship before where we fought hard/loved hard and it was just too much. We really like each other and I want to make this work. Maybe I need to look at myself and how I react to certain things. We'll fight about things I'll say that he may misinterpret. We have a few misunderstandings, which I chalk up to the not knowing each other thing

Yeah it's alot, but sometimes it's kinda hot.
And yeah, what are ya'll arguing about?

 

[blkbeauty]

Been there - done that! I was in a fiery relationship with a man for 10 years and when others asked how long was it like that, I had to embarrassingly tell them from day one!

We were alike in some ways, always butting heads. But in many ways we were different. Being in a new relationship now I see that me and my ex were the same as we both are very, very emotional sensitive, yet strong fixed minded people (although I would never admit this about myself) and the difference were that we we thought the opposite, have different opinions and values.

TBH, this intensity was something that I hated and loved at the same time. Its weird but when I was younger and things were relaxed, we both needed a good fight to stir things up. Year after year it became more and more of a rollercoaster that involved cops, verbal abuse and sometime it was physical then quickly switch to intense love-making and long, long intimate talks. To this day, I still feel there is no one I know better, but at the end of it all I didn't gain anything except for a chair in a counselor's office and many years lost on true happiness.

I can't give you advice, but from my knowledge and past I can suggest rethinking getting attach to this person. You will not gain anything from it, except years of stress.

 

[Simply_Kelz]

Me and an ex-boyfriend were just like that.

But seriously, haven't you ever seen the notebook? I know it's just a movie but I quote : They fought all the time, they couldn't agree on anything. [or something like that.] .. but they had one thing in common ; they were crazy about each other.

 

[blkbeauty]

Me and an ex-boyfriend were just like that.

But seriously, haven't you ever seen the notebook? I know it's just a movie but I quote : They fought all the time, they couldn't agree on anything. [or something like that.] .. but they had one thing in common ; they were crazy about each other.

Aww..the beauty of being young and in-love. Actually I have toold my ex who I mentioned above after we broke up I looked at our relationship like a novel or some kind of die-hearted love relationship. Although we fought a lot and we loved each other very much so, as you get older love (the feeling) is not the only thing that involves loving someone. Its not even the most important thing. There MUST, MUST, MUST be respect!

 

[Farida]

This is a spinoff to the no chemistry thread....

I've been "talking" to a new beau for a couple of weeks. Timing has been kinda off, he's been studying for an exam for work, I've been working on a new job etc. So, we haven't really made the time to sit down and just get to know each other real well.

The thing is, when he calls my heart skips and he's told me that he likes me a whole lot too. We have obvious physical attraction towards each other too. BUT, the thing is more times than not when we talk on the phone we end up aruging with each other and I'll hang up on him...then call right back or he calls me right back...childish I know . We both have these strong temperments and seem a lot alike. We're afraid we're not compatible since we fight all the time. I told him, I haven't had the time to know him yet and vice versa...meaning if we understood each others communication styles it would be easier to communicate.

Are we doomed? Is this a waste of time? What do yall think?

I would say it is a bad sign if you have been talking only for a few weeks and are fighting all the time. This should be the honeymoon/infatuation stage.

If you had been together longer I would suggest counseling to learn how to fight fair. However counseling this early in a relationship is just a bad sign to me.

 

[Bublin]

When i met my ex we would argue/have heated discussions all the time. We both put it down to the fact we were passionate human beings blah blah blah. We always had to agree to disagree.
Infact he was a control freak and i refused to let him 'win'.
The relationship ended suddenly and badly.

My new SO is the complete opposite and its like love is all around.
He doesn't like to have cross words and all he wants to do is make me happy.
We have had discussions but never ever raised voices. Basically there is no feeling of competition between us and the thought of having an all out argument with him and slamming down the phone frightens me as i would never want to do that to him.

 

[Cleve_gryl]

When i met my ex we would argue/have heated discussions all the time. We both put it down to the fact we were passionate human beings blah blah blah. We always had to agree to disagree.
Infact he was a control freak and i refused to let him 'win'.
The relationship ended suddenly and badly.

Wow, I think this is exactly what the situation is. We argue over dumb stuff, like he doesn't like how I answer the phone or gets heated because I'll make a comment he doesn't agree with.

I really appreciate all you ladies that commented, it just opened my eyes some. I'm going to step away from this one...I really like him, but we're just not compatible.