Spin Off: Living with your SO/Hubby - Do you stay fly inside the house, too?

[Suerte]

This thread might be a tad TMI on the body function tip...but it's for a valid reason

Those of us ladies who live alone (or with a relative or female roommate)... I love the freedom of being able to walk around the house naked with VEET smeared all on my arms and legs... a Mint Julep mask on my face... and deep conditioner in my hair. And I can do this whenever I want to!

BUT... if my SO is over for extended days or if I'm at his place for extended days... I have my "semi-natural" self that I present. Meaning... no makeup, but my hair is in a semi-style, I wear moisturizer and cherry chap stick and a cute casual outfit. He probably thinks this is how I always am.

Example...

ALONE:

WITH SO:

But for those of you who actually LIVE with your man/husband... how do you do it? Do you just say "Screw it...this is me." Or do you consciously make an effort to not let him see you in a certain way?

How do you do it? Does it get tiring? Has he ever caught you in a seriously un-pretty situation? Do you ever get to the point where you both just say FORGET IT and just get real natural? lol

My SO/making up my mind about this man and I are real comfortable in certain situations... as in telling disgusting stories to eachother, him burping and farting, me burping (accidentally farted once and was SO EMBARRASSED but he thought it was funny)... he poops with the bathroom door open...we are always in eachothers faces and will even grab an eye booger out eachothers eyes... we say we're like primates who groom eachother.

But certain things... I just don't want him to EVER see me do. I never want him to see a used tampon or pad, never want him to see me with Veet underneath my chin or waxing my upper lip... I don't want him to hear my sh%t hit the water or see me have diarrhea or be sick like that... but when you live with someone for YEARS...obviously sometimes, you see things you really aren't supposed to see.

How do you deal with it? Have you hidden the true NATURAL you for 5, 10, 20 years?

 

[Proudpiscean]

I often wonder the same things Suerte!
I have never been married or lived with my SO and I know there are certain things I would never want him to witness.
Can't wait to see other responses.

 

[Dee-Licious]

I ddin't live with my past dude. But we were togehter a considerable amount of time either at my place or his. I was just me. Walking around in just a big tshirt like i always do. Rollers in my head, or DC in my hair with a baggy on.

Hell he likes my hair, so he shouldn't mind what I do to take care of it.

I do at least brush my teeth when he's here

 

[WhipEffectz1]

I ddin't live with my past dude. But we were togehter a considerable amount of time either at my place or his. I was just me. Walking around in just a big tshirt like i always do. Rollers in my head, or DC in my hair with a baggy on.

Hell he likes my hair, so he shouldn't mind what I do to take care of it.

I do at least brush my teeth when he's here

Exactly, its whatever! I do get g-ed up for special occasions sometimes but other than that "nah!"

 

[WaterChylde]

I'm married so there it no hiding it. Even when I try to stay in the bathroom and spare him the scary things he follows me.

 

[Bint Yusef]

I cant pretend to be something Im not. I mean you do all sorts of things with your DH to the point there is probably not an inch on your body he hasnt seen, so why front?

 

[Arcadian]

I'm just me. You get over after a while. Our house is private enough that If I want to be naked its no biggie. I try not to wear facial masks around him because he feels its the best opportunity to get the camera outerplexed

When I'm primped and dressed he's all like "I don't wanna get you messy" , but when I'm already messy he figures its playtime (not that i'm bothered by that or anything)

I think he appreciates me more because of that.

-A

 

[Suerte]

So once you get married....all modesty goes out the window?

I dunno... I don't think I could do that. I mean, I'm all for being open and honest but while *I* don't mind taking out a trashcan full of wrapped up tampons and maxi pads...I don't think I'd be comfortable with my husband pulling out a plastic bag, tying the knot with the big green Always with Wings wrapper staring at him.

I like to clean my navel in private. I'd rather not share the color of my earwax with my man.

I dunno.

I figure that you should still keep up that womanly charm with your man...no matter how long you been together. I would feel so EXPOSED.

 

[Arcadian]

So once you get married....all modesty goes out the window?

I dunno... I don't think I could do that. I mean, I'm all for being open and honest but while *I* don't mind taking out a trashcan full of wrapped up tampons and maxi pads...I don't think I'd be comfortable with my husband pulling out a plastic bag, tying the knot with the big green Always with Wings wrapper staring at him.

I like to clean my navel in private. I'd rather not share the color of my earwax with my man.

I dunno.

I figure that you should still keep up that womanly charm with your man...no matter how long you been together. I would feel so EXPOSED.

When it comes to living with someone, there's the day to day reality, then there' the day to day fantasy.

When I was single there's LOTS of things I would have never done in front of somebody else either The longer I'm with SO the more comfortable I get. Not to the point of being sloppy but with me being open to him seeing certain parts of me.

Though I'll never EVER let him see me poo or pee... those things are totally private Our new bathroom has a water closet for which I'm forever grateful. HE on the other hand will just whip it out and go.

Most days SO and I shower together. (um..it saves on water) So I've cleaned a bit more than my belly button in front of him. But even then there's modesty. Its all fun though, he's always trying to check out what I'm doing

Plus there's the illness aspect. If you live with someone long enough, you'll end up taking care of them or they'll take care of you at some point and time, be it for a cold, flu, or something more serious, and there's somethings you just won't be able to hide forever unless you just never share a house/bathroom/bedroom.

And seriously as much a I love my SO, if he upchucks when he's ill I can't say I look forward to cleaning it up...but thats also true for him too! But love can make you strong in ways that you try to ease their pain when you can. So sometimes you clean up a little upchuck or whatever.

I still maintain my own modesty and put on my house clothes( so I'm not always running around naked...lol), but I guess I just don't have doing certai things in front of my mate considering how much of me he's already seen/been privy to. If he hasn't ran away screaming after that, then I guess it must be love!

SO IMO, its a rather unrealistic view that your mate never sees "your unmentionables" unless you just plan on having your own quarters that your mate never enters.

-A

 

[Suerte]

When it comes to living with someone, there's the day to day reality, then there' the day to day fantasy.

When I was single there's LOTS of things I would have never done in front of somebody else either The longer I'm with SO the more comfortable I get. Not to the point of being sloppy but with me being open to him seeing certain parts of me.

Though I'll never EVER let him see me poo or pee... those things are totally private Our new bathroom has a water closet for which I'm forever grateful. HE on the other hand will just whip it out and go.

Most days SO and I shower together. (um..it saves on water) So I've cleaned a bit more than my belly button in front of him. But even then there's modesty. Its all fun though, he's always trying to check out what I'm doing

Plus there's the illness aspect. If you live with someone long enough, you'll end up taking care of them or they'll take care of you at some point and time, be it for a cold, flu, or something more serious, and there's somethings you just won't be able to hide forever unless you just never share a house/bathroom/bedroom.

And seriously as much a I love my SO, if he upchucks when he's ill I can't say I look forward to cleaning it up...but thats also true for him too! But love can make you strong in ways that you try to ease their pain when you can. So sometimes you clean up a little upchuck or whatever.

I still maintain my own modesty and put on my house clothes( so I'm not always running around naked...lol), but I guess I just don't have doing certai things in front of my mate considering how much of me he's already seen/been privy to. If he hasn't ran away screaming after that, then I guess it must be love!

SO IMO, its a rather unrealistic view that your mate never sees "your unmentionables" unless you just plan on having your own quarters that your mate never enters.

-A

I know the fantasy/reality is different. Maybe I'll have to BE in that situation and watch how HE relaxes in order for me to relax. I agree...it probably has to do with spending that 24/7 together for months and years on end.

BTW... I shower with mines, too... but the Q-tip in the bellybutton and the brown ear-wax on the Q-tip aren't cool with me. Even though it's okay for him to soap up a washcloth and wash my *** for me. It's weird. It's just these lil fine lines I dunno if I could cross.

This is a really good breakdown. Thank you so much for responding.

 

[Connie]

Okay, I have to ask, how comfortable are you ladies with your SO/hubby passing gas around you? Seriously, when he does it anywhere and anytime in the house, or when he can hold it until he gets a safe distance away from you but doesn't because you're so crazy about each other that his stink is your stank, does it bother you a bit or do you laught it off and silently anticipate the chance to return the favor with a bootie-blast of your own?

I won't sweat the occasional fart that slips out, because it happens to everyone, but I have a problem with the guy who does it around me all the time like it's a mating call.

 

[Maynard]

Naw. That's just a fantasy. I cant be that sexy all the time!



There is no way you can be "on" all the time.

He knows what it is, and he's cool with it. I try to make sure my hair looks decent for the most part, but I dont worry about my clothing.

 

[Suerte]

Naw. That's just a fantasy. I cant be that sexy all the time!



There is no way you can be "on" all the time.

He knows what it is, and he's cool with it. I try to make sure my hair looks decent for the most part, but I dont worry about my clothing.

LOL OMG... that icon has a butt crack! So cute!

 

[kweenameena]

I tried to stay cute all the time before and right after we got married. It worked for a little while. but later it was like whatever!
It took him 3 years to catch me poopin'. Well actually that was the first time he walked in right after I walked out and I could no longer hide the fact that my ish didn't really smell like potpourri!

 

[MizAvalon]

It is harder when you live with someone full time to maintain *complete* modesty. Impossible, really.

When I had a live-in, I was definitely more relaxed than when were just dating but I never let myself go completely all out like I do now when I'm alone. But I still always tried to make an effort to never look like a complete slob. Even when I was lounging around the house I tried to have on a cute little pajama set or matching sweats. No reason to wear raggedy, busted clothes just because. I would slack occasionally, but on the whole I always tried to look decent.

Now any thing that goes on in a bathroom? That is completely private and doesn't get seen by anyone. Nor do I want to see what he's doing in there.

 

[Bint Yusef]

I know the fantasy/reality is different. Maybe I'll have to BE in that situation and watch how HE relaxes in order for me to relax. I agree...it probably has to do with spending that 24/7 together for months and years on end.

BTW... I shower with mines, too... but the Q-tip in the bellybutton and the brown ear-wax on the Q-tip aren't cool with me. Even though it's okay for him to soap up a washcloth and wash my *** for me. It's weird. It's just these lil fine lines I dunno if I could cross.

This is a really good breakdown. Thank you so much for responding.

It seems like that just may be your personality than being overly prissy. If that makes sense.Which I think is much more manageable. Yes there are little things you keep to yourself, that is certainly fine.

I know some women who try to hide everything from their live-ins to the point of absurdity and inconvenience all in effort to put on airs and appear to be flawless. This I cannot tolerate or deal with.

 

[PeaceFlow]

Im always naked in someway, I worry he'll get sick because he sees it so much. I wear my baggy around him too but he likes it as long as I wear the pink one lol

 

[carcajada]

But for those of you who actually LIVE with your man/husband... how do you do it? Do you just say "Screw it...this is me."

Yes and he's fine with it. He says even when I'm busted up (meaning, looking a hot buttery mess at home) I'm cute. Me being busted gives him the environment to do the same. So we just look like messes at home. But that's why we bought our house, so we can look how we wanna look and not give a ****!

 

[Suerte]

It seems like that just may be your personality than being overly prissy. If that makes sense.Which I think is much more manageable. Yes there are little things you keep to yourself, that is certainly fine.

I know some women who try to hide everything from their live-ins to the point of absurdity and inconvenience all in effort to put on airs and appear to be flawless. This I cannot tolerate or deal with.

Yeah. I mean... I'd be fine with certain things but some stuff I'd just rather do in private...and have him be totally unaware of the fact I even do it.

Have you been married a long time?

I could never hide everything. I wouldn't be one of those women who woke up an hour before her man to primp before hand. That kinda stuff makes me sick!

 

[cocosweet]

It is harder when you live with someone full time to maintain *complete* modesty. Impossible, really.

So True. I still try to, but I'm not going to extremes.

Now any thing that goes on in a bathroom? That is completely private and doesn't get seen by anyone. Nor do I want to see what he's doing in there.

If I don't lock the door, his nosy *** will pop on in and be like "Whatchu doin'?" My response is usually, "Get out of here, you nut!"

 

[need2accumulate]

Okay, I have to ask, how comfortable are you ladies with your SO/hubby passing gas around you? Seriously, when he does it anywhere and anytime in the house, or when he can hold it until he gets a safe distance away from you but doesn't because you're so crazy about each other that his stink is your stank, does it bother you a bit or do you laught it off and silently anticipate the chance to return the favor with a bootie-blast of your own?

I won't sweat the occasional fart that slips out, because it happens to everyone, but I have a problem with the guy who does it around me all the time like it's a mating call.

I honestly flip out, but i am neurotic. My DH doesn't do this though, he goes in the bathroom which i think is proper, and I do the same.

I can barely tolerate his accidental slip ups in his sleep. I will hit him and go sleep on the couch when I know damn well he couldn't control it

 

[dlewis]

I'm natural all the time when at home. I'm nude always when the kids are not here. I love being nude. I use masks and do everything else around DH.

I remember my mother getting on to me when we first married, telling me I should look a little presentable when around the house that I wasn't as cute as I thought I was without makeup and Dh didn't want to look at that. Anyways after many months of thinking about this I decided that I should continue what I was doing because she had been married three times and wasn't married at the time. So being dolled up 24/7 hadn't really gained her anything.erplexed

 

[winterinatl]

I don't like for a man to see my shave. Anything. And I also don't like them to be able to know I'm on my period, unless I tell them. I also don't clip nails either. I try really really hard to not let folks know anything nasty comes out of me, but after a while, the belches and farts just kinda get forgotten to be "held"

I dress in lounge wear at home all day.

I have always wanted to look more "at home fly" though, like you see chicks on sitcoms always dressed. But I look at those shows and think "do people really dress like this all day long?" Like they fixin' to go somewhere?

 

[Bmack]

I don't care. My husband has saw me tore up from the floor up

No really at this stage, its no big deal. I try to keep things tight but sometimes

 

[foxxymami]

I lived with him temporarily and there was no getting around letting him see how I look in my slippers and sleep scarves, and face masks.

 

[Suerte]

I have always wanted to look more "at home fly" though, like you see chicks on sitcoms always dressed. But I look at those shows and think "do people really dress like this all day long?" Like they fixin' to go somewhere?

I noticed that on King of Queens all the time.

Who sits around the house all day in jeans, high heeled boots, a blazer, a thermal longsleeve T, a colored scarf, and a great blowout?

LOL.

CARRIE.

 

[Radianthealth]

I walk around naked all the time and I never do my hair when I am at home. DH appreciates how well I "clean up"

I could do better at not looking so busted all the time when we are just laying arounderplexed

 

[andreab]

Yes and he's fine with it. He says even when I'm busted up (meaning, looking a hot buttery mess at home) I'm cute. Me being busted gives him the environment to do the same. So we just look like messes at home. But that's why we bought our house, so we can look how we wanna look and not give a ****!

ClassyND put it down. Hard work to keep modesty at home. My DH farts all over the place. Me maybe once the rest are silent. I turn the water or the fan on in the bathroom for #1 and #2. The rest he likes or doesn't care. I keep the bathroom door shut on all occassions no mater what.

 

[neenzmj]

I've been married 11 1/2 years. We started out being embarrassed for each other to see certain things, but time is constantly changing all that For me personally, the more my husband and I become one, the more comfortable we've become with each other -- even the gross stuff.

 

[CurliDiva]

Does having kids make you ladies more open? I have a girlfriend that said after being in labor and having her husband see "that" the idea of him realizing that she farted was no biggie.

I guess as a single gal - I still want to be "cute" as much as possible. I'm not talking full makeup & heels or anything - but there has to be a happy medium between being a FLY girl and being tore up.