Soulmates In Relationships

[syze6]

So my gf sent me the meme of Alicia Keys and Swizz that says,"Sometimes your soulmate is in a relationship, break that Shish up!"

My gf seems to swear by this, but I have never painted roses where relationships start with cheating. She says I'm out of touch with reality. Am I out of touch or are soulmates really in relationships with non soulmates and need to be interfered with?

 

[MizAvalon]

I feel like if the person in the relationship feels strongly enough about an outside person then they will willingly break it off. The gravitational pull will be so strong that they won't be able to help themselves. I do believe in soulmates but I think very, very few people are actually married to their soulmate. And that's fine too. Often, a soulmate isn't a romantic partner.

 

[ckisland]

Often, a soulmate isn't a romantic partner.

^^ This. Like David and Jonathan in the Old Testament. They were soulmates and not in a romantic way. My bff and I are soulmates. I keep saying that if I find a man that's like her, then he would be perfect for me LOL!

Cheaters will find anyway to validate their cheating. 99.99% of people cheating aren't cheating because they're soulmates. They just want something they don't have. Why aren't people upfront and break up with their SO instead of cheating behind their back? Because they're cowards or self-centered or they don't want to jump ship not knowing for sure that it'll work out, or they're just "playing around." If you want to be with someone else, be upfront about it.

Cheating has never been a mind-blowing, soul crushing thing to me. But I also believe that you can be in love with more than one person at a time, and it's not a crime.

 

[B_Phlyy]

I feel like if the person in the relationship feels strongly enough about an outside person then they will willingly break it off. The gravitational pull will be so strong that they won't be able to help themselves. I do believe in soulmates but I think very, very few people are actually married to their soulmate. And that's fine too. Often, a soulmate isn't a romantic partner.

Agreed. It's also possible to have more than one soulmate in your lifetime.

As someone who has been cheated on and the cheater, there is rarely much soul work going on. It's mostly desire and an opportunity that leads to it. Your girlfriend is tripping @syze6

 

[syze6]

Agreed. It's also possible to have more than one soulmate in your lifetime.

As someone who has been cheated on and the cheater, there is rarely much soul work going on. It's mostly desire and an opportunity that leads to it. Your girlfriend is tripping @syze6

Yeah...I'm thinking if you have to lay low and bide your time while your "soulmate" is in a relationship, you missing out. I think people really don't know how to define a soulmate. It would hard for me to have peace with a man that entered my life already in a relationship. but to each it's own,

 

[Black Ambrosia]

Soulmates aren't perfect by virtue of being soulmates.

 

[LostInAdream]

Life is short and should be easy in the areas you can control. So if you meet someone and want to be with them do it! If they are in a relationship, let them know that is not your thing and to contact you when they are free. Cheating is for the birds and is too much drama. We can all change our minds at any time. A simple I've changed my mind goes a long way. People get hurt but it's better to rip the band-aid off early.

My first boyfriend taught me this. He told me after 9 months there was a girl he met at the same time as me and he wanted to explore that situation. I was devastated at 14 years old but it taught me it's never a right way or time to tell someone its over, and they'll live lol. Go for what you want but be honest.

I've been in relationships where I knew they weren't the one, but it was cool for the time being. As a young person, it was fine, but as a 30+ woman who knows what she wants, I don't play games.

 

[lesedi]

Breaking relationships up to claim your soul mate isn't it. Why would you want to start your relationship with that energy lingering around? If the connection is truly there, you won't need to be machiavellian and scheme, he would willingly leave his relationship in order to develop something with you, without you suggesting it beforehand.

I don't believe in girl code any more but I do believe that honesty is the real woman code.

 

[Lylddlebit]

Ah! The "you can't help who you fall in love with/soulmate" defense that is commonly used to justify or set the stage for infidelity. Why? Because if trading-in your dignity and self-respect for a man who isn't even yours (because he is claiming someone else)... then, surely, a cosmic, higher, irresistible and immeasurable force has to be what justifies what honor, logic and old fashioned common sense never would. You know, when foolishness tells someone that real love is an intangible/abstract feeling that can't be quantified or substantiated. It is very easy to confuse a soultie with a soul mate when someone is callous about sex.

 

[Evolving78]

Can people handle it, if a spouse or partner flat out told you, I’m leaving you for my soulmate? Can people accept that and allow their spouse to walk away?

 

[B_Phlyy]

Can people handle it, if a spouse or partner flat out told you, I’m leaving you for my soulmate? Can people accept that and allow their spouse to walk away?

Depending on their belief system regarding soulmates, probably not. But again, soulmates don't have to be of the opposite sex and you can have more than 1 in your life time.

Me personally, you can leave, just know you'll be paying alimony. Your soulmate can help if they want.

 

[THicknLong]

I believe we have soulmates.. One of my ex's is definitely my soulmate. This man worships the ground I walk on, we have the deepest connection. He is also a narcissist and I call him out on all his crap. We talk about the good and the bad, and have always been honest with each other. He had a girlfriend then married her and I set boundaries. She has the tendency to let him be a free bird!.. I said good for her.. I know myself and knew I could never accept the things she would allow him to do, so better her than me. Its so funny because every time my mom see's him, she lets him know about how well I am doing and he always says how shes his ex mother in law.. lol I will say he is always looking out for me, when it comes to investing or business ideas.

 

[syze6]

Can people handle it, if a spouse or partner flat out told you, I’m leaving you for my soulmate? Can people accept that and allow their spouse to walk away?

As hurtful as it might be, I'd rather my spouse tell me he wants to be with someone and walk away. I would choose that over lying and sneaking around behind my back any day.

A co worker of mine is involved with a married man. She is constantly in her feelings about him and his being not genuine to her, in and out. You can tell what type of space she is in with him by her social media outbursts. He seems to be one that deals with her when, he wants. He will go months without contact and pop right up with his still married status. She thinks its a connection...when she speaks it sounds more like sex to me. I'm thinking you are putting all this energy stressing over another woman's husband? Really...why???

 

[Evolving78]

Depending on their belief system regarding soulmates, probably not. But again, soulmates don't have to be of the opposite sex and you can have more than 1 in your life time.

Me personally, you can leave, just know you'll be paying alimony. Your soulmate can help if they want.

Oh I agree soulmates/twin flames may not be a romantic connection, and it’s not always a warm fuzzy feeling connection either. That person may come into one’s life to reveal something things that need to be worked on, resolved, or changed.
But as far as SOs are concerned I get you as far as the alimony, that’s why focus need to think real hard about what a vow/commitment to another person is really about. Like what are you really signing up for?

 

[Evolving78]

I believe we have soulmates.. One of my ex's is definitely my soulmate. This man worships the ground I walk on, we have the deepest connection. He is also a narcissist and I call him out on all his crap. We talk about the good and the bad, and have always been honest with each other. He had a girlfriend then married her and I set boundaries. She has the tendency to let him be a free bird!.. I said good for her.. I know myself and knew I could never accept the things she would allow him to do, so better her than me. Its so funny because every time my mom see's him, she lets him know about how well I am doing and he always says how shes his ex mother in law.. lol I will say he is always looking out for me, when it comes to investing or business ideas.

What you described sounds more like mirroring, enmeshment, or entanglement. That might not be the case for you, but what you said sounds what it’s like to be involved with a narcissist. He sticks around because of the energy he gets from you, hoping to wear you down enough to get you back fully in his grasp.

 

[B_Phlyy]

Oh I agree soulmates/twin flames may not be a romantic connection, and it’s not always a warm fuzzy feeling connection either. That person may come into one’s life to reveal something things that need to be worked on, resolved, or changed.
But as far as SOs are concerned I get you as far as the alimony, that’s why focus need to think real hard about what a vow/commitment to another person is really about. Like what are you really signing up for?

All of this. I could have a whole conversation about the differences between a soulmate/twin flame, being a bride or groom, and being a spouse/permanent life partner. A lot of people think they are all the same or a line of progression but they're not. I don't feel like a new thread though lol.

 

[SweetNic_JA]

Soulmates: overrated.

 

[THicknLong]

What you described sounds more like mirroring, enmeshment, or entanglement. That might not be the case for you, but what you said sounds what it’s like to be involved with a narcissist. He sticks around because of the energy he gets from you, hoping to wear you down enough to get you back fully in his grasp.

I also agree with you. A part of him won’t let go. The reason I say we are soul mates. Due to us having the same plans, same mindset in life on the direction we want to go in. I believe things changed when I walked away from him. I find that another reason why he’s drawn in. I also believe my current SO is also my soul mate.. there birthdays are a day apart. My SO is a better person in so many ways.. he is continuously teaching me things.

 

[dancinstallion]

Soulmates: overrated.

How is it overrated if someone is truly a perfect match/soul mate?

 

[NaturalEnigma]

Alicia Keys and Swiss Cheatz is a poor example because he is most likely cheating on Alicia too. I feel like karma is real and even if he doesn’t end up cheating on you like he did the last girlfriend there is some negative energy that needs to be displaced and I would hate to have that hovering over our relationship. There are plenty of guys who I would have liked to date but they were in a relationship and I didn’t have the heart to pursue them knowing I was breaking up a relationship. I would also be weary of him stepping outside the relationship even it was to date me. It just wouldn’t feel right. Thinking about it now none of these guys were my soulmate. If we are truly soulmates I would think God, the universe or whatever your belief system is would make it so that we are both single and available for each other. I think sometimes people’s desires overshadow their judgment and they don’t think of the ramifications of their actions or how it might affect others.

 

[SweetNic_JA]

How is it overrated if someone is truly a perfect match/soul mate?

Trust me on this one.

 

[Evolving78]

Alicia Keys and Swiss Cheatz is a poor example because he is most likely cheating on Alicia too. I feel like karma is real and even if he doesn’t end up cheating on you like he did the last girlfriend there is some negative energy that needs to be displaced and I would hate to have that hovering over our relationship. There are plenty of guys who I would have liked to date but they were in a relationship and I didn’t have the heart to pursue them knowing I was breaking up a relationship. I would also be weary of him stepping outside the relationship even it was to date me. It just wouldn’t feel right. Thinking about it now none of these guys were my soulmate. If we are truly soulmates I would think God, the universe or whatever your belief system is would make it so that we are both single and available for each other. I think sometimes people’s desires overshadow their judgment and they don’t think of the ramifications of their actions or how it might affect others.

Soul mate doesn’t stop someone from cheating. They are just someone that matches where you are internally, or vibrationally. Alicia Keys and Swizz seems to be perfectly matched.

 

[NaturalEnigma]

Soul mate doesn’t stop someone from cheating. They are just someone that matches where you are internally, or vibrationally. Alicia Keys and Swizz seems to be perfectly matched.

Having a soul mate doesn’t stop someone from cheating. I’m just against cheating and I would like my partner to have the same values as me. Doesn’t mean I can control a man from cheating on me. For some people cheating doesn’t seem like a big deal when you’re doing the cheating but when you’re getting cheated on it’s a whole nother story. That’s why I’m against it entirely. I beg to differ about Alicia Keys and Swizz Beats I don’t see them lasting, but everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

 

[Evolving78]

Having a soul mate doesn’t stop someone from cheating. I’m just against cheating and I would like my partner to have the same values as me. Doesn’t mean I can control a man from cheating on me. For some people cheating doesn’t seem like a big deal when you’re doing the cheating but when you’re getting cheated on it’s a whole nother story. That’s why I’m against it entirely. I beg to differ about Alicia Keys and Swizz Beats I don’t see them lasting, but everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

I agree on the cheating. But yeah getting involved with someone that holds the same values as you does not constitute them to be your soulmate. We have to really look into what the soul of a person is. Like what are their core beliefs. How do they truly feel about themselves, do they have healthy attachments to people, are they completely fulfilled, or are they looking for others to fill that void. Someone can be self-sufficient on the outside, but do they behave in such a manner to avoid being being rejected, or abandoned?
If the need is there, your soul will attract to someone who will fulfill what you lack in, or show you how you need to meet that need yourself. That’s why I said that couple you mentioned seemed perfectly matched. A soulmate could be a healthy person or a toxic. All of a sudden she changes how she dresses, she doesn’t want to wear makeup, her songs are even more terrible than they were before, etc.. lol I hope this makes sense.

 

[syze6]

For some people cheating doesn’t seem like a big deal when you’re doing the cheating but when you’re getting cheated on it’s a whole nother story. That’s why I’m against it entirely.

The ones who have been cheated on are the ones doing the most cheating. Once married folks are having affair with married folks. People in relationships who live together are cheating with others in relationships who live together. So many people are cheating. I agree...it's not for me. Now I have met men I vibe with and find attractive and all. The moment girlfriend and wife words were uttered, I was out like Bobby Brown! Could they have been my soul mate, I guess I will never know.

Yeah...I wouldn't want to start a relationship with someone I was cheating with. I would not trust him...period, How could you anyway. I think like someone said folks desires get ahead of them. I am not attracted to a cheater...period! I'm not built for the cheating world. I'm not the girl who you dip over to, spend time and share my body and thoughts with. Basically, my man at that time. Then when you leave to go home to the woman you have, I'm supposed to go about my day unbothered? Nope...I'm not built for that. It works for some and that's perfectly fine.

 

[syze6]

I agree on the cheating. But yeah getting involved with someone that holds the same values as you does not constitute them to be your soulmate. We have to really look into what the soul of a person is. Like what are their core beliefs. How do they truly feel about themselves, do they have healthy attachments to people, are they completely fulfilled, or are they looking for others to fill that void. Someone can be self-sufficient on the outside, but do they behave in such a manner to avoid being being rejected, or abandoned?
If the need is there, your soul will attract to someone who will fulfill what you lack in, or show you how you need to meet that need yourself. That’s why I said that couple you mentioned seemed perfectly matched. A soulmate could be a healthy person or a toxic. All of a sudden she changes how she dresses, she doesn’t want to wear makeup, her songs are even more terrible than they were before, etc.. lol I hope this makes sense.

Alicia seemed to have made good music prior to marrying him. Hell...even her songs eluding to cheating with him were hits. I don't know what happened once she married him.

 

[Evolving78]

Alicia seemed to have made good music prior to marrying him. Hell...even her songs eluding to cheating with him were hits. I don't know what happened once she married him.

That first album was decent. She had two nice hits after that.