SO's family... is a hot ghetto mess..

[Britt]

Ok...
I have not met my SO's family yet.. and honestly, I'm apprehensive about meeting them, b/c from what he tells me, they are . He's always mentioned that they are bugged out but never really got into specifics. What sparked it all was a Youtube clip I showed him of Frankie... as he watched her he goes "oh, she's like my aunt Parniece"... my jaw dropped, my face turned to erplexed erplexed . His reaction to watching Frankie was one of familiarity, b/c he has people like that in his family.

Then he starts telling me which is the tip of the iceberg, things about his family... He's always said "they are bugged out"... but I can *only imagine* that they are all a train wreck... I am nervous about meeting them . I think they will think I'm a little prissy thing and he agreed that they'd prob think that.

I am going to refrain from some of things he's told me about his family. I myself come from a pretty 'out there' family w/ some dysfunctionality to it ... but his... I haven't even met them yet and I can only imagine

I've met his mom and dad, and the mom is a little ..

He'd like me to go to a family function if they have one, I told him I'm scared and he doesn't understand why.

I'm glad that he is normal and very level headed... but he's said if we get married there can be no alcohol at the wedding b/c they will act a fool.

I guess my question is, are any of you married or in relationships where your SO or DH's family is a hot ghetto mess? Do you just keep the family member's at bay? How was your initial meeting w/ them?

 

[NYAmicas]

.

I guess my question is, are any of you married or in relationships where your SO or DH's family is a hot ghetto mess? Do you just keep the family member's at bay? How was your initial meeting w/ them?

Heck, yeah. Dh's family were just tore up. I remember going to a Thanksgiving dinner and their memories had me looking like nono:. And yes, I saw it from jump street. I could only be happy that he rose above their limited mindset.

 

[Britt]

Heck, yeah. Dh's family were just tore up. I remember going to a Thanksgiving dinner and their memories had me looking like nono:. And yes, I saw it from jump street. I could only be happy that he rose above their limited mindset.

Oh yes..... SO knows that they are a mess. I'm just apprehensive about meeting them. My 5 minute encounter w/ his mom left a real sour taste in my mouth.

 

[brownbeauty196]

Please me and my Dh family have very little contact, very little! And believe me it works well this way cauuse I have very little patience for foolishness. But you never know maybe youy SO family won't be that bad

 

[DarkHair]

*clears throat* DH's family can be sane, but when they get likka'd up....my jaw drops and I'm ready to go.

Your SO's family may talk about you, but you aren't there for them, you're there for HIM. Just make sure he's with you most of the time.

 

[Britt]

Thanks for the advice..
I am still apprehensive about meeting them.. I know I will be in my head... but damn.... I agree, he'd have to stay by my side for the most part lol.

 

[sunflower]

I cannot believe I'm going to say this. My DH comes from a family of functioning alcoholics. However, they have nothing on my family. My family is down right country. The first family BBQ that my husband attended my uncle offered my husband coon. Yes, he offered him BBQ raccoon and had the nerve to cook the damn thing with the tail still on it. I thought I was going to die. My husband had a look on his face that I will never forget. We actually debate over which side of the family is the most messed up. My husband side is the preppy, white folks who love to drink. These people start drinking at 1pm sharp. Once they start drinking you never know what they will say. I had to check my father in law once. When he gets drunk he likes to run off at the mouth. I let him know that I am not the one. He may be able to do that with his children but not me. I think you should go with the flow and meet them. You never know, they might not be as bad as you think.

 

[Britt]

I will go and meet them ... I might just enjoy it...

 

[~VicTorIAn~]

From your siggy and your post it seems like you'd be entertained by them. People dont have to behave the same way to have fun around each other. You should go to their function with an open mind. You may really enjoy it.

 

[mscocoface]

Well I will just say this. If you ever get married do what I did. Have your wedding early in the morning like 10:30 so you won't have anyone looking at you side eye wondering where are the drinks. Believe it or not our food cost was cheaper because we were doing more of a brunch than a full dinner menu.

We used sparking cider grape and apple, orange juice (no mimosas) and sodas.

And don't you know I had one uncle ticked off because there was no alcohol?? (he is a Pastor!!!) I told him in my so ever sweet voice, "Uncle we could not have strong drink at the wedding because we did not want to give temptation to those who are recovering alcoholics who attended the wedding! I gave him the loook and he said, Oh okay, I understand.

Needless to say my uncle was one of the ones we were trying to keep sober during the whole event.


Geesh, family can be a serious trip!!!

 

[Britt]

I think I'd just have to face the fact that if we get married, they will act a fool probably at the reception. I'd have to have alcohol at the wedding .

 

[mrsjohnson75]

My family is what some may call a "mess" (not alcoholics but some people do drink :fat:, not drug addicts but some do smoke , curse , dance , can be loud , etc) and Dh loves it because his family tries to hide their mess and act all prim and proper....so they come off as fake and boring. I love my family!!!!!!!!!! They just love to have fun

We just had a reunion this past weekend and he had a blast.

 

[nysister]

OOOoohhhh Have fun. I've been married 10 years. Hubby is the normal one.

Learn to smile a lot, have patience while tolerating no disrespect and when all else fails help them understand that you are a "loner" and don't really enjoy conversing with people. If nothing else it will get you some peace and quiet.

 

[DarkHair]

I think I'd just have to face the fact that if we get married, they will act a fool probably at the reception. I'd have to have alcohol at the wedding .

You don't have to have alcohol, but trust, if they are as bad as you say they are, they'll be serving it out the trunks of their cars....I've seen it happen,especially at funerals.

 

[Makenzie]

I dated a dude with a ghetto family that I did NOT find funny. They were trifling, trifling, trifling. I am so happy the relationship did not work out.

 

[cicilypayne]

Keep an open mind when you meet them and try to sound less apprehensive around your honey..you don't want him to think you got your nose up in the air before you've given them a chance..and if you can, without sounding like a Huge liar..tell him afterwards "they are not so bad". Trust me, it good to start off with a high opinion of his family and if necessary progress to a lower opinion, you don't want to come off wrong. Plus he can think they are a bunch of cheese heads, call them the funky bunch, but you should save any bad thoughts about them for us board members or your girlfriends. Believe me I'm only saving you from a future argument. Be bright, warm, receptive and cheerful and no matter what try not to think here comes the freakshow..just think how liberated they must feel to let it all hang out. lol.

 

[sunnydaze]

I cannot believe I'm going to say this. My DH comes from a family of functioning alcoholics. However, they have nothing on my family. My family is down right country. The first family BBQ that my husband attended my uncle offered my husband coon. Yes, he offered him BBQ raccoon and had the nerve to cook the damn thing with the tail still on it. I thought I was going to die. My husband had a look on his face that I will never forget. We actually debate over which side of the family is the most messed up. My husband side is the preppy, white folks who love to drink. These people start drinking at 1pm sharp. Once they start drinking you never know what they will say. I had to check my father in law once. When he gets drunk he likes to run off at the mouth. I let him know that I am not the one. He may be able to do that with his children but not me. I think you should go with the flow and meet them. You never know, they might not be as bad as you think.

OMG...................

 

[Farida]

Keep an open mind when you meet them.

Then later on assess whether you want to raise kids around folk like those. In all seriousness.

You don't realize how serious family is until you marry. No joke.

 

[Country gal]

I have a ghetto family and so does he. Both of the ghetto side is on our father's side. His family seems really sweet but a couple of the cousins had me a little scared. Just go with the flow and make sure u interact with them. If u don't than they will think you are too stuck up and it will cause more problems down the road.

 

[Britt]

Keep an open mind when you meet them and try to sound less apprehensive around your honey..you don't want him to think you got your nose up in the air before you've given them a chance..and if you can, without sounding like a Huge liar..tell him afterwards "they are not so bad". Trust me, it good to start off with a high opinion of his family and if necessary progress to a lower opinion, you don't want to come off wrong. Plus he can think they are a bunch of cheese heads, call them the funky bunch, but you should save any bad thoughts about them for us board members or your girlfriends. Believe me I'm only saving you from a future argument. Be bright, warm, receptive and cheerful and no matter what try not to think here comes the freakshow..just think how liberated they must feel to let it all hang out. lol.

I will def keep this in mind whenever I meet them
I'm still scared as hellll ... and it's not b/c I'm bougie, b/c I def don't come from a really classy family, but the things he's just mentioned to me about those m o f o s have me

 

[Butterfly08]

I will def keep this in mind whenever I meet them
I'm still scared as hellll ... and it's not b/c I'm bougie, b/c I def don't come from a really classy family, but the things he's just mentioned to me about those m o f o s have me

Please let us know how it goes!