Some Black Men are Hypocrites When It Comes to IR

M

metamorfhosis

New Member
Hi-

I live in a small town. I am not a flirting person so only a couple of men have tried to step to me since moving there. Well, a white man has found me attractive. He wants me to go out with him. I don't know what he is saying about me to his friends or other guys. Now the black men act mad at me. Like I can be at the gym and if I am on a machine beside a black man, they immediately get up a leave.

Why is it that black men can date all the white women they want? But yet let us get involved with a white guy---not even a date and yet they are mad. But yet they wouldn't speak to me or ask me out. I think that is hypocritical!!! :ohwell:

Have you ever experienced this? Or do you have any thoughts about this
scenario?
 
It is not just Black men that are hypocrites...

Why do you care what other people think? If you do you will never live your own life making your own decisions.
 
This must be a really small town. Just do you. Some people are hypocrites. That is their ignorant issue. Good luck.
 
RocStar said:
It is not just Black men that are hypocrites...

Why do you care what other people think? If you do you will never live your own life making your own decisions.
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IF I get involved with the white guy in question and he is a good man, trust me, I won't care what ANYONE thinks. And I won't have a problem with the looks either.
 
In any given group, there is a sense of ownership.It's actually instinctive and goes back to our primitive days. Having a sense of ownership ensures the group survives so essentially this instinctive behavior is still present today. The thing is, this instinct isn't really needed today like it was years ago but is still there. I know black women who feel that the black race is in trouble because so many black men are marrying and having children by white women but come on. Is this really happening? Are we as a race lingering on extinction? White men felt the same way at the turn of the century so much so they introduced Jim Crow Laws to keep blacks and whites separate but we all know it was to keep black men and black women apart. They feared the white race would be in trouble and tainted with inferior blood but are white people nearly extinct? No, we are all alive, well and kicking!

Now you could also look at this from a psychological perspective. Why would you care about what someone else in your group does? Insecurity of course. When you are secure with who you are and secure with things around you, believe me, you won't give a crap about what someone else is doing! Insecurity then breeds manipulation. As long as you can manipulate someone you will always have power over them because power fuels a sense of security for people!

Catch my drift?
 
I think you guys are being too hard on the OP. Many black men trip when black women IR date regardless of whether it's a small town or a big city and regardless of who they're dating. On more then a few occasions I've had black men threaten my dates so it's not just about noticing it and it sure isn't about being insecure.

OP, of course you need to just do you and roll with it. Hope it works out well for you.
 
OP, i have yet to figure that out. i think it has to do with being territorial. like they don't want us, but nobody can have us either.
 
ambergirl said:
I think you guys are being too hard on the OP. Many black men trip when black women IR date regardless of whether it's a small town or a big city and regardless of who they're dating. On more then a few occasions I've had black men threaten my dates so it's not just about noticing it and it sure isn't about being insecure.

OP, of course you need to just do you and roll with it. Hope it works out well for you.
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Yep............. :yep:
 
ambergirl said:
I think you guys are being too hard on the OP. Many black men trip when black women IR date regardless of whether it's a small town or a big city and regardless of who they're dating. On more then a few occasions I've had black men threaten my dates so it's not just about noticing it and it sure isn't about being insecure.

OP, of course you need to just do you and roll with it. Hope it works out well for you.
Click to expand...


I think it is insecurity. Insecurity breeds manipulation. And as long as you can manipulate someone they will always be under your spell. I don't want to turn this into a whole different thread but look at how black men have black women behaving. We stick by their side knowing we shouldn't,when we interracially date we have to question ourselves and each other. We literally lower our standards to be with them. It's a whacked relationship but they have us where they want us!
 
ambergirl said:
I think you guys are being too hard on the OP. Many black men trip when black women IR date regardless of whether it's a small town or a big city and regardless of who they're dating.
Click to expand...


How are we being hard by saying everyone is a hypocrite? Same way you have burnt souls when a BM is with a WW. Same ish

Since those dudes never gave oP time of day, she needs to ignore them. whether they move away shouldnt concern. Personally I hate when people are too close when Im doing cardio..I leave at leats one space btw machines.

In other words, dont let them get to you OP.
 
Just make sure the white guy really likes you. I have been asked out by white guys only to find out that on the first date(this is before I got married ya'll).. he would be all over me. When I wouldn't put out, I would never see him again. A lot of white guys are curious ya'll. Don't be their test subject. Be sure.!
 
Kinky4Agirl said:
Just make sure the white guy really likes you. I have been asked out by white guys only to find out that on the first date(this is before I got married ya'll).. he would be all over me. When I wouldn't put out, I would never see him again. A lot of white guys are curious ya'll. Don't be their test subject. Be sure.!
Click to expand...

Ddon't be a test for any man. Posts like these imply that it's better to be used by a black man.:ohwell:
 
ambergirl said:
I think you guys are being too hard on the OP. Many black men trip when black women IR date regardless of whether it's a small town or a big city and regardless of who they're dating. On more then a few occasions I've had black men threaten my dates so it's not just about noticing it and it sure isn't about being insecure.

OP, of course you need to just do you and roll with it. Hope it works out well for you.
Click to expand...

I'm going to have to co-sign as well. :yep:

ETA
Basically all you can do is live your life and try not to let other people get to you.

But to be fair; there are some BM who feel the need to tell DH to treat me like the nubian queen that I am. :lol: So, we've gotten both hostility and kindness.

But usually if anyone steps to DH he will step right back regardless. He doesn't play.
 
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Brighteyes35 said:
I think it is insecurity. Insecurity breeds manipulation. And as long as you can manipulate someone they will always be under your spell. I don't want to turn this into a whole different thread but look at how black men have black women behaving. We stick by their side knowing we shouldn't,when we interracially date we have to question ourselves and each other. We literally lower our standards to be with them. It's a whacked relationship but they have us where they want us!
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Speak for yourself.
 
Kinky4Agirl said:
Just make sure the white guy really likes you. I have been asked out by white guys only to find out that on the first date(this is before I got married ya'll).. he would be all over me. When I wouldn't put out, I would never see him again. A lot of white guys are curious ya'll. Don't be their test subject. Be sure.!
Click to expand...
It's not like BM don't do the same thing.:look: I don't think race has anything to do with it.
 
Lmao. why are people caping?

There are BM who who wnat to try out a BW for the first time? The word "curious' should have shown the difference between the two scenarios. Ugh
 
So true! I was on a date with a guy. Somehow ice tee and coco came up in conversation (I know :look: I don't know :look:) Anyway, he kinda smugly mentions he doesn't discriminate with race & has dated white women before.

I think he expected me to react differently because when I said I'm the same way & that, infact, my longest relationship was with a white man... there was a quick look of surprise, then offense on his face. He caught it & wiped it off, but not before I noticed :lol:

Straight hypocrite.
 
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Brighteyes35 said:
I think it is insecurity. Insecurity breeds manipulation. And as long as you can manipulate someone they will always be under your spell. I don't want to turn this into a whole different thread but look at how black men have black women behaving. We stick by their side knowing we shouldn't,when we interracially date we have to question ourselves and each other. We literally lower our standards to be with them. It's a whacked relationship but they have us where they want us!
Click to expand...

I don't know if you IR date or not, or where you live, but when you have random black dudes coming up to you and saying you walk funny because you sleep with a white guy, start a fight with your man at a club, front him on the street and start calling him names that's not about insecurity. I've either had these things happen to me or seen them.

I'm not going to stop IR dating but I'm also not going to internalize other people's hate and insecurity because their reactions are not about me.
 
It's true for some. I have an ex who is Cape Verdean- white Portuguese mom and black African dad. This dude told me he was upset when he found out I was dated a white guy. I asked him, what about the Dominican girl he just dated or the fact that HE is biracial. He said 'I know, it doesn't make sense but I don't like when black women date white men.' :look: That's just the way it is, I guess...

I say don't let it bother you. It's nobodies business and I'm assuming you don't even know these people.
 
Who gives a damn. Date whoever the hell you want. Now if you live in as small a town as you described just go to the next town over if you and yt don't work out. LOL Don't limit yourself to darkness thereafter.
 
:lachen:...I use to witness this with happen to my sister back in high school. When the black guys (who were notorious for dating white girls) discovered my sister had a white bf, they went off about it. Saying "oh we aren't good enough for you" n crap. Yet was slobbing down Becky after school.
 
Not surprised by these stories. I dated a Nigerian guy around 2008, we were talking on the phone and then I told him my ex was white, his tone changed :-/.
 
Because white men have everything in the world. Black women were the one area that black men thought they had on lock.

It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. Most of the time those black men wouldn't even give the black woman the time of day but let her be with a white man and suddenly he's all upset? His ego got bruised.
 
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MizAvalon said:
Because white men have everything in the world. Black women were the one area that black men thought they had on lock.

It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. Most of the time those black men wouldn't even give the black woman the time of day but let her be with a white man and suddenly he's all upset? His ego got bruised.
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That's why I laugh at some of these BM who are doing their own version of the "Jill Scott wince/soul-burning" in regards to the increase of BW in IR rlsps.

If a woman acts/believes like she has no options and a man believes she has no options then she usually gets taken for granted and/or treated like ish.

This applies on an individual and group level. Whether you date outside you race or not.

However in regards to this topic, I think in the States especially, segments of BM for a long time were very comfortable with being able to expand their options while knowing that majority of BW were reluctant to do so. Majority of the BM I know in the States and Europe happily married to BW and knew they were going to marry BW still explored their datings options with other races (some casually and some seriously) before settling down.
 
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