So Your Brother Shoots You In The Eye......

Would You Forgive Your Brother For Shooting You 5 times?

  • Yes.

  • No.


Results are only viewable after voting.
Forgiveness doesn’t equal forgetting, reconciling, remaining in contact etc. Nope.
What benefit is there to forgive somebody who "you" still side eye to the point where reconciling isn't an option? If I have an inkling that somebody who wronged me would do the same thing over again or worse if it meant there were no repercussions, or someone who repeated a hurtful behavior, I just wonder how forgiving actually helps me? I'd feel stupid while they off somewhere basking in being a terrible person.

Forgivess was meant to be absolute and then you forget they even offended you in the first place. If I'm being a good Christian, in her situation I would make peace but keep my distance because his spirit is toxic and we are encouraged to love from a distance when necessary.
I was taught the same, and that if you didn't then you weren't being a good Christian. Over time, I learnt that you can't 'wipe the slate clean' for some people. If they hurt you, and you 'forget' they'll come right back and hurt you all over again, if you let them.

Christianity tends to imply that sinners are owed forgiveness. Forgiveness is a burden placed on the wronged person and it's implied that you curse yourself by not forgiving. That's why I completely reject the notion that not forgiving makes people sick. That is a scare tactic to force people who have been victimized into not acting on their impulses.
 
Religion has brainwashed us into thinking this way. :look: Depending on the offense, I ain't NEVA forgiving!

Also, forced forgiveness re-victimizes and teaches people that they aren't allowed to have boundaries . . .I reject that.
I got a real problem with the concept of blanket forgiveness. I'm not mad at the OP for forgiving her brother, it's her eye and her prerogative. What I'm extremely iffy about is the concept that everything can and should be forgiven.
 
Something that I didn't say but will now is that if that woman lets her brother stay with her when he gets out of jail, he's going to kill her and probably her child.

This story is not identical but it is adjacent.

Man Deemed Too Old to Be a Threat Fatally Stabs Woman — the Same Way He Murdered Wife 40 Years Ago

77-year-old Maine man has been convicted of the stabbing death of a woman, which is the second time in four decades he has been found guilty of such a crime.

Albert Flick was convicted Wednesday of stabbing a woman 11 times in front of her twin boys in a broad daylight attack in 2018.

The fatal attack was the second committed by Flick, who previously served 25 years behind bars for the 1979 stabbing murder of his then-wife, also in front of children — their’s and his wife’s young daughter from a previous relationship, reports WCSH, WGME and the Sun Journal.

The latest killing came just a few years after he was released from jail for assaulting yet another woman. In that case, a judge had rejected the prosecutor’s urging for a lengthy sentence, stating that Flick’s age — he was then in his late 60s — diminished him as a threat and did not warrant a long incarceration, reports the Associated Press.

According to the AP, Flick was released and moved in 2014 to Lewiston, Maine, where prosecutors say he grew infatuated with 48-year-old Kimberly Dobbie.

Dobbie and her twin 11-year-old sons were homeless and moved between the Hope Haven Gospel Mission shelter and locations in Lewiston such as the library and bus stop. Each time Flick followed, and he even ate at the shelter to be closer to her, according to witness testimony, reports the Sun Journal.

“Everyone wants to paint Mr. Flick as a creeper and in the aftermath in this incident, but again you have to consider in spite of all this ‘creepiness,’ I asked a number of people, was there ever a complaint?,” Flick’s attorney, Allen Lobozzo, said in Androscoggin County Superior Court in Auburn, according to WCSH.

“Was there ever a complaint to police of him following her around? The answer was no.”

Yet on the morning of July 15, 2018, Dobbie was seated on the steps outside of a laundromat near her sons when Flick attacked.

She died from blood loss after one of the wounds cut the left ventricle of her heart, and another fractured a rib and pierced her right lung, according to testimony from Maine’s deputy chief medical examiner, reports the Sun Journal.

At Flick’s two-day trial, jurors who watched surveillance video that captured the attack also saw video that showed Flick purchasing two pink-handled paring knives with 5-inch blades at the local Walmart two days earlier, according to the outlet.

“The obsession became, if ‘I can’t have her, I will kill her’ and that’s exactly what he did,” Assistant Attorney General Robert Ellis said during his closet argument, reports WCSH.

An obituary notice memorialized the victim, stating, “People who knew Kim loved her for her kind and gentle spirit. She had a ready smile and a quick wit, and she befriended everyone she met. Kim loved the beach, and Christmas was her favorite season. Her twin sons were her greatest joy.”

The horror of what the two boys witnessed that day is something Elsie Kimball, the daughter of his first victim Sandra Flick, sadly knows all too well.

Kimball, then 12, was home the day her stepfather came over to get his things after her mother served him with divorce papers.

“I remember being behind the door in the bedroom when he knocked — because I didn’t want him to know [I was home],” she told News Center Maine “I remember my mother screaming my name and me running out the door.”

Flick stabbed his estranged wife more than a dozen times.

Kimball believes that Dobbie could have been saved and her boys spared the pain that Kimball has lived with.

“They will spend the rest of their lives second-guessing and questioning themselves. ‘If I had tried to defend her instead of running, would she be alive?'” she told News Center Maine.

“I would like to just see [everyone involved] in a line and stand there and tell [Dobbie’s] boys, explain to them how this man was on the streets and how it’s okay,” she said. “How the law makes it alright for their mom to now be gone and for them to have to witness it.”

Sentencing for Flick was set for August 9. He faces 25 years to life.
 
Electric chair at this point.


Something that I didn't say but will now is that if that woman lets her brother stay with her when he gets out of jail, he's going to kill her and probably her child.

This story is not identical but it is adjacent.

Man Deemed Too Old to Be a Threat Fatally Stabs Woman — the Same Way He Murdered Wife 40 Years Ago

77-year-old Maine man has been convicted of the stabbing death of a woman, which is the second time in four decades he has been found guilty of such a crime.

Albert Flick was convicted Wednesday of stabbing a woman 11 times in front of her twin boys in a broad daylight attack in 2018.

The fatal attack was the second committed by Flick, who previously served 25 years behind bars for the 1979 stabbing murder of his then-wife, also in front of children — their’s and his wife’s young daughter from a previous relationship, reports WCSH, WGME and the Sun Journal.

The latest killing came just a few years after he was released from jail for assaulting yet another woman. In that case, a judge had rejected the prosecutor’s urging for a lengthy sentence, stating that Flick’s age — he was then in his late 60s — diminished him as a threat and did not warrant a long incarceration, reports the Associated Press.

According to the AP, Flick was released and moved in 2014 to Lewiston, Maine, where prosecutors say he grew infatuated with 48-year-old Kimberly Dobbie.

Dobbie and her twin 11-year-old sons were homeless and moved between the Hope Haven Gospel Mission shelter and locations in Lewiston such as the library and bus stop. Each time Flick followed, and he even ate at the shelter to be closer to her, according to witness testimony, reports the Sun Journal.

“Everyone wants to paint Mr. Flick as a creeper and in the aftermath in this incident, but again you have to consider in spite of all this ‘creepiness,’ I asked a number of people, was there ever a complaint?,” Flick’s attorney, Allen Lobozzo, said in Androscoggin County Superior Court in Auburn, according to WCSH.

“Was there ever a complaint to police of him following her around? The answer was no.”

Yet on the morning of July 15, 2018, Dobbie was seated on the steps outside of a laundromat near her sons when Flick attacked.

She died from blood loss after one of the wounds cut the left ventricle of her heart, and another fractured a rib and pierced her right lung, according to testimony from Maine’s deputy chief medical examiner, reports the Sun Journal.

At Flick’s two-day trial, jurors who watched surveillance video that captured the attack also saw video that showed Flick purchasing two pink-handled paring knives with 5-inch blades at the local Walmart two days earlier, according to the outlet.

“The obsession became, if ‘I can’t have her, I will kill her’ and that’s exactly what he did,” Assistant Attorney General Robert Ellis said during his closet argument, reports WCSH.

An obituary notice memorialized the victim, stating, “People who knew Kim loved her for her kind and gentle spirit. She had a ready smile and a quick wit, and she befriended everyone she met. Kim loved the beach, and Christmas was her favorite season. Her twin sons were her greatest joy.”

The horror of what the two boys witnessed that day is something Elsie Kimball, the daughter of his first victim Sandra Flick, sadly knows all too well.

Kimball, then 12, was home the day her stepfather came over to get his things after her mother served him with divorce papers.

“I remember being behind the door in the bedroom when he knocked — because I didn’t want him to know [I was home],” she told News Center Maine “I remember my mother screaming my name and me running out the door.”

Flick stabbed his estranged wife more than a dozen times.

Kimball believes that Dobbie could have been saved and her boys spared the pain that Kimball has lived with.

“They will spend the rest of their lives second-guessing and questioning themselves. ‘If I had tried to defend her instead of running, would she be alive?'” she told News Center Maine.

“I would like to just see [everyone involved] in a line and stand there and tell [Dobbie’s] boys, explain to them how this man was on the streets and how it’s okay,” she said. “How the law makes it alright for their mom to now be gone and for them to have to witness it.”

Sentencing for Flick was set for August 9. He faces 25 years to life.
 
What benefit is there to forgive somebody who "you" still side eye to the point where reconciling isn't an option? If I have an inkling that somebody who wronged me would do the same thing over again or worse if it meant there were no repercussions, or someone who repeated a hurtful behavior, I just wonder how forgiving actually helps me? I'd feel stupid while they off somewhere basking in being a terrible person.




Christianity tends to imply that sinners are owed forgiveness. Forgiveness is a burden placed on the wronged person and it's implied that you curse yourself by not forgiving. That's why I completely reject the notion that not forgiving makes people sick. That is a scare tactic to force people who have been victimized into not acting on their impulses.
For me forgiveness in that respect simply means I no longer hold ill-will towards that person. I may never want to see that person ever again but at the same time I am not holding voodoo dolls with the person’s face on it. Basically I no longer pay that person any mind. Because thinking of a person just takes up real estate in your mind and heart.

But even that type in forgiveness I would only reserve for certain people. Certain things, honestly, especially if the offender doesn’t or cannot make amends. No forgiveness for me. Rape me, kill my kid, beat or whatever nope. Nope. You don’t get forgiveness from me and a pox on you and your household. LOL
 
Is this the same man? Isn’t he borderline right wing/ white supremacist? Most of his supporters are.

https://amp.theguardian.com/science...he-rightwing-professor-who-hit-a-hornets-nest




It really is something. You can move on, release the anger, etc., but forgive to the point of looking after him? And I agree with @Reinventing21 she will need therapy to put both herself and her son’s health, wellbeing, and safety first. Both tragedy and malevolence were visited upon her and by her own brother. Forgiving, being kind and sweet, are the only tools she probably had available to her. And like someone said her family probably pressured her as well. My heart breaks for her and I really hope nothing close to this ever happens to her again.

Jordan B. Peterson, a Canadian therapist, professor, author, YouTuber, etc. talks a lot about tragedy and malevolence and he says the only answer to this is to face the dragon/monster head on and put a piece of it in you, enough to understand the world and be a able to protect yourself, but not so much that it overtakes you. You have to have something scary enough in you that wards off evil, makes it think twice, and the wisdom to withstand life’s inevitable tragedies.
 
Is this the same man? Isn’t he borderline right wing/ white supremacist? Most of his supporters are.

https://amp.theguardian.com/science...he-rightwing-professor-who-hit-a-hornets-nest

Yes, that’s him. But he’s also brilliant. My life got better when I learned to take what I needed from smart people and leave the rest. He has tons of thought provoking videos online that are in no way racist but life lessons on dealing with the inevitable difficulties of life.
 
Yes, that’s him. But he’s also brilliant. My life got better when I learned to take what I needed from smart people and leave the rest. He has tons of thought provoking videos online that are in no way racist but life lessons on dealing with the inevitable difficulties of life.
I thought I recognised his name, I vaguely recall the cancellation of a lecture he was to give in a uni after protests were made. I agree he is highly intelligent but he is polarising & appears to have huge numbers of extreme right wing & misogynistic supporters who allegedly send death threats to people who criticise him. Thanks for the clarification.
 
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