So, we broke up.

[Vinyl]

Well, some of you probably remember me posting a thread (http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=248845) about my boyfriend/the roommate situation. We never went on break (I talked it over with him and we thought there was a better solution; mainly, he told me he only wanted to live with other people because I was going to move out to live in dorms, so I told him I wouldn't move out.), but now we're broken up. I left him because he just didn't seem to want to put any effort into saving the relationship.

What happened was; we decided on living together alone, he told his best friend etc. Then his best friend called him and said he'd been searching around, and offered him a deal on a bigger and cheaper place, and he took it. I explained to him that it was unfair to me to have to move to another state in order to be with him, but not live with him once we got there.

I don't understand why, after four years, he would just let things end like this. It's mind-baffling to me. I would think that we could try to work things out or come to an understanding, but he wasn't open to compromise. I just don't understand why... I thought we had more than that.

I'm writing here because I just don't understand, and he's not speaking to me so I guess I'll never have my answers. When I did talk to him about it, he would only mention that not moving in with his friend would entail him being a dick to his friend. He didn't seem to care about how all this made me feel... I just don't understand why he'd act that way after four years.

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

I am so sorry you gotta deal with this BS, but, fa real, he's a punk. Straight up. I've read your other thread, and it took you a year to convince him, then all of a sudden, his friend and his friend's girl come along just like that, and he goes for it? Das a straight up b__ch move. You did the right thing....trust. Now, he's not speaking to you, not returning your calls....let that bama go on bout his bidness. Them three deserve each other. Besides, you don't need that kind of drama in college no way. The living arrangements alone are scary, and you REALLY don't know peeps until you live with them.

Moving is a big decision and a pain in the a$$. He knew all along he didn't want the both of you to share a place because he knew he wasn't man enough to handle the responsibiities. He kept you parked on Promise Street for a whole year, knowing he didn't want to do that, but wasn't man enough to tell you. You may not see it now, but maybe later you'll see what I'm talking about. Never compromise yourself for nobody and always be true to yourself.

I don't understand why people always have to play with people's emotions, rather than be straight up. Excuse the anger, but I have a daughter who will be starting college soon. Let her call me with some ole ill na na bulls___ about some bama.....she know how her momma roll.....take care of yourself sista and stand strong.

 

[MizzBrown]

SMDH I hate men. I should've just been gay.

 

[MissRissa]

SMDH I hate men. I should've just been gay.

im feeling this sentiment.

 

[Keen]

SMDH I hate men. I should've just been gay.

Be careful what you wish for. The grass may not be greener on the other side.

 

[lexi08]

I am so sorry you gotta deal with this BS, but, fa real, he's a punk. Straight up. I've read your other thread, and it took you a year to convince him, then all of a sudden, his friend and his friend's girl come along just like that, and he goes for it? Das a straight up b__ch move. You did the right thing....trust. Now, he's not speaking to you, not returning your calls....let that bama go on bout his bidness. Them three deserve each other. Besides, you don't need that kind of drama in college no way. The living arrangements alone are scary, and you REALLY don't know peeps until you live with them.

Moving is a big decision and a pain in the a$$. He knew all along he didn't want the both of you to share a place because he knew he wasn't man enough to handle the responsibiities. He kept you parked on Promise Street for a whole year, knowing he didn't want to do that, but wasn't man enough to tell you. You may not see it now, but maybe later you'll see what I'm talking about. Never compromise yourself for nobody and always be true to yourself.

I don't understand why people always have to play with people's emotions, rather than be straight up. Excuse the anger, but I have a daughter who will be starting college soon. Let her call me with some ole ill na na bulls___ about some bama.....she know how her momma roll.....take care of yourself sista and stand strong.

I could not have said it any better. I am a mom too, I have a son in college. I was trying to talk to a young woman a while ago about some punk arse MF that was stringing her along.

OP i know you are hurt, but focus on taking care of yourself and finishing school Years from now you will think about this situation and wonder WTF was I thinking. Good luck to you.

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

Niki...that should be a new thread...seriously. Why do men string women along..u know, say one thing then do another....or "he's just not that into you"..or something like that...

 

[LadyCee]

SMDH I hate men. I should've just been gay.

lol ahaha i c alot of ppl doin dis! but i hate guys too!!!!

 

[carcajada]

At least you found out he wasn't really feeling you how you thought he should now instead of finding out after moving in with him. He basically wasted your time you could have spent with someone else.

Niki...that should be a new thread...seriously. Why do men string women along..u know, say one thing then do another....or "he's just not that into you"..or something like that...

Because women let them.

 

[Angelicus]

DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD!
Which old witch?
THE WICKED WITCH!!!

Good riddance to him and don't let him back in your life. Sheesh. He's gay as hell.

 

[Vinyl]

There's a part of me that feels happy at the thought of us working things out again. I don't like feeling happy for that reason... I want to completely get rid of that thought process, because I know that if I don't, I'll have to go through pain all over again when I realize it really is over, and it really is for good.

I've tried to make myself feel sad and tell myself this, but it's hard. My mind just won't go there right now.

(I talked to him on the phone earlier and he said "I'll talk to you tomorrow," although I suspect he was lying since he's been ignoring me.)

 

[Lenee925]

Hello Dreamer, since this is a public forum and I've been through a situation similar to yours. I'll go ahead and comment. Hope you don't mind.

1. This will hurt. Bad.
2. If your profile is correct you're 18 and you've been with this guy 4 years. Sounds like a regular case of "getting rid of my highschool gf for college a__" to me.
3. You were right to leave him. Before you try to trap him or do some other crazy thing to keep a man that doesn't want to be kept, remember this.
4. People in general are polite and don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. This goes along with why your bf isn't admitting what he really feels. The roommate thing is a very convenient excuse.
5. He's young and doesn't deserve you in the least. Well, definately not right now. Who's knows what the future holds? You may get back together, you may not. I would suggest you focus on the maybe not for your own sanity.
6.You will get over this. I promise. No matter what, let him call the plays in any future convo you may have, and keep a cool head while you're talking to him. Cry your heart out and eat ice cream afterward. Then, get over him as soon as you are able to.
7. Going off to college right? Girl, you are about to come into your real self. I can guarantee that you will not be the same person in a few years, heck maybe even one year of college. Hope this helps.

 

[BrooklynSouth]

Dreamer..trust your instincts, your female intuition..it'll save you from a lot of heartbreak in the future if you only listen and heed the warnings. Your guy turned on you from the start by bringing others into your proposed live-in situation...he was not ready for all a committed relationship live together relationship involved--in future live with women only or live alone..then live with your future husband once you've said I DO. You have years to go and many more men to meet and know..this aint the end..it's a fresh, new beginning for a young woman who has learned a lot..Be Happy, keep on being happy..