SO is touchy feely......

[bluediamond0829]

Ladies with a SO or DH when the both of you first started out as far as dating was he very touchy feely or mushy. What I mean is was he like baby this, sweetie this and apologetic for everything(well not really everything)---but most of stuff that is uncontrollable.....

If i tell him that I sat out on the plane for a extra 15 minutes before being able to get off the plane after my flight---he apologizes

If i tell him that something didnt go right as I had planned he apologizes---

Like for example my SO he is all the above but it gets to the point where its getting a little annoying, especially when we are on the phone ugh ...

My girlfriend told me it always starts out this way and not to worry he will tune it down after awhile.

Should I say something or just go with the flow of it, I mean im just not into all that especially with us now just starting out and it just gets too be a little too much?

 

[preciouslove0x]

I am in the same way! I can't stand guys like that. But in my experiences, it always turns down a couple of notches after a while. It's not b/c he will change but b/c he'll realize you don't like it when he realizes every awkward pause happens right after one of those apologetic comments he makes.

 

[Eclass215]

I understand, and it might fade after awhile - but in the meantime I would say "Why are you apologizing, it's not your fault. You should only apoligize when it's something you could have prevented. If not, it's ok - just let me vent!"

I know his apologies are more of an "I'm sorry you're upset and things didn't go your way - I wish I could have helped." but that does get annoying after awhile when all you are doing is having a conversation, lol.

 

[bluediamond0829]

Thank you ladies for your responses. Hopefully it will die down......

 

[-PYT]

I had an ex like this...I had to actually tell him that his constant caking/sweet talk was annoying to me and he stopped.

 

[SelahOco]

I wouldn't say a word to him. Let that man be sweet to you.

I agree with the poster who said that you can tell him,"It's not your fault, I was just frustrated by the delay."

Just imagine if someone told you to stop holding his hand so much, or stop being so nice to his parents. We have to learn how to let these men be kind - it's better that he start off loving. He will calm down, but you don't want to confuse him with the whole "you're too nice" conversation.

I'd say let him be. You deserve that kindness, even if it is a little overkill right now. It'll probably balance out.

 

[SelahOco]

I asked DH, he said that you can ask him nicely. He said you should say

"Baby, this is sweet and I appreciate it. But do you realize that you apologize alot? This is not your fault, babe! You don't have to say you're sorry. You're so sweet to me."

He said that it sounds like the guy really likes you and doesn't wanna mess this up. Either that or he was raised extra polite. He thinks you should ask him if it erks you, but he sure not to embarrass him or be "mean" about it. He said just try to find out why he's doing it.

HTH.

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

My DH is very touchy/feely and he's a "sweetie this or that"

When we first dated I admit I was a little annoyed with it because I didn't come from a touchy/feely family--it seemed as though he was invading my space with all of that.

I came to accept the fact that it's the way he is, if I stop him from doing that, then I stop him from being himself. He accepts me for me and doesn't stop me from being myself.

After all these years, he will take every opportunity he can to touch me several times a day. I'm used to it now, and if I ask him to do something or call him for something, it's always "Yes Dear or Yes Sweetie" Oldest DD think he's so corny.

If you really like him and think the relationship will go somewhere--let him be himself. I think it's better that he does that, than to degrade you or show no affection at all.

 

[QueenTiffany]

I think it's better that he does that, than to degrade you or show no affection at all.

Exactly!
And I agree with SelahOco, let that man be sweet to you! I'll admit that my husband and I are touchy and toss out pet names all day so I don't really understand the problem there - it reads like "how dare you treat me like I'm precious to you!"

Regarding him apologizing for things that go wrong, you can either speak up gently OR stop complaining about your day.

 

[Makenzie]

I totally agree with the ladies who sat let him be himself. If you do mention it, please don't embarrass him. I do think he will balance it out on his own, which I think is best. He may go to the other extreme and then you'll still be unhappy.

 

[Lenee925]

It's probably just his "love language". Google "The 5 Love Languages" to get a better idea of what I'm talking about.

 

[MizzBrown]

I say get over it and love it for what it is NOW because once that honeymoon period is over, it will most likely go down a few notches.

Then you'll be wondering why he doesnt call you "baby" anymore or ask about your well-being.

I think thats the funniest thing about new relationships. That 60-90 day honeymoon period where yall are sweet as pie to each other...and then....

 

[Whimsy]

MY SO was and still is touchy feely, and "baby" this baby that.... but he never was apologetic for stuff.

I agree with the others who say let him be, and likely as you guys grow together he'll cut some of it out.

 

[foxxymami]

LOL!!!!!

It sounds like he's still trying to make a good impression on you.

 

[bluediamond0829]

Thank you all so much for your responses. Yes I would feel bad to say anything to him...so i'm going to enjoy it until I can't enjoy it anymore.

Maybe its just me not being used to a man being that way with me....so why not be treated like a Queen!!

Yes Foxxy he's still trying to impress me LOL