So I was thinking of doing a BC last night

[locabouthair]

and I wasn't transitioning either. I'm just sick of this mess. I had a horrible wash day. Someone of you read my thread about the tangles and knots I was getting because I wasnt combing my hair like I should. Granted that was my fault and I learned my lesson. So I was tyring to relax last night and I just couldn't do it. I didnt have gloves and when I tried to do it without the gloves, it was getting on my hands so I was like forget it. I ended up washing out the relaxer. It was only my head for like 3 mins and then neutralized like usual and just ended up doing a DC.

I tried the banana brulee from shescentit, the coco cream leave in, and chi silk infusion. MY hair didnt feel nice afterwards. It felt hard. I was expecting my hair to feel silky and wonderful but it didnt. Basically during the whole washing process and even afterwards I was still dealing with tangles and knots.

And I saw SO much hair in the sink last night On top of what I lost earlier that day and the day before I was convinced my hair must look much thinner. It dont think it does but it hurts to lose all that hair. I've never lost that much hair before.

I give up looking for a good DC. No matter what, my coarse hair still feels hard and I've tried sooo many conditioners. I DC for 30 mins last night under a steamer with the banana brulee and my hair feels very dry now. I think I need to focus on other things. I dont believe in giving up on something if you really want it, but growing hair shouldn't be this hard. *sigh* Seeing pics of women here with nice hair and in the street, makes me feel like why can't it happen for me. I'm thinking about canceling my membership. I'm just so tired and frustrated.

I really shouldn't let something like my hair get me down but it is. maybe some ice cream will cheer me up lol. Anyway, Thanks for letting me vent.

 

[Auburn]

cut cut cut oke:

 

[WaistLengthDreams]

My mom's hair is like that so you're not alone. She has natural hair that is very coarse and no matter what she does her hair always feel dry and rough to the touch. Enjoy your ice cream and hopefully when you get back there will be someone with tons of tips to help you overcome this.

 

[Fhrizzball]

You can always cut off the damaged hair and then rock a PS until it grows out. Just start from scratch and work your way up.

 

[imaccami]

Awwww, don't feel bad. Take some time and don't think about it, watch a movie or something and I bet you'll feel better afterward.

Just use it a learning lesson, next time make sure you have all your relaxer supplies ready to go so you won't be without gloves. And now you know banana brulee won't work for you. I know how you feel because I tried some of the kitchen remedies recommended here and it was a mess, it was so bad I thought that people were deliberately lying to hurt others. But, I guess it's possible that they work for other people so I don't worry about it anymore. I just don't use anything from the kitchen on my hair. I figure if it was that great Pantene or Nexxus would've heard about it and would put the essential ingredient in their products.

Anyway, I hope you feel better. I remember you mentioned in another thread that you had grown out an area from 1 inch to 3 inches, that's good progress so don't let a moment of frustration get to you. hugs.

 

[Addy3010]

If you really want to cut i think you should. But i DONT think you should cut because you are frustrated...what if you cut? Its going to grow back and be the same texture. I think you should take a step back and dont let your hair stress you out. YOur right that growing hair shouldnt be hard. So try and k.i.s.s. and do whatever you were doing before when you didnt have problems.

I think ice cream is a good idea......i think im gonna get some too! Good luck with your hair and i hope things get better or easier for you.

 

[locabouthair]

cut cut cut oke:

You're like my friend, she's always pushing me to go natural.

My mom's hair is like that so you're not alone. She has natural hair that is very coarse and no matter what she does her hair always feel dry and rough to the touch. Enjoy your ice cream and hopefully when you get back there will be someone with tons of tips to help you overcome this.

YES! And it's so annoying. It only feel smooth when I flat iron. And I'm too lazy for that.

You can always cut off the damaged hair and then rock a PS until it grows out. Just start from scratch and work your way up.

I cut my hair back in August. It was an uneven shoulder length and I've been rocking a wig since June. My plan was to PS until April.

Awwww, don't feel bad. Take some time and don't think about it, watch a movie or something and I bet you'll feel better afterward.

Just use it a learning lesson, next time make sure you have all your relaxer supplies ready to go so you won't be without gloves. And now you know banana brulee won't work for you. I know how you feel because I tried some of the kitchen remedies recommended here and it was a mess, it was so bad I thought that people were deliberately lying to hurt others. But, I guess it's possible that they work for other people so I don't worry about it anymore. I just don't use anything from the kitchen on my hair. I figure if it was that great Pantene or Nexxus would've heard about it and would put the essential ingredient in their products.

Anyway, I hope you feel better. I remember you mentioned in another thread that you had grown out an area from 1 inch to 3 inches, that's good progress so don't let a moment of frustration get to you. hugs.

Thanks. I was trying to remind myself of that so I wouldn't feel so down. That area barely had 1/2 an inch. I'm just frustrated. I may watch the 40 year old virgin. That usually makes me laugh.

 

[cocoaluv]

Aww darn Loca. I'm sorry this happened to you. I know you hate braids but I would suggest giving your hair a rest for awhile, that way you wont be obsessing over it as much. Also I know I mess with you all the time and try to get you to BC and be natural like me but if you wanna keep trying I suggest you dont give up. I was really hoping the chi silk infusion i gave you would have helped somewhat.

 

[locabouthair]

If you really want to cut i think you should. But i DONT think you should cut because you are frustrated...what if you cut? Its going to grow back and be the same texture. I think you should take a step back and dont let your hair stress you out. YOur right that growing hair shouldnt be hard. So try and k.i.s.s. and do whatever you were doing before when you didnt have problems.

I think ice cream is a good idea......i think im gonna get some too! Good luck with your hair and i hope things get better or easier for you.

Thats exactly why I would cut it.

I feel like I have alien hair or something. I was really thinking about going to a trichologist and have them look my hair under a microscope because I just can't comprehend how coarse it is, even with a relaxer.

 

[Auburn]

Whats stopping you?

 

[IDareT'sHair]

Hey Girlie:

Come On Cheer Up. You know this Hair Thing is One Day at a Time. We have to take our progress as it comes. And just keep doing what we know to do and try to get "there."

If you decide to "BC" do so, because it is the right thing for you to do for your Hair Health rather than out of frustration.

Keep focusing on Hair Health instead of Length and KISS & KIM.

I am so proud of you for hanging in this long.

 

[poookie]

aw Loca, i 'm sorry you feel that way. a BC would be a GREAT way to get a fresh start! but please don't make any drastic hair decisions without fully thinking them through first.

take a bit of time to focus on things other than hair. & remember that it's a 1 day at a time process. you'll hit your goals! & sooner than you think!

 

[locabouthair]

Whats stopping you?

I dont know. I would only cut it because I feel like my hair will never grow. And I'd be covering it up with a wig because I dont the face for that type of short cut. I wish I did though.

 

[ycj1]

All I can say is I do understand somewhat about yr frustration because all of us have had hurdles. IMO I think it's best to start fm scratch and cut if off! It will grow back healthier than it is now with all of the underprocessed hair you have now is making things worse for you and yr feelings toward yr hair. It will grow back, TRUST ME!!!!!

Oh, one more thing too, don't give up on this forum, it's is the best advice and opinions I've ever encountered! You will be surprised if you stay how vital the info. you will gain from being here. Don't leave girl!!!!


Hang in there!

 

[AnitaTheLengths]

Woo Woo Woo! Woo Woo Woo! I'm so sorry you're frustrated. I feel like this sometimes. Keep looking for the DC that will work for you. Adding honey to my conditioners has made a SIGNIFICANT difference in my hair.

Also if you do cut, don't cut out of frustration and anger. I cut some tangles out of my hair early in the year and it was such a setback for me. I had to end up cutting a second time in addition to trims and S&D's. Lesson learned. Just be patient, flip thru your old photo's for inspiration. Also try stalking the fotki's of people whose beginning pics remind you of your own hair when you began - that always gives me hope.

Don't give up!

 

[Honey Bee]

Well, I don't have any advice for you, because my hair is dismally thin. I just broke down and bought some hair scissors last week. You seem like a thoughtful person, so if you're feeling like cutting it, do what you feel is necessary. You the one that's gon have to deal with it. Otoh, I would discourage any serious hair decisions while you're still aggravated, don't wake up tomorrow mad at yourself.

But you'll be lovely either way.

 

[NerdSauce]

You said your hair is very coarse and always seems to feel dry. Maybe you should give cowashing (another) try? I suggest it because even with as someone with naturally fine hair infrequent and non-cowashes doooo not work for me. Without them my hair just feels dry and weak... with them I can up my protein as well. Since your hair is coarse you dont really have to worry about the protein right? I've been hard pressed to find a conditioner that can do what a little quality time with water can for me.

Also, try clarifying...and porosity control. I know that really didn't do TOOOOO much for me every time, but I imagine mixed into a dc or over time it would help a lot, if your hair feels rough and is tangling a lot.

What I wouldn't do is cut, nothing major. A trim maybe. That and doing the simplest possible things to your hair...while you sleep on the cutting thing.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

I think your hair is rebelling because your relaxer went wrong. Did you fully neutralize/ do a protein treatment after the relaxer mishap? Please never make a decision this deep when you're mad. I've done it and regretted it. If you don't mind, can you please let us know which relaxer you used, lye or no- lye. The more info you give, the better we can help you.(TAKE A DEEP BREATH) I'm not the most knowledgeable, but I can point you to others who are. I buy vinyl gloves separately because I'm allergic to latex gloves that are usually in the relaxer kit.

 

[locabouthair]

You said your hair is very coarse and always seems to feel dry. Maybe you should give cowashing (another) try? I suggest it because even with as someone with naturally fine hair infrequent and non-cowashes doooo not work for me. Without them my hair just feels dry and weak... with them I can up my protein as well. Since your hair is coarse you dont really have to worry about the protein right? I've been hard pressed to find a conditioner that can do what a little quality time with water can for me.

Also, try clarifying...and porosity control. I know that really didn't do TOOOOO much for me every time, but I imagine mixed into a dc or over time it would help a lot, if your hair feels rough and is tangling a lot.

What I wouldn't do is cut, nothing major. A trim maybe. That and doing the simplest possible things to your hair...while you sleep on the cutting thing.

I clarify at least once a month and it feels the same. I tried cowashing and porosity control before when I was natural. I'll get a small sample and use it in my next DC.

I think your hair is rebelling because your relaxer went wrong. Did you fully neutralize/ do a protein treatment after the relaxer mishap? Please never make a decision this deep when you're mad. I've done it and regretted it. If you don't mind, can you please let us know which relaxer you used, lye or no- lye. The more info you give, the better we can help you.(TAKE A DEEP BREATH) I'm not the most knowledgeable, but I can point you to others who are.

I didnt do a protein afterwards but I did fully neutralized for like 1/2 an hour.

I had tangles days before I applied the relaxer. I am/was wearing a wig and I made the mistake of not combing my hair in over a week, well two weeks. So I got knots and tangles galore. I used a lye relaxer btw. Mizani.

Thanks for the support ladies. I'm trying not to think about it too much. I want to find other things to focus on. I'm too hair obsessed.

 

[Lady Esquire]

Awwww, Loca! ((HUGS!!!)) Don't let a bad relaxer application lead to a rash decision. If you want to go natural, go for it! If you wanna stay relaxed, do that. Make the decision after you're certain, not while you're upset or frustrated.

This hair growing journey is trial and error, especially for DIYers. I hope you find the right combination of products and regimen.

But the urge to chop and start over natural is understandle. And going natural gives you the opportunity to start FRESH, and truly get with your hair on another level. And its a NEW YEAR, new decade, this would be a fine time to BC. But if your heart wants to stay relaxed, then hold on.

Whatever you decide, I wish you luck. Enjoy the ice cream and stop thinking about it for a while. The right answer will come.

 

[Lady Esquire]

Take a pic or pics of your hair with regimen and products...and LHCF will help you make your decision.

 

[brucebettye]

Before you cut your hair wear a wig or get braids if you aren't really sure what you want to do with your hair. But if you will feel better cut it off. I cut off all my damaged relaxed hair and wore wigs until I decided what to do with my hair. I am texlaxed and happy that I though about this for about 4 months before I texlaxed my natural hair. Keep in mind you are the one that has to take care of your hair.

 

[Vintageglam]

Two things that changed everything for me forever:

1. Steamer
2. Ceramides

Consider these before the big chop and if you still want to BC then go ahead....

 

[locabouthair]

Before you cut your hair wear a wig or get braids if you aren't really sure what you want to do with your hair. But if you will feel better cut it off. I cut off all my damaged relaxed hair and wore wigs until I decided what to do with my hair. I am texlaxed and happy that I though about this for about 4 months before I texlaxed my natural hair. Keep in mind you are the one that has to take care of your hair.

I've been wearing a wig for 6 months now and I planned on wearing one again until April.

Two things that changed everything for me forever:

1. Steamer
2. Ceramides

Consider these before the big chop and if you still want to BC then go ahead....

I've been steaming since the summer. I will try the ceramides.

I will post a pic of my hair but the pics I have are from 4 months ago when I first cut. I want to take a new pic especially since I lost so much hair this weekend.

 

[BostonMaria]

Don't cut your hair out of frustration. When the day comes you'll just know. Listen, just know that most of us have been where you are now. Dealing with two textures is very hard and it can get so frustrating. I wish you luck on whatever you choose to do. Hope you enjoyed your ice-cream!

 

[Chaosbutterfly]

This may be an unpopular opinion, but I don't think you should cut your hair.
If you're doing it out of frustration and annoyance, and not because you actually want to be natural, then you'll only become more frustrated and annoyed having to learn a whole new head of hair. Natural hair comes with it's own set of issues. If you just feel frustrated with your hair in general, then going natural probably won't help. However, if you want to BC because you want to be natural and not just to relieve your frustration, then by all means, cut away.

And about the DC's, can you say which ones you've been using? And have you been doctoring them at all? My hair is really hard to please, so I almost never use a conditioner straight. I always have to add something...oils, honey, salt, or other conditioners, to get them to really act right.

Anyway, I just think you need to take deep breaths, calm down, and think about things rationally. There's no need to give up or freak out. You can and will have healthy and beautiful hair. It just takes some patience and persistence.
's to you!

 

[fattyfatfat]

hey loca. im sending you a BIG hug!

 

[locabouthair]

This may be an unpopular opinion, but I don't think you should cut your hair.
If you're doing it out of frustration and annoyance, and not because you actually want to be natural, then you'll only become more frustrated and annoyed having to learn a whole new head of hair. Natural hair comes with it's own set of issues. If you just feel frustrated with your hair in general, then going natural probably won't help. However, if you want to BC because you want to be natural and not just to relieve your frustration, then by all means, cut away.

And about the DC's, can you say which ones you've been using? And have you been doctoring them at all? My hair is really hard to please, so I almost never use a conditioner straight. I always have to add something...oils, honey, salt, or other conditioners, to get them to really act right.

Anyway, I just think you need to take deep breaths, calm down, and think about things rationally. There's no need to give up or freak out. You can and will have healthy and beautiful hair. It just takes some patience and persistence.
's to you!

I was natural when I first came to the board.

The DC's I've used are Kenra, Moisturefuse, Joico Moisture Recovery, Elasta QP DPR-11. Motions Silk protein, Shescentit banana brullee.

I used to add honey to the conditioner but I never noticed a difference.

I just feel since I started my journey it's been nothing but setbacks. I had a stylist burn off my left side with the hot comb, then the relaxer wasn't washed out properly (and that happened three times w/ 3 different stylists). It's just frustrating because I never wanted "long" hair. Apl or a little shorter would be just fine.

I'm starting to hate my hair. I'm trying not to though.

Thanks for the kind words ladies. I'm eating a brownie now so I'm a little better lol.

 

[honeybuni84]

how long have you tried each of these conditioner? i think maybe try them again but use them a bit longer... at least a few weeks before you give up on them

I dont think cutting your hair is the answer. Like someone said before, you still will have the coarse texture that will grow back.. and let me just say that being natural is no easy picnic.... It is really hard, think tangles times 1000....

I refuse to believe that your hair can't grow.. i think you just need to be patient and find what's right for you

 

[robot.]

Do it! Where do you live? I'll come help.