So, do we base our hair decisions on men? *triple spinoff*

[Dannygirl]

Yup, but this isn't the first and I'm almost postive that it won't be last thread that has drifted *slightly* off topic.

I'm not complaing to much lol but its funny seeing the differnet view points and ideals on body/hair/lifestyle all ties in U know how we woman are..

 

[MizaniMami]

.. wasn't this suppose to be about hair? lolerplexed

Welcome to lhcf, this happens all the time. It's cool cuz it offers new perspective.

 

[Miss_Jetsetter]

Thank you!
BTW: your hair is lovley!

Thanks Dannygirl !!

 

[Poohbear]

Maybe because I work in an industry where my looks actually matter is why I feel this way. I don't want Jay Z to walk on my plane next week and be like "Dang, her hair is dry and her teeth are yellow" That does not look good on behalf of my company.

In the end I will always look good for Yaasmeen first and foremost.

I do too hun... I work in a corporate professional environment. I still do not care what others think of my hair nor my clothes... as long as I look good to myself, I'm content.

And who said I would not fix my hair or brush my teeth???... just because one may not care what others think doesn't mean they would go as low as not caring about their hair and personal hygiene. I definitely wasn't saying that.

 

[Curlee_lurker]

There's two different issues being addressed in this thread.

I only continued reading this mess with the hopes that someone, anyone brought this up. People arguing two different points during a debate is quite entertaining though.

I thought the topic brought up originally was a totally different situation than what was brought up later.

Me wanting to look nice to attract men is totally different from me letting someone else dictate things about myself that I like.

Recently I dyed my hair a darker brown and my SO was thrilled, telling me how beautiful it was and I totally agreed. If I went back light and he wasn't so thrilled, and I decided to go back dark again I don't think that's letting him dictate how I look. However, if I dyed it dark and didn't like it and he told me how he felt about it and I went back light, only to please him, I think that's letting him decide on how I should look.

 

[Bublnbrnsuga]

This thread started because of the topics started about is having long hair attractive to men and would you be less attractive via going natural. What I noticed from this board and other boards I frequent is that the male opinion really has a hold on some of us. Heck,many even risk their lives on a daily basis by having unprotected sex just to keep and please a man!!! This is something serious I wanted us to discuss because people's opinions about hair change like the course of the wind, which is why I mentioned what if shaved heads were the sexy look amongst men, then what would we do? What bothers me is when a woman has her heart on changing herself FOR herself and gets totally off track due to the male perspective. There may have already been some insecurity there, but the straw that breaks the camels back is usually the male opinion.

 

[JustKiya]

This thread started because of the topics started about is having long hair attractive to men and would you be less attractive via going natural. What I noticed from this board and other boards I frequent is that the male opinion really has a hold on some of us. Heck,many even risk their lives on a daily basis by having unprotected sex just to keep and please a man!!! This is something serious I wanted us to discuss because people's opinions about hair change like the course of the wind, which is why I mentioned what if shaved heads were the sexy look amongst men, then what would we do? What bothers me is when a woman has her heart on changing herself FOR herself and gets totally off track due to the male perspective. There may have already been some insecurity there, but the straw that breaks the camels back is usually the male opinion.

EXACTLY!!!

If you REALLY WANT to do something (like a big chop) and DON'T do it because some RANDOM man (that you ain't even MET yet) MIGHT not like it - there is a problem. Period.

Now, If you KINDA want to do something (like wear a weave), and DON'T do it because a man that you are in a commited relationship doesn't like it - that's cool, and called compromise.

There is a difference.

 

[Miss_Jetsetter]

I do too hun... I work in a corporate professional environment. I still do not care what others think of my hair nor my clothes... as long as I look good to myself, I'm content.

And who said I would not fix my hair or brush my teeth???... just because one may not care what others think doesn't mean they would go as low as not caring about their hair and personal hygiene. I definitely wasn't saying that.

Alright 'Hun'... you win. It is totally pointless to argue with you.

 

[Poohbear]

Alright 'Hun'... you win. It is totally pointless to argue with you.

QUOTE]
Whoa, it is not that serious. When I said 'hun', I was not getting smart with you. And I was so not trying to argue with you at all in this thread... I just simply disagree with your notion...nothing wrong with that. And this isn't a 'who wins / who loses' deal. I was just bringing out a perspective that seems fairly unpopular in this thread apparently. Have a nice night.

 

[firecracker]

um do you get what I'm saying?

All I am saying is that it's HUMAN NATURE TO care about how others see you. Not care so much that we lose sleep over it at night, but just care in general.

That's why we dress up for interviews and get our hair done--because we care about what our future boss may think of us.

That's why we put on nice clothes to meet our boyfriends parents for the fist time-- because we want to set forth a good first impression.

Maybe because I work in an industry where my looks actually matter is why I feel this way. I don't want Jay Z to walk on my plane next week and be like "Dang, her hair is dry and her teeth are yellow" That does not look good on behalf of my company.

In the end I will always look good for Yaasmeen first and foremost.

Hey chica I call the interview clothes a costume cuz they are in for a real surprise once they give me the job and I take that costume off ! The damn fool just might come out after the probationary period, a **** overstep their boundaries and host of other things.

I feel what your saying Yaas. I also know that your a natural beauty so you don't really have to do anything and you look hella hawt. I ain't a bunny bumper just calling it how I see it. You know Guiwine wrote "in those jeans fo yo" *** Talk about a later bloomer blossoming chile you rock!

 

[firecracker]

.. wasn't this suppose to be about hair? lolerplexed

Girl ain't nothing eva that simple in this herre neighborhood. You want simplicity you gotta go visit Mr Rogers neighborhood but you will learn alot more here thats for sure. By the way, welcome to Bev's house!

 

[pattycake0701]

For what its worth, let me throw in my two cents and I'll try to stay on topic...

I've been one of the girls who's always was considered having "bad hair" as I've been told way too many times by many people. As I had low self esteem when in was in high school, my main goal was to fit in, which never worked. I decided to do me and wear my bun and my puffy side swept bang and I tell you what, that never stopped my phone from ringing. Now that I'm a married grown up, from time to time, I flip through some hair magazines with my hubby and ask him what his dream hair for me would be. He usually tells me to do me and wear what I want as he has no preference (even though he's about through with my buns). So to answer the question, I dictate and influence how I wear my hair on a daily basis. Besides, he much more interested in me throwing out my comfy big booty drawers and wearing thongs and boyshorts everyday (but that's another discussion for another forum).

 

[Dannygirl]

hey hey hey... im learing thats all that matters in my book !

 

[MzOptimistic]

Glad to see someone does Enchantment...

If you guys want to take my comment on the topic LITERALLY, then feel free to do so. If you want to quote it, answer all the questions and state that you're grown... hey knock yourself out. I was merely attempting to make a point that was obviously missed.

No where in this thread did I ever say that I or anyone else should change who they are and what they represent to please a man.

All I was saying was LET'S KEEP IT REAL and acknowledge the fact that some (not all) of the decisions that we've made AT SOME POINT IN OUR LIVES have been based on how we thought others may have percieved us.

It doesn't make you a bad person, ya know.


Anyway, a shout out to all the confident and PERFECT individuals who've always done everything in their lives for themselves and never gave a damn about what anyone else had to say.

And a shout out to Kanye West who said "We're all self concious--I'm just the first to admit it" on his song 'When it all falls down"

Miss Jetsetter, I hear ya...I was just honestly answering your questions...dang..I put a smiley face in ...I'm all about peace...FOR REAL... I just merely saying that I am grown now so I don't care about what other folx thinks about me...I have that problem right now with my daughter who's 13...she's so concerned about what her friends think about her...I tell her the same thing...be yourself...please yourself...

 

[MzOptimistic]

I agree with so1913!!!

Me personally, I've never TRIED to look good or attractive to any man. I realize that men like different things, they all don't like the same thing: Some like short hair, some like long hair, some like straight hair, some like nappy hair, some like thin women, some like thick women, some like makeup, some like no makeup...and some like other men! LOL!

So it is naive to say that people who don't care what others think about their appearance are bull***ting. Who are you to say that just because it's contrary to your opinion? And it doesn't mean they're in denial and it doesn't mean they're perfect, it's just life. All women are different and all women think differently and all women feel differently and have different preferences...we are not the same.

I totally agree see when I was a teenager I did alot of things to please others and I've learned to love myself and appreciate myself now...because you can do everything to try to please someone or try to be accepted but if they don't like you, you're doing it all in vain...as my statement for saying that I'm grown..I'm saying that with me as I got older...I really, truly, honestly, don't give a damn what anyone thinks of me...because no matter how you dress or carry yourself...people are still going to make their own assumptions of you....I just don't have time for that anymore. I'm not saying that I am perfect because I'm not...no one is for that matter...but everyone should have that inner-confidence within themselves...and you can't get that from your man or your friends...it comes from within.

 

[MzOptimistic]

Ooookay. I see where you are coming from. Once again, it is My opinion that all women did something in their lifetime that they think the opposite sex would like-makeup, weightloss etc. I do believe that, I would have trouble believing otherwise.

Mizani, in my younger days yah, I did alot of things to please the opposite sex but now that I'm a little older and alot wiser...I do things to please myself now...Mizani..it's all about me now...believe dat

 

[MzOptimistic]

um do you get what I'm saying?

All I am saying is that it's HUMAN NATURE TO care about how others see you. Not care so much that we lose sleep over it at night, but just care in general.

That's why we dress up for interviews and get our hair done--because we care about what our future boss may think of us.

That's why we put on nice clothes to meet our boyfriends parents for the fist time-- because we want to set forth a good first impression.

Maybe because I work in an industry where my looks actually matter is why I feel this way. I don't want Jay Z to walk on my plane next week and be like "Dang, her hair is dry and her teeth are yellow" That does not look good on behalf of my company.

In the end I will always look good for Yaasmeen first and foremost.

That's totally different MJ that's about MONEY

 

[Ladyhenri]

Quite a few women base their hair judgements on men....

but I kinda think that men go more for the overall package. If your hair is natural but always smells lovely, is shiny and looks nice, i reckon it wont matter to a guy...he might even be crazier about you because you are very individual and look different from other women. One that would be proud to point you out in a room full of girls because you stand out just by being different.

Its probably other females that women base their decisions on, they can be waay more critical than men.

I am now engaged but before that, i was very independent. I was quite happy to remain single too (better that than settle with a negative man, believe me).

For all you independent, different sisters out there, just know that this makes you more likely to attract a good man, one that would love you for your individuality.

 

[FlowerHair]

Well, I have to admit I base my hair decisions on my man.
He doesn't like it straight, in fact he likes it as big and wild as possible! LOL
That's a verrrrrry easy style for me to acheive.

If it were the other way around I would not straighten.

 

[so1913]

This thread started because of the topics started about is having long hair attractive to men and would you be less attractive via going natural. What I noticed from this board and other boards I frequent is that the male opinion really has a hold on some of us. Heck,many even risk their lives on a daily basis by having unprotected sex just to keep and please a man!!! This is something serious I wanted us to discuss because people's opinions about hair change like the course of the wind, which is why I mentioned what if shaved heads were the sexy look amongst men, then what would we do? What bothers me is when a woman has her heart on changing herself FOR herself and gets totally off track due to the male perspective. There may have already been some insecurity there, but the straw that breaks the camels back is usually the male opinion.

See, this is where I thought this discussion was going. I think the TRUE idea of the issue at hand has been missed in some of this discussion.

 

[Robin41]

BUT like ya'll said, guys have a facination with long hair. I may do it again one day, some of these twa's I've been seeing (especially one of my friends who recently went natural and did a BC) got me feenin' a short do!

Girl, don't you touch a hair on that head! You've got one of the most admired heads of hair on this board and I think we all would have to come find you if you cut that gorgeous hair of yours. And don't forget, I'm in Jersey so I'd probably get to you first!

Having said that, who cares what men like? The right guy is not gonna love you for your hair anyway.

 

[Plenty]

I'm not even gon lie! At first I hated the premise of this thread, but know I know what your talking about.

 

[Ayeshia]

If I did I would not have done the BC...enuff said