Single Ladies: More Prayers For a Godly Husband.

[Poohbear]

Say wha?

You read what I said.

Most of you think godly men are not perfect.

To me, if he is not perfect, then he is NOT godly.

 

[auparavant]

I truly hope you're asking this out of pure curiosity and not because you are trying to insinuate anything.

Oy vey. Well, their love committment occurred deeply and long ago. But believe me, he's going to do something for her to satisfy her sexually, even if it's just a kiss of some sort, or hugging (or a medical device to make him erect which exists). They are going to be physical. Making house together is physical proximity...attraction to him is sexual/hormonal/physical/spiritual...all together.

But I wonder how much he can communicate with her and if her committment is basically her not wanting to let go - not that it's a bad thing. How can he lead her spiritually? He said, "He's awesome..." and maybe that was deeper than any of us can know. It was their committment and specifically, hers, that sealed the deal. Nothing wrong with that.

 

[Poohbear]

If there is a man in this world who doesn't commit willful sin, then all the other men in the world in comparison should not get married or even confess G-d because they aren't "holy." This viewpoint is not at all biblical. I'm not g-dly either, neither was my mother, father, aunts, uncles, Pope, priest, teachers...nobody is g-dly in this world, according to that description of christian life.

Then what do you feel makes someone godly or holy if it has nothing to do with wilful sin?

 

[LucieLoo12]

This is your reality. Don' try and make this everyone's reality..I don't see how you are making the judgement that this women are "caught up" on marriage. You seen a few prayers and make a generalization off that? Is that fair? You say "why pray so much"? All you seen is a couple of threads? I guess I am thinking about the lurkers that dont respond in threads but just reads them, and how much strength they can get off of seeing other women going before God for what they desire. Is it any fault in that?

You said "you said pray once and let God do the work"? Who are you to say how many times someone should pray about a issue. Some women may struggle with the desire of being married and they may need to go before God with more than once, does that make them wrong?

You asked me about a husband going out and having a one night stand is he godly? Well its hard for me to answer this because it depends on the heart of the man, it would be a case by case thing. But I do think about David, when the bible says he was a man after God's own heart. he slept with bathsheeba and caused her husband to be killed in war. Was he wrong? Yes. But what makes a man, a man of God isn't that he passes every single test, but its the fact that when he is confronted about his error he repents, turns away from it. When Nathan the prophet came to David about his sin, he did not justify it, or lie about it. He confessed it, and got it right. Thats what made him a man after God's own heart, yes he was caught in a snare, but he got it right.He DESIRE was to please God..

A "regular:" man can care less about the things of God. He goes off of what he does. A "godly" man is a man where is life is centered around the word and will of God. It does not make him "bullet proof", to where he can't make mistakes, but it does make his heart tender to correction and towards the word of God.


Finally, you asked me would I marry a man because he gentials was removed? . I dont even know how to answer this. This isn't a yes or no thing. I really don't know. he would not be "x" out because of it either.

You asked "Why would a man and woman get married if it isnt for sex?" I thought I explained this several times, but I guess not...

For companionship, for a family, for ministry, for love...so much more..

Again,nothing wrong with sex, but it should not be the ONLY reason..

I'm not making any negative remarks, just speaking on the reality of things. People can get so caught up in their own wants and desires that they forget about what God wants and desires. That is not negative. God says to have faith in him, why pray so much for a husband if you are suppose to believe and trust in God? Pray once and let God do the work in your life. A husband may or may not be for all single women. Let it happen naturally.

Would you say a husband is godly if he has this heart of God and seeks the will of God for his life but decides to go out and have a one night stand with another woman that is not his wife? He has this heart of God now and seeks God's will most of the time. If you say no, then why not? You said a godly man is not perfect or complete yet. So what separates a godly man from a regular man?

And you still did not answer "why else would a man and woman get married if it wasn't for sex?" What other reasons would you get married for besides sex and/or children?

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

Oy vey. Well, their love commitment occurred deeply and long ago. But believe me, he's going to do something for her to satisfy her sexually, even if it's just a kiss of some sort, or hugging (or a medical device to make him erect which exists). They are going to be physical.

Oh no I'm not even thinking about what that couple is doing. It just seemed to me that Poohbear was being facetious and was really asking a rhetorical question. Like saying, just be real, ya'll know ya'll wouldn't marry that man if he was in that condition. That's how it read to me though. I apologize Poohbear if that was not what you were saying.

 

[Poohbear]

I truly hope you're asking this out of pure curiosity and not because you are trying to insinuate anything.

LaFemmeNaturelle - would you marry your boyfriend if he ended up disabled like that after an accident?

Oy vey. Well, their love commitment occurred deeply and long ago. But believe me, he's going to do something for her to satisfy her sexually, even if it's just a kiss of some sort, or hugging (or a medical device to make him erect which exists). They are going to be physical.

auparavant - I don't think he is physical with her. She may kiss and hug him, but I don't think he can reciprocate those affections.

And when I watched the video, she didn't seem too confident with her decision to marry him. She looked very uncomfortable up there with him in her wedding dress. It just seemed really fake to me.

 

[auparavant]

Then what do you feel makes someone godly or holy if it has nothing to do with wilful sin?

I don't believe we attain perfection here but work towards it and that, for every failure, G-d has made provision for that in His word, in the sacraments of His Church. We get back on track.

 

[Laela]

OK forget what "most of you" think... you just said NO MAN is Holy.. that means no one. So for you, a godly man isn't holy right?

You read what I said.

Most of you think godly men are not perfect.

To me, if he is not perfect, then he is NOT godly.

 

[auparavant]

@LaFemmeNaturelle - would you marry your boyfriend if he ended up disabled like that after an accident?


@auparavant - I don't think he is physical with her. She may kiss and hug him, but I don't think he can reciprocate those affections.

And when I watched the video, she didn't seem too confident with her decision to marry him. She looked very uncomfortable up there with him in her wedding dress. It just seemed really fake to me.

That's physical. She's not kissing her brother or dad on the lips, she's kissing her husband. She lays with him in bed at night. That's SEXUAL. Better believe it. She can achieve orgasm with him.

 

[LucieLoo12]

But I agree... There is this tendency I've noticed in this community to talk down sex as important in marriage. The fact of wishing to get married in the first place as christians means you are looking to "make house" with someone and that is a physical union linked to the spiritual. You can't have one without the other unless there is illness or you were the Blessed Virgin Mary and St. Joseph. I'm not at all stating that it's the only reason...I'm saying that, in biology, we have sexual attraction by DEFAULT and the provision that G-d makes is in the marital union. That's where all the spiritual links occur and grow. But removing the physical attraction because we're trying to say we're truly looking for the spiritual union is false, imho. You are primarily attracted because of your biology and G-d made it that way. One is truly inextricable from the other. Not just christians get married and it's older than the religion.

I agree it will be some physical attraction will have to be there. But what makes a person attractive changes when you are in God. When i was in the world, what makes a man attractive, was agressiveness, nice chocolate skin, tall, muscular. But when i got into God, what makes a person attractive is humbleness, boldness, ability to lead. When I first came to my church where I am now, I looked around and was like "ew so not my type". But over the years, some have become attractive because of the godly features...

 

[Poohbear]

Alicialynn86 - no, not just a couple of threads. I see that you are still fairly new to the forum. I've been around for over 8 years and have seen PLENTY of threads on this topic alone.

All I'm saying is for these single women to "Let Go and Let God!" If you want a godly marriage union, then stop struggling, worrying, and crying. Be dead to the flesh. Pick up your cross and follow Jesus.

Thanks for answering my questions. As for companionship, for a family, for ministry, for love... you can have these 4 things without marriage... The thing that separates marriage from anything else is sex and/or having children. (Yes, people have sex outside of marriage and have children outside of marriage but that is not God's way).

This is your reality. Don' try and make this everyone's reality..I don't see how you are making the judgement that this women are "caught up" on marriage. You seen a few prayers and make a generalization off that? Is that fair? You say "why pray so much"? All you seen is a couple of threads? I guess I am thinking about the lurkers that dont respond in threads but just reads them, and how much strength they can get off of seeing other women going before God for what they desire. Is it any fault in that?

You said "you said pray once and let God do the work"? Who are you to say how many times someone should pray about a issue. Some women may struggle with the desire of being married and they may need to go before God with more than once, does that make them wrong?

You asked me about a husband going out and having a one night stand is he godly? Well its hard for me to answer this because it depends on the heart of the man, it would be a case by case thing. But I do think about David, when the bible says he was a man after God's own heart. he slept with bathsheeba and caused her husband to be killed in war. Was he wrong? Yes. But what makes a man, a man of God isn't that he passes every single test, but its the fact that when he is confronted about his error he repents, turns away from it. When Nathan the prophet came to David about his sin, he did not justify it, or lie about it. He confessed it, and got it right. Thats what made him a man after God's own heart, yes he was caught in a snare, but he got it right.He DESIRE was to please God..

A "regular:" man can care less about the things of God. He goes off of what he does. A "godly" man is a man where is life is centered around the word and will of God. It does not make him "bullet proof", to where he can't make mistakes, but it does make his heart tender to correction and towards the word of God.


Finally, you asked me would I marry a man because he gentials was removed? . I dont even know how to answer this. This isn't a yes or no thing. I really don't know. he would not be "x" out because of it either.

You asked "Why would a man and woman get married if it isnt for sex?" I thought I explained this several times, but I guess not...

For companionship, for a family, for ministry, for love...so much more..

Again,nothing wrong with sex, but it should not be the ONLY reason..

 

[auparavant]

^^^^No, it doesn't! It's still physical MERGED with the spiritual. That's the point I'm tryingto get across. Sex isn't some dirty little deed. It's actually holy and that's why it's to be guarded as sacred in marriage. When we have sex, G-d sees every little thrust. He designed it. The physics and physiology of sex are simply amazing!!! It's a wonderful, G-d-appointed thing. How many christian pastors/churches are trying to get inside of the christian's head concerning sex so they don't destroy their marriages with porn and extra-marital affairs in this culture based upon past Puritan stupid ideals? Many of them have written books cuz we've treated the thing like a taboo subject, going so far as to say we marry cuz we wanna pray with somebody. Bunk that...I'll pray before and after, not during.


"let go and let G-d,....be dead to the flesh" That's if you sin. There's nothing wrong with desiring for marriage...and marriage is committment and sex, children and companionship. I still don't get the disconnect. If people want to consider the desire sin, why are christian folks dating and kissing/hugging their boyfriends? Let go of the flesh and become a cloistered monk, right?

 

[Rainbow Dash]

We are only made holy and righteous before God through Christ. It is when we make a decision to give our lives over to Him and as we do this we are changed and transformed to be like Him.

A godly man is a man that lives for Christ knowing that he cannot depend on his own righteousness but only on Christ's righteousness. Christ is the one who gives us the ability to overcome sin and things that displease God. Holiness comes when we exchange our inability for His ability. It's about choices.

 

[Poohbear]

That's physical. She's not kissing her brother or dad on the lips, she's kissing her husband. She lays with him in bed at night. That's SEXUAL. Better believe it. She can achieve orgasm with him.

Well okay. That's true that these are sexual gestures. Hopefully she's getting satisfied in this way sexually in her marriage.

 

[Laela]

Praying for a Husband/Wife is just one prayer request, out of many... God the Father says to simply ask. Why are we making this prayer for a spouse who loves God so complicated?

Jesus told us in John 14:
12 I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. 13 And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. 14 You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.

 

[Poohbear]

OK forget what "most of you" think... you just said NO MAN is Holy.. that means no one. So for you, a godly man isn't holy right?

Laela

You're confusing what I'm saying. I'm just not good at expressing my thoughts very well and they can be misunderstood.

A godly man IS perfect and holy.

When I said no man is holy, I was talking about the men that most
"Christian" women think are holy.

 

[Poohbear]

Praying for a Husband/Wife is just one prayer request, out of many... God the Father says to simply ask. Why are we making this prayer for a spouse who loves God so complicated?

Jesus told us in John 14:
12 I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. 13 And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. 14 You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.

So why don't many single Christian woman believe and trust in this verse?

 

[LucieLoo12]

Are these the same women posting about this over and over? I dont think so. They could be newbies posting for their first time..

And a part of "letting go" is bring things before God in prayer. Who said anyone was crying about this? I just think its alot of assumptions going on..

And yes people can have that without marriage, but these are things that people can marry for...it does not make it wrong...

Just because others may not have the same view as you, does not make them wrong...

Some could say the same thing about hair growth. Some say,Why do people put some emphasis on the hair care regimen? Why they measure their hair every month or even measure they hair period? Some may say why do yall pay 6.50 to discuss hair? Some say Why do yall posts pics of yall in yall bra and post them on the internet to show how long yall hair is?Some will just say "girl slap some grease on it and go"? But because you spend a little more time on it than others may do, does that make you wrong? No because you desire long and healthy hair.. So because these women pray about marriage more than you, does this make the wrong? No, because it's their desire....

@Alicialynn86 - no, not just a couple of threads. I see that you are still fairly new to the forum. I've been around for over 8 years and have seen PLENTY of threads on this topic alone.

All I'm saying is for these single women to "Let Go and Let God!" If you want a godly marriage union, then stop struggling, worrying, and crying. Be dead to the flesh. Pick up your cross and follow Jesus.

Thanks for answering my questions. As for companionship, for a family, for ministry, for love... you can have these 4 things without marriage... The thing that separates marriage from anything else is sex and/or having children. (Yes, people have sex outside of marriage and have children outside of marriage but that is not God's way).

 

[LucieLoo12]

So you think because they are praying about it, they are not trusting God??

Thats an oxymoron. They are trusting God because they believe their prayers will be heard..

So why don't many single Christian woman believe and trust in this verse?

 

[Poohbear]

Alicialynn86 - I didn't say anyone was wrong. Just because my view is different doesn't mean everyone else is wrong. Don't put extra words in my mouth.

Are these the same women posting about this over and over? I dont think so. They could be newbies posting for their first time..

And a part of "letting go" is bring things before God in prayer. Who said anyone was crying about this? I just think its alot of assumptions going on..

And yes people can have that without marriage, but these are things that people can marry for...it does not make it wrong...

Just because others may not have the same view as you, does not make them wrong...

Some could say the same thing about hair growth. Some say,Why do people put some emphasis on the hair care regimen? Why they measure their hair every month or even measure they hair period? Some may say why do yall pay 6.50 to discuss hair? Some say Why do yall posts pics of yall in yall bra and post them on the internet to show how long yall hair is?Some will just say "girl slap some grease on it and go"? But because you spend a little more time on it than others may do, does that make you wrong? No because you desire long and healthy hair.. So because these women pray about marriage more than you, does this make the wrong? No, because it's their desire....

 

[Poohbear]

So you think because they are praying about it, they are not trusting God??

Thats an oxymoron. They are trusting God because they believe their prayers will be heard..

You said because they believe their prayers will be heard... what about believing their prayers will be done?

 

[LucieLoo12]

@Alicialynn86
It came from the fact that I think it's sad that I keep seeing all of these single women praying for something that does not exist... a godly husband. No man is godly or perfect. Yes there are good men out there but not godly, holy men that are God-like.

Not only that, but why is so so SO much focused put on wanting a husband so so SO bad!? Why isn't there much focus on Jesus Christ in this world? I think that's why people are so messed up because there is so much pressure put on single women about getting married and they feel like marriage is the end all be all goal in life.

@Laela

You're confusing what I'm saying. I'm just not good at expressing my thoughts very well and they can be misunderstood.

A godly man IS perfect and holy.

When I said no man is holy, I was talking about the men that most
"Christian" women think are holy.

Im confused

 

[LucieLoo12]

You said because they believe their prayers will be heard... what about believing their prayers will be done?

It takes great faith to go back to God repeatedly about something, that means you are expecting God to answer.
Not believing is when you stop praying and go take care of the issue on your own.

Even Paul in the bible said he had a thorn in his flesh, that he sought God THRICE (three times) for....

Jacob wrestled with the angel all night long. Some say man just give up and leave it alone. But Jacob wanted something from God.

have you ever read the book of psalms? How david mourned and wept to God because of his enemies that was after him? Some say "Man be quiet, God heard you, he gone move", but david went back again and again, again...until he need was met.

 

[Poohbear]

Im confused

Alicialynn86
Most Christian women think a godly man is someone that doesn't have to be perfect or live holy, they think a godly man is a man that praises and worships God and goes to church every Sunday and bible study and participates in church ministries. That to me is not godly. So in that respect, there are no godly men.

However, a godly man to me is one that is perfect and holy and believes and confesses the Lord Jesus and does not commit wilful sin.

It may not make sense and I'm not sure how else to make it make sense but that's all I can express from my mind. I'm not always good with words.

 

[LucieLoo12]

@Alicialynn86 - I didn't say anyone was wrong. Just because my view is different doesn't mean everyone else is wrong. Don't put extra words in my mouth.

then if what is going here is not wrong..whats the issue then?

 

[Rainbow Dash]

@Alicialynn86
Most Christian women think a godly man is someone that doesn't have to be perfect or live holy, they think a godly man is a man that praises and worships God and goes to church every Sunday and bible study and participates in church ministries. That to me is not godly. So in that respect, there are no godly men.

However, a godly man to me is one that is perfect and holy and believes and confesses the Lord Jesus and does not commit wilful sin.

It may not make sense and I'm not sure how else to make it make sense but that's all I can express from my mind. I'm not always good with words.

So Poohbear, you're saying that just because a man is doing all this outward stuff, like going to church, praising, and raising hands, does not always mean he is godly? And you are correct.

Some people are just religious but still bound by secret sin. It's about whether this person is truly living for Christ inwardly and relying on Christ's strength to live holy. It takes discernment to know if a man is truly of God. God will reveal these things when we are sensitive to Him and we ask Him.

 

[LucieLoo12]

I think I get what you are saying. You are saying based on the perception of what society or other's may feel is a godly man,is not a godly man. In your eyes their is none if thats the standard its being based on..

But i guess what I am saying is, that perception of the that "godly" man (one who just praises God in church)was never mentioned in this thread......

@Alicialynn86
Most Christian women think a godly man is someone that doesn't have to be perfect or live holy, they think a godly man is a man that praises and worships God and goes to church every Sunday and bible study and participates in church ministries. That to me is not godly. So in that respect, there are no godly men.

However, a godly man to me is one that is perfect and holy and believes and confesses the Lord Jesus and does not commit wilful sin.

It may not make sense and I'm not sure how else to make it make sense but that's all I can express from my mind. I'm not always good with words.

 

[auparavant]

You said because they believe their prayers will be heard... what about believing their prayers will be done?

I Thessalonians 5:17

"pray without ceasing"

That doesn't equate with doubt and lack of faith. You pray until you get. I'm very open with G-d about my sexuality and if I'm having a particularly hard day with desiring sex with my future hubbie, I express it. It's hormonal but can be quenched to a controllable level with prayer.

 

[Poohbear]

then if what is going here is not wrong..whats the issue then?

I don't have an issue with anyone here. I just expressed my thoughts about single ladies should be asking for sex when it comes to praying for a husband and marriage, and it was turned into a negative thing. I feel like women should be honest with themselves when it comes to desiring marriage. Sex does play into your desire for marriage no matter how much you want to deny it. I know sex is something I want in my marriage with my future husband. You made it like I have an issue, just like in the interracial relationship thread.

 

[auparavant]

I don't have an issue with anyone here. I just expressed my thoughts about single ladies should be asking for sex when it comes to praying for a husband and marriage, and it was turned into a negative thing. I feel like women should be honest with themselves when it comes to desiring marriage. Sex does play into your desire for marriage no matter how much you want to deny it. I know sex is something I want in my marriage with my future husband. You made it like I have an issue, just like in the interracial relationship thread.

LOL. It was your delivery. I don't just ask for sex, I ask for a kind, genuine-hearted, stable etc. husband and good sex. I ask that his tools are rightly apportioned. Honestly, you missed the mark on how to respond with your point. You were making it like others had an issue if they did desire sex. The IR thread...you have an issue with people with mental and emotinal imbalance...but using the term "like" gives a different meaning towards being in tune with G-d's view on that issue. I think I knew what you meant but that, at the same time, there was a tinge of prejudice against it when we don't know why anyone else we don't know married somebody of a different skin tone/ethnicity.