Signs you should call off the wedding: From Ask Men

[Almaz]

http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_150/174_dating_advice.html


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Signs You Should Call Off the Wedding


Signs You Should Call Off the Wedding

By Gary Jackson Relationship CorrespondentEvery other Monday

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Signs to call off the wedding
At some point in our lives, we want to quit "the game" and settle down with that one special lady. Marriage is a word that we all dread until suddenly, one day, it all makes sense and you pop the big question.

The big day -- your wedding -- is probably one of the most stressful events you will have to go through. And quite understandably, there may be a voice in the back of your mind asking, ”What the hell am I doing?” Approximately half of all marriages end in divorce, so it's sensible to double-check that your very last pickup is the perfect woman for you.

Your buddies may tell you to look at your potential mother-in-law to see what your future wife will become -- a classic warning sign. But if that's not enough, here are a few more signs that you should consider calling off the wedding.
She has pre-wedding stress

Granted, the wedding is a very stressful affair -- we’ll give her that much. But as you wave goodbye to all the joys and memories of single life, this is the day that she has dreamed about since she figured out boys could do more than just pull her pigtails. Your bride-to-be has probably thought about it, planned it and talked about it for hour upon hour since she made that wedding scrapbook when she was 9 years old.

How she deals with seeing this dream come to life is crucial. Of course, she's going to reach stress levels you just won't understand, and for the most part it's best to nod as often as possible and ride out the storm. But there are limits. Stressful times can bring out the worst in people. Any veins of selfishness, vanity and shallowness -- the flaws you feared most -- will come bubbling to the surface.

If the wedding turns your girl into some kind of horrific Bridezilla, alarm bells should ring. This is the person you are hoping to spend the rest of your life with and if one day causes her personality to morph so completely you may want to ask yourself if she's really The One.
She's against the bachelor party

Flowers? Seating arrangements? Color schemes? These “vital elements” of the wedding probably aren't the things you're looking forward to the most. The bachelor party? Now we're talking... The stag night is every man’s right. This last hoorah is your farewell to the single life in the company of your finest friends. It doesn't matter if it's a relaxing camping trip or a weekend of debauchery in Amsterdam, the bachelor party marks your passage into the married world.

So an attempt by your fiancée to veto this is very worrying. “If you love me, you won't want to spend a night in a strip club” or “I don't trust what your friends will do to you” may sound sensible, but should be resisted. She has spent years dreaming about the wedding and you have spent years dreaming about your bachelor party.

This may be a glimpse into your future; you won’t be going on that bar crawl for Johnny's birthday, there will be no Saturday night poker or football game, and Frank's bachelor party? Forget it.

No bachelor party means no marriage.

If she's already picking out your outfits and your kids' names, it's time to get out... Next Page >>


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[JustKiya]

If either party discovers that the other is selfish, cruel, vain, controlling, smothering and/or shallow, and y'all haven't had discussions around what is and is not appropriate within the context of your relationship - then yeah, ya'll most likely shouldn't be getting married. Whether it's the man or the woman who has these faults.

the website is blocked at work, so I can't see the second page of stuff, or the picture.

 

[Vinyl]

I didn't read the rest of the article because it didn't load, but I already disagree with the first two. It's possible to have a bachelor party without going to a strip club, and no strip club doesn't = no nights out with your friends, ever.

And if the bride turns into a bridezilla and it's enough for him to call off the wedding, he probably wasn't ready in the first place. Either he didn't know her well enough to know she could be that way, or she normally isn't that way and he's likely to go running towards the hills if she goes through a super-stressful time. (So I guess I do agree with the first one, just not for the same reasons.)

 

[aribell]

I think the character traits the author describes and warns against would have manifested themselves well before the engagement and wedding.

 

[Kurlee]

this article is full of crap. Lots of mens magazines i read are full of crap

 

[tiara76]

LOL I was cleaning my keyboard keys..didnt realize it posted that randomness...but it pretty much sums up what I think of the article.....

there are alot of folks who got married who maybe should of thought twice before they did it or decided not to...I only read the first page and so far neither of those are "valid" reasons to call off a wedding to me

unresolved insecurities
trust issues (tripping over a bachelor party could fall into that category)
fronting and denials of real reasons why you are with somebody
fear
settling for less than what you really want
etc

those may be better reasons to think twice about vowing your life to somebody else

 

[UmSumayyah]

I'm surprised.

I pretty much agreed with all of it.

Though, as someone upthread mentioned, there would most likely have been signs of incompatibility before wedding planning began.

 

[Squikee]

I don't like the fact that the author assumes all women fantasize about their wedding day from a very young age. I've never thought about my wedding day and I still don't think about it now. I'm in a great relationship that will probably lead to marriage but I have no idea what all goes into a wedding or what we'll have. When the time comes, I hope both of us will take part in making our wedding day special to both of us . . . not just me. Besides, isn't that what marriage is about?

 

[MD_Lady]

Askmen.com is worse than Cosmo.

 

[Vinyl]

I don't like the fact that the author assumes all women fantasize about their wedding day from a very young age. I've never thought about my wedding day and I still don't think about it now. I'm in a great relationship that will probably lead to marriage but I have no idea what all goes into a wedding or what we'll have. When the time comes, I hope both of us will take part in making our wedding day special to both of us . . . not just me. Besides, isn't that what marriage is about?

I'm the same way, lol. I do fantasize about what the day will be like occasionally, but I'm nineteen and didn't start that until I was eighteen. I'm a late daydream-bloomer.