sick of it, sick of it! (rant)

[pattycake0701]

First off as we have the same exact hair, like we are totally hair twins, so I know EXACTLY what you are going through. See, I can deal with the multiple textures, the tightness, the frizz, the dryness, the lack of sheen, and the shrinkage...but what is making my booty itch is them dang tangles, knots and unintentional dreds. Its so bad that I'm bout to say *** it and get a relaxer...as a matter of fact, I would have relaxed last weekend if my scalp wasn't so sore and itchy.

Hang in there, your hair is nice and healthy and lush, and you appear to be doing a great job caring for it. And for what its worth, I truly do think your twists are pretty

 

[TrustMeLove]

My twist look like your twist. I didn't know that they were so ugly.


I don't have those huge thick fluffy can't see the scalp twist. I thought something was wrong with my hai, but it has always been like that...

I was happy when I saw someone else on the boards with twist like mine. I finally felt lke my hair was normal.

 

[anon123]

My twist look like your twist. I didn't know that they were so ugly.


I don't have those huge thick fluffy can't see the scalp twist. I thought something was wrong with my hai, but it has always been like that...

I was happy when I saw someone else on the boards with twist like mine. I finally felt lke my hair was normal.

oh noooo! i don't know what to say. it's just not a look i like, esp. since i can't part. actually, i've never seen anyone with twists that look like mine. can i see?

 

[KEWLKAT103]

Awww, I'm so sorry you feel this way.

I really felt your frustration reading that. I imagined you something like this

I don't have any suggestions just this

Oh yeah and forgive me for saying it, but I Luuuurve your hair

 

[Nonie]

oh noooo! i don't know what to say. it's just not a look i like, esp. since i can't part. actually, i've never seen anyone with twists that look like mine. can i see?

Mwedzi, my twists look like yours when I first do them. But you never see them like that because immediately after I'm done twisting, I CW or just dunk my head in an ACV solution so the twists. The idea for this is so that they can drip-dry and therefore hang straight. But this also makes them swell up a bit as they shrink and therefore appear fatter. This also adds weight so they hang down better.

I no longer part with a comb because I think that makes your scalp show more. In your pic, I don't see your scalp at all and that's something I'd be so happy for. I think the other thing that makes you not like your twists is because they are thick sections. The sets of twists I did are smaller than the ones I normally do and they appear more "compact" than my usual twists.

My usual twists parted with a comb after many washes (notice the spaces between them and how much of my scalp you can see):

My current twists parted with a finger and made much smaller than the above after one CW (notice you can hardly see my scalp but also the twists haven't yet gotten that "cute" look yet since it's only been one wash; but they are definitely better than when I immediately did them).

The pic below shows one twist that I redid after washing my hair. Notice how skinny and ugly it is. A few dunks in water will make it shrink and appear thicker, straighter and less ugly IMO.

 

[anon123]

Nonie, I'm gonna get you good! Didnt I say in the first post I've given up on twists as being my saviour? I can't believe you think my sections are too big. I never do less than 70 twists! Maybe they look big because I have a lot of hair (density), maybe I need to do like 100! But that won't help with the time saving problem, and for some reason, smaller twists want to lock up faster after washing. And then you tell me to dunk them right after doing them when I just told y'all that I can get my hair wet a max of 2 times when in twists. You tryna knock a week off the already short time I can keep them in. grrrrrrl, (it's all love, though )

 

[Ms Lala]

Awww. I am so sorry your are feeling this way. I feel this way sometimes too. It takes me 8 hours or longer to twist my hair like in my siggy so I understand. I've been wearing braidouts lately to save time. It is frustrating to spend hours doing your hair, only to be disappointed with the results. When I get like this I braid my hair up and wear quick weave for a week or 2 until I get over my frustration. I think your hair is gorgeous and you have given me great advice so please don't give up.

 

[cocosweet]

That rant was HILARIOUS! I've been the girl standing on the edge of the cliff holding clippers ready to shave it all off due to frustration. I've been exactly where you are. Lots of folks would kill to have your hair.

When I want to twist up my hair, I just finger part it. I've got big hair too so, it would take too dang long trying to be all precise and what not. I've also accepted that hair day is exactly that. A whole working day!

 

[Nonie]

Nonie, I'm gonna get you good! Didnt I say in the first post I've given up on twists as being my saviour? I can't believe you think my sections are too big. I never do less than 70 twists! Maybe they look big because I have a lot of hair (density), maybe I need to do like 100! But that won't help with the time saving problem, and for some reason, smaller twists want to lock up faster after washing. And then you tell me to dunk them right after doing them when I just told y'all that I can get my hair wet a max of 2 times when in twists. You tryna knock a week off the already short time I can keep them in. grrrrrrl, (it's all love, though )

My bad I forgot we have the issue with water and loc'ing up.

But 70 is nuffin. I counted mine in my current do which isn't even my full head, keeping in mind that I have less hair than you have, and my twists total 119! But you're right, until we figure out how to stop the loc'ing, then twists are a no go. Maybe y'all should try not using products. Maybe that's the secret.

 

[laurend]

Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side of the fence but it's not. Mwedzi you have to look at your strengths, you are very creative with your hairstyles and you are probably the most creative on the board. I wish I had your creativity and desire for new hairstyles. You met me and all I have are my buns and twistouts. I hope the trip to SA didn't make you think your twist were ugly.

 

[TG2000]

Aww! Your hair is beautiful! Most people envy thick hair. Big hugs to you! Btw, the way you delivered the story was funny!

 

[QueenT]

I think your looks great!

 

[B_sWife79]

I am so sorry you're feeling so bad about your hair right now. I think I do see the issue you're having with the twists - its LONGER! It does seem like when each one is longer it is able to move and doesn't just fill up all the "available" space. Its hard to explain without a picture but I think you know what I mean, when its shorter there's an overall roundness to the finished look, but when the hair is longer the overall shape is more rectangular so it shows when they're not all going where you hoped they would. How about using a clip to create like a french roll in the back with some more loosely held by the clip at the top. I think it'd get the twists so that they're more held together when you let them down and be a cute style while they're up.

I know you're frustrated, but I think that this particular frustration is a sign of yet more length which is a wonderful thing!

 

[B_sWife79]

See, like this...this is what I meant...

See, like this...this is what I meant...

Mwedzi, my twists look like yours when I first do them. But you never see them like that because immediately after I'm done twisting, I CW or just dunk my head in an ACV solution so the twists. The idea for this is so that they can drip-dry and therefore hang straight. But this also makes them swell up a bit as they shrink and therefore appear fatter. This also adds weight so they hang down better.

I think this part explains exactly what I was trying to say...Really though, your hair is doing so well. It is a lot of work, but I think its really worth it. Maybe you'll find some time saving ideas on here that work for you. This one about "dunking" seems like exactly what you're looking for...there's so much help on here its amazing! I love how you phrased your post, it was in such good cheer and even had humor, I find that with my hair, I need humor to keep me sane!

I no longer part with a comb because I think that makes your scalp show more. In your pic, I don't see your scalp at all and that's something I'd be so happy for. I think the other thing that makes you not like your twists is because they are thick sections. The sets of twists I did are smaller than the ones I normally do and they appear more "compact" than my usual twists.

My usual twists parted with a comb after many washes (notice the spaces between them and how much of my scalp you can see):

My current twists parted with a finger and made much smaller than the above after one CW (notice you can hardly see my scalp but also the twists haven't yet gotten that "cute" look yet since it's only been one wash; but they are definitely better than the when I immediately did them).

The pic below shows one twist that I redid after washing my hair. Notice how skinny and ugly it is. A few dunks in water will make it shrink and appear thicker, straighter and less ugly IMO.

 

[Carrie A]

BIG CHOP BiG CHOP NOW!!!

ETA: SORRY I juat back frpm a Christmas party. Too much Rum punch. I'm typing this for evry body.

 

[Nonie]

BIG CHOP BiG CHOP NOW!!!

ETA: SORRY I juat back frpm a Christmas party. Too much Rum punch. I'm typing this for evry body.

Super Nanny needs to get you in check and send you to the naughty step pronto.

You green-eyed monster you!

ETA: Yep, you sho are well-oiled as one can (hic) tell from (hic) your typing (hic).

 

[santwon]

Wow, sorry I missed this one. My twists look like that too. This will be long...

Mwedzi, honestly, you get the "carpet look" when the parts are that big. That's why I did micro twists for so long. I only stopped doing them recently because it takes SO long, but the bigger twists look so dumb/bad to me. And honestly, I'm more willing to sacrifice looking cute to myself and finishing my hair in 1 day instead of several -- none of my coworkers have said anything, so I tell myself it's okay. I'd kill for your length, though, cuz then at least the bigger twists would hide the scalp and look aight (if they were larger). PLUS, it'd help hide the fact that the texture in the middle of the back of my head is thinner which makes me really self conscious because I look like I have NO hair in the back of my head when it shrinks.

Nonie - when you do the smaller twists, the twistouts just don't GET as fluffy. Not for me, leastways.

I saw this video and literally had to stop, pull my jaw back up, grab a glass of water and keep watching. My hair would NEVER let me behave like that. Never. Not if I didn't have a free WEEK ahead of me!! By the time I got to the 48 second mark, she'd already surpassed anything that my hair would let me do.

Okay, a couple questions... what products are you using to moisturize and how often are you doing so? Do you still not deep condition? Because, I had a long search session where I saw that most people are moisturizing with stuff that has oil in it. Which just made my hair greasy (duh, right?). So I really got into the Lily of the desert aloe vera gel, I put some coconut oil on top of that. I'm about to change that though because I saw the thread about the girl's hair freezing from coconut oil and today's high is 21(!!!!!) -- I can't afford to play those kinds of games with myself.

Second, how are you ends? Single strand knots? Any splits?

Thirdly, is your hair tangling, shedding, or both? Cuz my hair sheds OUT the frame. And the shedding causes the tangles. I lose about the size of a small furry animal a day. It's STILL thick though, somehow. I just don't get it. And the shedding causes tangles cuz the shed hair CAN'T get out.

Fourth, have you tried the bantu knots? Those can stretch your hair out and give it some wave (when/if you let it loose). You're in South Africa so it's warm...you may want to try the Curly Fro or side flat twists or maybe the two cornrows on each side. Or you could try a puff with the puff part turned into the t-word you won't let me suggest or braids. You can do a side puff.

So yeah, I just don't wash my hair loose anymore. I'm amazed when I see/hear about people whose hair looks like mine do that. It just doesn't work in my favor.

Oh, and on the washing thing. I usually wear my twists for like 2 weeks. Mine start to look fuzzy too, Kiya. I hate the fuzzies. I'm all about the "just done" look. Plus, a lot of mine start to get 2-legged at the ends when they've been washed. And then others start acting like they've listened to too many McCain debates "reaching across the aisle". I haven't tried the Nonie method yet...but I just may.

So yeah, those are my thoughts. I'll have to take some pictures of my fuzzy twists and stuff. But Nonie, if my fuzzy ones looked like yours...I'd be SO thankful.

 

[JustKiya]

I saw this video and literally had to stop, pull my jaw back up, grab a glass of water and keep watching. My hair would NEVER let me behave like that. Never. Not if I didn't have a free WEEK ahead of me!! By the time I got to the 48 second mark, she'd already surpassed anything that my hair would let me do.

Seriously? Even if it was fresh out of a twist out, and had been fully detangled before going into the twists? And was totally dry?

Dang, I need to stop talking then, because that's MY hair. Right there - assuming that I've been fully detangling, and that's fresh out of twists/stretched and it's been oiled. That's actually the first time I've seen anyone with hair that 'moves' like mine does - her hair looks totally dry, too. I wonder how it was styled before she started.

I can only leave my hair like that for about 30 minutes, though, before the humidity (no matter how low) makes my ends start to shrink and tangle around each other, again.

But see, the thing is, my hair is - I don't know - it hasn't always been like that, at all. I really think it's the overall process that lets me do that - and, yeah, partially my hair, too.

:scratchch

You've started a fascinating thread, Mwedzi....


ETA: Okay, after watching the whole video, I see one major difference. After she detangles, she just - leaves her hair there. If I did that, by the time I was done detangling, it wouldn't make any difference, as my hair would have retangled.
Also, that's just the start of detangling - I wouldn't consider my hair 'detangled' at all, at the point that she finished.
And oh my gods, she went under the dryer with LOOSE hair? Yeah, that would make all that detangling totally pointless, for me. And, her hair was still just as detangled when she was done! Now, I'm jealous.

Never thought about the fact that there are different rates of shrinkage (time wise) just as there are different levels of shrinkage (percentage time) - I have joked that my hair shrinks up so fast I think I can hear it, but now seeing that....... Hrm. Most interesting!

 

[NuMe2004]

Your post is funny . I can feel you on some parts, but on a serious note, your hair is beautiful. Please don't give up on it. It'll get easier to deal with over time, you'll see.

 

[santwon]

Seriously? Even if it was fresh out of a twist out, and had been fully detangled before going into the twists? And was totally dry?

Girl! My hair would not care if it was fresh out of the WOMB! It would NOT be going.

Sometimes I can hear my hair singing "we shall not be moved" and "we shall overcome someday".

 

[Tranquility]

I missed this one. Great thread. Hope you are feeling better.

 

[Muse]

I am sending this rant out to hair cyberspace. I just need someone to read it, note it, maybe do a little of this , and that's all.

I am so %$@! tired of my hair. I am sick of it, sick, sick, sick of it. I HATE it, do you hear me, I hhaaaaaaaate it. Curse you hair, curse to the fiery underworld (it's hard complying to the no cursing rule when you want to rant). I am sick and tired of hair that takes me hours to do, I hate it! I washed and detangled and put into fat twists to dry yesterday and it took me 2 hours total, which is good for me, but not good enough. You hear that, hair, not. good. enough.!!! I hate that my choices are to either spend hours on my hair or to shave it down like a dude. That's some bullfeces right there, that's what that is. Don't even say twists to me. I do not want to hear the word "twists" come out of anybody's mouth, okay. Cuz you know why? my twists are *****. No, no, forget this bullfeces about it's normal, it's all good. That's a lie, a dirty dirty poopypants lie! This right here, this is ugly! This is not "alright". And this took me 3 or 4 hours to do! Why in the world am I spending so much time for some ugly-booty hair, huh? Uh uh, I do not want to sit and spend that much time with my hair, it is refriggingdiculous to spend that much time doing hair. What in the world?! And it doesn't cut down on the detangling time, either. I spent about an hour and a half detangling hair that I had worn out in a twist out all week. That's normally what it takes for me to take hair out of twists and detangle anyway. Where's the time saving, huh, where is it?!?! I know I have to accept my hair texture cuz it ain't gonna change. But on a day like today I hate it. I want the "difficult" type 3 hair that takes 10 "difficult" minutes to do, that's what I want. Booo, to my hair, boooooooooo! What next, sit down for 8 hours so someone can torture me and I can fight back the tears while they braid fake hair into mine?! I guess that's next, yep, guess that's what I have to do, stupid hair. Booo!

OMG! I laughed so hard when I read your rant my boyfriend said he'd never seen me laugh so hard! I had tears in my eyes. I told him it was because some of the words you used and most of all because I can relate!

I feel you on wanting the *difficult* 3b/c hair, heck I'd even take 4a! I feel my options are very limited (no i don't like afros, corn rows, I look a mess in twists). Alas I have no advice for you because I'm in the same boat and looking for an answer as well.

 

[Nonie]

No longer making a suggestion to twist but I wanted to post these pics so you can see that my twists before I wet them don't look so hawt. I think doing many helps a little but that means they'll be even skinnier ...that is, until after a few washes when they fatten up a little. Even one wash gives them a better look IMHO (Top pics show freshly done twists; bottom pics show the same twists after a CW and drip-drying):

ETA: Santwon, my twists also get the two legs of which you speak. I just press those two ends together and kinda roll them between fingers so they intertwine as two springs might if pressed together.

 

[anon123]

Okay, all, I also want to say that this is not a plea for help. You don't have to give me advice. I just wanted to yell and have somebody hear it. Not to put down anyone's advice, but I just don't think any of it will work. To be honest, I've tried most everything by now. I give up.

Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side of the fence but it's not. Mwedzi you have to look at your strengths, you are very creative with your hairstyles and you are probably the most creative on the board. I wish I had your creativity and desire for new hairstyles. You met me and all I have are my buns and twistouts. I hope the trip to SA didn't make you think your twist were ugly.

No, not at all. As far as looks go, my hair-esteem has never been higher.

Wow, sorry I missed this one. My twists look like that too. This will be long...

Mwedzi, honestly, you get the "carpet look" when the parts are that big. That's why I did micro twists for so long. I only stopped doing them recently because it takes SO long, but the bigger twists look so dumb/bad to me. And honestly, I'm more willing to sacrifice looking cute to myself and finishing my hair in 1 day instead of several -- none of my coworkers have said anything, so I tell myself it's okay. I'd kill for your length, though, cuz then at least the bigger twists would hide the scalp and look aight (if they were larger). PLUS, it'd help hide the fact that the texture in the middle of the back of my head is thinner which makes me really self conscious because I look like I have NO hair in the back of my head when it shrinks.

Nonie - when you do the smaller twists, the twistouts just don't GET as fluffy. Not for me, leastways.

I saw this video and literally had to stop, pull my jaw back up, grab a glass of water and keep watching. My hair would NEVER let me behave like that. Never. Not if I didn't have a free WEEK ahead of me!! By the time I got to the 48 second mark, she'd already surpassed anything that my hair would let me do.

Okay, a couple questions... what products are you using to moisturize and how often are you doing so? Do you still not deep condition? Because, I had a long search session where I saw that most people are moisturizing with stuff that has oil in it. Which just made my hair greasy (duh, right?). So I really got into the Lily of the desert aloe vera gel, I put some coconut oil on top of that. I'm about to change that though because I saw the thread about the girl's hair freezing from coconut oil and today's high is 21(!!!!!) -- I can't afford to play those kinds of games with myself.

Second, how are you ends? Single strand knots? Any splits?

Thirdly, is your hair tangling, shedding, or both? Cuz my hair sheds OUT the frame. And the shedding causes the tangles. I lose about the size of a small furry animal a day. It's STILL thick though, somehow. I just don't get it. And the shedding causes tangles cuz the shed hair CAN'T get out.

Fourth, have you tried the bantu knots? Those can stretch your hair out and give it some wave (when/if you let it loose). You're in South Africa so it's warm...you may want to try the Curly Fro or side flat twists or maybe the two cornrows on each side. Or you could try a puff with the puff part turned into the t-word you won't let me suggest or braids. You can do a side puff.

So yeah, I just don't wash my hair loose anymore. I'm amazed when I see/hear about people whose hair looks like mine do that. It just doesn't work in my favor.

Oh, and on the washing thing. I usually wear my twists for like 2 weeks. Mine start to look fuzzy too, Kiya. I hate the fuzzies. I'm all about the "just done" look. Plus, a lot of mine start to get 2-legged at the ends when they've been washed. And then others start acting like they've listened to too many McCain debates "reaching across the aisle". I haven't tried the Nonie method yet...but I just may.

So yeah, those are my thoughts. I'll have to take some pictures of my fuzzy twists and stuff. But Nonie, if my fuzzy ones looked like yours...I'd be SO thankful.

I do about 75 twists. I won't do them smaller because that would take longer and I'm trying to cut down on time. As it is they take too long and I am not willing to do them that often. Nonie, I can't believe you do 120 and you part for all of them. I know you say you don't part but every picture I've seen shows parts.

Still not sure what counts as deep conditioning, but I use Aveda Damage Remedy. These days I am using Oyin Whipped Pudding and castor oil to "moisturize", though I'm still not sure what that means, either. I apply after washing and 1-2 times further during the week. I wash weekly.

My ends. I don't have splits. Or rather, I've seen about 5 splits in the last year. I have tons of single strand knots. It is pointless to cut them out. As you know, I cut quite a bit at the end of Aug., 2-5". They were still there, and after about a month everything was the same.

I have tried bantu knots and they do stretch the hair out, but I don't know what to do afterwards. Whatever I do afterwards requires more manipulation than my twist out so and during the manipulation, my hair gets more tangled. I'm wearing chunky twist outs here.

I will sometimes wash loose. It doesn't make that huge of a difference for me. Washing in twists does help, but it's not a life-changer, if you know what I mean. So I usually wash in twists. Because it's not that the hair tangles so much while washing. It's already tangled before I start washing, so twisting it doesn't matter.

Girl! My hair would not care if it was fresh out of the WOMB! It would NOT be going.

Sometimes I can hear my hair singing "we shall not be moved" and "we shall overcome someday".

That was

No longer making a suggestion to twist but I wanted to post these pics so you can see that my twists before I wet them don't look so hawt. I think doing many helps a little but that means they'll be even skinnier ...that is, until after a few washes when they fatten up a little. Even one wash gives them a better look IMHO (Top pics show freshly done twists; bottom pics show the same twists after a CW and drip-drying):

ETA: Santwon, my twists also get the two legs of which you speak. I just press those two ends together and kinda roll them between fingers so they intertwine as two springs might if pressed together.

Thanks for those pics. They are really skinny before you dunk them.

 

[phyl73]

Now I know I shouldn't have been laughing, but your colorful choice of words had me laughing. I could see you pointing at your hair saying, "BOOOOOOOO!" I really needed a laugh. I love your big hair. If lived near you, I would help you detangle it twice a month so that you could take a break. It's lovely....but here is a big .

 

[Carrie A]

SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOTTA GET IT OUT.

ALL TOGETHER NOW
RELAX!
RELATE!
RELEASE!

 

[Nonie]

Nonie - when you do the smaller twists, the twistouts just don't GET as fluffy. Not for me, leastways.

My problem isn't just the fact that they are small. Rather my twisting method means that the separate strands become like wavy locs. Even if I did them plump (and I have), the twist-out is just wavy branches. No fluff whatsoever. And if you try to untwist the strands, you don't get the uniform waves you would get if you just twisted w/o twisting the single strands first. But I am to chicken to do it the right way for a good fluffy twist-out. Tangles are something I dread big time.

 

[missykeyana]

Everyone here has already said what I am thinking so I'll just give you a

 

[lashannasmall]

Been there girl. That is why I dreded my hair after I did my first big chop. I say go to the Beauty supply and buy about 4 bags of kinky marley braid hair and do some big fat twists and let your hair rest for awhile. That is what I am doing now and it is super easy. People will probably think it is your hair anyway since your hair is already so long.

 

[Pryncez524]

Aww I'm sorry. You're profile picture is so pretty tho : )