Should I text/call first...

[FlawedBeauty]

so i was superbored yesterday and was browsin around on myspace and i saw a cute dude so i sent him a quick message and he replied back. i responded back saying that im not much of a myspacer at all so if he'd like gimme a call and left my #. he responded with sounds good and gave me his. so putting the rules aside cuz im not a rules chick and im pretty sure they say wait on him, would it be wrong of me to call first? this was yesterday btw.

 

[-Volare]

Well if you're not a rules chick then go for it! I usually don't text/call first (not because of rules) but that's just how I've always been. I like to be chased first and then I'll take it from there.

ETA- But if you're gonna call, I'd wait atleast a couple of days.

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

You've already gave out your number to him first. If that wasn't a problem for you, then i don't see how calling/texting first would be a problem.

 

[FlawedBeauty]

so true. i just hate the idea of draggin out a back and forth messaging convo on the computer. i like to get straight to the point lol

You've already gave out your number to him first. If that wasn't a problem for you, then i don't see how calling/texting first would be a problem.

 

[Poohbear]

With all rules put aside, I think you should call first instead of texting if you want to get straight to the point.

 

[FlawedBeauty]

thanks pooh!! lifes too short for me to play with rules! i like to get out there and make it happen' capin' lol

With all rules put aside, I think you should call first instead of texting if you want to get straight to the point.

 

[topsyturvy86]

I'm not a rules girl either but i'd say let him call in this instance. You initiated the messaging so let him call/text so you don't look too keen.

 

[FlawedBeauty]

thanks! yea i was thinkin this too. my only problem is i dunno if i caught hold of a shy one or not, which i was thinkin could be why he gave me his number too knowing he would be too chicken to call lol.

I'm not a rules girl either but i'd say let him call in this instance. You initiated the messaging so let him call/text so you don't look too keen.

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

so true. i just hate the idea of draggin out a back and forth messaging convo on the computer. i like to get straight to the point lol

I can understand that, the texting and im's can be really time consuming.

 

[FlawedBeauty]

yea! and its like so many ppl wanna text and IM all day that by the time u get to actually meet the person theres nothin left to talk about!

I can understand that, the texting and im's can be really time consuming.

 

[Country gal]

Well if you're not a rules chick then go for it! I usually don't text/call first (not because of rules) but that's just how I've always been. I like to be chased first and then I'll take it from there.

ETA- But if you're gonna call, I'd wait atleast a couple of days.

I like to be chased too. I like for a man to pursue me. When I pursue a man it never works out well for me. I give guys my number and let them call me up.

 

[topsyturvy86]

thanks! yea i was thinkin this too. my only problem is i dunno if i caught hold of a shy one or not, which i was thinkin could be why he gave me his number too knowing he would be too chicken to call lol.

Nah, even then. If he's shy and wants to get in touch, he'll text ... it might take a few days but he'll get in touch somehow. If you call/text first considering you messaged first, it could kinda set the tone for your friendship/relationship.

 

[simone103]

I think you've done enough by giving him your phone number. The ball is now in his court - let him chase you.

 

[FlawedBeauty]

So what are your views on why he would message me back with his number instead of just callin me when ready? i kinda read it as him knowing he didnt have the balls so gave off his instead hopin i would make the first move if that makes sense.

 

[-Volare]

So what are your views on why he would message me back with his number instead of just callin me when ready? i kinda read it as him knowing he didnt have the balls so gave off his instead hopin i would make the first move if that makes sense.

He might be shy, he might hate talking on the phone, he might prefer you be the initiator (you said he was hot so he might be used to/like girls chasing him), there are all kinds of reasons he might have done it.

 

[simone103]

So what are your views on why he would message me back with his number instead of just callin me when ready? i kinda read it as him knowing he didnt have the balls so gave off his instead hopin i would make the first move if that makes sense.

Honestly, I think he probably just gave you his number because you gave him yours.

 

[-Volare]

Honestly, I think he probably just gave you his number because you gave him yours.

You know what and this goes along with my whole thing about being chased. Guys tend to go with the flow moreso than girls. Girls are brutally honest (the majority atleast) and will let you know right off the bat if she's not interested in you.
"No you can't have my number"
"I'm not interested."
"I have a man." (even if you don't)
"I'm a lesbian" (even if you arent) < my friend uses that all the time lol.

That's why I prefer to be chased.

 

[Bunny77]

So what are your views on why he would message me back with his number instead of just callin me when ready? i kinda read it as him knowing he didnt have the balls so gave off his instead hopin i would make the first move if that makes sense.

Ugh, I don't even like to be bothered with guys who "don't have the balls."

But that's just me.

 

[hopeful]

So what are your views on why he would message me back with his number instead of just callin me when ready? i kinda read it as him knowing he didnt have the balls so gave off his instead hopin i would make the first move if that makes sense.

I'm glad you wrote this because I was wondering what was holding you back since you don't like following the rules. I want to make sure that I'm clear: this a random guy whose myspace you found while browsing? You don't know him and have never seen him in person? If those things are right then I don't blame him for not calling, you are a stranger that he knows nothing about. It's like walking up to a complete stranger, say a few words, then tell them to call you. But he doesn't even have the benefit of seeing you in person or knowing what kind of person you are. I doubt he will ever call you.

ETA: I think he gave you his # to be polite. I think you should have messaged back and forth for a week or two first to see if it would have progressed to something more. I think you are being too forward with a complete stranger imo.

 

[Country gal]

Ugh, I don't even like to be bothered with guys who "don't have the balls."

But that's just me.

I like a man who knows what he wants too. Shy guys need not apply.

 

[Poohbear]

I think you've done enough by giving him your phone number. The ball is now in his court - let him chase you.

But she went after him initially. She shouldn't expect him to chase her. Plus, she said all rules put aside...

 

[Poohbear]

So what are your views on why he would message me back with his number instead of just callin me when ready? i kinda read it as him knowing he didnt have the balls so gave off his instead hopin i would make the first move if that makes sense.

I think he gave you his number instead of calling you because you initiated the interest in him. So he gave you his number for you to contact him initially. Just a thought. Not really sure though. Maybe you should ask him.

 

[FlawedBeauty]

only thing about that is when you meet someone in real life, what do you do if you find them attractive and want to get to know them, you exchange numbers. no? you don't ask for their myspace, or email, message for a few weeks, then exchange numbers to meet after all that. i don't see how this is any different...

ETA: I think he gave you his # to be polite. I think you should have messaged back and forth for a week or two first to see if it would have progressed to something more. I think you are being too forward with a complete stranger imo.

 

[-Volare]

You obviously want to call, so just do it. And let us know how it goes.

 

[Poohbear]

You obviously want to call, so just do it. And let us know how it goes.

LOL! Yes! Go on and call him FlawedBeauty. What do you have to lose? Let us know if he answers. If he does, let us know what he says.

 

[topsyturvy86]

I'm glad you wrote this because I was wondering what was holding you back since you don't like following the rules. I want to make sure that I'm clear: this a random guy whose myspace you found while browsing? You don't know him and have never seen him in person? If those things are right then I don't blame him for not calling, you are a stranger that he knows nothing about. It's like walking up to a complete stranger, say a few words, then tell them to call you. But he doesn't even have the benefit of seeing you in person or knowing what kind of person you are. I doubt he will ever call you.

ETA: I think he gave you his # to be polite. I think you should have messaged back and forth for a week or two first to see if it would have progressed to something more. I think you are being too forward with a complete stranger imo.

I'd just like to point out the bits in blue. The fact that you don't follow rules doesn't mean you go about chasing men and all. There are things that could hold 'rules-less' ladies back besides rules. It could just be what works for you, or principle, or what you feel is the right thing in the situation.

I definitely agree with everything else you said though