Should I cut him off?

[Fine 4s]

Thank you ladies for not quoted and for your thoughts!
Happy New Year!

 

[ThickHair]

You say one thing and did another, no wonder the man is confused. If you have cut him off then cut off everything. You have kept a very murky relationship going on with this man, you really need to cut the apron strings. Even though you have stated you have moved on, a small part of you haven't, not fair to him nor your new man. You have sorta had your cake and ate it too.

Women for the most part get mad with men do this and we have had plenty of posts on LHCF about when the woman is on the receiving end and it usually doesn't end well.

 

[tinkat]

Aw. I can tell you are a very sweet considerate person. Honestly as much pain as it is causing him for you to do that, it in his best interest to seize contact. The Right Decision does not always feel good at the moment.

I can relate to you because my ex was still in love with me and wanted to be with me after we broke up. I felt like we grew apart, we were together for 6 years, he was my first love and college sweetheart. He was actually the nicest guy that I dated and I am thankful for that. I learned alot from him and also grew up in the process for that time period.

The worst thing that you can do is give mixed signals, even if it is not intentional. By still communicating with him although you have moved on is giving him hope believe it or not.

One of the biggest lessons in life is letting go. Sometimes you cannot be friends with people no matter how much love and care is there. Some people you have to just love from a distance even if that means never speaking to them again in your life.

 

[tinkat]

You say one thing and did another, no wonder the man is confused. If you have cut him off then cut off everything. You have kept a very murky relationship going on with this man, you really need to cut the apron strings. Even though you have stated you have moved on, a small part of you haven't, not fair to him nor your new man. You have sorta had your cake and ate it too.

Women for the most part get mad with men do this and we have had plenty of posts on LHCF about when the woman is on the receiving end and it usually doesn't end well.

It does not feel good. Especially when you are trying to move on and the guy is very attached to someone else but still trying to keep in touch with you. Slap in the face...

 

[Hairsnob]

I agree with above poster. It's unfair to him because you yourself already moved on (although not completely) and he obviously hasn't. I know how you feel sorry for him because he doesn't know anyone or have other family here but he's a grown man and will find his way and meet new people. Meanwhile, he's thinking that you two are going to get back together because you're still seeing each other.

I know it's nice to be able to stay in touch with an ex but it hardly ever works out because somebody is always clinging to hope. In his mind he's thinking well she must not be too into this new person because she's still calling me for advice and stuff. So it's better to cut things loose now. You don't have to feel bad about falling out of love with him because you just did. But to keep him hanging there watching you move on with your life isn't fair to him. I know you made it clear to him but he's going by your actions (calling him, going out with him). So try to distance yourself with him, especially before it interferes with your new relationship.

Good luck! I know it's a bad spot to be in because you still care for him.

 

[hopeful]

Yes, cut him off.

 

[Iwanthealthyhair67]

I thought you did ..cut him off I mean...

 

[SummerSolstice]

you will feel so much better if you cut him off. You don't need all this confusion and neither does he.

 

[Fine 4s]

Enjoy your new year!

 

[NYAmicas]

He may want to try counseling as well.

 

[Mis007]

Sometimes you have to be cruel, to be kind good luck.

 

[Fine 4s]

^ I'm learning this in so many areas of my life.
Thank you for reminding me of how it applies here.

 

[PopLife]

I have been through the same thing with my ex, you really need to cut off contact with him. Even though I know it's not your intentions, you are giving him false hope. Hopefully he will eventually move on, but if he doesn't don't make it your burden.