Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation...

[MSee]

Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..

@MSee

If you can't remember don't worry about it...I don't mean to sound harsh in anyway but as long as you know that something did in fact happen that is what's important...

I can't remember the third person or much of the events but I KNOW that it did happen, I asked God not to bring him/her back to my memory only that I forgive them, I forgave because I wanted to be healed completely, I don't need to remember who, I don't need to lament any longer than necessary or walk around feeling bitter and sorry for myself, acknowleding that something in appropriate happened was enough for me...

To clarify, I was at an age where it is believed children do not recall things. I did. It came back to me as I grew up, in graffic...I'm not sure what to call it, flash backs may be.

I'm glad I remembered. For years later when we moved back to that neighborhood the same person (an older cousin) dared give me the leering look on several occassions. Once when we met alone he did that and said something to me. I was an extremely silent teenager and I simply responded with a look that apparantly spoke volumes because he visible looked shocked and avoided me after that. I'm also glad I remembered because if he should show up in my life again unchanged, I have my children to protect.

I believe in forgiveness, refuse bitterness, accept the lesson. However I believe that in certain situations, not forgetting is for my own protection.

I percieve that this thread is going to help a lot of people who are too afraid to speak up about their struggles.

 

[auparavant]

Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..

Regarding forgiveness...that takes on different expressions of it. Some people suppress the event whereas others need to compartmentalize it. Still others try and regard it to explain it. If someone remembers, doesn't mean they are harboring bitterness. But I'd think that, just as someone who was the victim of a murdered family member or some other violent crime like bank robbery, there would be negative feelings. But that doesn't equate with "unforgiveness." Please be careful judging how individuals deal with their situations.

 

[Laela]

Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..

I know everyone is different and we all deal with our struggles and experiences differently..however, if we remember an experience and there are any negative feelings toward someone, then aught or unforgiveness is still there... when the thought of my sister's boyfriend (who killed her) come to mind, I don't feel angry or bitter. Oh, I remember the situation well, but I'm in a place where I'd released it all into God's Hands and forgave the man. I've prayed for his soul and for his family and would minister to him face to face, if I get the opportunity. I have no aught, because I'd released it to God and trusted Him to heal my heart. That aught can keep a wedge between me and God.

I don't believe we truly forgive (ourselves or others) until we release it to God. We are instructed to cast ALL our cares and burdens onto Him and not carry them. To carry them means we don't trust that God can help nor do we believe He will...

GOD IS A TURNAROUND GOD... A GOD OF COMPLETE RESTORATION.. ITA that we can remember and that because we remember doesn't mean there is bitterness..BUT IF that rememberance evokes any negative emotions/feelings, then the aught and unforgiveness is still there. Sometimes we just like to convince ourselves that it's not...

Regarding forgiveness...that takes on different expressions of it. Some people suppress the event whereas others need to compartmentalize it. Still others try and regard it to explain it. If someone remembers, doesn't mean they are harboring bitterness. But I'd think that, just as someone who was the victim of a murdered family member or some other violent crime like bank robbery, there would be negative feelings. But that doesn't equate with "unforgiveness." Please be careful judging how individuals deal with their situations.

 

[Iwanthealthyhair67]

Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..

I think my way of speaking many times I am misunderstood ...This subject is very dear to me and I certainly would not want someone who has been hurt the way I have and the way many on this board has been to think that I have been insensitive to their experiene in any way.


I never suggested that anyone was walking in unforgiveness I simply said what I had to do to be healed and delivered...

Regarding forgiveness...that takes on different expressions of it. Some people suppress the event whereas others need to compartmentalize it. Still others try and regard it to explain it. If someone remembers, doesn't mean they are harboring bitterness. But I'd think that, just as someone who was the victim of a murdered family member or some other violent crime like bank robbery, there would be negative feelings. But that doesn't equate with "unforgiveness." Please be careful judging how individuals deal with their situations.

 

[auparavant]

Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..

I think my way of speaking many times I am misunderstood ...This subject is very dear to me and I certainly would not want someone who has been hurt the way I have and the way many on this board has been to think that I have been insensitive to their experiene in any way.


I never suggested that anyone was walking in unforgiveness I simply said what I had to do to be healed and delivered...

I'm glad you clarified. I didn't want others to think that, if they remembered, they were not walking right. It's so individual an issue. Thanks for commenting!!!!

 

[auparavant]

Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..

I myself was molested by a man and a woman in my childhood years. Though I never acted on any feelings, homosexual thoughts would cross my mind from time and time again. But its nothing but the blood of Jesus that can cleanse someone from this.I dont care how much therapy they take, it can only be done through Christ. Never get content with feeling this way because you can be delievered and I mean fully delievered. But you have to want to be delievered.I know the battle in the flesh that can occur. Your flesh is saying one thing but youre mind saying something else. But I know that God has washed my and freed me, and I am not looking back to that. Those that are in Christ are a new creature, old things are passed away, all things are become new.

This is exactly what I was afraid would happen in this thread. I was truly hoping people would read beyond the post. Hopefully, you are speaking "in general" to someone other than me...although, I appreciate you mean well. Another thing, I was talking basically about kids playing doctor...not being raped by adults. The older person was a sibling...just a few years beyond 12 at the time...who should have known better...but alas. But...deep sigh...I hope people can seriously open up to the actual subject because I don't need "deliverance" from anything. I hope you comprehend without feeling hurt as I don't meant this by my post. I'm not sitting around seething with homosexual thoughts. I was mostly examining past events and current possibilities based upon experiences. I'm glad I got it all sorted out, no matter the outcome.

 

[Laela]

Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..

Well then, auparavant - maybe Alicialynn's post is for someone else... this is really a great topic but as you've started the thread or every time someone comments, doesn't mean every post is about you. There is far more going on here than that...and people ARE opening up... I like that this thread has a 'healing effect' to it....

 

[auparavant]

Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..

Well then, @auparavant - maybe Alicialynn's post is for someone else... this is really a great topic but as you've started the thread or every time someone comments, doesn't mean every post is about you. There is far more going on here than that...and people ARE opening up... I like that this thread has a 'healing effect' to it....

Calm down just a tad...I asked her just to make sure....when people start in with the "you can get delivered"...I want to make sure they comprehend my stance as I wish to comprehend theirs. I know that, at some point, the issue of whether it's sin to have that mindset or to act upon it is the actual sin is going to come up. I've stated my views upon it various times. I know that it's not all about me. I'm making sure it's understood that I'm not seething with thoughts that need to be healed and delivered. K? I also like that it has a healing effect...but I also hope that people don't push away the subject of it because it's uncomfortable and they might feel afraid of it (not pointing to Alicialynn). I hope that I can ask HER and clarify all this without someone else attempting to point out that "it's not all about me." Not my intent to think it is. I just want people to think deeply about the general topic and I used myself as an example, only. It's not just one post, but it's also pm's. I don't want anyone to think I'm devastated, downtrodden, destroyed nor needing someone else to feel sorry for me or that I'm down in the dumps lol. It's human life.

Thanks for pointing this all out. It's not truly my intent...what you are concerned about. Likewise, I'm giving a further explanation that I thought was appropriate. In other words, let's not attribute to one what is not there...that is my concern. But I'll let this post take it's own turns and I'll not comment much more in it to allow it. As you say..."healing effect." Just that...nobody assume anything about me personally...please. But when I can find that specific article, I'll be sure to post it here. Thanks again for your concerns.

 

[Laela]

Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..

Girl, I am calm.. please stop assuming I'm not every time I try to address you. Is the word "deliverance" a trigger word for you? I'm asking seriously, with no ill intent.

 

[auparavant]

Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..

@Laela, think about it...I'm trying to explain to people. What do I need to be delivered from, though? I feel you are attacking me, actually and I sense you don't at all prefer me...I know. I am not against you...I'm trying to clarify the situation for me as the "example." But I also want to make it clear that I don't need any kind of deliverance etc. as, well, I've explained it before...reiterating...that I hope that was generally posted. I've gotten Pm's, ok? I am not at all devastated and down-trodden. I've also re-edited my response to you, trying to make it as understood as possible, in the nicest and most succinct way so as not to offend you as it is not my intent. L-rd, help me, I am sincerely trying to explain it.


ETA: I believe MSee said it best in her last post aboutit helping so many. I know what she means in her thread and it's more about understanding the feeling rather than being able to express it in words. For me, on the one hand, being open about such a thing is difficult because you 1) get well-meaning people who automatically think there are certain broken pieces when you might have healed from it and 2) offer something that is beyond that situation (I hope it's understood). And yet, maybe my post isn't so much about child sexual abuse from adults but is actually about child sexual experiences (any kind of sexual contact...not actual coitus). Maybe this is what I needed to make clear. As for the 15 year old? I don't know that she was mature enough to comprehend social moes...maybe. But an adult that would initiate sex with a child (actual coitus or foreplay) is another animal altogether. I don't mean to mislead in this discussion...but all comments are welcome. Just keep in mind what was pointed out previously....all I humbly ask. Here's to healing!!!

 

[Laela]

Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..

@the bolded, I assure you I am not attacking you, chica... I see it's a Catch-22.. I keep wondering why you picking on me like that, and I see now that you think I'm picking on you.. lol.. ah well, no harm ...you know we love you here. This is a great topic, sans misunderstandings. Nothing wrong with deliverance...we should all want that. I just didn't agree on the forgiveness part.

I apologize if I offended you or you thought I was attacking you.. it's a topic I can relate to.. so thanks for the clarity!

@Laela, think about it...I'm trying to explain to people. What do I need to be delivered from, though? I feel you are attacking me, actually and I sense you don't at all prefer me...I know. I am not against you...I'm trying to clarify the situation for me as the "example." But I also want to make it clear that I don't need any kind of deliverance etc. as, well, I've explained it before...reiterating...that I hope that was generally posted. I've gotten Pm's, ok? I am not at all devastated and down-trodden. I've also re-edited my response to you, trying to make it as understood as possible, in the nicest and most succinct way so as not to offend you as it is not my intent. L-rd, help me, I am sincerely trying to explain it.

 

[BrandNew]

Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..

Thank you @auparavant for being so open and honest and opening this discussion. I hope it doesn't go off course.

This hit close to home for me, but I'm not ready to go into details or talk about my experiences here. I just wanted to say that I understand your views @auparavant. @Alicialynn86 thanks was not enough!

 

[Rsgal]

Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..

auparavant and Iwanthealthyhair67