RETURN SO's GIFT?

[SouthernTease]

So your SO buys you a gift
for Christmas/Birthday... whatever
... you can tell he spent a lot
of $$$$ on it, it's NOT *****...
but it's not your style... what do you do?

What would be the right thing to do?

 

[envybeauty]

once an ex bought me a kenneth cole watch in this bright pink bubble gum color. not my thing. so i took it back to the store and exchanged it for something more my taste (and that i could wear more often). never told him or anyone else about it.....until now.

he only commented once that i never wore that watch. i changed the subject.

 

[SouthernTease]

Mines got me a ring...
I feel like such a B***H
because I told him I liked another
one better and asked if we could get
the other one... it only costs a little bit more
but I feel ungrateful... he picked it out himself.

 

[TwistedRoots]

Mines got me a ring...
I feel like such a B***H
because I told him I liked another
one better and asked if we could get
the other one... it only costs a little bit more
but I feel ungrateful... he picked it out himself.

Girl!! A ring? And I thought I was shallow! I wouldn't ever ask for something else(jewelry-wise) but let it be a purse or shoes...something along those lines and it doesn't meet my taste...that ish is going back....LOL.

 

[*KP*]

I got a gold necklace, I haven't worn gold in years! It was cute but I knew I wouldn't wear it much. When he asked if I liked it, I said I did but I didn't wear gold so he suggested we change it. I felt really bad to because he picked it out but we did in the end, changed it for a white gold necklace and matching earrings

 

[Tallone]

Why feign interest in something that's not your style? Why wouldnt he understand especially if you let him know how much you appreciate the effort he put in. Let him know you have to exchange it and you hope he understands. My hubby bought my alot of clothes for Christmas, none of which are my style. I let him know and he said thats fine. Clothes, jewelry whatever. Especially jewelry, I think he would feel worse to invest all that money he put in and he never sees you in it. I don't know, its not that serious to me.

 

[envybeauty]

what kind of ring?

something like a three-carat, platinum band, solitare in a tiffany setting i would upgrade LATER.

 

[aqualung]

I had a boyfriend give me an ugly, cheap, afterthought gift. I handed it back right there on the spot.

I ask what a person wants and I get it for them. No surprises. It's usually a good match because the recipient SAID they wanted it.

If it was expensive and just a mismatch of taste, I'd let him know. I would not sneak it to the store behind his back. We're all adults here. It's a miss, but a NEAR miss.

 

[Ballerina_Bun]

I'm direct. I will tell someone that I do not feel comfortable in the garment, that is if it's clothes. It's not fun or flattering wearing something that you do not feel comfortable or like yourself in. I returned an expensive necklace last year for that reason. The style/look just wasn't me(and other reasons too) and I did not feel comfortable in it I exchanged it for pearls

You may need to approach delicately, but it's best to be direct, because other that person may continue to get more of what you don't like, thinking tht you do like it,because you didn't say anything. Or, you could suck it up and donate it to charity.

Don't listen to me though, follow your instincts based upon who the giver was...Some people are very hurt when you do not like a gift they have given you, especially if they feel it was from the heart.

 

[envybeauty]

I'm direct. I will tell someone that I do not feel comfortable in the garment, that is if it's clothes. It's not fun or flattering wearing something that you do not feel comfortable or like yourself in. I returned an expensive necklace last year for that reason. I exchanged it for pearls

You may need to approach delicately, but it's best to be direct, because other that person may continue to get more of what you don't like, thinking tht you do like it,because you didn't say anything. Or, you could suck it up and donate it to charity.

Don't listen to me though, follow your instincts based upon who the giver was...Some people are very hurt when you do not like a gift they have given you, expecially if they feel it was from the heart.

I agree with this post and will add more to the last part. Some people get upset when you do not like a gift because they feel you should be willing to accept any and everything that they give you. One man told me that if I really loved him, I should have been willing to accept even a rubber band as an engagement ring. Story being that I immediately rejected a cheap piece of ish he gave me as an engagement ring when I knew and he knew he could do better by me seeing as how he ALWAYS bought nothing but the best for HIMSELF. I believe you teach people how to treat you and if you know you deserve better in certain circumstances (gift or no gift), then make it known that you would not give yourself less and you will not accept less from others. But only YOU will know that.

 

[CaribbeanQueen]

Mines got me a ring...
I feel like such a B***H
because I told him I liked another
one better and asked if we could get
the other one... it only costs a little bit more
but I feel ungrateful... he picked it out himself.

Was it an engagement ring? If so, think of it this way, you will be wearing it for the rest of your married life unless he decides to change/upgrade it... So it is better to be upfront now.

 

[caribeandiva]

Tell him the truth and offer to go exchange it together. If you pretend you like it, you're guaranteed to get something similar next time.

 

[Vinyl]

I'd pretend I absolutely loved it and then proceed to wear it. I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings or anything, plus I doubt he'd notice if I stopped wearing it after a few months.

 

[carcajada]

I never took back my husband's gifts while we were dating. I kept it because he picked it out for me and he was really proud of it. That was something I was impressed with and happy about. It wasn't worth hurting his feelings. He eventually found out exactly what I liked.

 

[stinastina]

My So gave me a Calvin Klein perfume set for my b-day a few years ago. I'm particular about perfumes and I go through phases where I don't like to smell them. Since we just started dating, I said thank you and kept it.

That Christmas he got me some old lady pantsuit. I asked him if I could take it back. He said he had second thoughts about buying it.

 

[envybeauty]

I never took back my husband's gifts while we were dating. I kept it because he picked it out for me and he was really proud of it. That was something I was impressed with and happy about. It wasn't worth hurting his feelings. He eventually found out exactly what I liked.

The only time I returned a gift back to a man directly (as in to him) was when I wanted him to know that I was hurt by the gift he selected. I am grateful for gifts yes but sometimes people give you things thinking that you should settle for what they give you because they are giving you something at all. I'd rather receive nothing.

 

[Taliah]

Nip this in the bud now. He might be one of those control freaks who what you to have what he wants you to have because he's paying for it. Forget that. Buy me what I like. If we break up I have things that I like becasue I wanted them, no reflection of him.
Besides, I want a man to be obsessed with getting to know all of me and what I like. If he buys me what he wants me to have I feel like an average woman to him. At the end od the day, it's all about me.

Take it back with or with him, but let him know that it's not you, and draw him in to want to get to know your personal style and taste.