Relaxed ladies - do you ever get heat from your natural friends . . .

[Glib Gurl]

. . . and the same question goes to my natural sistahs about their relaxed friends?

One of my best friends is natural and she is very political about it . . . from time to time we try to talk hair issues, but it teeters ever so closely to getting personal . . . so we try not to talk about it too much . . . or talk about it strictly in terms of hypotheticals. We never make comments about the other's hair, except to say that it looks nice or pretty in a certain style . . . .

Just wondering if others have these conflicts from time to time?

 

[Evolving78]

I'm natural now and my friends and I talk about hair, sinceI have always been into haircare. I really don't push anyone to be natural like me or make my friends feel bad about being relaxed. But most of my friends' hair is not healthy and they have a lot of split dry ends. They don't have very good hair practices. I really don't comment on that either. I don't like it though when they say that it was ok for me to go natural because I don't have bad hair. Whatever that means. I always say damaged hair is bad hair. I wish I could come out and tell them to stop with their bad haircare practices though.

 

[sweetcashew]

No, I don't get any heat from my natural friends because I was the one who encouraged them to go natural in the first place.
Whenever I mention that I might go natural one day believe it or not, they discourage me. They think I have too much hair to battle with if natural so that always surprises me.
However I do get a lot of flack from my relaxed friends. They always think I'm doing something wrong with my hair. Every thing I do they're like ''You shouldn't do this or you shouldn't do that..that's not good for your hair blah blah blah."
I just smile and tell them to leave me alone.

 

[glamazon386]

No... all my friends have liked my hair so far. And I don't try to influence them either.

 

[DreamLife]

Most of my friends are going natural or are natural and they don't know about LHCF, so when I was stretching they thought I was going to do the BC. They were so upset when I got another relaxer and they all want me to go natural because they say its healthier than a relaxer (they don't know how to take care of relaxers). Even though they don't know it, they are doing alot of protective styles (weaves, braids, etc.) to grow out their TWA's. They made me think about going natural for a minute...until I saw my natural texture after a 4-5 month stretch!

 

[cmw45]

Yea I get a lot of...think how long your hair would be if you relaxed it...I just smile and keep it moving.

 

[Twisties]

Not really in a serious way without joking.

I have a friend who occassionally tells me to get a "hard press" and let it hang down. I try to tell her it won't work.

When she wears her hair gelled down in what I called the "plastered do", I mention she might just want to consider going natural "cause you looking mighty rough". We always kind of joke with each other.

I have a friend who is literally bald at the crown and I DO lecture her and try to get her stop relaxing for her scalps sake.

If I ever mention anthing about relaxing my hair for old times sake to family members, they give me the "Do you remember" lecture (meaning you ain't have no hair when you relaxed.)

 

[missnappylady]

I USED to be irritating and tried to convert everyone I knew. When I first went natural it was like I had discovered a whole new world and anyone that relaxed their hair needed to be "educated". Now, that I'VE been educated I leave people alone. If they're interested they'll ask.

 

[ladylibra]

my relaxed family members do always ask if i'm gonna go back to relaxing... especially after i flat iron. they ooooh and ahhhh over how much healthier my hair is now... well DUH, cuz i'm not torturing it with heat and chemicals all the time like i used to!

mostly everyone loves my hair. the only pressure i get from my relaxed friends is when i'm gonna flat iron again cuz they wanna see how long it's getting. i respect that not everyone wants to wear natural hair and instead i try to get my relaxed friends to practice healthier hair habits. to me, having healthy, good-looking hair that you love and accept is what matters most.

 

[sylver2]

nope never, if anything they compliment me and the same back.

 

[BillsBackerz67]

I dont....the only time I ever really tried to talk someone out of not getting a relaxer was because her hair was severely damgaed....yet she complained about how thin her hair was but still wanted to go ahead and process her hair. other than that I could care less.

 

[harrison]

My family is the worst. They always have something negative to say about my hair. My mother always asks "when are you going to perm this stuff on the top of yo head"... UGGGGGHHHHHHHH

 

[ClassicBeauty]

In the beginning, everyone was telling me to get a relaxer. My family kept telling me that my hair was gonna break off and fall out, etc. (Because I transitioned for a few years, and they didn't reall understand it.) Now that I have mastered the flat-iron, some people forget I don't have a relaxer...until I shock them with my shrinkage!

Now that my hair is longer than everyone I know IRL, no one says anything.

I have tried to convert a few friends to go natural, but no one has gone for it. I have always encouraged everyone to stretch their relaxers so that's usually what I settle for with my friends.

 

[Incredible1ne]

I'm natural and I don't discourage my friends from relaxing just like they don't say anything about my hair. I hate natural hair nazis. In the end most people are turned off by that type of attitude.

 

[Incredible1ne]

My family is the worst. They always have something negative to say about my hair. My mother always asks "when are you going to perm this stuff on the top of yo head"... UGGGGGHHHHHHHH

My family is like that. My sister (with Tweety bird hair) had the nerve to tell me I think I look cute walking around with an afro, actually a twist out but whatever LOL. I just ignore it. My hair is growing and it's healthy. Most of the people who talk bad about my hair have damaged, breaking hair. And I'm supposed to take advice from you? Yeah, ok.

 

[sareca]

Even the ones that saw my natural hair before I texlaxed don't think of me as being relaxed. They'll be talking about other people need to stop relaxing and I'm like... um... hello!

 

[dillard]

When I was natural I was ummm over zealous I guess you could say. Whenever my relaxed friends complimented my hair and said "you look good with natural hair because ....... but I wouldn't look good with natural hair because...) I would proceed with my hr long tirade that bordered on obnoxious. I did calm down though.

Now that I'm relaxed again, I have some of my relaxed friends that are mad at me and saying I should go back natural and others who forever think I'm not taking care of my relaxed hair properly by long stretches washing "too much" etc! My natural friends don't give me any heat at all, they understand why I switched back over I don't give anyone heat now, I can truly appreciate a beautiful head of hair whether relaxed or natural. I don't think it would be more beautiful relaxed or natural. If they have unhealthy hair practices I will let them know though!