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Relaxed Hair Thread

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ItsMeLilLucky said:
@MzSwift I wish she would post more videos. She even turned her comments off :cry3:
I love reading comments while listening to videos
Click to expand...

Sorry, I almost fell asleep replying last night so I let Mr. Sandman win. LOL

Yeah, IKR! I watch YT vids on mute so I usually read through comments to get any info I miss from cc, Lol. I understand though if she just doesn't have the energy to maintain a YT page and respond to the same questions again and again. It's one of the reasons I couldn't have a YT. If I did, I would just do one with no comments at all too.
 
MzSwift said:
Sorry, I almost fell asleep replying last night so I let Mr. Sandman win. LOL

Yeah, IKR! I watch YT vids on mute so I usually read through comments to get any info I miss from cc, Lol. I understand though if she just doesn't have the energy to maintain a YT page and respond to the same questions again and again. It's one of the reasons I couldn't have a YT. If I did, I would just do one with no comments at all too.
Click to expand...
As a connoisseur of good quality sleep, I gotta say I understand :lachen:
 
she use to be my favorite but since she doesn’t post much I fill my time with Hairlicious, brianne rashay & April sunny.


MzSwift said:
Just came in to post my visualization inspiration. I love watching her videos bc she doesn't have super thick/dense relaxed hair and I love it. I think if my hair grew longer it would look like this. I love how easily she combs through it. The only thing I don't think I could do is the constant middle part but it works for her, it looks good on her too.

Click to expand...
 
I'm seriously considering cutting off all my hair. Like buzz cut short. I was going to cut off my pony tail yesterday but couldn't find the scissors.

I heard or read once that many times when a woman wants to do something drastic to her hair, she is usually going through some significant things in her life. It just so happens to be the case with me right now. For some reason I'm so tired of my hair.
20200110_130119~2.jpg
 
FadingDelilah said:
Ive been procrastinating my corrective because I keep remembering how long it took my to base my scalp last time. Ughhh. Does anyone here not base theirs when using lye?? I'm thinking of not.... But i dont wanna regret it ALOT.
Click to expand...

:lachen: I bet it's hard bc you just did it not too long ago. Can you do it while watching TV or a movie? This may be unpopular opinion but your parts don't have to be straight. And you could just do it all with your fingers. One part down the middle, and then just start making horizontal parts on one side and then the other. If you do it that way it shouldn't take you too long?

It takes me about 1 hr or so to base my scalp (bc I also coat my hair with product and twist at the same time) and only 8-10 minutes for the actual relaxing process, it's crazy!! But I only do it 2-3 times a year.
 
FadingDelilah said:
Ive been procrastinating my corrective because I keep remembering how long it took my to base my scalp last time. Ughhh. Does anyone here not base theirs when using lye?? I'm thinking of not.... But i dont wanna regret it ALOT.
Click to expand...
I don’t base my scalp :duck:
I just base my hairline, my forehead, my jaw, and my neck. But of course I add oil to my relaxer and I use no-lye. So my opinion probably doesn’t count :laugh:
 
Okay so I just did my corrective. It was horrible. I hate neutralizing. I think its the shampoo though because no matter how many times I very very thoroughly neutralized and rinsed, the bubbles were always still pinkish!!!! So I just gave up. I think its not accurate. It took me nearly 15 mins to apply the relaxer and I kept it in for 26. Still have highly textured hair. It feels soooo weak, brittle and gross. I'm going to try deep conditioning for a few weeks and see how it turns out. Maybe I'm judging it too fast. Maybe this is normal???

But the worst that can happen is I just shave it all. So theres that. This is my last attempt at this hair thing.
 
FadingDelilah said:
Okay so I just did my corrective. It was horrible. I hate neutralizing. I think its the shampoo though because no matter how many times I very very thoroughly neutralized and rinsed, the bubbles were always still pinkish!!!! So I just gave up. I think its not accurate. It took me nearly 15 mins to apply the relaxer and I kept it in for 26. Still have highly textured hair. It feels soooo weak, brittle and gross. I'm going to try deep conditioning for a few weeks and see how it turns out. Maybe I'm judging it too fast. Maybe this is normal???

But the worst that can happen is I just shave it all. So theres that. This is my last attempt at this hair thing.
Click to expand...
what is your next step after neutralizing? and what brand are you using? Im curious now.
 
MzSwift said:
:blush2:
I'm happy that I helped, sis!
Internal issues are THE WORST -- bc you could do everything right externally and not see the results. When I have them, it makes me feel like I'm going crazy! So it's good to hear that you've got an awareness of what's going on inside. I hope you can overcome those things soon! ((BIG HUG))

ETA: IIRC, aren't you also taking a nutritional supplement to help? Is it helping you?
Click to expand...
Im seeing a naturopath for my overactive thyroid and those numbers are slowly getting to where they need to be with supplementation and diet change. So that's great, but this thinning situation is some new ish I don't understand.
Hopefully it will alll sort out soon, otherwise I may just cut and call it a day. My head is too big for wigs.lol
 
Im at a stage where I need to learn how to manage this new hair texture. It seems dry no matter what, and I'm not sure if it's the looser texture but all the hair in the shower drain and on the walls is freaking me out. I don't know if its shed hair that can slide out more easily with just water pressure than my 4c shed hairs ever could, or if its breakage, but its freaking me out. I do know I'm seeing little breakage pieces too, so I'm going to try an amino acid treatment to strengthen. Maybe then it'll stay more moisturized and break less. I also need a very good cut. I'm tired of having 4-5 inches of thinnnnn dead ends. I might just do it myself. The plus side is my hair seems much easier to detangle and hangs face framing now.
 
FadingDelilah said:
I'm using the isoplus neutralizing shampoo. It's orange. After I condition and then use my glycerin spray as a leave in.
Click to expand...
Did you do the ACV rinse in between neutralizing? And what kind of conditioner? with heat?
Just trying to sort out the disconnect. Maybe the isoplus neutralizer isn't your friend. What relaxer brand do you use? Maybe try the neutralizer for the brand relaxer you're using? and use a really thick, heavy moisture-driven conditioner after a quick protein treatment.

In your last post I see you mention doing an amino acid treatment, please be sure to followup with moisture deep condition preferably with heat as aminos are protein and on top your hair is dry so you'd really want to impart as much moisture as you can. Maybe even do some cowshes in between washday too!
 
Wenbev said:
Did you do the ACV rinse in between neutralizing? And what kind of conditioner? with heat?
Just trying to sort out the disconnect. Maybe the isoplus neutralizer isn't your friend. What relaxer brand do you use? Maybe try the neutralizer for the brand relaxer you're using? and use a really thick, heavy moisture-driven conditioner after a quick protein treatment.

In your last post I see you mention doing an amino acid treatment, please be sure to followup with moisture deep condition preferably with heat as aminos are protein and on top your hair is dry so you'd really want to impart as much moisture as you can. Maybe even do some cowshes in between washday too!
Click to expand...

You're right. I will work on moisture before I do protein. I did the acv before my last time neutralizing. I am starting to think it's that isoplus too. It smells like clay under the fragrance and I can't stand it. I just got it cause it was the cheapest color coded neutralizer I could find on Amazon. Im at a loss because after two relaxers with very little oil added my hair is still curly!!!!! I feel like just banishing my hair to an eternal buzzcut. Ughhhh
 
FadingDelilah said:
What is your acv recipe for neutralizing? @MzSwift I want to make sure mine isn't too diluted.
Click to expand...

Sorry so late, sis. I have been out building a dog pen in my backyard and then recovering bc I overdid it. :lachen:

For my scalp and hair, I've learned the stronger the better. IF I mix in water, it's 75% ACV, 25% water. But I actually prefer now to use the ACV straight. In fact, white vinegar has been very good to me too. I use them interchangeably. They're both acidic enough to balance my pH and they both will heal any burns. Once I started properly basing with Vaseline, I haven't had any scalp burns in years! HTH! :)
 
FadingDelilah said:
Okay so I just did my corrective. It was horrible. I hate neutralizing. I think its the shampoo though because no matter how many times I very very thoroughly neutralized and rinsed, the bubbles were always still pinkish!!!! So I just gave up. I think its not accurate. It took me nearly 15 mins to apply the relaxer and I kept it in for 26. Still have highly textured hair. It feels soooo weak, brittle and gross. I'm going to try deep conditioning for a few weeks and see how it turns out. Maybe I'm judging it too fast. Maybe this is normal???

But the worst that can happen is I just shave it all. So theres that. This is my last attempt at this hair thing.
Click to expand...

Awww! Oh no! ((BIG HUG)) And no, please do not shave ... yet.

So interesting, right before you and I started talking about you relaxing, I had just posted about how all neutralizing shampoos aren't created equal! I bought Isoplus neutralizing shampoo sometime last year or in 2018 because I wanted to try something with a color indicator. Let me tell you, my hair always felt weird when I was neutralizing those relaxers. I thought it was something else bc I was also adjusting other things in my process. But this last time, in November, I was using the last of the Isoplus on my second wash and then added in my usual Motions neutralizing poo. And it was amazing the difference, immediately! My hair was so rough w the Isoplus, I kept thinking how my cuticles must be extra lifted or something. As soon as I added in the Motions, my hair got soft. I couldn't believe it! I learned then and there that all neutralizing poos are NOT created equal and I will stick w Motions from here on out.

About the corrective: Sis, let me tell you, the ladies were warning me not to do mine too but I was like, naw I'll be cool, no worries. Almost immediately, I regretted doing it ... both times. LOL. The second time I did it was years later and I had forgotten how much I hated it the first time. No more for me. I learned that if my relaxer is bad then I'll adapt and live with it until the next time I relax. I view life as endless opportunities to learn so I was like, nope I'm not giving up, I'm gonna find a simple regi that works for my laziness and ride that puppy until my hair is healthy again. And I think you can do the same! You can have the hair that YOU want without having to do 50-11 things to get it! This is not an infomercial, Lol. Really, there's waaayyy too much info on this board and for YEARS there were ladies growing long, MBL/WL/HL healthy relaxed hair so I know it's possible!

For instance, don't beat me up, but *I think* that maybe you don't need to dilute your relaxers. Maybe the way you keep a little texture is by learning what is the amount of time that you need to keep the undiluted relaxer on. Initially, I think you should relax once every 3-4 months until you get a hang of things and your hair. Use the time to try out a new relaxer, bc it seems what you're using is not compatible w your hair. Perhaps your hair is trying to tell you that she's a no-lye lady?

For now, please baby your hair while we all put our collective heads together to figure out what it is you may need to do to get you where you wanna be. Definitely start DCing with a moisturizing DC twice a week. You can do one after a wash and then do one midweek overnight or something and then rinse it in the shower and wet bun the next day. Speaking of wash, I think you should skip the poo and strictly cowash or water rinse for a minute. If your scalp can't take that try adding some baking soda to the condish for a gentle cleanser or just massage a little poo on your scalp with your finger tips. I think you should do that until your hair is no longer brittle/dry. No protein tx yet until your hair tells you that you need it!! Once your hair is no longer dry/brittle, braid her up and put her away for at least 3 weeks.

I'm thinking you rock wet buns or even 4-5 plaits under a removable wig so that you can tend to your hair underneath. Don't over manipulate your hair. If you do the wigs/plaits, cleanse, DC and moisturize and seal in those same plaits. Only redo them once a week. And I don't mean to take them all down and redo them, I mean redo them one by one, keeping the same sections/parts. That helps to minimize manipulation.

You have to forgive me, I have been a crisis worker for many years so when a crisis happens, I go into problem solving mode. LOL. You know you don't have to listen to a word I say, LOL. I'm just hoping one of these things will help get you thru the immediate aftermath.

Sorry again for the novel. :blush:
 
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MzSwift said:
Sorry so late, sis. I have been out building a dog pen in my backyard and then recovering bc I overdid it. :lachen:

For my scalp and hair, I've learned the stronger the better. IF I mix in water, it's 75% ACV, 25% water. But I actually prefer now to use the ACV straight. In fact, white vinegar has been very good to me too. I use them interchangeably. They're both acidic enough to balance my pH and they both will heal any burns. Once I started properly basing with Vaseline, I haven't had any scalp burns in years! HTH! :)
Click to expand...

Luckily I haven't experienced any burns except a little sting on my face when I rinsed the relaxer right into it in the shower, smh. Newbie mistakes. LOL. I do the first rinse out with my head held back now. :lachen:And that sounds like great idea cause I only put a few spoons of vinegar in mine... now I feel dumb. I based the heck out of my scalp both times so at least I did that right. :rolleyes:
 
MzSwift said:
Awww! Oh no! ((BIG HUG)) And no, please do not shave ... yet.

So interesting, right before you and I started talking about you relaxing, I had just posted about how all neutralizing shampoos aren't created equal! I bought Isoplus neutralizing shampoo sometime last year or in 2018 because I wanted to try something with a color indicator. Let me tell you, my hair always felt weird when I was neutralizing those relaxers. I thought it was something else bc I was also adjusting other things in my process. But this last time, in November, I was using the last of the Isoplus on my second wash and then added in my usual Motions neutralizing poo. And it was amazing the difference, immediately! My hair was so rough w the Isoplus, I kept thinking how my cuticles must be extra lifted or something. As soon as I added in the Motions, my hair got soft. I couldn't believe it! I learned then and there that all neutralizing poos are NOT created equal and I will stick w Motions from here on out.

About the corrective: Sis, let me tell you, the ladies were warning me not to do mine too but I was like, naw I'll be cool, no worries. Almost immediately, I regretted doing it ... both times. LOL. The second time I did it was years later and I had forgotten how much I hated it the first time. No more for me. I learned that if my relaxer is bad then I'll adapt and live with it until the next time I relax. I view life as endless opportunities to learn so I was like, nope I'm not giving up, I'm gonna find a simple regi that works for my laziness and ride that puppy until my hair is healthy again. And I think you can do the same! You can have the hair that YOU want without having to do 50-11 things to get it! This is not an infomercial, Lol. Really, there's waaayyy too much info on this board and for YEARS there were ladies growing long, MBL/WL/HL healthy relaxed hair so I know it's possible!

For instance, don't beat me up, but *I think* that maybe you don't need to dilute your relaxers. Maybe the way you keep a little texture is by learning what is the amount of time that you need to keep the undiluted relaxer on. Initially, I think you should relax once every 3-4 months until you get a hang of things and your hair. Use the time to try out a new relaxer, bc it seems what you're using is not compatible w your hair. Perhaps your hair is trying to tell you that she's a no-lye lady?

For now, please baby your hair while we all put our collective heads together to figure out what it is you may need to do to get you where you wanna be. Definitely start DCing with a moisturizing DC twice a week. You can do one after a wash and then do one midweek overnight or something and then rinse it in the shower and wet bun the next day. Speaking of wash, I think you should skip the poo and strictly cowash or water rinse for a minute. If your scalp can't take that try adding some baking soda to the condish for a gentle cleanser or just massage a little poo on your scalp with your finger tips. I think you should do that until your hair is no longer brittle/dry. No protein tx yet until your hair tells you that you need it!! Once your hair is no longer dry/brittle, braid her up and put her away for at least 3 weeks.

I'm thinking you rock wet buns or even 4-5 plaits under a removable wig so that you can tend to your hair underneath. Don't over manipulate your hair. If you do the wigs/plaits, cleanse, DC and moisturize and seal in those same plaits. Only redo them once a week. And I don't mean to take them all down and redo them, I mean redo them one by one, keeping the same sections/parts. That helps to minimize manipulation.

You have to forgive me, I have been a crisis worker for many years so when a crisis happens, I go into problem solving mode. LOL. You know you don't have to listen to a word I say, LOL. I'm just hoping one of these things will help get you thru the immediate aftermath.

Sorry again for the novel. :blush:
Click to expand...

I would have been bald if I didn't read this. I'm sniffling. I feel like since its my hair I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I get scared that everything I think of won't work for this or that reason. For example, I know I need to actually sit down and DETANGLE and find a real good deep moisture-based deep conditioner before I just start assuming my hair is a broken dry mess that cannot be saved, but my heart is like "just shave it, its over. Your hair is ugly, damaged and unstylable and it always will be." I'm so used to failing and putting in work for no returns so its kind of like I can't calmly think about and solve my own hair issues anymore. My mind is in its own cycle of making assumptions and I get so flustered I just tie it up under a scarf and thinking about doing it makes me nervous. Okay, imma reread this and let it sink in. Then think of a plan. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! AGAIN!!!!

Edit: Okay so heres what I thought of so far.

-I will definitely not be using the isolpus anymore. I will use something *gasps* more expensive and better reviewed next time instead of being a cheapskate. Hopefully that helps.

- Since I base properly, I won't dilute my relaxer next time because my hair is still a bit too textured for my liking. I was only diluting it because undiluted it seemed like I wouldn't have enough relaxer for all my hair, but next time I will only be doing my roots so I should get multiple uses out of the jar, even undiluted.

- I will get a good deep conditioner and a good wide toothed comb because I don't think my brush is gentle enough for my newly processed (and therefore weakened) hair. I will use them both regularly. :look:

- Once I restore my moisture levels, I will watch for irregular breakage and see if I need to introduce protein. Then once I figure that situation out, I'll straighten my hair at some point to get a good hair cut before I start protective styling. I think I'll do braids under wigs if I can get my hair flat enough.

Wish me luck detangling this mess soon please. I think I might have made detangling easier with this last corrective, but ion know. I also don't know if my hair will just break off once the comb touches it. I've been trying to get my moisture up before I start raking it but no amount of glycerin is helping. RIP.
 
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FadingDelilah said:
I would have been bald if I didn't read this. I'm sniffling. I feel like since its my hair I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I get scared that everything I think of won't work for this or that reason. For example, I know I need to actually sit down and DETANGLE and find a real good deep moisture-based deep conditioner before I just start assuming my hair is a broken dry mess that cannot be saved, but my heart is like "just shave it, its over. Your hair is ugly, damaged and unstylable and it always will be." I'm so used to failing and putting in work for no returns so its kind of like I can't calmly think about and solve my own hair issues anymore. My mind is in its own cycle of making assumptions and I get so flustered I just tie it up under a scarf and thinking about doing it makes me nervous. Okay, imma reread this and let it sink in. Then think of a plan. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! AGAIN!!!!

Edit: Okay so heres what I thought of so far.

-I will definitely not be using the isolpus anymore. I will use something *gasps* more expensive and better reviewed next time instead of being a cheapskate. Hopefully that helps.

- Since I base properly, I won't dilute my relaxer next time because my hair is still a bit too textured for my liking. I was only diluting it because undiluted it seemed like I wouldn't have enough relaxer for all my hair, but next time I will only be doing my roots so I should get multiple uses out of the jar, even undiluted.

- I will get a good deep conditioner and a good wide toothed comb because I don't think my brush is gentle enough for my newly processed (and therefore weakened) hair. I will use them both regularly. :look:

- Once I restore my moisture levels, I will watch for irregular breakage and see if I need to introduce protein. Then once I figure that situation out, I'll straighten my hair at some point to get a good hair cut before I start protective styling. I think I'll do braids under wigs if I can get my hair flat enough.

Wish me luck detangling this mess soon please. I think I might have made detangling easier with this last corrective, but ion know. I also don't know if my hair will just break off once the comb touches it. I've been trying to get my moisture up before I start raking it but no amount of glycerin is helping. RIP.
Click to expand...

We are all here for you and on this ride with you

My fav shampoo post relaxer is ORS professional neutralizing shampoo, its basically a neutralizing version of the creamy aloe and its huge
Amazon product ASIN B005QG533C
I also used to use Mizhani Butter blends balanced hair bath but can't find Mizani products anywhere (Canada) these days
Amazon product ASIN B000VXVEGK
you may need to stick with a shampoo thats creamy looking verses clear. That isoplus shampoo is basically a clarifying shampoo from the sounds of it

Deep Conditioner

elasta QP DPR 11 and their Soy oyl conditioners are amazing intensive DC's. please use these with heat.
Amazon product ASIN B0047ARSKE
I also second what @MzSwift posted earlier; wait till your next touch after attempting rehab before doing anything drastic
 
@FadingDelilah I hear you. I've been a self relaxer for over 15 years now which is why I dont.

I also forgot to add in terms of vinger as a neutralizing step. When I did go to the salon for my relaxers, my stylist at the time would just pour undiluted white vinegar on the areas that were starting to burn which would allow the parts that still needed to process time. I still do that to this day. I pour vinger on and let it sit for 15 secs before rinsing. Also try to rinse your hair as much as possible before adding shampoo, I usually wait until I see no white suds/particles; I only need to shampoo twice this way

HTH!
 
FadingDelilah said:
You're right. I will work on moisture before I do protein. I did the acv before my last time neutralizing. I am starting to think it's that isoplus too. It smells like clay under the fragrance and I can't stand it. I just got it cause it was the cheapest color coded neutralizer I could find on Amazon. Im at a loss because after two relaxers with very little oil added my hair is still curly!!!!! I feel like just banishing my hair to an eternal buzzcut. Ughhhh
Click to expand...
There are some things I do not buy on amazon. Maybe its old and the active ingredients have expired and that's why you keep seeing pink idk. I like silk elements olive neutralizing shampoo and its color coded and lasts forever. I know I've had it at least a year, its the 1 liter size. bought it at Sallys.
MzSwift said:
Sorry, I replied without finishing the thread. Lol, SMH.
Yet again, I see sista @Wenbev is on it!!

And OMG, @FadingDelilah , I learned the hard way too. Isoplus is the DEVIL!!
Click to expand...
:lachen::lachen::lachen: I'm trying girl!
FadingDelilah said:
Luckily I haven't experienced any burns except a little sting on my face when I rinsed the relaxer right into it in the shower, smh. Newbie mistakes. LOL. I do the first rinse out with my head held back now. :lachen:And that sounds like great idea cause I only put a few spoons of vinegar in mine... now I feel dumb. I based the heck out of my scalp both times so at least I did that right. :rolleyes:
Click to expand...
I would do a 1:3 ratio for ACV. so lets say you use 1/4cup ACV, then use 3/4c water. Slowly rinse your hair and scalp and don't rinse immediately, give it a bit to soak in.
 
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