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ShayyP,
apemay1969
Leave ins, moisturizers, etc have protein. Check everything that touches your hair.
ShayyP, you're using too many products that have strengthening properties. Aphogee reconstructor is a protein. Black tea rinses has a strengthening effect as well. I cannot black tea or black coffee rinse for nothing - my hair breaks something serious each time.
You're also doing a too much to your hair (based on my standards). You should not be cowashing AND deeping conditioning 1-2x week when the hair is fragile and breaking. Matter fact, I don't even do that when my hair is healthy. Hair responds differently, which I know, but I also know that my hair would be a little aggitated, jump off my head and throw up the dueces with doing all that throughout the week. You need a set it and forget it mentality to let it settle and self-correct.
ACV rinse - do you know if this is good for your hair? You need to take it back to the basics, get your hair normalized and then add one thing little by little to see how your hair responds.
Prepoo with oil -- use any oil that your hair loves. Some suggest evco acts like protein on their hair. It doesn't for me but it might for you. Try evoo for safekeeping.
Clarify - removes product buildup. Dilute the shampoo to ensure it doesn't strip the hair down too much.
Cowash - optional but highly recommended. Make sure you use a moisturizing, yet smoothing conditioner. This adds moisture back into the hair right away and helps it keep from tangling as you're going about your deep conditioning routine. My hair gets a little clumpy after shampoo so this smooths it out and makes it manageable for the dep conditioning session.
Deep Condition - use a moisturizing conditioner. Deep condition anywhere from 15-30 minutes.
Rinse hair - I use lukewarm water. Cold / cool water is the norm but it roughes up my cuticles. Warm water allows my cuticles to stay flat, thus my hair doesn't get tangled and wrapped all around itself.
What leave ins are you using? Make sure they are not protein based in any way.
If your hair requires moisture throughout the week - baggy! This is an easy way to get moisture without the stress of cowashing or conditioning.
No extra techniques right now - tea rinsing, etc, etc. Stick to the basics.
Clarify - HairVeda Amala Deep. Whatever you get, just ddilute, dilute dilute. 1 oz product to 8oz water.
Cowash - Sally's GVP Conditioning Balm (great conditioner that smooths)
Deep Conditioner - you can use Sally's GVP Conditioning Balm or Aubrey Organics Honey Suckle Rose. Both are great.
LIs - I use the LOC method. Liquid: water. Oil: evco. Cream: Pura Body Moisture Milk. Again, whatever you use - no protein.
I'm sure there's more to add but I'm on the run and can't stay long.
ETA: had no time to proofread. Hit me back if you have questions or something doesn't make sense. Oh and....avoid -cone based products as much as possible -- can be drying.
Contradictory moment: Mizani H20 is great for breakage. It has -cones if I recall correctly but it's awesome. Works like a champ.
Oh and I relaxed this past Saturday after a 12 week stretch.
I hadn't done anything my hair today because I was going to the salon 
I probably won't ever straighten my hair with a heat tool or use heat tools except the dome hooded dryer.
you're hair is amazing
