Real Talk: Hair Confessions

[Killahkurlz]

I wish my hair was thicker - it broke combs when I was younger. I wish it were less wavy.
. I have dd who is my hair twin. She leaves the house w shiny smooth hair and comes home looking hot mess. It is a brownish reddish color this summer and really looks dry even when it's not. Styles slip right out of her hair. We get split ends easily. It isn't really long though people expect it to be because of her texture.

Now dd2 has thick, jet black sheeny 4a hair. It is a bear to do but styles last for days. Her hair looks best after about a week. It seems so much stronger too. No splits. Long when stretched.

I always hear people on this board wishing for 3 hair. I want more texture, smaller curls, 4 hair. The grass is always greener....

I have a mixture of both and let me tell u, my type 4 is waaaaay easier to manage than my type 3 sections. With the t3, it gets a different kind of tangled, a.nasty kind of.tangled. the t4 sections, not so much.

 

[Healthb4Length]

To this day I still hate giving hair advice to people! Either you gonna take it and try to make it work for you or quit asking me the same thing over and over. My bad that my "nappy" hair has grown and you're "good stuff" has remained the same length for the past 3 years. Not my fault, I even printed and laminated a quick and simple guide for this ***** lol. Sorry I'm outta advice.

On a positive note I love that my Afro Is getting massive and I can do so much more now that my hair is long-ish

 

[Britt]

Since I've been transitioning, well at least taking it day by day so far w/o a relaxer I'v been doing so much research on natural hair. I'm a little anxious b/c I don't quite know what to expect athough a huge part of me thinks I'll love my hair. I guess it's the journey that really kinda makes me impatient. I'm only 22 weeks post relaxer and that is truly just the beginning stages of things. I keep looking at naturals who have a good 2 years of growth but it will take a long time for me to get there. It's the unknown, the journey and tried patience that can be discouraging. I'm a person with the habit of wanting to know everything and likes no surprises but this transition is the total opposite of that. It's like I just want to have long fluffy healthy natural hair overnight. It will take a good years to reach where I want to reach. One thing this is teaching me is patience and acceptance.

 

[melahnee]

When people touch my hair, I always worry that it isn't soft enough.

I know two of the black friends I have are/were jealous of my hair. One of them I see regularly always has to look or comment about it which is both a good and bad thing. A month ago I relaxed my hair and met up with a friend a day or two later, first thing she says when she sees me in a particularly rude tone is "Your hair looks very flat today." Later on in the day when I put my hair up she says, "This is the first time I've seen your hair up!" so I continue by adding that I was thinking of doing it but didn't bother. Her reply then is, "You should have." Honestly I know this is mean but I couldn't help but think "My hair is going to look flat for a few days until I wash it but your hair seems like it's in a permanently damaged state." Sorry, but I'm tired of people with damaged hair saying the most.

I can't stand seeing relaxed/texlaxed girls on Youtube do their length checks by pulling, tugging, and stretching their hair all the way down to say their hair reaches a certain point. Okay maybe there's some shrinkage due to having new growth or the hair not being completely straight but your hair isn't naturally going to fall all the way to the point you're stretching your hair up to anyway. I honestly find all the extra pulling looks so silly.

omg what a B. i'm sorry you have to deal with that The bolded is my life. i swear people always have somethin to say like we give a FU**!!
lol, like nice hair inspiration you are with your twigs or your type 1 hair that is holdin on for dear life..don't even wanna think about what you'd do with my hair on your head..

 

[Blessed&higlyflavoured]

Confession:

I'd say 30% of my drive regarding my career is so I can afford better products. That and earn more money than my sister.

 

[natura87]

I hate wearing my hair straightened bcuz I'm not satisfied with my length.

I've never NOT had a few broken hairs on my hands after moisturizing and sealing

My crown area roots dread up something fierce if I don't detangle weekly.[/QUOTE]


Are you me?

 

[whiteoleander91]

Since I've been transitioning, well at least taking it day by day so far w/o a relaxer I'v been doing so much research on natural hair. I'm a little anxious b/c I don't quite know what to expect athough a huge part of me thinks I'll love my hair. I guess it's the journey that really kinda makes me impatient. I'm only 22 weeks post relaxer and that is truly just the beginning stages of things. I keep looking at naturals who have a good 2 years of growth but it will take a long time for me to get there. It's the unknown, the journey and tried patience that can be discouraging. I'm a person with the habit of wanting to know everything and likes no surprises but this transition is the total opposite of that. It's like I just want to have long fluffy healthy natural hair overnight. It will take a good years to reach where I want to reach. One thing this is teaching me is patience and acceptance.

Brittster I know transitioning can be hard mentally. Transitioning made me appreciate every single inch of hair growth b/c it was tough seeing ladies with heads full of long natural hair when I had barely started growing my own. Even still--and I know can't speak for every person who has ever transitioned to natural hair--it has been so worth it. I am so glad that I stuck with it. I'm glad that I at least gave my natural hair a chance. Hang in there!

 

[Britt]

awww thanks whiteolender91, there are days when I think of just getting a perm and I'm not even far along. I know deep down it will be worth it to keep pushing along. Thanks for the words of encouragement. Your bun in your siggy is beautiful!

 

[wavezncurlz]

@wavezncurlz, I need step by step directions for that bun. Are those pin curls? The bun is so pretty!

Thanks MileHighDiva

This 3 or 4 long twists rolled into bun. I think it looks better on our hair because we have more texture. I've seen it done with added hair too'

check out these videos :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zn1ZkHUUPOk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEkaDI3L8nQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I57f-_ZJTmk

 

[spellinto]

right now i feel that i don't want to ever go natural....

Me neither. I've achieved so much with relaxed hair that I really can't imagine starting all over with natural hair. Plus I really love how straight/wavy hair looks on me...I don't think I'd look as good with a TWA as I do with TBL relaxed hair. Oh well To each his own!

 

[Extremus]

I'm going to be the biggest hypocrite once I get my sew in I was sooo anti-weaves and I went so hard on my friends that wore them. But I'm so stoked to get my first install

With that being said, this is my biggest fear:

i'm afraid if i ever wear weaves, people will think i'm ghetto.

I hate wearing my hair straightened bcuz I'm not satisfied with my length.

I thought I was the only one who felt like this. Especially going from BSL to APL.

I've never NOT had a few broken hairs on my hands after moisturizing and sealing

I'm so glad I'm not the only one. It's been this way since my setback. I see you have long hair, so there's no need to fear too much I hope.

 

[ilong]

Real Confession:

I feel that I've lost years of having gorgeious long natural hair by not researching the existence LHCF and others.

I want my "bare" spots to be have grown in with new growth by next year

I want to take my wig (PS) off and my hair be BSL or MBL - TOMORROW!!!

I am getting overly anxious to meet my 2014 Steppin Out" goal of BSL/MBL

I want my hair to grow long enough ..

... to wear my hair straightened and wear it out so folks will be like "say what???"

... to go skating and dancing, do some turns/spins and have my hair "all up in somebody's face"

... so that a wash n' go/braidout/twist out is SL

...so people think I have my wig on or weave in

... to cover my SO's chest

 

[NaiyaAi]

I hate when I encounter someone who's natural talking about hair problems and I give them a suggestion that I learned from stalking the natural threads here on LHCF and then I get the side eye just because I'm relaxed.

I also hate when people ask me when I'm going natural because as of right now, my answer is "never." I don't have anything against going natural, but I could never BC and there's no way I could transition and retain ALL of my length so that's why I could never do it. I worked hard to make BSL and I'm holding onto my length for as long as possible. But people don't want to hear that. They just hear "Oh, I'm probably never going natural" and assume I hate everything about natural hair which is the farthest thing from the truth.

I used to love coming home from school, but now I hate it because my family is always making comments about my hair and it makes me feel embarrassed about my own hair. Nevermind that I have the longest hair in my family. The slightest bit of visible new growth and it's "you need a touchup." Or if I don't gel down my edges, which I don't like to do so I don't get product buildup, it's "Are you gonna go outside looking like that?" It's just so frustrating, because they don't understand that part of being on a HHJ means that making my hair fit their standards of "presentability" would mean breakage for me.

 

[whiteoleander91]

awww thanks whiteolender91, there are days when I think of just getting a perm and I'm not even far along. I know deep down it will be worth it to keep pushing along. Thanks for the words of encouragement. Your bun in your siggy is beautiful!

Brittster I'm just now seeing this, thank you for the lovely compliment! And no problem :3

 

[Blessed&higlyflavoured]

***bump***

 

[brownb83]

I am retaining length and I dont sleep with a scarf on twice a week.

 

[Saludable84]

I barely m&s these days.

 

[teysmith]

I never wrap my hair up with a scarf at night. I rarely use a leave in moisturizer. I don't trim my ends as needed.

 

[atlien11]

I am natural and i am finally getting the hang of doing my hair just how i like it (big and curly ). While this looks really cute in sundresses, jeans+tanks, etc. I have a client in Manhattan located in the heart of the most extreme professional environments of nyc. Women who work here wear power suits every day of the week (yes these places still exist).

I have to be there for two weeks and i dont know how to make my hair look "professional". I still think white people have a complex about women who wear their hair natural in these settings.
- I want to straighten it but i don't want to mess with my curl pattern.
- I thought about getting weave but thats a lot of work for two weeks
- Maybe i can put it in a bun (boring but do-able)
- Maybe i should just get over it and wear my curly length with a suit
- wigs...ehh....too much hair in a suit is a fail

I dunno...

 

[mz.rae]

I getting so disgusted with my natural hair right now! It's to the point I'm starting to resent it and other natural hair. Weird I know. I've been eyeing relaxers and my old hairdressers website to schedule a virgin relaxer. But I know this too shall pass and it will be worth it in the end... hopefully... I've only been fully natural 6 months after a one in a half year transition. I think I'm looking back at my relaxed days with rose colored glasses, because there were times where I had gotten fed up with being relaxed as well.

 

[Destiny9109]

I'm currently(and for most of my hhj) use direct heat once a week. The way I figure it is, before my hhj I used direct heat at least 5x a week(highschool) without taking care of it(washed maybe once a month, never used conditioner, leave in, brushed with bristle brush wet)....it was long and thrived.

Now that I'm taking good care of it(protein treatments, dc once or twice a week, using heat protectant, quality products, m&s) I don't see the harm in using heat ONCE weekly compared to 5x week with bad hair care practices.

And besides, I don't have time to spend so much money and STILL look a mess lol.

 

[PinkSunshine77]

I sadly don't have any hair confessions. I dare not ever do half of these things though or I'd end up bald.

 

[Straighthoodtea]

I broke my no heat challenge and flat ironed my hair because a boy said he liked straight hair.....I feel bad. Especially since this boy doesn't even like me.

 

[Straighthoodtea]

I getting so disgusted with my natural hair right now! It's to the point I'm starting to resent it and other natural hair. Weird I know. I've been eyeing relaxers and my old hairdressers website to schedule a virgin relaxer. But I know this too shall pass and it will be worth it in the end... hopefully... I've only been fully natural 6 months after a one in a half year transition. I think I'm looking back at my relaxed days with rose colored glasses, because there were times where I had gotten fed up with being relaxed as well.

Why are you fed up? We're about the same on transitioning and being fully natural. Im 7-8 months fully natural too I get frustrated sometimes because I dont know what to do with my hair outside of wash n gos xD

 

[mz.rae]

Why are you fed up? We're about the same on transitioning and being fully natural. Im 7-8 months fully natural too I get frustrated sometimes because I dont know what to do with my hair outside of wash n gos xD

I think it's because nothing I seem to do seems to work. Like I just feel like all my hair does is break off and stay the same length. I've tried braid outs which don't really look good on my hair. I just mastered twist outs but they take a long time to put in. I do like wash and goes, and right now I've been heat styling to reduce tangles. I'm just not sure if I'm going to make it to BSL by the end of summer.

 

[Willow00]

I spend the least amount of money and personal time on my hair, yet growing and caring for my hair has always been on the top of my to do list. I want it long and healthy but i don't. feel like doing fudge to it...oh the irony.

 

[bronzephoenix]

I always feel shy & embarrassed when people compliment my hair. I think I have such an intimate relationship with my hair, I forget that others can see it.

At MBL, I was too humble to whip my hair around (publicly). I would feel really uncomfortable & almost guilty when other black women would stare.

I always get stuck when people ask what I use on my hair or how I styled it. That feels way too personal.

I hate the term "good hair".

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[GettingKinky]

I admit I was feeling petty today but here goes.

I was at the grocery store with my hair in its typical bun. I kept seeing women wearing weave and every time I passed one I kept wishing my hair was out so that they could see that my own hair is longer than their weave.

 

[Prettymetty]

I only dc at the salon right before my blowout. At home I condition my hair with vo5.

I don't use a leave in after I shampoo and condition. I just put a little oil on my ends.

My hair is always pulled up in a bun, updo or hidden under a wig. This is not to protect my ends...I am not happy with my length yet.

If I had to choose between losing my baby weight within a year or retaining all my growth in a year, I would choose the weight loss. Health before length

 

[SunRai Naturals]

I feel like I have the most difficult hair. It's tangly from root to tip, very hard to moisturize, very fine strands, yet very very coarse. My hair is just like Marley hair & not the soft kind. I'm on a journey to hip length & possibly beyond but today after taking my hair out of braids I realized that I'm not enjoying this anymore.
I want to be able to see my length w/out feeling like it's a fight. Lol. Beyond that I just want to live a little outside of PS'ing.
After 14 years natural I actually thought about getting a relaxer.