Real Talk: Hair Confessions

I wish I learned about proper hair care when I was a teenager.

I cosign. My mother taught me how to take care of my hair by showing me but the problem is that my hair changed a bit over time and it wasn't the same at 15/16 as it was at 10/11. Plus, since I got older, I was not walking around with the same styles so it was frustrating. She kept telling me "don't do [insert whatever I was doing] to your hair" but didn't tell me what to do instead. Now I'm teaching her how to do hers :lol:
 
@CodeRed


Right! My mom is resistant to learning better...she slaps on a wig and calls it done.

Oldschoolers are the hardest to get on board. They want to tell you that that's what they used to do in 1975 and it worked so it should work now.... Honestly, it didn't really work in 1975 but ya'll were all walking around with the same looking hair so that's what you were used to and thought it was working :lol:

I will say, though, that the hot comb is still a good idea and afros are always welcome. I think I can leave everything else behind.
 
• I don't like deep conditioners as much as conditioners; they just don't perform the same on my hair at all. A lot of the time a deep conditioner will promise so much softness and moisture but my hair will be left feeling lackluster – the ones I'm referring to have that thick, masque texture that everyone but me seems to love. :look: Even my protein treatment is labelled as a conditioner but it has proteins, panthenol, and ceramide oils in the first 5 ingredients and I can FEEL that it's working in its own way.
• I rely heavily on rinse-out conditioners and – my newer love – serums. :love5: I get softness, smoothness, and I'm able to lock in moisture easily. I also love sulfates and silicones to clean efficiently and protect my hair from heat. :look: :wacky:

• I hate homemade hair treatments. :angry2: All of those avocado/egg/mayo/honey DIY treatments are a complete fail for me. :whip: One of my setbacks was caused by an avocado hair mask so I will never put any of those Youtube home remedies on my hair ever again. The most I can do is an at-home oil treatment, which is great, but it's messy and time-consuming so I usually don't bother.

• Usually I'm able to know that conditioner is good because my hair will droop a lot when the product is in and be hard to keep in a clip. :supergrin:

• I use vitamins for both health and hair equally. My diet is very up and down so in case I don't get my nutrients, I can get them from supplements. Healthy inside = healthy outside. I frequently look at beauty supplement reviews so that it keeps me wanting to take my vitamins just from hearing about other people's benefits for their hair, skin, and nails.
 
Healthy inside = healthy outside.

I totally agree :yep:

Co-signing on the rinse out conditioners... Those have saved my hair so much... and the avocado egg treatment... pretty sure my sister wanted to murder me after I recommended it without trying it first. We both had crap stuck in our hair :lol:
 
Don't foresee natural any where in my future. I like wearing my hair down and I want it to be light and flowy. Natural doesn't give that to me. One bit of humidity and my hair reverts like crazy. Even stretching is out of the question anymore. I can hardly part my hair after 10-12 weeks.


Whenever I wear my hair down, I always seem to have to bump my ends in the morning so I end up using heat daily
I haven't had a real moisturizer in months....but my hair is still growing. Just bought some Kids Organics Moisturizer and Detangler

I can't do the protective styling all the time. I like wearing my hair out and I don't look right with ponytails.

I'm extremely lazy about moisturizing, sealing, DC....everything

I often lay on my cotton pillow without a bonnet or scarf

Thick hair is over rated

It's funny reading this from 2008, now that I've been transitioning and haven't had a relaxer since Feb 2014. Haha. Guess I learned how to manage my natural texture. I hardly ever wear my hair straight now. Trying to keep the heat off. Oh how things change with time.
 
• I don't like deep conditioners as much as conditioners; they just don't perform the same on my hair at all. A lot of the time a deep conditioner will promise so much softness and moisture but my hair will be left feeling lackluster – the ones I'm referring to have that thick, masque texture that everyone but me seems to love.
You are not alone. My hair doesn't feel the least bit conditioned after using DCs/masques. I thought my expectations were too high, but my coworker said her hair definitely feels conditioned.
 
Me too! I didn't realize I'd love it so much! I feel bad cuz so many people seem to have trouble with their hair, but I loooove mine. :cloud9:

I love my hair even when it gives me trouble because generally it's my fault it's giving me problems :lol:. I actually like that my hair isn't super thick and it does what I expect it to/want it to do. I have a really simple regimen that works for me and I thank God that I don't have to break the bank or spend a bunch of time for my hair to be healthy.
 
I am doing everything I can to make my hair super thick and dense. Taking supplements, using Njoy Oil, protective styling with no heat, coconut oil pre poos, eating very well and excercising. We will see in 6 months if all this works. So far I've been very consistent for the last 20 days.

On a scale of 1 to 10, the highest my hair has been is a 7. I want a 10
 
I totally destroyed a good part of my progress by using heat. I straightened my hair at a (Dominican) salon in September and December 2014. I didn't know it was a Dominican salon at first, but when I did, I still went back the second time and asked that they use less heat. That didn't happen. Instead, heat damage did. I'm very upset about this.

:(
 
*confession*

A teeny tiny part of me is regretting the mini chop I did last week because the devil: on my shoulder is whispering go get a relaxer. I don't see how people have twist outs lasting 4/5 days. I don't have time or energy to keep redoing like this. I know I won't know what my hair will really do until I get rid of the rest of these permed ends but mine are not blending properly and even at 17 not 18 mths I'm not about that short hair life anymore. I've done it plenty of times with variations of the Halle/Nia Long cut. I think I'm going to braid this up and keep it that way for a few more months of growth before I do something rash.

Besides ya'll low key have me turning into a product junkie. :p
 
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I totally agree :yep:

Co-signing on the rinse out conditioners... Those have saved my hair so much... and the avocado egg treatment... pretty sure my sister wanted to murder me after I recommended it without trying it first. We both had crap stuck in our hair :lol:

I love them too! The price is right also! $5 vs $20+ – expensive isn't always better. :look: I think I only like 4 masks and I know at least one is just as cheap as rinse out conditioners; the other 3 are generally considered cheap for masks.
Wow... how did you get the food out?! I had matting in my hair so bad that I had to do a decent cut. :burnup: NEVER AGAIN. I DO NOT GET THE HYPE. I rather use avocado oil than to EVER put a whole avocado in my hair again... it was a nightmare. :censored:

You are not alone. My hair doesn't feel the least bit conditioned after using DCs/masques. I thought my expectations were too high, but my coworker said her hair definitely feels conditioned.

I'm glad I'm not the only one! I tried everything but I guess my hair just doesn't like them. :sad: Even steaming doesn't help it much. I thought I was just using the wrong masks but I've tried a lot of products so I think it's my hair.
 
Wow... how did you get the food out?! I had matting in my hair so bad that I had to do a decent cut. :burnup:

I too thought I was going to have to cut it because it was matted. I shampooed... and shampooed... and shampooed... and then deep conditioned (put regular conditioner in and let it sit for a long time lol)... rinsed it out and did it again... and again... and again lol... By the time I was done it still wasn't all out but I could detangle my hair (I had more than normal shedding/possible breakage) and I blow-dried my hair with the comb attachment and some pieces of avocado fell out. I still had to pick a few out after all that. Crazy crazy crazy. I'm going to try avocado oil also and see how it does.

I think, for both me and my sister anyway, we didn't blend it enough. It was really chunky instead of looking smooth like a conditioner. I thought about doing it a few weeks ago but nah, I'll pass. I have enough low cost/decent priced products that I don't have to go through all that.
 
I grew up washing my hair (with shampoo) at least once or twice a week. I stopped that when I came to the board. When I started transitioning, I went back to m regular use of shampoo and my hair is thriving. :duck:
How often did you wash your hair when you came to the board? I'm guessing 1x/month? I think some people's hair needs that "constant" refresh of moisture so it'll be better for some to wash 1x-2x/week instead of further apart.
 
I used to have really bad hair envy. I would look at youtube and celebrities and wish that my hair was like that (claire from my wife and kids hair). I wear wash and gos a lot now and in doing that I have really gotten to understand the way my curls curl and what they need to be the best they can be. And when they are the best they can be, I could not care less about what suzie mae or bonqueshia is doing. I admire what they have, but I'm in love with what I've got :)
 
I really, really love my hair.


Really.
Me too! I didn't realize I'd love it so much! I feel bad cuz so many people seem to have trouble with their hair, but I loooove mine. :cloud9:

Have to cosign this. Even when I neglect my hair, it behaves. Went backpacking for 9 weeks, trying random conditioners; neglecting it for a few days when water was not an option; sleeping in buses, trains, tents, and on rough hostel sheets, and it just behaved. She is very kind to me and I love her for it. Plus she always looks fabulous.
 
I too thought I was going to have to cut it because it was matted. I shampooed... and shampooed... and shampooed... and then deep conditioned (put regular conditioner in and let it sit for a long time lol)... rinsed it out and did it again... and again... and again lol... By the time I was done it still wasn't all out but I could detangle my hair (I had more than normal shedding/possible breakage) and I blow-dried my hair with the comb attachment and some pieces of avocado fell out. I still had to pick a few out after all that. Crazy crazy crazy. I'm going to try avocado oil also and see how it does.

I think, for both me and my sister anyway, we didn't blend it enough. It was really chunky instead of looking smooth like a conditioner. I thought about doing it a few weeks ago but nah, I'll pass. I have enough low cost/decent priced products that I don't have to go through all that.
Ugh, I tried everything and it only made a bit of a difference, I actually had to cut lol. I think I had to use half a bottle of Tresemme to get my hair to soften only a little. I could feel the roughness and it wasn't getting much better. I had a lot of breakage and had to cut out knots anyway so my hair was uneven and crazy; my stylist at the time evened my hair up, went from grazing WL to APL. :sad: I made my avocado mask super smooth because I used a blender but it hardened on my hair and made it feel like hay. :whip: At least it was easy to rinse out though. :lachen:

Don't do it. Do not mess with a good thing. I think that's what I'd recommend for anyone that wants long hair whether they've only now made the decision or they've been on a HHJ for a while, just stick to what works. :lol: Avocado oil is nice though! :grin: Very nourishing and penetrates the hair. I tend to use it on my skin because after like 2 days oils smell rancid on my hair.
 
@Aireen

Funny that I'm reading where you say that your hair does better with rinse-out conditioners vs "deep conditioners." On this board, time and time again, it is said that nothing does as well as a deep conditioner that is designed as such. I've also found that my hair behaves better with rinse outs. And, you ain't lied when you point out the cost. When I first joined the board, I about lost my mind and a grip of my money splurging on all of the expensive, high-end conditioners. I got a hold of Aussie and stepped up to Humectress and have been more pleased with my results.
 
@Aireen

Funny that I'm reading where you say that your hair does better with rinse-out conditioners vs "deep conditioners." On this board, time and time again, it is said that nothing does as well as a deep conditioner that is designed as such. I've also found that my hair behaves better with rinse outs. And, you ain't lied when you point out the cost. When I first joined the board, I about lost my mind and a grip of my money splurging on all of the expensive, high-end conditioners. I got a hold of Aussie and stepped up to Humectress and have been more pleased with my results.
Exactlyyyy! :yep: I think it's good to try a couple masks and deep conditioners because you never know, you might find a gem. Like I said, I like 4 lol but overall, rinse-outs > deep conditioners. My hair is fine once I keep it simple and give it a shot of protein. I think the board has to focus on rules for the general population but imo, if they rules don't work for you, try something different and you may be pleasantly surprised. Also, never mind what people say because it's YOUR hair and YOU know it best. :yep: Aussie is GREAT, sooo much slip, I just got sick of the smell. :lachen:
 
The only food grade items I use are oils and honey. Yrs ago when I was learning about my natural hair, I decided to do a protein treatment using eggs and mayo. That was the worse thing I ever done. I had egg bits all through my hair plus my hair looked and felt horrible. Plus I don't like to eat eggs and mayo so I should've taken that as a sign.
 
For those of you using rinse out conditioners, do you use heat with it or just use it in the shower?

I've used VO5 with heat because I added oil to it. Most of the time I'm just using them in the shower as a co-wash to either clean my hair or a post deep conditioner wash to get the extra oil out.
 
How often did you wash your hair when you came to the board? I'm guessing 1x/month? I think some people's hair needs that "constant" refresh of moisture so it'll be better for some to wash 1x-2x/week instead of further apart.
:yep: I was a Wen girl at the time.

Have to cosign this. Even when I neglect my hair, it behaves. Went backpacking for 9 weeks, trying random conditioners; neglecting it for a few days when water was not an option; sleeping in buses, trains, tents, and on rough hostel sheets, and it just behaved. She is very kind to me and I love her for it. Plus she always looks fabulous.
:wave: Hey girl!
 
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