Real Life Scenario: Would You Bust the Cheater?

[wyldcurlz]

i posted part of this in off-topics forum but i wanted to get other opinions on it.

basically if you knew a woman whose husband was cheating on her and she had no idea...would you tell her? knowing it'd ruin her day, possibly ruin her marriage? should she know that he's cheating on her and their child?




(backgrounder: girl i work with is cheating, her bf found out and wants her to call the wife up and inform her...or else he (the mistress' boyfriend) will tell the wife.)

 

[justNikki]

In that scenario, I wouldn't say anything. If its someone close to mer, I'd find a way for her to see for herself.

 

[guudhair]

I wouldn't say anything...

 

[jamaicalovely]

I would. It could save her life...these days. I think men get away with it more because folks don't snitch. We need to stand up and put an end to this crap.

 

[wyldcurlz]

In that scenario, I wouldn't say anything. If its someone close to mer, I'd find a way for her to see for herself.

he does it when he's out of town on business so there is no way for her to see. she doesn't travel with him, stays home with the baby.

 

[cookie1]

I would. It could save her life...these days. I think men get away with it more because folks don't snitch. We need to stand up and put an end to this crap.

I understand where you're coming from but, usually situations like that will turn on you because the woman will eventually be mad at you for "ruining" her marriage/relationship. She'll take that man back before she except you back and you haven't done anything. This is a hard one for me just because woman tend to believe their cheating mates a little too much when the truth has already smacked them in the face.

 

[ThickHair]

No one is 100% sure that the wife doesn't know. All because she is putting on "the face" for public doesn't mean she is blind to what is going on.

Plus some people get their kicks giving bad news. I always think what is in it for the person who spills the beans? Now a days this is not an altrustic society.

 

[Nyssa28]

I can understand why the boyfriend wants to tell.

 

[onyxdreams]

The boyfriend is a player in this saga so he has evry right to tell the wife.

 

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

Yes, I'll tell you. And if you know something I don't about my DH or man, whether I know you or not, you better tell me too.

 

[moonglowdiva]

I wouldn't involve myself in drama because what is done in the dark will come to the light.

 

[cicilypayne]

wow I say ..I would not say unless I was directly involved like the bf, the misstress or the hubby.

 

[wyldcurlz]

wow I say ..I would not say unless I was directly involved like the bf, the misstress or the hubby.

interesting...so, if you were the mistress you WOULD say something to the wife? that's fascinating because i've never heard anyone say that before. i know the mistress and the cheater...she's torn - its a wierd situation.

 

[SleekandBouncy]

If I were her BF I would feel the same way. Now that I know I would feel it's only right that I extend the same favor to the other party. What they do with that information is up to them. Then I'd leave her ho arse.

As to generally, if you are my friend then yes I will tell you. I'm not going to be part of your humiliation by knowing and not telling. I may not tell you directly, but may instead find a way to make sure you find out (anonymous letter with picture proof, etc.), but you will find out. I don't think I can call myself someone's friend and not tell them. So what if they don't leave, that's their choice, but they still have a right to know and if you're their friend your loyalty should be to them. Plus, cheating can be a game of life or death in more ways than one in spite of folks who cheat "responsibly"/

 

[wyldcurlz]

Sleek & Bouncy - i agree. if it were my friend, i would want to know. in this case, i don't know the wife. just the two cheaters. i just can't imagine actually "telling" the wife. and that is apparently what is supposed to happen. one of them is supposed to tell the wife.

 

[jaiku]

If it's my friend I'd tell. In this particular scenario I'm not saying anything. I don't owe his wife anything. I'm not her husband. I'd let the boyfriend do it. Personally, I don't know too many remorseful hoes.

 

[JinaRicci]

She deserves to know. I hate when ppl make assumptions about whether the person would want to know or not. We can't read minds- give the person the chance to make their own decision. Whether or not someone tells the wife, her marriage is already ruined- vows already broken. Keeping info like that secret could kill her- literally. I would confront the husband- let it come from him- he should be man enough to do that. And then if she wants to fix her marriage or move on, well then it's all up to her.