* Rant*Why is it that...

[natura87]

Why is it that those with absolutely nothing to say seem to say it anyway?

I feel like I am surrounded by people that have no reason to talk about haircare/healthy eating/life in general, and yet they think I need their opinion. Yes, becuase I am going to take the advice of an obese woman about my drinking soymilk and owning a container of coconut oil. I am going to let someone that has never seen NL tell me what to do with my flourushing natural hair. I have transitioned, BC'd , surpassed them and then some in only 19 months, but apparently they know best. I am going to let their opinion "You wont find a job with that nappy $%!* on yo head. Relax it, thas what God made em for!"...yeah, you work at Wendy's, so um I'll keep that in mind.

Just so you know I am not Buju Banton, Lauren Hill, Angie Stone or Jill Scott. I do not have nougats(WTF?) on my head, I am not Dora the Explorer and for the love of all that is holy and sanctified stop singing "Golden" when I walk into the room.Yeah my life is pretty darn golden but I need not be reminded of it every darn day it gets repetitive and annoying.

Have you experienced ignorance from family members or close friends in resistance to your hair? Whether it be natural, texlazed or relaxed how have the people around you reacted to your "interest" (or obsession what ever you want to call it) in healthy haircare?

 

[girlyprincess23]

Of course!!!!!!!!! My first 2 attempts at transitioning to natural (actually I just BC'ed it) were thwarted by my family and "others" (who really had no business in my business). But I was younger with no money and super impressionable. BUT this time not so young and not so broke and I love that I do not have to depend on relaxers and stylists and the versatility unrelaxed hair affords me. Even if I do use BKT to transition slowly and whether that's natural or not (don't know and don't care) it has allowed me to do what I want which is slowly break away from relaxers, be able to go from curly to straight and back again, and just see what my hair can do without all the drawbacks and damage from relaxers. So if people are brain drained about the beauty of natural hair and wish to foist their insecurities on you just to make theirselves feel better or whatever.........take it from someone who wishes they had never gone back to relaxers after the first time all those many years ago...Brush em off!!!

 

[QBOE2001]

Sorry you have to go through this...no one in my family or close circle of friends comments on anyone else's head unless it looks unhealthy or unclean. Be it natural, relaxed or somewhere in between, we all just seem to do our own thang. Now I will say that no one in my family is surprised by the amount of time i spend on this board as they often "ask" me to research various things for them...but that's probably because most of my sisters and cousins have alot of allergies and we're always looking for products that we can use that don't give us hives or itchy skin and eyes. Perhaps that's the difference???

 

[Aviah]

I'm sorry but I had to laugh (HARD) at how ironic it is (and random) that people who don't get it think they do. I never got it that bad going natural, but I did get things from my mother like "you wash your hair to much, its going to fall out" or my grandmother telling me "aw, she's molesting the poor hair again", and my mom jokingly calling me Macy Gray or telling me "comb my hair". Many people don't like anything different. You gotta do you, and eventually, by holding your stance people will get over it, and some will even respect you for doing you. You like it, and that's what matters.
Only you have to comb and take care of it, and it shouldn't bother anyone else.#

ETA: SO and mther think I'm obsessed. I concur. Well, mostly.

 

[Truth]

LET EM HATE!!!! People always have opinions, ignore the negativity. Like you said, you've surpassed them all, so let them talk.

 

[Nameless]

Why is it that those with absolutely nothing to say seem to say it anyway?

I feel like I am surrounded by people that have no reason to talk about haircare/healthy eating/life in general, and yet they think I need their opinion. Yes, becuase I am going to take the advice of an obese woman about my drinking soymilk and owning a container of coconut oil. I am going to let someone that has never seen NL tell me what to do with my flourushing natural hair. I have transitioned, BC'd , surpassed them and then some in only 19 months, but apparently they know best. I am going to let their opinion "You wont find a job with that nappy $%!* on yo head. Relax it, thas what God made em for!"...yeah, you work at Wendy's, so um I'll keep that in mind.

Just so you know I am not Buju Banton, Lauren Hill, Angie Stone or Jill Scott. I do not have nougats(WTF?) on my head, I am not Dora the Explorer and for the love of all that is holy and sanctified stop singing "Golden" when I walk into the room.Yeah my life is pretty darn golden but I need not be reminded of it every darn day it gets repetitive and annoying.

Have you experienced ignorance from family members or close friends in resistance to your hair? Whether it be natural, texlazed or relaxed how have the people around you reacted to your "interest" (or obsession what ever you want to call it) in healthy haircare?

The bolded REALLY irritates me. Nobody needs to relax their hair, they should only do it if they want to and this is coming from a relaxed head.
I only started relaxing my hair recently (just after I turned 21). When I had natural hair, some cousins would say: "you're getting older, natural hair doesn't look cute anymore"
When I relaxed because I wanted a change, they were like "finally." That's annoying.

 

[julzinha]

Girl you read my mind!!! I was about to start a thread called Family Frustrations because that is all I experience in terms of my family and my hair. I refuse to relax my hair all together. I didn't even know I was completely natural until I found this forum and realized that relaxer doesn't wash out and all my relaxer ends had broken off.I have worn braid extensions since I was 5 but have never achieved anything longer than NL because I didn't wask my braids or moisturize my hair. I found this forum and started my HHJ. I buy good products, have a great out of braid regimen, and I am following the crown and glory method for braid extensions and my hair is a little past SL now and I am completely natural.

I am constantly told by my sister to relax my hair, relax my hair because "your hair is healthier when you relax it" (what!!!) This is coming from a girl who has damaged relaxer ends and didn't believe in deep conditioning (eventhough i told her to) until her hair stylist told her it was good for your hair. She is willing to pay $400 for a weave instead of growing her own hair because she believes black women can't grow their hair past SL. My mom told me I can't be natural because I don't know how to take care of it (which means relax my hair because natural hair is too much work) and my hair is very healthy. My only motivation is do anything you can to get to BSL stretched and quickly to prove to my sister and mom that black women can have long, healthy, natural hair.

I love my natural hair, I finally through this forum, know how to manage my natural hair, keep it healthy, and grow it long. My family just frustrates me and I can't tell my sister about this site because she won't believe a thing anyone says unless she sees the proof. So once I hit BSL stretched and she asks (I know she will) how I got there I will give her this forum.

Sorry for the long rant, but I've been meaning to rant for a long time because of them.

 

[Almaz]

No never from family but I have always been natural it is always from silly non-black people namely white women you are always saying

Gee Almaz You have lots of hair it pretty

BUTTTT I always like to see the Black girls with really short afros why don't you cut yours like that.

I am like why you made because I have long hair and all you have is stringy overly dyed straw hair. That looks like a dryed tip that has to be teased and back comb with a rat tailed comb with in an inch of its life and sprayed to high heaven and in the end you STILL only have 3 strands of hair

Get outta here

 

[natura87]

Girl you read my mind!!! I was about to start a thread called Family Frustrations because that is all I experience in terms of my family and my hair. I refuse to relax my hair all together. I didn't even know I was completely natural until I found this forum and realized that relaxer doesn't wash out and all my relaxer ends had broken off.I have worn braid extensions since I was 5 but have never achieved anything longer than NL because I didn't wask my braids or moisturize my hair. I found this forum and started my HHJ. I buy good products, have a great out of braid regimen, and I am following the crown and glory method for braid extensions and my hair is a little past SL now and I am completely natural.

I am constantly told by my sister to relax my hair, relax my hair because "your hair is healthier when you relax it" (what!!!) This is coming from a girl who has damaged relaxer ends and didn't believe in deep conditioning (eventhough i told her to) until her hair stylist told her it was good for your hair. She is willing to pay $400 for a weave instead of growing her own hair because she believes black women can't grow their hair past SL. My mom told me I can't be natural because I don't know how to take care of it (which means relax my hair because natural hair is too much work) and my hair is very healthy. My only motivation is do anything you can to get to BSL stretched and quickly to prove to my sister and mom that black women can have long, healthy, natural hair.

I love my natural hair, I finally through this forum, know how to manage my natural hair, keep it healthy, and grow it long. My family just frustrates me and I can't tell my sister about this site because she won't believe a thing anyone says unless she sees the proof. So once I hit BSL stretched and she asks (I know she will) how I got there I will give her this forum.

Sorry for the long rant, but I've been meaning to rant for a long time because of them.

Wow...that is ...um, deep right there. WOW.

 

[Almaz]

Well all I can say is just keep on your path because when you finally grow your hair out to the desired length you want. THESE SAME haters are going to be say.

Naw see you got the GOOOODDDD hair and that is why it grew so much.
What did you did.
Can you help me
I swear we got some Indian in the family

 

[cmw45]

Why is it that those with absolutely nothing to say seem to say it anyway?

I feel like I am surrounded by people that have no reason to talk about haircare/healthy eating/life in general, and yet they think I need their opinion. Yes, becuase I am going to take the advice of an obese woman about my drinking soymilk and owning a container of coconut oil. I am going to let someone that has never seen NL tell me what to do with my flourushing natural hair. I have transitioned, BC'd , surpassed them and then some in only 19 months, but apparently they know best. I am going to let their opinion "You wont find a job with that nappy $%!* on yo head. Relax it, thas what God made em for!"...yeah, you work at Wendy's, so um I'll keep that in mind.

Just so you know I am not Buju Banton, Lauren Hill, Angie Stone or Jill Scott. I do not have nougats(WTF?) on my head, I am not Dora the Explorer and for the love of all that is holy and sanctified stop singing "Golden" when I walk into the room.Yeah my life is pretty darn golden but I need not be reminded of it every darn day it gets repetitive and annoying.

Have you experienced ignorance from family members or close friends in resistance to your hair? Whether it be natural, texlazed or relaxed how have the people around you reacted to your "interest" (or obsession what ever you want to call it) in healthy haircare?

My message was too short.

 

[natura87]

Well all I can say is just keep on your path because when you finally grow your hair out to the desired length you want. THESE SAME haters are going to be say.

Naw see you got the GOOOODDDD hair and that is why it grew so much.
What did you did.
Can you help me
I swear we got some Indian in the family

The thing that gets me is my mother is mixed race (3 technically), as both of my maternal grandparents are..and it goes back further. My mother is relatively fairskinned, like Persia White from Girlfriends in the summer time, and I am definetly not. Yet I dont see thing called "good hair" in my family at all- I see scraggly ends and hiding under 5 month old rewashed micros. So apparently Ive gotten my father's traits when it comes to everything and I have that Deep South Bama hair. So no "good hair" 'round these parts.

I dont have a desired length per se, I have just tired of the chemicals...but all the negativity. I mean really?

 

[Almaz]

Does not matter as soon as it is grown out it will come out

trust me on this.

The thing that gets me is my mother is mixed race technically, as both of my maternal grandparents are..and it goes back further. My mother is relatively fairskinned, like Persia White from Girlfriends in the summer time, and I am definetly not. Yet I dont see thsig "good hair"- I see scraggly ends and hiding under 5 month old rewashed micros. So apparently Ive gotten my father's traits when it comes to everything and I have that Deep South Bama hair. So no "good hair" 'round these parts.

I dont have a desired length per se, I have just tired of the chemicals...but all the negativity. I mean really?

 

[nubiennze]

No never from family but I have always been natural it is always from silly non-black people namely white women you are always saying

Gee Almaz You have lots of hair it pretty

BUTTTT I always like to see the Black girls with really short afros why don't you cut yours like that.

I am like why you made because I have long hair and all you have is stringy overly dyed straw hair. That looks like a dryed tip that has to be teased and back comb with a rat tailed comb with in an inch of its life and sprayed to high heaven and in the end you STILL only have 3 strands of hair

Get outta here

Interestingly I get pretty favorable responses from white women...one lady stopped me in Wal-Mart and said, "I really love when black women wear their hair like that. It's so pretty...may I touch it?" (I said yes, lol. Now that I think about it though, I was rocking the TWA that day, so maybe it does have something to do with conforming to their expectations of our ability to attain length...:scratchch)

The most negativity I've encountered came from our own...women in reference to themselves ("My hair is too nappy to do that!" ) and men, especially the ones in my family, in reference to me...*shrugs* I always attributed it to the area I'm from. When I left for college I got plenty of compliments from men on my hair when it was both texturized and natural.

I say let it roll off like water from a duck's back...there will always be someone displeased with something; I've learned to concern myself with making sure it's not 1) God or 2) me.

 

[Almaz]

No they are telling me to CUT my hair really short because black women look really nice with the TWA. I look like a complete idiot I need long hair my head is shaped to funny to be sporting a short fro.

Interestingly I get pretty favorable responses from white women...one lady stopped me in Wal-Mart and said, "I really love when black women wear their hair like that. It's so pretty...may I touch it?" (I said yes, lol. Now that I think about it though, I was rocking the TWA that day, so maybe it does have something to do with conforming to their expectations of our ability to attain length...:scratchch)

The most negativity I've encountered came from our own...women in reference to themselves ("My hair is too nappy to do that!" ) and men, especially the ones in my family, in reference to me...*shrugs* I always attributed it to the area I'm from. When I left for college I got plenty of compliments from men on my hair when it was both texturized and natural.

I say let it roll off like water from a duck's back...there will always be someone displeased with something; I've learned to concern myself with making sure it's not 1) God or 2) me.

 

[workingonme]

Woah, I am blessed!! My family was really cool with me going natural. I didn't transition, but I had talked about shaving my head for months before finally doing it. The Fam loved it!! There is the occasional funny comment (male cousin with beautiful MBL dreads insists I rock dreads as well, my brothers are jealous of my growth), but it is never a bad thing. Of course, they know they can say whatever and it won't change a thing. I'll walk around in a curly green fro with orange highlights and a purple bang, and I wouldn't care what anyone thinks about it!!