Random Thread for Married Women: Putting your man on the couch

[weaveadiva]

I always see this in movies and on TV but it doesn't seem realistic. A grown man, who's paying bills, willingly goes to sleep on the couch in his own house?

In my mind he would say, "Bump that, you're the one who's mad. You go sleep out there. I'm enjoying my bed."

Ladies, have you ever been upset with your husband and made him sleep on the couch?

 

[kandake]

I've had a married man tell me that he's been sent to the couch on a few occasions. But his wife was a tough one and he was "beta" in personality.

When I was married, right before we separated, I would wake up in the middle of the night and go to the couch cause I couldn't bare sleeping next to him. We had a comfy sectional so I didn't mind. I never thought to send him to the couch. Although I doubt he would've went just on principle and to spite me.

 

[vani]

I couldn't respect a man who'd make me sleep on the couch.

My s/o (we're not married and we don't live together) told me if I ever slept at his place and we had an ugly argument right before bedtime, he'd take the couch.

 

[NOEChic]

I always see this in movies and on TV but it doesn't seem realistic. A grown man, who's paying bills, willingly goes to sleep on the couch in his own house? In my mind he would say, "Bump that, you're the one who's mad. You go sleep out there. I'm enjoying my bed." Ladies, have you ever been upset with your husband and made him sleep on the couch?

my ex husband would be like you mad so what. I'm not sleeping on the couch. You can or you can sleep in the bed. My current boyfriend if I put him on the couch, he will go sleep on the couch. He don't like that back and forth. I won't put my current on the couch. If we are arguing I still want him to hold me lol

 

[Lymegreen]

I've been that mad before but I can't see this working in my marriage. I'm trying to imagine how this would play out...

I already know I can't 'make' him do ANYTHING so it would be on me to go to the couch. As soon as I do ALL THE LIGHTS would come on. He would either stand over me until I moved and then follow - or just try to squeeze his behind on the couch with me.

Then try to get some.

As angry as I've been I have to be honest and say that we don't argue over very serious things.

 

[LucieLoo12]

Naw, that ain't even going down in my house.

We don't even like going to bed mad at each other. If we mad we are going to be mad together. Lol. I just think that habit can open up some many doors, you wouldn't want. I don't even like withholding sex from my hubby even if I'm mad...

 

[barbiesocialite]

*subscribing*

I usually just roll over on my side and ignore him til he leaves in the morning. but ive left the room to sleep on the couch but have usually met by insistence I take the bed and he'll sleep on the couch or asked if I want him to leave (his house).

Most men seem to choose to sleep on the couch....


Idk if we're arguing the last thing I want to do is talk to you, I'd imagine insisting he leave or sleep on the couch would be more drama and more arguing. I'd rather just go sleep on he couch myself....

I hope more married women will chime in because I'd love to hear how they handle argument nights or tense awkward situations similar to this.

 

[FelaShrine]

Ive only seen that mess with white people. along with throwing husbands out the house over petty squabbles. LOL. right.

 

[Brwnbeauti]

We had a heated argument in May. In the middle of the night he got up and slept upstairs (guest room) I don't think Id asked him to sleep somewhere else unless I thought it was over. The next day he heard it for leaving our bed. Ninja you better roll over and get over it.

 

[SuchaLady]

I asked my honey about this. He was like I wish I might sleep on the sofa in a house I pay all the bills for

 

[Ganjababy]

I have tried it but it only works if I push the bed up to the door and sleep on the bed. Now that we have a king size bed I really cannot do alladat.


Now I just sleep on the edge and give him a good kick if I see or feel him edging over

 

[Miss617]

In the whole time I've been with my husband, I've never even thought to fix my mouth to tell him to sleep elsewhere, and he's never done it on his own. If we go to sleep mad, we'll usually wake up and talk it out.

 

[LaBelleLL]

*subscribing* I usually just roll over on my side and ignore him til he leaves in the morning. but ive left the room to sleep on the couch but have usually met by insistence I take the bed and he'll sleep on the couch or asked if I want him to leave (his house). Most men seem to choose to sleep on the couch.... Idk if we're arguing the last thing I want to do is talk to you, I'd imagine insisting he leave or sleep on the couch would be more drama and more arguing. I'd rather just go sleep on he couch myself.... I hope more married women will chime in because I'd love to hear how they handle argument nights or tense awkward situations similar to this.

He offered to leave his own house after an argument with you?

Does he have low self esteem?

 

[FoxxyLocs]

I would sleep in the guest room, not on the couch.

 

[sunnieb]

Let me get my thoughts together and come back with more (maybe)

Short answer, yes. He went twice, I went once. We both went on our own.

We go to bed mad ever so often. That's what happens when 2 stubborn people marry. Neither one wants to "give". We usually wake up and get over ourselves though.

 

[CaliiSwagg]

I would sleep in the guest room, not on the couch.

This is me. There have been a couple times where I'm so angry that I don't even want to be in his presence. I usually go read or lay down in our guest bedroom and just stay there until I've calmed or the next day. It doesn't happen often at all, but I have no problem sleeping somewhere else in order for me to calm down.

 

[ThickHair]

I told my ex to go. He made it one hour and came back and got in the bed, he thought I was sleep. I didnt say anything.

 

[FlowerHair]

My sister in law made my brother sleep out on the porch one night after coming home drunk.

She has some balls...and yes, he pays 99% of the bills!

 

[LiftedUp]

My sister in law made my brother sleep out on the porch one night after coming home drunk.

She has some balls...and yes, he pays 99% of the bills!

Who was drunk?

 

[PeaceFlow]

I always thought that happened if the man did something horribly wrong. Not if both were just arguing.

Like if a DH gambled away the families savings or something.

 

[FemmeCreole]

I always see this in movies and on TV but it doesn't seem realistic. A grown man, who's paying bills, willingly goes to sleep on the couch in his own house?

In my mind he would say, "Bump that, you're the one who's mad. You go sleep out there. I'm enjoying my bed."

Ladies, have you ever been upset with your husband and made him sleep on the couch?

Nope nope not even.

 

[nlamr2013]

Well you're not supposed to go to bed angry so that's out.the only times I'd request gubs go to the couch is if he's sick, or I'm in the last stages of pregnancy or something and I want to stretch out the entire bed lol

 

[PureSilver]

Well you're not supposed to go to bed angry so that's out.the only times I'd request gubs go to the couch is if he's sick, or I'm in the last stages of pregnancy or something and I want to stretch out the entire bed lol

sounds resasonable to me

 

[barbiesocialite]

He offered to leave his own house after an argument with you?

Does he have low self esteem?

@LaBelleLL

This wasnt my current relationship but it's happened with my ex of a long-distance relationship. We got into it so he said I (me) needed some space and time so he left.

He did the right thing.

There have been similar situations at times with SOs, friends and my parents.

I have a temper. Its pretty much controlled due to maturity and age but it still rears it's head occasionally. Not something I'm proud of but my meltdowns are EPIC. EPIC. When I rage--I RAGE. Coming through like a category 5 hurricane with a quake off the richter scale. If you're not in the situation I suggest you gdf out of the way or you will be collateral damage up in this mutha. NO ONE is leaving this house unscathed until this situation is resolved. I will hold everyone in the house hostage. If I'm that upset it's in everyone's best interest the other person leave because it's not worth it. I get over things pretty fast but anyone close to me would know that sometimes I just need my space and things will be good faster than otherwise.

As stated previously, I attract people like my parents. SO and friends. I think this is also explains why I used to be a serial monogamist and have long lasting friendships and familial bonds---my immediate upset is a lot less damaging than those who hold longterm grudges. For example. people used to ask why my mom voluntarily put me up in a posh apartment of my own and paid the rent for years---this is portion of it. When we would get into it, she'd leave. She's even left her house and left me her car. My dad is the same way. They don't like to argue. I don't like to argue. I get angry. I attract others that go silent. On the flipside, on the daily they are more vocal, I'm the more silent one,. But in conflict things have to be resolved or, again, somebody has to leave the room/vicinity.

The downside of this on my end is that I sorta have a fear of abandonment. It's part of my marriage apprehension. I dont worry about being taken care of but I do fear emotional abandonment. I want to be a SAHM and I am honestly a little frightened that I'll be in some big arse house with plenty of money but with a man that works 24/7. very avoidant of emotional matters and neither of us will ever file for divorce. I know thats the type I attract too. My current relationship situation is kinda like this, I wont call him avoidant because he's very communicative but he's very busy and preoccupied with being a workaholic and doesnt like drama. Oh well, take the good with the bad ya know. Life is what you make it, no one is perfect and everyone is different.

 

[barbiesocialite]

Let me get my thoughts together and come back with more (maybe)

Short answer, yes. He went twice, I went once. We both went on our own.

We go to bed mad ever so often. That's what happens when 2 stubborn people marry. Neither one wants to "give". We usually wake up and get over ourselves though.

sunnieb

I always enjoy your marriage posts. I think I relate to the type of relationship you share with your husband and how you choose to run your household. I often find many of your thoughts validating and informative.

 

[Southernbella.]

I always see this in movies and on TV but it doesn't seem realistic. A grown man, who's paying bills, willingly goes to sleep on the couch in his own house?

In my mind he would say, "Bump that, you're the one who's mad. You go sleep out there. I'm enjoying my bed."

Ladies, have you ever been upset with your husband and made him sleep on the couch?

I tried it.

Your thoughts are 100% correct.

 

[NOEChic]

@LaBelleLL This wasnt my current relationship but it's happened with my ex of a long-distance relationship. We got into it so he said I (me) needed some space and time so he left. He did the right thing. There have been similar situations at times with SOs, friends and my parents. I have a temper. Its pretty much controlled due to maturity and age but it still rears it's head occasionally. Not something I'm proud of but my meltdowns are EPIC. EPIC. When I rage--I RAGE. Coming through like a category 5 hurricane with a quake off the richter scale. If you're not in the situation I suggest you gdf out of the way or you will be collateral damage up in this mutha. NO ONE is leaving this house unscathed until this situation is resolved. I will hold everyone in the house hostage. If I'm that upset it's in everyone's best interest the other person leave because it's not worth it. I get over things pretty fast but anyone close to me would know that sometimes I just need my space and things will be good faster than otherwise. As stated previously, I attract people like my parents. SO and friends. I think this is also explains why I used to be a serial monogamist and have long lasting friendships and familial bonds---my immediate upset is a lot less damaging than those who hold longterm grudges. For example. people used to ask why my mom voluntarily put me up in a posh apartment of my own and paid the rent for years---this is portion of it. When we would get into it, she'd leave. She's even left her house and left me her car. My dad is the same way. They don't like to argue. I don't like to argue. I get angry. I attract others that go silent. On the flipside, on the daily they are more vocal, I'm the more silent one,. But in conflict things have to be resolved or, again, somebody has to leave the room/vicinity. The downside of this on my end is that I sorta have a fear of abandonment. It's part of my marriage apprehension. I dont worry about being taken care of but I do fear emotional abandonment. I want to be a SAHM and I am honestly a little frightened that I'll be in some big arse house with plenty of money but with a man that works 24/7. very avoidant of emotional matters and neither of us will ever file for divorce. I know thats the type I attract too. My current relationship situation is kinda like this, I wont call him avoidant because he's very communicative but he's very busy and preoccupied with being a workaholic and doesnt like drama. Oh well, take the good with the bad ya know. Life is what you make it, no one is perfect and everyone is different.

girl you and I would have a come to Jesus meeting and quick. I wouldn't be leaving **** that I pay for. Out of town guest or not, you would have to roll up outta my house the second you act up.

 

[barbiesocialite]

girl you and I would have a come to Jesus meeting and quick. I wouldn't be leaving **** that I pay for. Out of town guest or not, you would have to roll up outta my house the second you act up.

LOL

I'm somewhat similar, however, I've never attracted anyone remotely close to myself. I attract very non-confrontational people. Very low-conflict, passive-aggressive and more like to be laid & back and nasty-nice than aggressive and/or argumentative. Like, even in my family there aren't screaming matches or super intense debates. Arguments are few and far between. There's me screaming like a raving lunatic lol lol or a conversation that ends in a very fake nasty-nice truce. SO and my friends have all been like that for the most part. Even my friends SOs are kinda non-confrontational too.

 

[moore.1506]

Hey im pretty much a newly wed but there is no way I could kick my husband out of bed unless he did some serious stuff.

I go to bed mad all the time cause 99% of the time when I wake up I realize the argument was dumb or I am less emotional and have a better grasp on how to discuss the issue without low blows and overly emotional arguments.

 

[Nyssa28]

Why I never! But I will scoot to the very edge of the bed and risk falling so that he knows that I don't want him to touch me. Lol very petty!