One more question before I say anything, you mentioned that he is generous in terms of your needs, can you give an example?He gets annoyed & says I don't believe in him leading us. Says he's been asking for months & feels I should see the big picture & that I can see he needs my support [now] and that I'm refusing to trust him.
What is his response when you tell him that you are not his wife and can't just be at his place of business all the time?
This.Op, this is a red flag to me. I would not put my business on hold to help grow his. Especially since the only thing you have to go on that your efforts will someday benefit you is him saying “trust me”.
It sounds to me that maybe he is still not sure if he wants to marry you, and this is some way for you to prove your worth to him. If you’ll drop everything, fix his business, and make him some money THEN, he’ll know you’re the one. That’s doing too much.
And this.I can't speak to your dudes intentions but your proposed setup sounds like my setup before we got married. The old man was paying me a consultants fee for work I was doing for him and was paying a lot of my living expenses (and my mothers) but he had proposed already and he's always understood that my love language is bribery. I also wasn't deferring anything to do work for him so I didn't feel taken advantage of or like I was losing out on anything.
I don't like that he talks about marriage but hasn't offered it. That does make this feel like some kind of test.
All of that said, surprisingly, If it were me, I would do it and give him a timeline of 3 months part time at your discretion of time you show up. It's a show of faith, you're being paid and you don't leave your sister completely hanging. The selling point is that if whoever it is he wants you to watch doesn't know when you're coming then you'll get to see more things that can be hidden from someone on a regular schedule.
You never give a man everything he's asking for but you can throw him a bone.
He says, "have I not proven to you that I'm serious".
I'm scared tbh...
Not scared of him, but of the unknown.
Thanks. That's a another point of view. I was really hoping to also hear from someone who's been in a similar situation.
I really feel like if the pink applied to me, I'd be more on board.
That last sentence is GOLDEN.
He said he feels I don't buy into his dream.