Prenuptial Agreements: Yay or Nay for Christian Marriages

[kbragg]

You said what I was thinking! The preacher who "had a feeling" not to go was listening to the Holy Spirit's unctioning. If the Holy Spirit is telling you "no" then a Prenup won't help. You either trust God or you dont. Plain and simple. Job lost everything he had and God not only restored him, but prospered Him. Why? Because he had faith that God would preserve him in the good times AND in the bad. Signing a prenup is like saying "Well God, it's a lot different nowadays, let me do this my way...I trust you, yes this man is from you, yes your ways or perfect...but here, let me help you out."

It's the whole post modern mentality. The world entering the church. And lawyers? Jesus wasn't fond of them back then and God is the same yesterday, today and forever!
http://www.biblegateway.com/quicksearch/?quicksearch=lawyers&qs_version=9

I'm joking....kinda[/quote]




kinda wasn’t

The "kinda" was part of the comedic timing hence the face Some of my best friends are black...umm I mean lawyersSeriously, without a lawyer my husband would've not been able to complete the step parent adoption, so not ALL lawyers are bad...just 99.99999999999999997% of 'em

 

[kbragg]

So I take that to mean that married couples shouldn't use birth control either. After all, God said to be fruitul and multiply. Birth control is a "just in case", right? Otherwise, we would just trust God not to allow us to get pregnant if it's not time, right?

We stopped using Birth Control becase of the risks to my health and also because there's still a small chance of pregnancy in which the birth control would abort the baby. If God wants to plant a seed in me and bless me with a child I'm not going to attempt to prevent it as God Himself says that being a mother is the HIGHEST calling. That's another topic though

As far as house, rent, car, health insurance goes, those are physical possesions NOT a covenant relationship. I'm not against a woman having her own money or savings. To me that's more of a stewartship issue. But if you need a prenup because you're afraid your future husband may try to stake a claim on your stuff if things go bad, maybe you should pray about marrying Him. Remember, God adds no sorrow to his blessings.

I guess my thinking is, this man is whom God chose for me and He honors His Word. God has yet to fail me. I know I'll be taken care of. If there's doubt, then IMO there should be no marriage. Faith eaves no room for doubt. Being responsible yes, doubt no.

Not trying to act like I'm all perfect or have attained or anything, just saying. In the end our opinions matter little. It's what the Word of God says. We are the Bride of Christ and if ANYBODY needed a prenup it was Him. Obviously He didn't get one so niether should we.

It's not an issue of reasoning or wrestling the scripture, it's about His Word, which is all that matters in the end.

 

[Southernbella.]

It's not an issue of reasoning or wrestling the scripture, it's about His Word, which is all that matters in the end.

I agree. But we make our own value judgements every day, and not all of those line up perfectly with the Word.

The divorce rate is what 50%? And even higher than that in the church, I think. We can and should have faith, but I don't begrudge people who look at the reality and use wisdom.

 

[honeycomb719]

I agree. If you put God first in your marriage and seek him in your decision to marry your mate then signing a prenupt is like say "I trust that this is the one you sent me Lord BUT"... If you truly TRUST the Lord in this life long commitment that you are making then there should be no doubt. Asking for a prenupt would be an insult to my mate and it would definitely be an insult to me if I was asked about one. I also believe that a prenupt is just another way that you are speaking divorce into existence your situation(marriage) without even realizing it. Just my opinion.

EXCELLENT POST!!! The bolded part I really agree with you here.

 

[Shimmie]

Since when is marriage a 'Business Proposition"? Where is the 'honor'? The trust? The love?

Obviously, one is marrying for all of the wrong reasons. And while yes, we all DO have 'free will', why would I ever expect the 'free will' to be a negative choice to end our marriage? Whatever happen to 'free will' to make it work until death us do part or into the Rapture, which ever comes first?

I'm totally against it. If God be God...trust Him...especially in and about marriage. A pre-nup is nothing less than a written and signed covenant of expectation of the marriage to fail. It's a spirit of fear, doubt and unbelief, that's clouding the faith of any couple who would choose such an option. It is the minset and the spirit of the world and the devil who rules it; not God's will or His design.

They are literally standing before God and the minister and witnesses, saying, 'I Do Not Trust This Person That I Am Marrying and I Have Legally Drawn Up and have Signed a Contractual Agreement that guarantees it." The are lying before God when they vow, 'until death do us part.'

The world is sick. Just plain sick. Marriage isn't about "I doubt you". It is about, I trust you; come what may, I trust you. Even more, I trust God.

The devil is a liar. If he's convinced someone that the person that they are marrying is untrustworthy, then the marriage should not take place.

If pre-nup is the case....you may as well call it a 'Shack Up'. That's a guaranteed split up.

 

[Divine Inspiration]

Since when is marriage a 'Business Proposition"? Where is the 'honor'? The trust? The love?

Obviously, one is marrying for all of the wrong reasons. And while yes, we all DO have 'free will', why would I ever expect the 'free will' to be a negative choice to end our marriage? Whatever happen to 'free will' to make it work until death us do part or into the Rapture, which ever comes first?

I'm totally against it. If God be God...trust Him...especially in and about marriage. A pre-nup is nothing less than a written and signed covenant of expectation of the marriage to fail. It's a spirit of fear, doubt and unbelief, that's clouding the faith of any couple who would choose such an option. It is the minset and the spirit of the world and the devil who rules it; not God's will or His design.

They are literally standing before God and the minister and witnesses, saying, 'I Do Not Trust This Person That I Am Marrying and I Have Legally Drawn Up and have Signed a Contractual Agreement that guarantees it." The are lying before God when they vow, 'until death do us part.'

The world is sick. Just plain sick. Marriage isn't about "I doubt you". It is about, I trust you; come what may, I trust you. Even more, I trust God.

The devil is a liar. If he's convinced someone that the person that they are marrying is untrustworthy, then the marriage should not take place.

It pre-nup is the case....you may as well call it a 'Shack Up'. That's a guaranteed split up.

I was just thinking the bolded part earlier today.

 

[Ayeshia]

so If one got screwed over in a first marriage hypothetically would you consider a pre nup for a 2nd marriage? that is if you were considering getting married the second time. I would say yes if I had a lot of family assets and wealth...and he did not. My aunt was recently divorced and she has to pay my uncle 50 grand a year in spousal support for the next 3 years and give 10% of her income from her catering business to him...he made a pretty good income but compared to her he didnt have cake. The situation was ugly but from their situation I learned. I look at it as insurance policy you hope not to use it but just in case....its there.

 

[live2bgr8]

I think a lot of you made wonderful points about this topic... I agree with the "no pre-nup line of thinking" for all of the reasons that have been mentioned...

But I want to add one thing: As a believer in Christ, I also believe that God owns every earthly posession that we have. Sometimes I struggle with this line of thinking, but it doesn't change it's validity... God owns it all. He just chooses who will steward what. In my mind, a pre-nup is saying to God... "I own it." It also says, "I don't trust that You will provide me with all the things I need to carry out your will for my life"...

Hard times come for both the believer and the non-believer... How we handle times of adversity is the difference between faith and unbelief...

 

[alexstin]

I think a lot of you made wonderful points about this topic... I agree with the "no pre-nup line of thinking" for all of the reasons that have been mentioned...

But I want to add one thing: As a believer in Christ, I also believe that God owns every earthly posession that we have. Sometimes I struggle with this line of thinking, but it doesn't change it's validity... God owns it all. He just chooses who will steward what. In my mind, a pre-nup is saying to God... "I own it." It also says, "I don't trust that You will provide me with all the things I need to carry out your will for my life"...

Exactly!!! We don't own any of it. God allows us to be stewards over possessions. To bring a prenup into a marriage as if you own anything is shortsighted. I believe a lot of believers have completely missed this point.

 

[Shimmie]

Exactly!!! We don't own any of it. God allows us to be stewards over possessions. To bring a prenup into a marriage as if you own anything is shortsighted. I believe a lot of believers have completely missed this point.

Pastor Alexstin and Kelouis, I agree with you totally!!! The word of God plainly says, that "He owns the cattle on a thousand hills." And then some. "The earth is the Lords' and the 'fullness' thereof and they and all that dwell therein; for He established it upon the floods...and upon the seas..." (Psalm 24). Although I paraphased the scripture, there's SOMETHING in this.

If God could establish the earth (key word: establish) upon the waters and the floods....DEAR GOD, can He not and has He not already established a solid ground for marriages to thrive upon. Did He not establish marriage...let alone the love that endures forever?

I flatly refuse to hand over to the devil what God has so ordained. In this life and in marriage God says He has ordained peace for us. His word clearly offers no apologies for marriage for it is His solid foundation for order; marriage is such to Him that He has even proclaimed that He is married to us...His Church.

My point is this. I totally and absolutely refuse to go into marriage with an attitude of defeat. I'm not marrying the devil, neither am I entering into a demonic covenant. Our Marriage Covenant is with God, the Creator and the Keeper of all that He has established.

And in Our Marriage, He is the Sheppard and the Bishop of our souls -- God keeps us in order.

When we have an issue to settle or when we disagree, God is our wonderful Counselor; our Prince of Peace - He keeps peace in our marriage and in our heats for one another.

To keep our marriage alive and well, He is Our Prince of Life.

In Our Marriage Bed, God is the Loving Bridegroom, and the Resurrection and the Life...He keeps our love-making alive and full and enriched.

For the solid foundation of Our Marriage, God is our Chief Cornerstone.

When oppositon and challenges arise, He is our Protector

When we stand accused, He is Our Righteous Judge

And when we have need of mercy, He is Our Advocate...

With allof this, who needs a pre-nup. God is the Creator and Keeper of our Marriages...not the world, but He sits in Heaven loving us as His very own, keeping us One forever.

Whom God has joined together...Let no man put asunder. ​

In God, pre-nups are disbanned, eternally.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Now that I have children, I see things differently. I know God put my marriage together, and I know He makes no mistakes. But people do. If my husband ever went nuts and acted a fool and I needed to get myself and my kids out of the situation, how would I do that? I trust God with everything in me, but I also trust the wisdom He's given me.

I'm very pro- pre-nup. I don't like surprises. A prenup forces both parties to disclose both assets AND negative credit issues that may affect the spouse. Also, if your husband has a job that has financial liabilities, i.e., notary, bondsman, guarantor, sole proprietor or parnter/LLC where his assets can be seized a pre-nup can protect yours from going right along with his.

I know that discussing pre-nups conjure visions of some old rich lecher marrying his fifth gold digging wife that he plans to dispose of once her expiration date has passed, but that is not the norm as what the document is meant to protect. A prenup is an insurance policy both during a marriage and god forbid if a divorce takes place. If financial disaster hits one spouse, then at least you have the assets of the other to fall back on.

That's just my view.

 

[Divine Inspiration]

A prenup forces both parties to disclose both assets AND negative credit issues that may affect the spouse.

I think this should be happening anyway. I think some people who are pro-prenup (not you, JC, I'm speaking in general) assume that those who are not are merrily going along with some mate without understanding all the implications. I'm a FIRM believer in pre-marital counseling & financial counseling before a marriage. In this instance, everybody has to come clean with everything so there are no secrets regarding assets, debts, etc.

I understand where you (JC), Lauren, and others are coming from, but like someone else mentioned, I think the difference in the way this is handled is the difference between a believer and an unbeliever. Faith permeates all areas of the life of a believer so that changes the way we handle our affairs. In the world, I can TOTALLY see why an "insurance policy" would be fitting for a marriage because people are CRAZY these days. However, we (believers) are to be in the world, not of the world, and so our lifestyles are to be exemplary of Godly living. Whether or not that includes a prenupt is clearly subjective, but I think the significance of faith colors the perspective.

 

[honeycomb719]

Pastor Alexstin and Kelouis, I agree with you totally!!! The word of God plainly says, that "He owns the cattle on a thousand hills." And then some. "The earth is the Lords' and the 'fullness' thereof and they and all that dwell therein; for He established it upon the floods...and upon the seas..." (Psalm 24). Although I paraphased the scripture, there's SOMETHING in this.

If God could establish the earth (key word: establish) upon the waters and the floods....DEAR GOD, can He not and has He not already established a solid ground for marriages to thrive upon. Did He not establish marriage...let alone the love that endures forever?

I flatly refuse to hand over to the devil what God has so ordained. In this life and in marriage God says He has ordained peace for us. His word clearly offers no apologies for marriage for it is His solid foundation for order; marriage is such to Him that He has even proclaimed that He is married to us...His Church.

My point is this. I totally and absolutely refuse to go into marriage with an attitude of defeat. I'm not marrying the devil, neither am I entering into a demonic covenant. Our Marriage Covenant is with God, the Creator and the Keeper of all that He has established.

And in Our Marriage, He is the Sheppard and the Bishop of our souls -- God keeps us in order.

When we have an issue to settle or when we disagree, God is our wonderful Counselor; our Prince of Peace - He keeps peace in our marriage and in our heats for one another.

To keep our marriage alive and well, He is Our Prince of Life.

In Our Marriage Bed, God is the Loving Bridegroom, and the Resurrection and the Life...He keeps our love-making alive and full and enriched.

For the solid foundation of Our Marriage, God is our Chief Cornerstone.

When oppositon and challenges arise, He is our Protector

When we stand accused, He is Our Righteous Judge

And when we have need of mercy, He is Our Advocate...

With allof this, who needs a pre-nup. God is the Creator and Keeper of our Marriages...not the world, but He sits in Heaven loving us as His very own, keeping us One forever.

Whom God has joined together...Let no man put asunder. ​

In God, pre-nups are disbanned, eternally.

(In my BEST church deacon voice) WELL!!

 

[secretdiamond]

just wanted to say that this a great discussion on both sides.

 

[Shimmie]

I think this should be happening anyway. I think some people who are pro-prenup (not you, JC, I'm speaking in general) assume that those who are not are merrily going along with some mate without understanding all the implications. I'm a FIRM believer in pre-marital counseling & financial counseling before a marriage. In this instance, everybody has to come clean with everything so there are no secrets regarding assets, debts, etc.

I understand where you (JC), Lauren, and others are coming from, but like someone else mentioned, I think the difference in the way this is handled is the difference between a believer and an unbeliever. Faith permeates all areas of the life of a believer so that changes the way we handle our affairs. In the world, I can TOTALLY see why an "insurance policy" would be fitting for a marriage because people are CRAZY these days. However, we (believers) are to be in the world, not of the world, and so our lifestyles are to be exemplary of Godly living. Whether or not that includes a prenupt is clearly subjective, but I think the significance of faith colors the perspective.

This is beautifully shared; for you've covered both sides in wonderful fairness. I totally understand the 'world's' view and I don't blame them; but it's sad when the Church yields and joins the world's thinking and 'fear' patterns. They (the world and many Christians) don't have the experience of 'knowing' God and all that He is. Our actions and decisions in life prove what we believe. And while I don't know ALL that He is, I know more than enough to realize that the world's way has proven nothing to me over His and it never will.

I 'know' what's out there. I know the fools; I was married to a fool -- indeed I was -- and what I had, he didn't get. As for other fools, I see the mess they create and do everyday. I'm praying for issues that are almost 'unheard of' that people are experiencing. But in all of this...God overrides every issue, circumstance and excuse not to trust Him. Pre-nup says, "Okay, I believe, but I still don't trust."

For me personally, I cannot insult my husband and most of all God, to go to the extent of legalizing that I have a lack of faith in either of them.

 

[Supergirl]

We stopped using Birth Control becase of the risks to my health and also because there's still a small chance of pregnancy in which the birth control would abort the baby. If God wants to plant a seed in me and bless me with a child I'm not going to attempt to prevent it as God Himself says that being a mother is the HIGHEST calling. That's another topic though

As far as house, rent, car, health insurance goes, those are physical possesions NOT a covenant relationship. I'm not against a woman having her own money or savings. To me that's more of a stewartship issue. But if you need a prenup because you're afraid your future husband may try to stake a claim on your stuff if things go bad, maybe you should pray about marrying Him. Remember, God adds no sorrow to his blessings.

I guess my thinking is, this man is whom God chose for me and He honors His Word. God has yet to fail me. I know I'll be taken care of. If there's doubt, then IMO there should be no marriage. Faith eaves no room for doubt. Being responsible yes, doubt no.

Not trying to act like I'm all perfect or have attained or anything, just saying. In the end our opinions matter little. It's what the Word of God says. We are the Bride of Christ and if ANYBODY needed a prenup it was Him. Obviously He didn't get one so niether should we.

It's not an issue of reasoning or wrestling the scripture, it's about His Word, which is all that matters in the end.

There ya go! Ding ding ding--you said the KEY word: Covenant! A prenup turns it into a contract.

 

[Shimmie]

(In my BEST church deacon voice) WELL!!

 

[live2bgr8]

Pastor Alexstin and Kelouis, I agree with you totally!!! The word of God plainly says, that "He owns the cattle on a thousand hills." And then some. "The earth is the Lords' and the 'fullness' thereof and they and all that dwell therein; for He established it upon the floods...and upon the seas..." (Psalm 24). Although I paraphased the scripture, there's SOMETHING in this.

If God could establish the earth (key word: establish) upon the waters and the floods....DEAR GOD, can He not and has He not already established a solid ground for marriages to thrive upon. Did He not establish marriage...let alone the love that endures forever?

I flatly refuse to hand over to the devil what God has so ordained. In this life and in marriage God says He has ordained peace for us. His word clearly offers no apologies for marriage for it is His solid foundation for order; marriage is such to Him that He has even proclaimed that He is married to us...His Church.

My point is this. I totally and absolutely refuse to go into marriage with an attitude of defeat. I'm not marrying the devil, neither am I entering into a demonic covenant. Our Marriage Covenant is with God, the Creator and the Keeper of all that He has established.

And in Our Marriage, He is the Sheppard and the Bishop of our souls -- God keeps us in order.

When we have an issue to settle or when we disagree, God is our wonderful Counselor; our Prince of Peace - He keeps peace in our marriage and in our heats for one another.

To keep our marriage alive and well, He is Our Prince of Life.

In Our Marriage Bed, God is the Loving Bridegroom, and the Resurrection and the Life...He keeps our love-making alive and full and enriched.

For the solid foundation of Our Marriage, God is our Chief Cornerstone.

When oppositon and challenges arise, He is our Protector

When we stand accused, He is Our Righteous Judge

And when we have need of mercy, He is Our Advocate...

With all of this, who needs a pre-nup. God is the Creator and Keeper of our Marriages...not the world, but He sits in Heaven loving us as His very own, keeping us One forever.

Whom God has joined together...Let no man put asunder. ​

In God, pre-nups are disbanned, eternally.

Amen, Shimmie!

 

[Shimmie]

Amen, Shimmie!

Hey Darlin'...Hugs to you and your handsome men.

As for my post... We get what we 'pray' for...

 

[kbragg]

(In my BEST church deacon voice) WELL!!

(In my best Church Mother voice)YEEESSSAAAH! Um hmm, that's right! Go'on tell it!Yep, that's it right there! That's the Word! Tell da troof!

Did you grow up Baptist too? Or AME? I grew up both (my Grandma played the piano)

 

[PaperClip]

FYI, Ladies: I didn't just drop a heavy topic and hit the road. I've been processing your responses in my head and heart. Compelling responses from both sides of the conversation.

 

[cocoberry10]

Okay, I have read through the responses, and decided to address both perspectives on the topic (since I feel that I can see both sides). At first, I wasn't going to respond, but after consulting the Lord, I felt that shedding some light on this topic would give a different perspective.

As a Christian woman and a lawyer to be (I'm studying for the bar now),here's my take on the subject. And no, these don't make me a walking oxymoron.

Overall, I don't personally like prenups. However, I'm not completely against them, and I will consult the Lord if and when the time comes for me. I'm still in my 20's now. I do believe that they can have a purpose, and yes, I don't think that in all circumstances they are unGodly or unbelieving. Like doctors and lawyers, they do have their place in this world. They can be like a will, which I don't think most Christians believe is unGodly.

I believe that before deciding whether to get a prenup, the first place you must always go is to the Lord (He is the highest counselor, higher than any lawyer, psychiatrist, minister, etc.).

I believe Proverbs is the greatest book in the bible to discuss the importance of discernment and preparation, and I also personally find that book to be a key to how we as Christians should be wise stewards in the financial area, and in some instances, I do believe this can include prenuptial agreements.

Prenuptial agreements aren't always Black and White. They don't have to always be a "what's mine is mine, and what's yours is yours situation." It can be partial, like the example I will give below, so that any assets you attain in the marriage would be fair game for either spouse if, God forbid, you do divorce.

Here's an example: If you were marrying someone, and you had a family business, or a family home (i.e. property, a summer home, etc.), those can be instances where a prenuptial agreement can be an important way to protect not just your personal interest, but the interest of your blood relatives and children. Let's say your parents left you a summer home when they died, and later you divorce your spouse. Technically, w/o a prenup, your spouse can try to lay claim to this, even if it's a "family" home (or at least your interest in the house). The same is true for family businesses. I'm exaggerating, but there are instances like this.

However, prenups can be a disaster too, and I think this is what many of you are referring to. Look at the many people who entered a marriage in their 20's with little or no assets, and one spouse gets extremely wealthy, and when they divorce, the prenup says "go our separate ways" and one spouse ends up with little or nothing and the other ends up with a lot. However, family courts CAN in some instances re-interpret even prenuptial agreements, b/c they know that people are doing this, and UNLIKE COVENANTS,CONTRACTS CAN BE VOIDED IF THEY ARE TOO UNFAIR (they aren't always etched in stone)!

I think this matters, b/c it's important to know this. Of course as Christians we MUST ALWAYS TRUST GOD. However, God has blessed us with various means to protect ourselves from harm, things He has placed on this earth, and I'm not even specifically saying that's a prenuptial agreement, but He has given us "tangible" resources to work with.

God will always protect us as someone said, and I have seen situations where people were left with nothing, and yes, God can rebuild us in our valley times (Tyler Perry's "Why Did I Get Married?" addressed this topic in a comical way). However, I also believe that God does want us to be intelligent. I believe that God works through us, and gives us these resources. In some instances, that will mean not marrying a person. In others it may mean taking other precautionary steps. It may not even be your spouse, it could be others you have to be guarded against (like relatives. sad but true).

I have to use this as an analogy (and it's gonna be a sensitive one).

There are unfortunately a lot of women (Christian and non-Christian) who find themselves infected with diseases like AIDS or other incurable STD's from husbands they believed were faithful, good men. They really believed that they were safe, and in some instances (I know not in all ), the women had no idea, or very little. God has blessed us with various ways to know how the disease is spread and how to protect ourselves, and stay safe, and that can (and has) protected some women. God does want us to be safe and protected from the ills of this world. Unfortunately, we live in a fallen world, and the consequences of that will manifest in our lives at times. I do believe God always wants us to do all things with our eyes wide open, so first, second, and always, consult, consult, consult your Heavenly Father!

Sorry this post is soooooooooo long, but I just had to give light to both sides, b/c I see them both so well, and I felt that I could minister on this topic!

Last little note: There are other ways to protect assets besides prenups. It's just one channel!

 

[HoneyDew]

I say YAY!

I come to the table with assets, as well as he does. I have worked too hard for my home and my money and he has, too.

Too many people break up and have to deal with the financial things. Prenups take the guess work out of things.

I do think I would like the option of being able to change the agreement as we see fit - say once we have kids or maybe have more/less kids than we expected, or if finances change for one or both of us.

 

[Shimmie]

Okay, I have read through the responses, and decided to address both perspectives on the topic (since I feel that I can see both sides). At first, I wasn't going to respond, but after consulting the Lord, I felt that shedding some light on this topic would give a different perspective.

As a Christian woman and a lawyer to be (I'm studying for the bar now),here's my take on the subject. And no, these don't make me a walking oxymoron.

Overall, I don't personally like prenups. However, I'm not completely against them, and I will consult the Lord if and when the time comes for me.

Last little note: There are other ways to protect assets besides prenups. It's just one channel!

You're going to make an excellent attorney, "Coco". You'll be the one to set the standard of standards.... You'll bring honor where dishonor has reigned far too long.

And sweet little sister, "Coco", please don't think that for one moment that I don't hear what you and the others have shared. I do hear you loud and clear. I truly do.

It saddens me that Marriage has arrived to the point of "...in the event of divorce." It's just plain sad. And sadder still that it's being accepted with open arms, instead of having a 'fixed' faith, that not all have to fail... and surely not mine; for it is not my marriage, but the Lord's.

While some may call it 'wisdom' and facing reality, the true reality is this...'we've given up on Marriage before entering into it, and on one another. We've rendered the 'baby' still born...and others have already set up the appointment for an abortion...D&C - a surrendered dialation of the marriage womb and the cutting of an embryo not yet lived.

Hence, the world's mindset...hence the world's solution. And of course, God allows it out of His rich mercy for He knows that we have weakened and surrendered to the world and satan's plan to kill, steal and to destroy...another of His gifts to us, the beauty and the sanctity of "Marriage" which God ordained and created.

Indeed one does have to pray and not for guidance of a mate selection... but a prayer of forgiveness for losing faith.

The devil is a liar "Christians". Stand up to him ... not with him. All of this power that we have been given against the enemy and yet we falter and die. Dare him to set foot into your homes and lives. Dare him to touch what God has so freely given to you. Keep him in his place which is under your feet. God never lied...when He said none which are His will be plucked out of His hands.

Surrender your marriage placed into God's hands for Him to keep, as the apple of His eye. He never lied and He never will. God will sustain and protect a marriage before He would allow the devil to have victory in tearing it apart.

Why give up? Why give up on something so worth fighting for and especially when we've already been given the weapons to not only fight, but win. Why give up? Why give up the way satan has always tried to make us as Blacks do for everything we've held dear...family, marriage, education, careers, and just plain respect and due justice? Each step we've taken foreward, the devil has always tried to back us down, rendering 'us' to think, we may as well give up.

Well, not here...As for me and my House, we will serve the Lord...If God be God...serve Him...if baal be god, serve him.

Upon this Rock, I will build my house and not on sinking sand... In Jesus' name...Amen.

 

[live2bgr8]

Hey Darlin'...Hugs to you and your handsome men.

As for my post... We get what we 'pray' for...

I hear you! Thanks about the handsome men. Hugs to you and your beautiful family as well!

 

[firecracker]

I do not believe that taking measures to protect yourself from future harm is any offense to God. No more than getting immunizations, insurance, etc. God is there, here, everywhere, yes, but He also placed means/methods on earth for us to protect ourselves as well.

Your right on point. Allz I gotta say is keep living. I doubt if any 40plus self sufficient woman would readly go into a marriage today without considering the future ramifications of not protectings oneself.
It simply has nothing to do with faith in God.
It's about securing ones future with or without a spouse. Insurance is around for a reason. I doubt that God wants us uninsured period point blank! I am not bright eyes and bushy tailed by far.

 

[Xavier]

It simply has nothing to do with faith in God.

I beg to differ. As a Christian women MOST if NOT EVERYTHING in my life, has to do with my faith in God.

 

[BlkManWithSomeSense]

I don't believe in pre nups. I believe in absolute trust in marriage AND I would like to think that I would choose someone with some good sense even if things didn't go well. I don't knock anyone for their use of pre nups but it's not for me. I will not let the times we live in dilute my full and unequivocal endorsement of marriage. I own a business and I would lose a great deal of money if I married and divorced but rather than focus on the possibility of failure, I would rather redirect my focus on insuring that I am marrying the 'right' person, for the right reasons and it's the right thing to do.

Marriage and life come with no guarantees. How is a pre nup God's 'gift' to us?.. because it exists? Arsenic exists too. Do we believe in God with one foot in the door? Why are the only things we have unwavering faith tend to be the things we have direct control? Marriage requires us to have as much faith in our significant others as we do in ourselves. If you can't do that with them then it may be time to reevaluate. You can share your deepest vulnerabilities, body and soul with your spouse and even entrust your life with them but uh oh... but when it comes to the assets thats a big no no? I'm sorry but I cannot subscribe to that notion. I'm not so attached to material wealth to let it interrupt my bond and spirituality.

How would I look standing before God on my judgement day and trying to explain that the pre nup was ' just business' yet I took the marital vows in his holy name.

 

[Sweet C]

I don't believe in pre nups. I believe in absolute trust in marriage AND I would like to think that I would choose someone with some good sense even if things didn't go well. I don't knock anyone for their use of pre nups but it's not for me. I will not let the times we live in dilute my full and unequivocal endorsement of marriage. I own a business and I would lose a great deal of money if I married and divorced but rather than focus on the possibility of failure, I would rather redirect my focus on insuring that I am marrying the 'right' person, for the right reasons and it's the right thing to do.

Marriage and life come with no guarantees. How is a pre nup God's 'gift' to us?.. because it exists? Arsenic exists too. Do we believe in God with one foot in the door? Why are the only things we have unwavering faith tend to be the things we have direct control? Marriage requires us to have as much faith in our significant others as we do in ourselves. If you can't do that with them then it may be time to reevaluate. You can share your deepest vulnerabilities, body and soul with your spouse and even entrust your life with them but uh oh... but when it comes to the assets thats a big no no? I'm sorry but I cannot subscribe to that notion. I'm not so attached to material wealth to let it interrupt my bond and spirituality.

How would I look standing before God on my judgement day and trying to explain that the pre nup was ' just business' yet I took the marital vows in his holy name.

Amen brother!!!

 

[dimpalz]

Posters are saying God would not send you a mate who is less than perfect but you're forgetting the most important thing. We all have free will and everyone is capable of succumbing to temptations. Unless you're taking the stance that you would NEVER divorce your spouse even if he (she) broke all of your wedding vows then it is possible that you could one day divorce that person.

Even God can only see so far, he doesn't know when someone is likely to choose a different path, he can only send to you what is perfect at the time. Sure YOU may never stray from your husband and YOU may have unwavering faith in God but you can't say that for your spouse, you can't say that for any other person. So now you put all your faith in this person, because although your union is under God you are bound to them, you didn't suggest a prenup, your spouse has been lead astray and now wants a divorce and you have nothing. Your faith may bring you up again but it wont be an easy ride.

This doesnt even take into account any family possessions of value because it's not just you who is losing out. I don't truly know where I stand on this. If I have serious assets by the time I'm ready to marry I'll more than likely consider it. I will have been looking after me long before my husband comes along and I wont be stopping just because he's arrived.