Girl, I learned the hard way. A man who wants to buy you a phone to use for just him is more often than not possessive and controlling. Once he has you locked down with that phone, it's like he's put a GPS tracker on you or something. It is a way for him to control and locate you any time he wishes. The idea of a phone just for us sounded romantic, and can be romantic with the right guy, but with my guy--I should have never taken that phone he gave me. He damn near destroyed my sanity with it.Wow, he elude to buying me a new phone that way I wouldn't miss his phone calls and why don't I carry my phone in my pocket like him...I said I don't have pockets....he said oh ok, I'm going to "buy you pockets"
erplexed
Possessive Men...
- Thread starter cocoberry10
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Energist
New Member
Wow...ok I think I dodged a bullet
he wanted to see me days in a row.....like if we are out Sat....he is like, what are you doing tomorrowmy inside was like .....oh boy...
Well I'm glad that you got out early before it got to deep or too late. I had to exit my relationship with a getaway plan and a restraining order
Gryphyn
Active Member
I think the very first sign of a possessive guy is when he doesn't want you spending as much time with your friends, and sometimes even your family. He might also bad-mouth your friends and tell you they're not even good friends anyway.
I was with a possessive guy a few years ago for 9 months. He was a nut job, and he made my life hell when I was ending our relationship - so much so that I moved into my aunts house for almost a month so he wouldn't know where I was. The number 1 sign I look out for now is how well he gets along with my friends, and how he feels about me spending time with them.
No matter what happens between her and that guy, you need to be there to tell her what's what, and to catch her if she falls. It's so easy to get caught up in a bad relationship and ignore things that you know are wrong.
I was with a possessive guy a few years ago for 9 months. He was a nut job, and he made my life hell when I was ending our relationship - so much so that I moved into my aunts house for almost a month so he wouldn't know where I was. The number 1 sign I look out for now is how well he gets along with my friends, and how he feels about me spending time with them.
No matter what happens between her and that guy, you need to be there to tell her what's what, and to catch her if she falls. It's so easy to get caught up in a bad relationship and ignore things that you know are wrong.
mrsjohnson75
Well-Known Member
Another sign....
Isolating you from friends and family....making you believe that they don't love you as much as he does
Isolating you from friends and family....making you believe that they don't love you as much as he does
ccd
New Member
Yeah, at first I'm thinking "oh how sweet he is so generous" then now I'm like I would still miss calls if it happens like that......that is tricky
ccd
New Member
Well I'm glad that you got out early before it got to deep or too late. I had to exit my relationship with a getaway plan and a restraining order
Yeah, that is so scary....I'm glad you were and are safe and wiser now.
Cincysweetie
Well-Known Member
CCD, he sounds like he was gonna be a mess. I'm glad you're not involved in that situation anymore.
jturner7156
New Member
Yeah my ex had ALOT of these traits. The main one being, he would blame everything on me, I mean EVERYTHING. I am so glad it's over between me and him 
!
!
ccd
New Member
I KNoooooww...the thing is him seemed so cool and really into me which was nice to feel but at the same time something about it was making me feel like
erplexed not sure....one thing is for sure the instincts are on...women !!!don't ignore the weird feelings if they are there....
ccd
New Member
Yeah my ex had ALOT of these traits. The main one being, he would blame everything on me, I mean EVERYTHING. I am so glad it's over between me and him
Wow.......this is crazy
I am reading some of these posts and this relationship (i use that term loosely) that was just ended had some of those signs. My instincts told me not to pursue it, but I ignored it since I felt good that I was getting attn and someone wanted to be with me. The signs in this recent past relationship that I was in included:
He wanted me to dress a certain way-no pants/just long skirts
He wanted me to move in
He spoke about marriage at the first date (not a huge sign but something to be aware of)
He wanted to be my boyfriend stat-and have that title rather quickly (after a couple weeks)-at first I thought whooaa-slow down, but then I got mixed up and thought he was just that smitten with me
He wanted me to act on his sexual advances even when I told him I wasn't ready
He wanted me to stay over his place all the time
He would call or text a lot but would not like if I did the same
I stayed over his place overnight one time and after work the next day he was aggravated that I didn't launder his sheets or do his dishes
From the jump he stated a relationship with him would 60-40 with him having most of the power (mind you-we were not together long, there was no justification behind it, it was just because)
For all my little actions/nuances he would criticize and try to control them.
He would embarrass me in public (talk about my body-like I'm a piece of meat to his friends)
Overall he really wnated to move too fast too soon. Although typing this gives me some type of release, I wanted to add to some of the examples just in case someone is experiencing anything similar.
It hurt when I told him never to contact me again cause I wanted to be in a relationship and I liked having someone there who wanted me. However, the thought of me compromising myself and potentially my safety was too much to handle. Watch out ladies-and listen to your instincts. We deserve better!
He wanted me to dress a certain way-no pants/just long skirts
He wanted me to move in
He spoke about marriage at the first date (not a huge sign but something to be aware of)
He wanted to be my boyfriend stat-and have that title rather quickly (after a couple weeks)-at first I thought whooaa-slow down, but then I got mixed up and thought he was just that smitten with me
He wanted me to act on his sexual advances even when I told him I wasn't ready
He wanted me to stay over his place all the time
He would call or text a lot but would not like if I did the same
I stayed over his place overnight one time and after work the next day he was aggravated that I didn't launder his sheets or do his dishes
From the jump he stated a relationship with him would 60-40 with him having most of the power (mind you-we were not together long, there was no justification behind it, it was just because)
For all my little actions/nuances he would criticize and try to control them.
He would embarrass me in public (talk about my body-like I'm a piece of meat to his friends
)Overall he really wnated to move too fast too soon. Although typing this gives me some type of release, I wanted to add to some of the examples just in case someone is experiencing anything similar.
It hurt when I told him never to contact me again cause I wanted to be in a relationship and I liked having someone there who wanted me. However, the thought of me compromising myself and potentially my safety was too much to handle. Watch out ladies-and listen to your instincts. We deserve better!
adf23
Well-Known Member
Sigh- this thread is upsetting to me, because I have a good girlfriend whose boyfriend exhibits ALL of these signs. She just moved in with him last week.
I have thought for a while now, that it's only a matter of time before he gets physical with her. As far as I know, he had never touched her- but all of the signs leading up to it are there.
If I were to tell her what I thought, surely she would start avoiding me. I guess I'll hold back until/if she comes to me with something.
I have thought for a while now, that it's only a matter of time before he gets physical with her. As far as I know, he had never touched her- but all of the signs leading up to it are there.
If I were to tell her what I thought, surely she would start avoiding me. I guess I'll hold back until/if she comes to me with something.
ccd
New Member
Sigh- this thread is upsetting to me, because I have a good girlfriend whose boyfriend exhibits ALL of these signs. She just moved in with him last week.
I have thought for a while now, that it's only a matter of time before he gets physical with her. As far as I know, he had never touched her- but all of the signs leading up to it are there.
If I were to tell her what I thought, surely she would start avoiding me. I guess I'll hold back until/if she comes to me with something.
I'm sorry to hear someone you know is going thru this....
what kinda things make you think he/she are in an unhealthy relationship?
How long have they been dating?
Honey6928215
New Member
You ladies post a lot of good advice here. And I'm taking notes for my two daughters. I hope your friend gets out of this before it's too late. It can be very disasterous for her.
Don't forget to give us an update.
Don't forget to give us an update.
Extremus
Well-Known Member
What are the signs?
I was just discussing this with a friend of mine. I fear that her current SO is going to become an abusive man. She thinks I’m overreacting. What are the signs of a possessive/jealous/abusive SO/spouse? Actually, she thinks it’s cute that he’s always so pressed to know everything she’s doing, who she’s talking to, etc. He calls her like a million times a day. She says no guy has ever taken such an interest in her! I’m likethat’s because all the other guys you’ve dated were NORMAL. I honestly think at this point in her life, she’s starving for attention. I worry about her!
This is my friend!!! She actually had the nerve to say that I was jealous cuz he did this with her!!
(Females can be sooo effin stupid & thas y I don't have many friends)After reading the list, these signs were on point about my friends SO.
erplexed
cocoberry10
Well-Known Member
Sigh- this thread is upsetting to me, because I have a good girlfriend whose boyfriend exhibits ALL of these signs. She just moved in with him last week.
I have thought for a while now, that it's only a matter of time before he gets physical with her. As far as I know, he had never touched her- but all of the signs leading up to it are there.
If I were to tell her what I thought, surely she would start avoiding me. I guess I'll hold back until/if she comes to me with something.
It's sad, but when your self-esteem is sooooooooo low, you can't help but feel this way!
chicacanella
New Member
this is scary.
cocoberry10
Well-Known Member
^^Yes it is!
STLCoverGirl
New Member
Possessive men suck. Been there, done that, it's no fun. Tell your friend it only gets worse and to take off running and screaming.
nappi
Well-Known Member
some actions that i find questionable are.....
he says hes in love w/ u/wants 2 marry u/wants u 2 move in (which may not sound so bad but kinda scary if u've only known each other for only two weeks)
u r to have to male friends
he alone runs tings
he must be able to account for ur whereabouts 24/7
shows up @ ur doorstep ALL HOURS of the day/night
calls u 30+ times in an hour because he couldn't reach u
abused/killed dogs
wants u to tattoo his name on ur cooch
becomes upset because another man asked u for the time
........umm yeah theses r just off the top of my head
he says hes in love w/ u/wants 2 marry u/wants u 2 move in (which may not sound so bad but kinda scary if u've only known each other for only two weeks)
u r to have to male friends
he alone runs tings
he must be able to account for ur whereabouts 24/7
shows up @ ur doorstep ALL HOURS of the day/night
calls u 30+ times in an hour because he couldn't reach u
abused/killed dogs
wants u to tattoo his name on ur cooch
becomes upset because another man asked u for the time
........umm yeah theses r just off the top of my head
Extremus
Well-Known Member
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