pornography and relationships
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GeorginaSparks
Well-Known Member
desensitizing? umm no
music-bnatural-smile
New Member
um none for SO... sorry...
and he would be pissed if I watched it...
its kinda
weird to me... plus I had an SO that made me watch it... not fun stuff 
like... why don't you try that that and that
I can't shake that experience I don't think I'll ever like it
and he would be pissed if I watched it...
its kinda
weird to me... plus I had an SO that made me watch it... not fun stuff like... why don't you try that that and that
I can't shake that experience I don't think I'll ever like it
GeorginaSparks
Well-Known Member
gabulldawg
Well-Known Member
Really....how do you know this? And that can't be the case for everyone
Of course it's not the case for everyone, but it definitely does happen.
yokoyokogirl
New Member
My ex-husband watched it excessively. I didn't really know the extent before marriage tho. When I found it, it was pretty shocking. And it was always really abusive type-porn. It was one of the reasons why I left him.
I think it's kinda gross, but I guess most men watch it occasionally?
I know a girl here whose bf watches it and then masturbates to it in front of her. She doesn't like it, but she accepts it cause "she loves him"...I told her "Girl that's some f-uped ish...wouldn't be me"
I think it's kinda gross, but I guess most men watch it occasionally?
I know a girl here whose bf watches it and then masturbates to it in front of her. She doesn't like it, but she accepts it cause "she loves him"...I told her "Girl that's some f-uped ish...wouldn't be me"
spelmanlocks
Well-Known Member
I have no problem with porn and I don't mind DH watching it, but do think porn can ruin relationships if its not kept in check. They actually just had a huge conference here about porn and how it can ruin relationships, so obviously it does mess up some people's marriages. I've heard that some men begin to prefer watching porn than having sex with their partner, so I can see how it can become a problem.
LifeafterLHCF
New Member
I guess Im just a goody two shoes but porn is a no go.I feel that it places additional pressures on a relationship married or not.I'm not allowing anyone to see me in a intimate way until I'm carried over the threshold so if a man is wavering about sex what else would he be wavering about.If you look at stuff eventually it will come out of you.It like in the bible adultery isnt with hands its in the mind.Being somone who use to look at porn it continues long after you have turned the dvd or logged off the site.Its not healthy..sex should be with hubby and wifey..there shouldn't be any standards or pressures which causes so many issues in marriage..
DragonPearl
Well-Known Member
The DVD version arrived and last weekend, DH and I had a
date night around it; it was great to watch and it greatly enhanced communication between us. Thank you Tiara for the recommendation. Though it would not qualify as porn, this was exactly what I was looking for .
LightEyedMami
New Member
yep, my cousins husband sure does PREFER porn over sex with her.
I agree with you on both things, and I'm way to "creative"
for him to "NEED" porn anyway.
Honey Bee
Well-Known Member
[/B] yep, my cousins husband sure does PREFER porn over sex with her.
, indeed. That is certainly a problem. For my own relationship purposes, 
, was it always like that, or is this a recent development?Admittedly, I'm not very creative. I'm 'technically proficient' and pretty open-minded, so I'm pretty much down for whatever with my boo... I just need an idea every now and then.
ilah
Active Member
I always thought that a man having porn was normal. I understand that even though a man is satisfied at home he will still look at porn if the opportunity arises. My boyfriend has a large collection but it was there before me and I have no intentions of asking him to get rid of it...it's his.
It doesn't bother me because I feel like the majority of men have some kind of collection and that it's ok.
It doesn't bother me because I feel like the majority of men have some kind of collection and that it's ok.
tiara76
New Member
The DVD version arrived and last weekend, DH and I had a
Thank you Tiara for the recommendation. Though it would not qualify as porn, this was exactly what I was looking for .
i still havent ordered that one....thank you for the feedback...those types of videos definitely is more about sexual expression in a healthy loving way and it really can help alot of people open up and become more intimate or learn new things
Bene
New Member
I don't have a problem with porn nor do I see it as cheating. Men are visual creatures, and actually, I think porn (and clearing out the pipes) is healthy. I think in most of the situations in which it ruins relationships is when the other person thinks there's something wrong with it.
MD_Lady
Well-Known Member
My answer isn't up there... I don't think there's anything wrong with it as long as both people are on the same page (in other words, one person couldn't 
erplexed at their spouse for having a collection, but :reddancer: with their own). People also have to be respectful of one another. We all have boundaries, we'd all like to see them respected, and we all should extend that courteousy to our spouses.
erplexed at their spouse for having a collection, but :reddancer: with their own). People also have to be respectful of one another. We all have boundaries, we'd all like to see them respected, and we all should extend that courteousy to our spouses.
BillsBackerz67
Well-Known Member
My ex-husband watched it excessively. I didn't really know the extent before marriage tho. When I found it, it was pretty shocking. And it was always really abusive type-porn. It was one of the reasons why I left him.
I think it's kinda gross, but I guess most men watch it occasionally?
I know a girl here whose bf watches it and then masturbates to it in front of her. She doesn't like it, but she accepts it cause "she loves him"...I told her "Girl that's some f-uped ish...wouldn't be me"
Umm that's kinda sexy
*shrugs* different strokes for different folks. I would umm *cough* participate in that action along with him though...Yep. I think that same thing when people say you can become desensitized. You could become desensitized to the same sex year after year.
lizzyb168
New Member
IMO, i dont think porn is a bad thing at all. My baby boo and I from time to time watch it, mostly together but before we ever did, we talked about it first to see how we both felt about it. All i know is that he was definately watchin it before me (like 99% of men) and definately was goin to be watchin it behind my back when he is with me.
When we do watch it, it definetaly spices up our relationship and makes everything very fun, but we set out our boundaries from the start so we know how far both of us will go.
Also i think it depends on the man and the woman, some people are just not that into it, and some men just like to keep porn to themselves as their dirty lil secret and not share it with their loved one!
When we do watch it, it definetaly spices up our relationship and makes everything very fun, but we set out our boundaries from the start so we know how far both of us will go.
Also i think it depends on the man and the woman, some people are just not that into it, and some men just like to keep porn to themselves as their dirty lil secret and not share it with their loved one!
ScorpionQueen
Member
my husband is not into porn but if he was, I wouldn't care..I think it only becomes a problem when a man lets porn become a huge part of his life, for example, it cuts into your quality time together or interferes with other things that he should be doing..it is definitely NOT adultery IMO..it's just adult entertainment to me..
Southernbella.
Well-Known Member
It's a no-go in my house.
I dont mind it. I look at stuff occasionally when I feel like it and my SO does too. If it was excessive or that really fake hardcore stuff then that would put me off.
My SO and my ex only like amateur porn. They have those websites where you can watch normal couples on a big brotherish vibe or just amateur videocam stuff. Pretty basic.
My SO and my ex only like amateur porn. They have those websites where you can watch normal couples on a big brotherish vibe or just amateur videocam stuff. Pretty basic.
TracyNicole
Well-Known Member
I don't mind if it is out in the open and can be discussed. I read romance novels and some of those sex scenes are so raunchy that I would be a hypocrite to say no you can't watch porn. We could watch it together but I don't find it as interesting as reading about it. I see how it could have the potential to lead to cheating but in my opinion it's the same type of weapon as a gun. It's what the person using it does with it that can cause a problem.
apemay1969
Well-Known Member
I believe that it has perpetuated my husband's fantasies about younger women. I can't live up to a 18-22 year old fantasy woman. I'm 40 years old with 5 biological children. Although I think that I'm holding up well, everything ain't holding up like it was when I was 20 years old.
Not a thing.
When he looks at that and that becomes a routine, how could he look at me and be aroused? It's like doing it too much with a vibrator and then expecting your husband to be able to do that. He can't live up to it - it's unrealistic. I can't live up to those girls - who I feel sorry for - because it's unrealistic.
It has caused problems in my marriage and it's creepy especially since our girls are getting older and their visiting friends are too. I would hate to think of how he would feel if that were his daughters in those movies. Or if he's looking at their friends like that. The humanity is removed.
Icky.
Not a thing.
When he looks at that and that becomes a routine, how could he look at me and be aroused? It's like doing it too much with a vibrator and then expecting your husband to be able to do that. He can't live up to it - it's unrealistic. I can't live up to those girls - who I feel sorry for - because it's unrealistic.
It has caused problems in my marriage and it's creepy especially since our girls are getting older and their visiting friends are too.
I would hate to think of how he would feel if that were his daughters in those movies. Or if he's looking at their friends like that. The humanity is removed. Icky.
apemay1969
Well-Known Member
I have to admit. When we do watch amateur couples our age or a little younger, I don't feel so insecure. Sometimes I get distracted my how their bedroom is designed or if her belly is pouchy. Don't let her (or him) have some pretty hair.
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