Played the fool

[Helpmeblongagain]

Hi guys, I recently found out that I played the fool much more than I thought in my last relationship...I'm happy to know the new things that have come to light....mainly because now I know that next time I should trust my gut...

But, it still hurts. I have to come to terms with a lot of these new truths...would anyone mind sharing a time when they played the fool or were in a bad relationship?

I'll post my story in its entirety soon...

Hearing other peoples experiences kind of helps me heal. TIA

 

[Makenzie]

I won't post my story, but I have been there. The best thing I can tell you is that the pain lessens with time. Cliche'ish I know, but it is true. It really does. Learn from your mistakes. Look at why they happened. It's not just that he took advantage, but you let him. Why? When you understand your role in it and why you let it happen, you will be a stronger woman, more determined never to let it happen again and able to weed out the losers/posers from the genuine ones.

 

[manter26]

I guess this would pertain to me. I met my first bf when I was 16y/o. We've still been messing around, I'm 24 now. He married someone else some years ago and told me it was because in the military he earns a higher income. Time after time, our relationship has gone sour and he goes right back to her. He's told me over and over again that they got divorced when he left the military. A few months ago I was on facebook and I saw that she has his last name hyphenated with his own. I accused him of lying to me and noticed a few weeks ago that she is no longer on his friends list.

Bottom line is that he can't be trusted. I thought about being with him in a serious relationship but only if I had a background check. Realizing how ridiculous that is, I'm finally done seeing him. Even though recently it's just been casual.

 

[caltron]

I think every woman has played the fool at one point or another. I certainly have. I don't have a story--he was just a plain loser and I kept him around much, much longer than I should have.

I don't think it's a bad thing though. Every relationship is about trust, and until you find the right one, you will be let down. The important thing is that you recognized what was happening and moved on. Some women never really wake up even when all the red flags were there.

 

[shenitab]

I'm just going to say that sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince. Take it slow, ask a lot of questions, don't stand for foolishness, another bus is coming in a minute.

 

[tiara76]

the thing about playing the fool is whether u are consciously aware of it or not, you stepped into that role and played it.....the question is why?? esp when ur gut lets u know whats goin on deep down anyways....when u answer that question is when u move onwards and can appreciate the experience for helping u grow

 

[Helpmeblongagain]

Thanx guys...I didn't intentionally play the fool...I guess I was naive and trusted someone who wasn't trustworthy. And it hurts to know I was just a game to him.

I was going to post the story, but its so long that I doubt you all would want to read it.

In a nut shell, I can say I kept turning the other cheek and ignored the signs...and I recently found out he is everything I feared he was. I'm thanking God everyday for protecting me and not having me end up with a STI because with all he was doing its a blessing.

 

[natstar]

I think we have all been there at one time or another. I know I have. It feels horrible-esp. when you KNOW better. However- I agree that with time the hurt lessens and there is so much you can learn from this experience. It's a good thing that you at least recognize and admitted where you decided not to trust your gut so that next time you know what to look out for in your next relationship.

You will be fine- in the meantime-don't dwell too much (it's hard sometimes not to) and try to occupy your time with stuff you like to do so you can remain positive about yourself and your situation. Everyone has missteps-but it's good that you recognize them.

ETA: ITA with Tiara76- u r gonna have to be real honest with urself- that's the hardest part.

 

[Helpmeblongagain]

Thank you all again...this is really helpful...I can't really share this with my family and friends because I feel like they'll all give me the good ole "I told you so"

I've replayed the relationship in my journal...from the first moment I met him until the last time we exchanged words...and that has helped alot...its helping me to be honest with myself just as Tiara suggested...

 

[NYAmicas]

Been there.....done that or at least I hope. You havent been the only one on that cruise OP! *Hugs*