Paying Bills And Marriage

You never know what life throws at you though. You could marry someone who earns more than you, but then the opposite occurs. You end up earning much more than him.
 
DragonPearl said:
Wow. That's cool, though.

If there are so many women being SAHM in this current generation, then I think when it will be time for them to go back to work, the time away will not be as much of an issue as it has been in the past because most women and men (husbands) would have gone through it and will understand and will be willing to hire them. At least, that's my hope.
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Yup there also more ways to make money and better access to higher education.
 
DragonPearl said:
Wow. That's cool, though.

If there are so many women being SAHM in this current generation, then I think when it will be time for them to go back to work, the time away will not be as much of an issue as it has been in the past because most women and men (husbands) would have gone through it and will understand and will be willing to hire them. At least, that's my hope.
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Idk. I get the impression that a lot of us (late gen X/ early gen Y) have lost trust in the current system to the degree that it's more 'stable' to work for a few years, stack up, and start your own thing. That's men and women, tbh.
 
Mortons said:
They could live a 50k lifestyle and he foots the good majority of the bills. Her income could go into extras, savings, investment and retirement. When they are ready to retire (and that could be early due to not living on her income) they will have plenty to send their children to school on, vacation with, and live off of from IRA savings and investments.

It also makes sense to do that if she decides to take time off of work to have kids or something happens to her. Lifestyle is shifted so that there are no extras but he can still manage just fine without needing her to work.
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I have to go back to this post again because upon reflection I have to say that it is actually a very good suggestion.

Of course it's going to depend on some variables like where they live, and what kind of schools they want to send their children to, what kind of house they want to buy, but overall, living on one partner's lesser income could be a great solution, providing the couple sees eye to eye financially and is willing to be smart about how they use the extra income. Could be the secret to early retirement. The only difference for me is that it could be used regardless of gender role and who makes more. :yep:
 
FemmeCreole said:
Well can they come down some to a happy medium? For instance if I make 100k on my own, I probably live a particular lifestyle. If I marry a man making half that, I would not be inclined to downgrade how I live so dramatically. So with his income we'd be able to save more even if we live on a 75k budget and save, invest the other 75k
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I think that's precisely why certain women are not okay with being the breadwinner by any significant amount (i.e not just by a few thousand).

If said woman married a man who made 100K or more, then she could still live a 100K lifestyle with him, and they could use either salary for saving and investing.

Women who would have a problem downgrading their lifestyle would be wise to consider that before marrying a man who made significantly less.
 
DragonPearl said:
I have to go back to this post again because upon reflection I have to say that it is actually a very good suggestion.

Of course it's going to depend on some variables like where they live, and what kind of schools they want to send their children to, what kind of house they want to buy, but overall, living on one partner's lesser income could be a great solution, providing the couple sees eye to eye financially and is willing to be smart about how they use the extra income. Could be the secret to early retirement. The only difference for me is that it could be used regardless of gender role and who makes more. :yep:
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My dad retired from the military and is now on his retirement job. He has changed jobs several times to get a good fit, and they have performed several cross country moves. My mom gave up working all together under the guise of finding a job she really likes (like that will ever happen :rolleyes:). They are in their 40s and dont have to work again if they dont want to all because they lived on my dads income and saved my moms.
 
Mortons said:
My dad retired from the military and is now on his retirement job. He has changed jobs several times to get a good fit, and they have performed several cross country moves. My mom gave up working all together under the guise of finding a job she really likes (like that will ever happen :rolleyes:). They are in their 40s and dont have to work again if they dont want to all because they lived on my dads income and saved my moms.
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Dang, Im jealous! :lol: J/K. I love my work, but knowing that one doesn't HAVE to work can make work even sweeter. :grin:

Good for your folks. :up:
 
EdgyGirl said:
So are we just going to ignore this part? She isn't happy with this set up so the "do whatever works for you" and "maybe she is okay with it" argument doesn't fly here. She is not okay with it like many of the women who have posted in this thread are not okay with this set up. I thought this is why posters started talking negatively about this arrangement in the first place--because the woman was unhappy with it.
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Thank you for pointing this out again

DragonPearl said:
So if I understand you, you are saying that the solution for women making $100K a year and who are married to men making significantly less, would be for the family to live at the man's income level while putting the woman's income away in other things (savings, investment, retirement etc), just so they can satisfy the rule that the man is paying the majority of the bills? But if the sex were reversed, and the man was the one making $100K, the couple would be expected to live at the $100K income level?
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FemmeCreole said:
Well can they come down some to a happy medium? For instance if I make 100k on my own, I probably live a particular lifestyle. If I marry a man making half that, I would not be inclined to downgrade how I live so dramatically. So with his income we'd be able to save more even if we live on a 75k budget and save, invest the other 75k
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I don't think the answer is that you are only literally living at that lifestyle point. Say for example, if you wanted a house that was more expensive than the 50k could afford, you could use the 100k to save a large enough down payment so that the mortgage would still fit within the 50k budget. Same with cars or other things. Even use the money to save up in advance for private school. That way, if the wife did stop working, she would still have the option b/c she's not tied to a 100k mortgage. It just means that if they did that, they wouldn't have saved as much, but that might be worth the trade off for them.

I hope that made sense. I think with some foresight and planning, couples can have lots of options to create the life they want :yep:
 
I'm not downgrading my lifestyle for marriage. Lifestyle is important to me, and a big part of the career decisions I made. I just don't want to do that.
 
FemmeCreole said:
Well can they come down some to a happy medium? For instance if I make 100k on my own, I probably live a particular lifestyle. If I marry a man making half that, I would not be inclined to downgrade how I live so dramatically. So with his income we'd be able to save more even if we live on a 75k budget and save, invest the other 75k
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That's my thought.....like how many women are going to make six figures but are willing to live off of less than ONE-THIRD of that? If a person is a SAHM with no income/no savings, that's one thing. But if combined incomes are $140,000, it would be rare to find a woman living in a household supported by $40K....while putting all her income into investments or the like. Maybe 75K. Maybe.
 
BEAUTYU2U said:
Finger wagging, eyes rolling, and "I would never ..." comments. :giggle:
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Actually there were some very good advice given. I learned a few things I might want to apply... in the event I decide to make a third trip down the aisle. :sekret:

In the meantime, I am happily shacking up. I say happily because I am not paying rent and stuff. :lol: I am not being a hypocrite though. I have been in situations where I paid half, depending on the incomes. Its just a special time of my life where my income has to go to things that are VERY important to me, and my current SO understands and is cool with that.
 
DragonPearl said:
Actually there were some very good advice given. I learned a few things I might want to apply... in the event I decide to make a third trip down the aisle. :sekret:

In the meantime, I am happily shacking up. I say happily because I am not paying rent and stuff. :lol: I am not being a hypocrite though. I have been in situations where I paid half, depending on the incomes. Its just a special time of my life where my income has to go to things that are VERY important to me, and my current SO understands and is cool with that.
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:lachen: :sekret:
 
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