***Online Dating Support Thread***

[JollyGal]

Hello ladies,



Welcome to the Online Dating Support Thread!!!

This thread is open to all who want to start dating men online, are currently doing so and for those who have advice/stories to share (good or bad).

I am no expert but I hope this thread can provide support to those who want to start online dating or are currently doing it.

Feel free to post your questions and share your stories here.

Enjoy

I'll start with a question;
Has anyone had any success with using The Rules for Online Dating?
How long is too long when exchanging emails with an online potential?

****
Ten Essential Online Dating Safety Tips

1. Trust Your Gut Instinct
Your instinct is a powerful medium for knowing when something doesn't feel right. It is also a great way to measure when to move forward with someone and when to turn and run. As you read profiles, responses to emails, have phone conversations, and meet in person your instincts help tell you if something is "right" or if something is out of alignment. The "out of alignment" message is your cue to be careful, back off, or proceed with extreme caution. Trust your gut instinct, it's the most powerful psychological tool you have at your disposal.

2. Don't Provide Personal Information Too Soon
Your home phone number and full name provide easy ways to track who you are and where you live. Armed with just your home phone number, a person can easily gain access to your income information, home address, and even learn the value of your home. Armed with your first and last name, a person can do searches to determine quite a bit of information on you - where you work, what you do, and even what your home phone number is. So in the initial stages of communication, guard your personal information. As far as phone communication, see the next tip.

3. Use a Free Email Account
If you decide to move your communication from the anonymous email feature provided by the majority of online dating services then provide an email address that isn't your regular one. Sign up for a free Yahoo!, Hotmail, or Gmail account that you use just for online dating. Don't put your full name in the From field - only your first name or something else. This protects you from a person being able to search your normal email address to find out more information about you.

4. Use a Cell Phone or Anonymous Phone Service to Chat
When it's time to move your communication to the next level (talking on the phone), never give out your home phone number. Either provide a cell phone number, use Skype to communicate, or use an anonymous phone service. It's just an added protection barrier until you get to know the person better.

5. Beware of Married People
It's unfortunate, but a lot of married people do use online dating services. They'll even go as far as to meet people. A few years ago, MSNBC reported that a study found that up to 30% of people using online dating services are married! To help you in determining whether a person is married or not, read the Online Dating Magazine article, "Staying Clear of Married Men".

6. Look for Questionable Characteristics in Your Communication
As you chat via email and on the phone you may be able to start to pick out characteristics of the other person. Are they controlling? Do they seem to anger easily? Do they avoid some of your questions? These can be questionable characteristics that tell you it's time to move on.

7. Ask for a Recent Photo
There's nothing wrong in asking someone if their photos are recent. If they don't have a photo, request a recent one. It's important for you to get a good look at the person you may eventually meet. Plus your instincts from your communications and their photos may provide you with valuable insight into the person. Plus, if they tell you the photo is recent and you meet and see a major difference, then you'll know the person lied and can cut the date short. If a person lies about their photo or profile then that is a red flag to no longer pursue the relationship.

8. Stick With Paid Online Dating Services
Free online dating services provide a greater opportunity for potentially dangerous individuals. They don't ever have to provide a credit card or other information that identifies them. There is some truth to the saying, "you get what you pay for".

9. Don't Get a False Sense of Security
Some online dating services claim to offer "background checks" and when signing up for such a service you may find it easier to let your guard down. Don't. Laws differ from state-to-state when it comes to background checks and there are even several states where checks can't be effectively performed. Because of the inconsistency, criminals/wrong doers can and do get into services that do "background checks". Never let your guard down.

10. Meet in a Public Place for Your First Meeting
When it's time to schedule that first exciting face-to-face meeting, arrange to meet in a public place and provide your own transportation. Your initial meeting will tell you a lot about the other person, including whether or not he/she lied in their profile. Your gut instincts will kick in. Never accept an offer to be picked up at your house. Make sure that a friend knows where you are at and who you are with.

By following these tips, you'll help protect yourself from being an easy prey to someone who may have ulterior motives. With an average of 100+ marriages a day from online dating, you can see that the experience can be both safe and rewarding. Keep it safe!

***

12 Tips For Safe Online Dating

There’s a nervousness, thrill, and excitement that occurs when meeting a person for the first time face to face. Yet amongst the thrill, remember to always be on your guard when going out on a date with someone you barely know.
Here are 12 tips on dating safety to help you get started:

1. Arrange to meet him.
When meeting for the first time, never allow your date to pick you up from your home. In fact, your date shouldn't even know your home address yet!

2. Meet in public places.
For a first meeting, always meet in a public place where other people are in close proximity. You may also want to consider going out with a group of people, or a double date.

3. Go dutch by paying half of the bill.
It's always respectful for the man to offer to pay the bill. Unfortunately, some men ruin the gesture by expecting something in return. Therefore it may not be a bad idea for you to go dutch. Pay half the bill so that you won't feel under any obligation to "return" the favor. *This one is up to you*

4. Remember that alcohol affects your judgment.
The biggest threat to a person's judgment, when on a date, is alcohol. Not only does it affect your judgment, but alcohol also lessens your inhibitions. If you are drinking, keep your drink in sight at all times and don’t get so drunk that you don’t know what you are doing. Better yet, try to avoid alcohol on your first date.

5. Use your own mode of transportation.
Provide your own transportation to your public meeting place and make sure you have more than enough gas.

6. Don't assume that a man is safe.
It's important never to let your guard down when on a first date. Never assume a man is safe just because he claims to be religious or a gentleman.

7. Don’t let him know where you live.
If you want to see him again, arrange a second date and then take it from there.

8. Avoid secluded areas.
Remember - stay in a public place for your first date and avoid secluded areas such as parks.

9. Listen to your gut.
If something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. And if you haven’t met him before, and you know at the beginning of the date that something doesn’t feel right, then leave immediately.

10. Always let someone else know where you're going. Be sure someone knows where you are going and who you'll be with. You might even consider arranging a time to call and check in. Or you could arrange to meet up with friends later that night.

11. Give him your cell phone number.
It's safer to give out a cell phone number instead of your home phone number.

12. Always remain alert.
Even if you’re having a blast and the chemistry is great, it’s a good idea to remain alert the whole evening. Make sure you have a cell phone on you.

Dating safely is very important. In the initial stages of dating and online dating, you are still getting to know someone you know very little about. By creating a safe environment to know the person, you’re creating a better situation for yourself.

***

 

[LovelyNaps26]

I am in the very early stages of communicating with someone I met through an online dating service. In the case of long distance it seem that a month seems about right for the amount of time you might want to wait before meeting. If you communicate with someone for a month and have little desire to meet them then you might want to re-evaluate the potential of the relationship. I imagine that in situation where distance isn't a factor at most two weeks or consistent calls/emails should be enough before you sense if the person is a prospect/ not insane.

I'd also recommend doing some background check work. I do this early on. It could be as simple as searching for the person in Google or Facebook. Knowing that the person's name shows up somewhere and that you may actually be able to verify his photo is helpful. You can also pay for online background check services for things like criminal record and address. General information about address may show up which is helpful b/c you can validate that the person actually lives where he says he does.

It may seem OCD but there are some crazies and in order for you to move ahead in the relationship you need to at least trust that basic aspects of the person are true.

 

[Daeuiel]

I met my current SO online 2 years ago. I'd say it was very successful indeed. He had an ad on Craig's list and I followed ALL of these rules. I was as paranoid as a ****. I made sure my momma, gran & best friend knew where I was and when to expect a call and when I should be home. Used a cell phone, anonymous yahoo account, asked for more pictures, and even more pictures met him in Times Square right next to the po pos, never turned my back or got too comfortable despite the great chemistry, drank no alcohol. Took separate trains home too. Had pepper spray in my purse the whole time. Shhh! he doesn't know and hopefully never will

 

[Bunny77]

Hell nah at going Dutch, online or not!

If he asks me out, he pays!

The idea that women should be worried that he might "expect" something in return is just a way to excuse bad behavior on a man's part. Set a standard as to what you expect. If he fails to meet it, then move on.

 

[caltron]

I don't know what the rules are for online dating, but on your second question my advice would be not to wait too long before setting up that first meeting. On the telephone and in online chats, a person can be whoever they want to be. You can tell so much more about a man after a one hour conversation face-to-face over dinner than weeks of online and telphone communication. I've dated guys who seemed like dreamboats on the phone, but revealed themselves as duds in the first five minutes of meeting them. By contrast, I met my dh online and from our telephone and email chats I wasn't even that interested. But on our first date I was totally blown away.

It may make you *feel* like you are being safer by delaying, but I think in a lot of cases, it's counterproductive and often a waste of time. You just get more and more attached to someone who could turn out to be a dud. Also, realize that many undercover married men will intentionally delay that first meeting because they just get off on the thrill of flirting on the phone and have no intentions of following through with any relationship.

So basically I treated online dating like a hiring partner would treat a search for a new employee. Weed out as many as you can on the phone, hold a screening interview/date for the ones who make the first cut, and then more longer interviews for the ones who survived the other cuts.

Good luck!

 

[caltron]

Hell nah at going Dutch, online or not!

If he asks me out, he pays!

The idea that women should be worried that he might "expect" something in return is just a way to excuse bad behavior on a man's part. Set a standard as to what you expect. If he fails to meet it, then move on.

ITA. Do NOT offer to pay until you are in a relationship with a man. I know we're all liberated women, but some things just don't change. A decent man is going to feel it's his duty to pay your way. I wouldn't even pay even if I was the one who initiated the date.

 

[Keen]

Hell nah at going Dutch, online or not!

If he asks me out, he pays!

The idea that women should be worried that he might "expect" something in return is just a way to excuse bad behavior on a man's part. Set a standard as to what you expect. If he fails to meet it, then move on.

I once agreed to go dutch because I thought we were having dutch food. Once my friend told me what it was, I cancelled that date so fast. She still laugh at me to this day for not knowing what "going dutch' means.

 

[VelvetRain]

So I was asked out last night by another guy with whom I have been corresponding back and forth with over email for the last two weeks. It was only this past Sunday that he asked for my number and wants to take me out this Saturday. I just get the feeling he is a tad clingy.Told him I missed being so near to the coast back in MA. He mentioned something about wanting to take me to the beach or to the coast for a weekend trip. I am like dude we haven't met each other yet and have no idea if we are going to vibe in person. Let's hold on that. He also called me ridiculously early this morning and woke me up. Not sure about this one.

 

[Daeuiel]

So I was asked out last night by another guy with whom I have been corresponding back and forth with over email for the last two weeks. It was only this past Sunday that he asked for my number and wants to take me out this Saturday. I just get the feeling he is a tad clingy.Told him I missed being so near to the coast back in MA. He mentioned something about wanting to take me to the beach or to the coast for a weekend trip. I am like dude we haven't met each other yet and have no idea if we are going to vibe in person. Let's hold on that. He also called me ridiculously early this morning and woke me up. Not sure about this one.

I would still go, but be prepared to leave at the first sign of danger. I mean anything you don't like, if your instincts are telling you no, just leave. It's a first date, you don't owe this guy anything. He may just be very earnest and excited to have a date. That early morning calling is a bit much though. I wouldn't blame you if you decided to throw this one back. But personally I would go and see what he's like in person. If it went south quick, it wouldn't be the first time I've walked out on a bad date

 

[lushcoils]

I wouldn't go with him if he was going to drive me there. :/

 

[cinnespice]

So I was asked out last night by another guy with whom I have been corresponding back and forth with over email for the last two weeks. It was only this past Sunday that he asked for my number and wants to take me out this Saturday. I just get the feeling he is a tad clingy.Told him I missed being so near to the coast back in MA. He mentioned something about wanting to take me to the beach or to the coast for a weekend trip. I am like dude we haven't met each other yet and have no idea if we are going to vibe in person. Let's hold on that. He also called me ridiculously early this morning and woke me up. Not sure about this one.

Seriously im wondering if we meet the same guy cause the same thing happened to me. We did vibe on the phone though alot. But he kept saying about going away and taking me away somewhere.....ummm we didnt even go on a date yet. When we were suppose to have our first meetup he stood me up and im like....other things 2 but he was just weird.
And then there was another guy that i was corresponding with online we exchanged numbers. So i see he like to text alot...i mean a lot i dont' know how his thumb didnt lock up. This idiot calls me at 1 in the morning to ask if i want to go for a drive? really do i know you?? you could be a mass murderer........on to the next one.
Im not sure about the online dating.

 

[JollyGal]

Ladies, thank you all for your responses.

I have been doing the rules with a man I am talking to but I think I have made a mistake. We have been talking online for about three months now(due to me being very busy) and he has suggested that he would like to
Take me places/meet up but he has not asked for my number or set a date to meet up. Intially I did not want to give him my number but in his latest emails to me you can read the frustration at me being "too" busy and keeping him at arms length (his words not mine). He has also said that he finds this "small talk" dull and thinks I am sending him emails just to be nice (huh??)

He seems like a nice guy, ideal on paper and I get that feeling but you can tell he used to getting what he wants in the past and the fact that I am not giving him what he wants on his terms, is annoying him to bits but not enough to stop emailing me. Lol.

I want to meet him I told him when I was free (10 days ago) but its like he wants me to tell him what to do like "ask for my number" "I want to eat at this restaurant" "call me"

I'm so confused. I thought I let him know that I am interested in meeting him and talking to him but it seems like my words have been interpreted in the opposite way.

How would you let this man know that you are ready to meet him and want to speak on the phone without sounding desperate or worried that you could be losing him?

 

[JollyGal]

Seriously im wondering if we meet the same guy cause the same thing happened to me. We did vibe on the phone though alot. But he kept saying about going away and taking me away somewhere.....ummm we didnt even go on a date yet. When we were suppose to have our first meetup he stood me up and im like....other things 2 but he was just weird.
And then there was another guy that i was corresponding with online we exchanged numbers. So i see he like to text alot...i mean a lot i dont' know how his thumb didnt lock up. This idiot calls me at 1 in the morning to ask if i want to go for a drive? really do i know you?? you could be a mass murderer........on to the next one.
Im not sure about the online dating.

Whoa nelly!
This is bizarre.
They say online dating is better than dating because you can vet the person properly but you can never tell how crazy that person may be.
Calling you at 1am is unacceptable. I hope he has stopped doing that. If he has not, block his number.

 

[Daeuiel]

Ladies, thank you all for your responses.

I have been doing the rules with a man I am talking to but I think I have made a mistake. We have been talking online for about three months now(due to me being very busy) and he has suggested that he would like to
Take me places/meet up but he has not asked for my number or set a date to meet up. Intially I did not want to give him my number but in his latest emails to me you can read the frustration at me being "too" busy and keeping him at arms length (his words not mine). He has also said that he finds this "small talk" dull and thinks I am sending him emails just to be nice (huh??)

He seems like a nice guy, ideal on paper and I get that feeling but you can tell he used to getting what he wants in the past and the fact that I am not giving him what he wants on his terms, is annoying him to bits but not enough to stop emailing me. Lol.

I want to meet him I told him when I was free (10 days ago) but its like he wants me to tell him what to do like "ask for my number" "I want to eat at this restaurant" "call me"

I'm so confused. I thought I let him know that I am interested in meeting him and talking to him but it seems like my words have been interpreted in the opposite way.

How would you let this man know that you are ready to meet him and want to speak on the phone without sounding desperate or worried that you could be losing him?

1. Don't even be worried about losing him. You never had him, more importantly he never had YOU. You can do way better than this wishy washy guy. He wants you to tell him what to do?? Personally I prefer a man who knows what he wants and can come out and say it. Either he has no confidence or enjoys playing games. Neither one is a good prospect.

2. You didn't make a mistake, HE did by being so rude to you in the emails! If he really wanted a chance to woo you he should NOT have said those things. I think he may want someone he can boss around. If he's saying things like that before he even knows you, what is he going to be like when you meet him?? If the 'getting to know you' beginning stuff is 'dull' 'small talk' to him, and he's 'getting sick of it' what does that mean? That he's not interested in getting to know you?? You have to decide what is acceptable behavior towards you from a man, and what is not. Me personally, I don't put up with any mess

3. In my opinion, if you're hearing everything he said and still want to meet with him, that could be considered desperate in and of itself. But if you go in there with a positive attitude, with confidence and firm in the knowledge that HE is lucky to even be seen with you, you'll be fine. Don't even let him think you've been waiting for this date for 3 months. From what you said he may be one of those guys who thinks he's God's gift or something. If you make a connection on that first date, cool. But if he continues that condescending behavior...I don't know why anyone would sign up for more of the same.

 

[VelvetRain]

Ladies, thank you all for your responses.

I have been doing the rules with a man I am talking to but I think I have made a mistake. We have been talking online for about three months now(due to me being very busy) and he has suggested that he would like to
Take me places/meet up but he has not asked for my number or set a date to meet up. Intially I did not want to give him my number but in his latest emails to me you can read the frustration at me being "too" busy and keeping him at arms length (his words not mine). He has also said that he finds this "small talk" dull and thinks I am sending him emails just to be nice (huh??)

He seems like a nice guy, ideal on paper and I get that feeling but you can tell he used to getting what he wants in the past and the fact that I am not giving him what he wants on his terms, is annoying him to bits but not enough to stop emailing me. Lol.

I want to meet him I told him when I was free (10 days ago) but its like he wants me to tell him what to do like "ask for my number" "I want to eat at this restaurant" "call me"

I'm so confused. I thought I let him know that I am interested in meeting him and talking to him but it seems like my words have been interpreted in the opposite way.

How would you let this man know that you are ready to meet him and want to speak on the phone without sounding desperate or worried that you could be losing him?

Girl how do you have the time for wishy washy men because I don't. I am sorry but grown arse men should be able to step it up and really say what it is they are looking for or wish to do. He is playing games with you and you really don't have the energy for that or do you? I had one guy a few weeks ago that was beyond eager to meet me. Seemed like a nice guy. Setup a date and all. He also turned out not to be a person of his word. Stood me up not once but two times. Then had the nerve to text me a day later saying I am sorry I understand if you don't want to talk to me anymore.
He guessed that right. I don't have time to flaky people who lack common courtesy. I flat out told him if you can't respect my time then we simply don't have anything to talk about. On to the next I go.

Online dating is like trying to navigate in a landmine. You just never know what you are going to stumble upon and when. Ready to throw the towel in but I won't.

 

[JollyGal]

1. Don't even be worried about losing him. You never had him, more importantly he never had YOU. You can do way better than this wishy washy guy. He wants you to tell him what to do?? Personally I prefer a man who knows what he wants and can come out and say it. Either he has no confidence or enjoys playing games. Neither one is a good prospect.

2. You didn't make a mistake, HE did by being so rude to you in the emails! If he really wanted a chance to woo you he should NOT have said those things. I think he may want someone he can boss around. If he's saying things like that before he even knows you, what is he going to be like when you meet him?? If the 'getting to know you' beginning stuff is 'dull' 'small talk' to him, and he's 'getting sick of it' what does that mean? That he's not interested in getting to know you?? You have to decide what is acceptable behavior towards you from a man, and what is not. Me personally, I don't put up with any mess

3. In my opinion, if you're hearing everything he said and still want to meet with him, that could be considered desperate in and of itself. But if you go in there with a positive attitude, with confidence and firm in the knowledge that HE is lucky to even be seen with you, you'll be fine. Don't even let him think you've been waiting for this date for 3 months. From what you said he may be one of those guys who thinks he's God's gift or something. If you make a connection on that first date, cool. But if he continues that condescending behavior...I don't know why anyone would sign up for more of the same.

Thank you so much for your detailed response.

@ 1 You're so right

@ 2 He did not say it about the getting to know me part... he sent me that email last week after three months of us e-mailing it came out of nowhere and was pretty weird and confusing... but still the cons outweigh the pros.

@ 3 that's why I do the rules. It brings out the weeds

I will make my decision soon but the more I think about it the more I realise that I would not accept this offline whether we had known each other for three months or three days.

Thanks once again

 

[JollyGal]

DP.................

 

[Bunny77]

Hey Sunhun!

My thoughts are that three months is too long to be communicating with a man online without him asking you for a date, despite how busy you say you are.

Has he ever tried to ask you out? If not, I honestly think you're wasting your time with him.

(Exception: This is a long-distance situation that requires a flight to see one another.)

 

[JollyGal]

Hey Sunhun!

My thoughts are that three months is too long to be communicating with a man online without him asking you for a date, despite how busy you say you are.

Has he ever tried to ask you out? If not, I honestly think you're wasting your time with him.

(Exception: This is a long-distance situation that requires a flight to see one another.)

Hi Bunny,

I know... three months is a long time that is why I thought that I had made a mistake taking the rules too far. It's different when communicating with someone online. He is in London on business and hinted that he is looking to buy a property here as his job involves travelling to London. He has said things like "I just went for a meal at... I would love to take you to this great ... restaurant one day..." "we should go there one day". He has made suggestions but has not asked me outright.

I will think about this over the weekend. I haven't responded to his latest email which complains that I email him like we're in the office lol does he expect me to say "hot man I want you now?" Lol.

I know where this is heading but maybe I don't want to think about that until next week :-(

 

[JollyGal]

Girl how do you have the time for wishy washy men because I don't. I am sorry but grown arse men should be able to step it up and really say what it is they are looking for or wish to do. He is playing games with you and you really don't have the energy for that or do you? I had one guy a few weeks ago that was beyond eager to meet me. Seemed like a nice guy. Setup a date and all. He also turned out not to be a person of his word. Stood me up not once but two times. Then had the nerve to text me a day later saying I am sorry I understand if you don't want to talk to me anymore.
He guessed that right. I don't have time to flaky people who lack common courtesy. I flat out told him if you can't respect my time then we simply don't have anything to talk about. On to the next I go.

Online dating is like trying to navigate in a landmine. You just never know what you are going to stumble upon and when. Ready to throw the towel in but I won't.

I will not give up on online dating either.

What you're saying is right. A man who knows what he wants would just say it. I have to admit I have been emailing him hoping that he will ask me out properly but he hasn't so now it has hit the 3 month mark I too am getting bored of emails. I don't feel like the 3 months have been a waste. I have learned plenty about online dating and next time I will try to put aside an hour of my time (no matter how busy) to meet the person I am speaking to.

OMG how can a guy stand you up twice and TEXT you an apology? What a joker! He was too scared to call you methinks. I like your attitude. Good on ya lady

***

 

[VelvetRain]

Okay this is hilarious. So I get a text message this evening from the guy that stood me up twice.He's like what are you doing tomorrow? I am like don't have any solid plans. He goes on and says well do you want to meet up in S.C? Mind you I live and hour and 30 minutes from his city . Basically this dude wants me to drive down to see him and I am like why? Why are you not only asking to hang out with me for the first time but to drive my behind down there too?( and yes he has transportation) You ask me out but want me to accommodate you for no reason other than laziness? I just felt like he wanted to put in zero effort because he is lazy and inconsiderate. I was like um no it's not happening sorry dude. I told him to lose my number and stop sending me text messages. Apparently he got pissed because I made a reference to him being lazy and inconsiderate of my time( he stood me up twice and flaked out on me by sending me text messages the day after standing me up) Dude texted me back and was like your an ugly arse ****** anyway. That is why I didn't want to drive up there to see your arse in the first place.

I was like whatever. if I was ugly why did you contact me and just what does that say about you? So you date ugly chicks? Some dudes are a mess when they don't get their way. His crazy behind just kept on sending me text messages long after I told him to stop. Tell me their is light at the end of the tunnel with this experience lol.

 

[PositivelyBeautiful]

VelvetRain he's an a** and doesn't deserve you. Be glad that you saw that side of him now rather than later. He obviously doesn't cope well with rejection/confrontation. His reaction is a sad reflection of his state of mind.

Believe me there is light at the end of the tunnel. I recently met two fantastic guys online after months of looking. Both are funny, attractive, kind, smart, ambitious and have no kids and I'm trying to choose between the two at the moment! Can I ask what site it is you're dating through at the moment? I was using Craigslist and met no one worth talking to but I recently took the leap with e-harmony and things are looking up!

 

[calmsensual1]

I met my boyfriend online last june. We ended up making it official in December.
Smartest and best man i've ever met.

On our first date his car broke down so we had to walk like 3 miles to my house. We didn't get home til 6am. It was a dreadfully exciting night. Anyway, going through this with him allowed us to find out a lot about each other very soon. I think that may have "helped" us

 

[JollyGal]

Congratulations calmsensual. It's nice to know that you found a lovely man online.

Your first date story is so cute

 

[JollyGal]

@ Velvet the light at the end of the tunnel. Block his number if he find another way to contact you keep a diary/log of the things he has said and when you feel like it's too much file a report for harassment.

Having said that, maybe he is contacting you to get a drastic reaction. Weird! So it's entirely up to you. blocking his number should do the trick if not then tell someone you trust and get a second opinion.

He has got some nerve contacting you like that. He should run out of steam soon.

***
update
my net "buddy" emailed me saying that he doesn't know what is going on... what should we do next?

that was 3 days ago

my decision is to leave it B. I am not going to reply. He did not ask for my number so he is not really interested. I admit that 3 months was too long to keep him waiting so now I know for next time.

 

[runwaydream]

Okay this is hilarious. So I get a text message this evening from the guy that stood me up twice.He's like what are you doing tomorrow? I am like don't have any solid plans. He goes on and says well do you want to meet up in S.C? Mind you I live and hour and 30 minutes from his city . Basically this dude wants me to drive down to see him and I am like why? Why are you not only asking to hang out with me for the first time but to drive my behind down there too?( and yes he has transportation) You ask me out but want me to accommodate you for no reason other than laziness? I just felt like he wanted to put in zero effort because he is lazy and inconsiderate. I was like um no it's not happening sorry dude. I told him to lose my number and stop sending me text messages. Apparently he got pissed because I made a reference to him being lazy and inconsiderate of my time( he stood me up twice and flaked out on me by sending me text messages the day after standing me up) Dude texted me back and was like your an ugly arse ****** anyway. That is why I didn't want to drive up there to see your arse in the first place.

I was like whatever. if I was ugly why did you contact me and just what does that say about you? So you date ugly chicks? Some dudes are a mess when they don't get their way. His crazy behind just kept on sending me text messages long after I told him to stop. Tell me their is light at the end of the tunnel with this experience lol.

if i were you i would've went ahead and told him that you'd meet up w. him in S.C....then never show up.

honestly i dont see why you kept going back and forth w. him. he isnt worth your time, or your energy. you shouldve just deleted his texts and left it at that.

either way, im glad you're done w. that loser

 

[lilsparkle825]

There is hope, ladies....it has always been pretty easy for me to meet guys when out with friends, but for some reason all three of my relationships started online.

In 12th grade (2004), I met my first boyfriend while browsing through Yahoo profiles looking at guys that lived in my city. I sent him an email telling him he was cute, then he responded. We YIMed for a few days, then started talking on the phone, sent pictures back and forth, then went on a date to the movies. We dated for 8 months.

The next guy I dated (summer of 2005) lived about 30 minutes away and sent me a message on Crushspot. I was only up there for the forums, much like LHCF. He had no pictures, no posts....NOTHING, and all I knew was he was a year older than me, but for some reason I figured he wasn't a creeper. Same process as with the first guy -- messages, then AIM, then phone calls, then a movie date. I didn't see him till the first date, but he was cuuuute . We dated for 2.5 years, but it was mostly long distance because our universities were 2 hours away, then he transferred to one 6 hours away. We were together over the summer the first year, but he played college football and was away the other two.

My current SO sent me a message through Facebook. He had been on my friends' list for a few years, but we had never really spoken. A few months ago, he sent me a random message. Same process as the first two...just a little faster this time. We now live together, since he was living in NC and I was NOT doing another long distance relationship.

Good luck, guys....just trust your instinct and don't settle.

 

[cheetarah1980]

I'm currently on Match.com and POF. I don't even look at it as online dating. You can't date someone online. Instead I view it as online meeting. We connect online and determine whether or not we'd like to meet each other in the real world. Once an in-person connection is established, then actual dating comes into play. Before that, we're just two people who are chatting to see if there's an interest. Personally, I prefer to meet sooner rather than later. If I find that I've been messaging with a man for more than 2 weeks and the possibility of meeting has yet to come up I usually know that it's probably not going anywhere.

 

[CurlyMoo]

Our first meeting was in an airport, can't get anymore public than that. Webcamed for 8 months. I didn't even show myself on cam until one month before I flew to see him. I followed my own rules, but somehow I followed just about all of what was posted. I'm a naturally cautious person.

 

[hrtbndr21]

Why did I find this message in my inbox this morning?

hi what's up im xxxxx xxxxx i stay in xxxxxx but frm xxxxxxxx. in i love sport movies.playing dominos some powling but im not that good at it . know woman no more in mt life. just me looking for coo frnd like me to kick it wit go to the movies out to eat or go to a park or a football game one day. in u lookin so cute to. but hit me up if u cco wit it xxx xxx xxxx call or text any time u like to.so what's your name what u like to do for fun in do u go a man in your life

erplexed

His profile is blank. Hot mess...