Okay so I locked my fotki...

[Country gal]

I'm not jumping on you or anything: just pointing something out. When you make your album public its for all to see and you cant stop folks from copying your links to your album and posting it wherever they want, unfortunatly. If you put it out there publicly, its for the public. You cant control what people do with your links. Now that its locked you have more control, which is better for you I think at this point.

Anyway, I'm sorry that this happened to you.

Exactly. This is why I don't have a public album anymore. There are so petty women out there that would use your pictures for their sick amusement. I just post pictures here but no longer have a public album.

 

[Country gal]

You should treat people like you would want to be treated.

All of us are not showing and telling everything that is not real about us. From makeup, nails, skin, hair (weave or relaxed), etc. Those are all enhancers aka fake aka did not naturally come that way.

These ladies graciously make their fotkis available to the rest of us b/c they trust that we will be mature and use the fotkis for their original purpose. Yes, they are public, with no locks, but they're not advertised on television either. When you take personal info. and use it spitefully, you betray the community's trust as a whole. We are trusting that you will only use any and all information you find here to encourage or benefit others in some way.

Unless you are willing to put yourself out there completely, pictures and all, you shouldn't be so eager to turn the spotlight on someone else, especially someone who had no ill-will towards you whatsoever.

What's happens in LHCF should stay in LHCF. Period.

I'm sorry that happened to you, but please don't let that deter you from continuing to be an inspiration to those who appreciate you and your efforts.

In a perfect world, this would be great. I agree with you completely. There are some women out there that like to poke fun of members on other sites. If someone is not a member here anymore than why would you forward them someone's album link?

 

[KiniKakes]

I don't think that my soror was saying that she should just offer an apology to rectify the situation, that's just what she would have expected.

Even if she didn't feel as if her actions were wrong, she could offer an apology for the effect her actions had on another person. There is nothing wrong with saying "Although I don't see what was wrong with my actions, I apologize because they hurt you."

And if she isn't remorseful because she hurt someone, I just don't know what to say.

RIGHT. Thanks for stating that more clearly, soror.

 

[JamericanGurl]

Bottom line is homegirl violated by putting you on blast. Then she threw salt to the wound by posting a link to your fotki. Its one thing to tell the secrets, then to show proof. Come on now, why did you do that? What did you have to gain?

Thats sad!

You know? This is kinda how I feel! I was kinda giving her the benefit of the doubt. Cuz I didn't understand the circumstance. But now that I've paged through all 7 pages. I just think it was uncalled for!

Maybe it's not for me to understand? BBflygirl, sorry you feel violated! But, I gotta go back to what NaturalLady and some of the others said...your fotki shoulda been on lockdown! Plus, your a cute girl and people are going to take "virtual swings" at you....Not saying this is the case....I truly think Meka said what she said cuz that's what was on her mind. I doubt if it was hate! I just don't find it appropriate...But, that's just me?

Meka about LHCF members being fickle...umm Maybe. But! Here's the thing:
We argue fuss, fight, kiss, and make up on the daily around here....But damn! Let someone try to clown us on another board! We'll ban together like an angry mob That's just how it is! yeah, I get what your saying...but still?

 

[anatomicallycorrect]

It's such a tricky issue. Personally I feel that it's up to the person wearing the weave or whatever to divulge the source and not someone else. but that's JMHO. When someone tells me my hair is pretty I will usually just tell them it's a wig. A coworker came in 3 days ago w/a cute hairstyle and I complimented her. her reply was simply "thanks" then I found out yesterday it was a wig! I didn't get mad for her for not divulging b/c that was her choice and I didn't ask her if it was a wig so I had no expectations to be told that it was. i don't think it's right to out someone else, though. If someone else compliments her I'm not going to yell out "well you know it's a wig!". If a style can be achieved with your hair and they can, who cares? Real or not many styles can't be achieved by everyone b/c they don't have the same hair texture, etc.

And posting a link to someone else's fotki, yes, technically it is a public thing but I prolly would've PM'd the link or not put it up at all. Reason being, these ladies DON'T have to make their fotki's public. They don't have to spend the time taking pictures for us. If they create their styles then they know how to do it and they could be selfish and keep the info to themselves and to do something to alienate someone or make them feel they need to lock it hurts us all. That is why so many *are* locked. I think we have to be mindful of good suffering for bad in those cases.

 

[Tresses]

We argue fuss, fight, kiss, and make up on the daily around here....But damn! Let someone try to clown us on another board! We'll banned together like an angry mob That's just how it is! yeah, I get what your saying...but still?

Exactly Jamericangurl! You know that these forums & boards are like gangs. I wear my LHCF colors proud (as well as BHM, ect.lol)

Just like Meka felt the need to stand up for her "Mac Forum Fam." Making sure that she gets her props on that board for being the "cool black chick." We stick together as well. Because if you remember Meka kept stating "how would you feel if it was someone on this board that asked that question. or how would you reacted if she wasn't white?"

Just because its the net don't mean squat! If I let one person know something about me, that doesn't come with a pass if you know what I mean (even though this isn't reality sometimes.) And even though you have to take extra steps sometimes to protect yourself online by pw'ing your fotki's, homegirl still put her on blast in the first place.

JMHO

 

[Country gal]

And what is she (meka) isn't sorry? Should she just give a fake apology just to make Bmore feel better?

Though I don't see what the big deal is about this whole situation, I don't think she owes no one an apology if she feel it isn't justified. There is NOTHING wrong with standing by what you believe, be it at the disgrace of others or not. If you don't stand for something you will fall for everything...

This reminds me of elem. school. If you hurt someone's feeling apologize to them and make it all better. Pure B.S.

I agree. If Meka doesn't feel sorry than she should not apologize. It would come off sounding like my son who says he is sorry just to shut me up but the apology is not sincere.

I am not really taking sounds on the situation. I am speaking to the bigger issue in the hair community concerning albums. Yes we do put ourselves out there for the world to view our albums but it doesn't give the world a right to put our pics or links on other sites without permission. I have a big issue concerning photo rights.

 

[Radianthealth]

Just wanted to put in my 2 cents.

I understand where you both are coming from. On one hand it is no ones business on the other I think more people "coming out" about their hair being weave will make it less of a taboo and help others realize that some types of beauty aren't so unattainable.


On a side note Meka your baby at the bottom of your siggy is one of the most beautiful babies I have seen in a long time. I hope my baby is that cute

And I am sorry that any feeling were hurt. You are beautiful girl with weave and I am sure you are just as beautiful without.

 

[Tresses]

on the other I think more people "coming out" about their hair being weave will make it less of a taboo and help others realize that some types of beauty aren't so unattainable.

I feel that trim, but lets be realistic here. Everybody and their momma (literally) are wearing weaves now. And to be even more realistic, white people are wearing it more then black people now-a-days so that couldn've been anyone's motivation for telling ones secrets.

I even seen some omen's at a BSS the other day. Its on T.V., in the magazines, ect. Point being, one doesn't have to tell another that weaves exists because its known and one doesn't have to tell another that "pssst. it's a weave."

 

[glamazon386]

I agree. If Meka doesn't feel sorry than she should not apologize. It would come off sounding like my son who says he is sorry just to shut me up but the apology is not sincere.

I am not really taking sounds on the situation. I am speaking to the bigger issue in the hair community concerning albums. Yes we do put ourselves out there for the world to view our albums but it doesn't give the world a right to put our pics or links on other sites without permission. I have a big issue concerning photo rights.

This was exactly my point. I was about the picture link. What if someone took the picture of Meka's baby from her signature and posted it somewhere else saying it was their child or something? Would there be a problem then? I would assume that she posted that picture thinking that no one would fool with it. To be honest, I didn't realize that people actually even looked at my fotki here recently. And I didn't realize how many people here were tracking my progess until you made mention of it here in this thread. That makes me feel good ladies. Idk why the thought never crossed my mind though because there are quite a few fotkis I stalk myself. Kinikakes is one of my favs. On occasion I would get pms from members with questions, but that was it. I didn't anyone was really paying little old me any attention.

 

[Country gal]

Exactly Jamericangurl! You know that these forums & boards are like gangs. I wear my LHCF colors proud (as well as BHM, ect.lol)

JMHO

Gril, I wear mine with proud. What are our gang colors? My weapon of choice is the denman brush.

 

[Allandra]

Another reason why I won't make my Fotki album public.

 

[Tresses]

Gril, I wear mine with proud. What are our gang colors? My weapon of choice is the denman brush.

Crazygirl
I don't know what are 'gang colors' are.... I guess it would be just the logo LHCF.lol But you was feeling me right

LONGHAIRCAREFOOOORUUUM (sounds like westsigheed) ..throwing up gangs signs...

 

[glamazon386]

Crazygirl
I don't know what are 'gang colors' are.... I guess it would be just the logo LHCF.lol But you was feeling me right

LONGHAIRCAREFOOOORUUUM (sounds like westsigheed) ..throwing up gangs signs...

hahahaha Maybe they could be the forum colors? One thing I did learn from this is to lock my fotki! Oh yeah and if anyone just HAS to know, my hair in the picture below is a half wig.

 

[*Frisky*]

Actually, Im not the type to go back and forth about any issue. I could care less that no one here likes or agrees with me. Like you said, it's just the net. I said what I wanted to say to you already, no need to keep coming back and going to battle. It's just the net. Would you have been this upset if the person who "outed" you was really the girl you told it was your hair. What if she did search for you on google? And I am not a hater. I have no reason to be. The weave is pretty, and I said that but I just thought that when people asked questions about hair, people responded truthfully whether it was on a board about makeup or whatever. But I guess not.....
If you thought her question was rude, you could have chose not to answer it and just kept it about makeup but you chose to get an attitude with the girl for having the audacity to think it was not yours b/c you were black. That was not her intention. Everytime a woman of color gets asked about her hair by someone who is not black or another minority, they get pissed. But with the net the way that it is, anyone can find out anything about anybody. Would you have been upset had I asked you whether it was your hair? I doubt it..........
But then in the thread everyone kept telling you how beautiful your hair was and then you proceeded to tell them that they would not be happy with it b/c it is a frizz ball so they really should not wish they had your hair. But it is yours if you bought it and that is ok. I wear weave also, but when people ask me if I wear a weave, I tell them the truth. But I digress

This board is so fickle at times, we will talk about whether Jada's hair is real or not, put people on blast, and everything else, but when it is one of us, it's a problem. I could care less what people say about me on the net, b/c just as you said, you will probably never meet any of them anyway. But I don't know why some of you ladies pick some people to death (Lenzi's Request, doubting people's hair lenght b/c they don't have photos, etc.) but get mad when one of you are supposedly brought out about something. You say LHCF is family, so why lie? Regardless of where you are.....

I think this is the point...the discussion was between bmoreflygirl and someone else...not you. You were a third party in this and I think that is why you are getting frowned upon. Even if you knew it was weave, you probably should have kept it to yourself. IMO

 

[JamericanGurl]

Exactly Jamericangurl! You know that these forums & boards are like gangs. I wear my LHCF colors proud (as well as BHM, ect.lol)

Just like Meka felt the need to stand up for her "Mac Forum Fam." Making sure that she gets her props on that board for being the "cool black chick." We stick together as well. Because if you remember Meka kept stating "how would you feel if it was someone on this board that asked that question. or how would you reacted if she wasn't white?"

Just because its the net don't mean squat! If I let one person know something about me, that doesn't come with a pass if you know what I mean (even though this isn't reality sometimes.) And even though you have to take extra steps sometimes to protect yourself online by pw'ing your fotki's, homegirl still put her on blast in the first place.

JMHO

Ya feel me! Doesn't matter what I say to you on here...But away from dis piece ...Nobody betta not say ****! I'll cut somebody (virtually).
You kinda touched on my bigger problem with this and I know for some it's not an issue. So, lemme repeat...it's my issue!

I just don't like it when "our" business is put out there like that. Granted everyone wears weave yadda yadda and it's a great protective style. But, white folx get extensions and black women get weaves. What's the difference?
Well, Extensions are a fashion statement...Weaves are for the bald headed black woman (not true) Semantics is a ****

 

[*Frisky*]

Actually the girl said "ohmigod your hair is beautiful and I will die from jealousy if it is all your, curly like that". I actually know the girl who asked her and she is Samoan and always asks me about weaves b/c she wants one herself. But anyway...........

Well if you know her then you should have called her on the phone or sent her an email and told her it was weave. Not publicly the way you did.

 

[glamazon386]

Ya feel me! Doesn't matter what I say to you on here...But away from dis piece ...Nobody betta not say ****! I'll cut somebody (virtually).
You kinda touched on my bigger problem with this and I know for some it's not an issue. So, lemme repeat...it's my issue!

I just don't like it when "our" business is put out there like that. Granted everyone wears weave yadda yadda and it's a great protective style. But, white folx get extensions and black women get weaves. What's the difference?
Well, Extensions are a fashion statement...Weaves are for the bald headed black woman (not true) Semantics is a ****

EXACTLY. That's why I don't talk about weave in mixed company. Too much trouble.

 

[shelli4018]

I just don't like it when "our" business is put out there like that. Granted everyone wears weave yadda yadda and it's a great protective style. But, white folx get extensions and black women get weaves. What's the difference?
Well, Extensions are a fashion statement...Weaves are for the bald headed black woman (not true) Semantics is a ****

Oh....you done started somethin' now!

 

[JamericanGurl]

Oh....you done started somethin' now!

I'm sorry But that's how I feel

Everything we do is twisted into something negative it seems?

 

[JamericanGurl]

EXACTLY. That's why I don't talk about weave in mixed company. Too much trouble.

Yeah, I kinda figured this was one of the issues

 

[Poohbear]

I'm confused... did bmoreflyygirl lie about having a weave? Is that why meka put her on blast?

 

[PaperClip]

Hello.... as I've browsed through this thread, it seems like the major issue here was an unapproved disclosure of information by another person about somebody's hair, specifically the usage of a weave. Ok. Whether that disclosure was intentional or not, it certainly wasn't a wise or nice thing to happen. I hope that issue between the two involved parties is resolved amicably.

My question here is about privacy. Is something really private if that person speaks or posts pictures about themselves (not necessarily hair but anything) and talks about "how they did so-and-so to get their hair to grow" (but they have a weave) or "this is how I stay fit" (but they had gastric bypass surgery) and yet when somebody questions them about their weave or their surgery (not from rumors, but actual sources of information), then the person wants to deny that fact? To me, this comes off as being misleading, deceptive.

This is my general question leading off from the incident that happened here. I don't know anything about this situation other than what's been mentioned here, but it did generate some thought about privacy. Something may be personal information but not necessarily private information, esp. if the person puts it out there....

 

[shelli4018]

JamericanGirl,
I think you're absolutely right. I dunno, I may be wrong....but I think some women abuse weaves because they don't have the tools, knowledge or resources to manage their own hair. That's where the "shame/embarassment" comes from. And let's face it, this inability to get our hair together is an ugly secret we try to keep to ourselves. That's why boards like LHCF are so important. We're trying to undo generations of "abuse" one head at a time.

It's assumed that white women don't have issues with hair growth. So their "extensions" aren't viewed as a crutch. Supposedly it isn't covering up some dark dirty secret.

Note: I do think there's a difference between using weaves as a protective style versus covering something up.

 

[MzTami]

I'm confused... did bmoreflyygirl lie about having a weave? Is that why meka put her on blast?

Exactly...bmoreflygirl link to her foki was posted on the makeup forum when a white chick ask her if it was her hair. bmoreflygirl didn't reveal that it was a weave, so Meka posted the link to her fotki and told the white girl that it was a weave.

 

[meka]

Well if you know her then you should have called her on the phone or sent her an email and told her it was weave. Not publicly the way you did.

See since your werent on the board to read it Marie, you dont know the whole story. Actually I pm'd her and she put her on blast.!!!!

 

[JamericanGurl]

JamericanGirl,
I think you're absolutely right. I dunno, I may be wrong....but I think some women abuse weaves because they don't have the tools, knowledge or resources to manage their own hair. That's where the "shame/embarassment" comes from. And let's face it, this inability to get our hair together is an ugly secret we try to keep to ourselves. That's why boards like LHCF are so important. We're trying to undo generations of "abuse" one head at a time.

It's assumed that white women don't have issues with hair growth. So their "extensions" aren't viewed as a crutch. Supposedly it isn't covering up some dark dirty secret.

Note: I do think there's a difference between using weaves as a protective style versus covering something up.

I think so too....Everything you said!
SpinOff: it's kinda like when this girl on another board said her hair was 3a, then a pic of her fotki album was nabbed and she really had 4f hair. Now I chuckled up a storm...Because it was kinda funny...but I was I wrong for laughing...Dead wrong! The funny thing is once I saw her album long before the inccident. I knew her hair was not 3c, but it wasn't my place to bust her out!

 

[meka]

I'm confused... did bmoreflyygirl lie about having a weave? Is that why meka put her on blast?

Yes, she lied and I actually pm'd the girl the info and SHE put it up on the board!

 

[Poohbear]

See since your werent on the board to read it Marie, you dont know the whole story. Actually I pm'd her and she put her on blast.!!!!

so after you had PM'ed her, was she actually telling people it was her real hair, or was she just not disclosing that it was a weave???

 

[meka]

I'm not embarassed that my hair was a weave. I'm currently wearing a weave to give my hair a rest and to help me reach my goals. Some people think it's because I'm baldheaded or whatever but I don't pay them no mind. Once I reach my goal, they'll see that it paid off. Actually I wasn't embarrassed at all I was just pissed that someone went out of their way to do that and invaded my privacy in the process. My hair is none of their business. I just didn't feel like the makeup forum needed to know about my hair. We were not there to discuss hair. If it had been a white girl posting would anyone have asked if that was her real hair? I seriously doubt it. Like I said before, someone's hair is a personal matter and I don't discuss it in mixed company period. Just like when white people at work make comments I just smile and nod. I don't feel like explaining to them the specifics because then it turns into a ton of questions. So its not real? Well what is it? Well how is it in there? Well how much does it cost? Can you take it off? I don't feel like going through all of that.

This hair is a unique find for me and is a part of my look for modeling. Therefore I don't want to reveal info about it because I don't want other people stealing my look. If they find it out on their own, then that's one thing. But I'm not giving up all my secrets. I don't think that's in my best interests. And with this particular hair, people ask me about it ALL DAY LONG. I'm just tired of answering questions about it. I just smile and nod so to speak. I'm guessing that people just can't figure it out. It's not a dead giveaway that it's a weave because the front blends so well. My own brother asked me the other day and he knows damn well what my hair looks like. Personally, I can spot a weave a mile away even if it is a good one. But I would never say anything about it out loud to the person. I would just compliment them by saying their hair looks nice or something like that. That's just rude.

So unless it is someone here I don't reveal info about my hair. And people generally don't ask if it is real upfront like I stated before. They'll just say oh your hair is pretty. It's not about me being ashamed its about me not wanting people all in my business. Wouldn't you be offended if someone walked up to you and asked if you were wearing a push up bra or something? IMO, that's personal info. And if someone chooses not to reveal that personal info about themself, then that is their prerogative. The whole point of this was that she invaded my privacy. Not that she outed me. She didn't just tell the woman oh that's a weave she gave her the link to my fokti which the woman then posted and said something like well I just assumed because here (link) you have galleries with your real hair. She didn't leave it at oh she has a weave. If that woman was so interested in a weave, why wasn't she just directed to the forum or why didn't she pm me and ask me about it personally? If she hadn't given me that backwards ass comment maybe I would have given her the info. She never asked me for it. If someone came at you side ways and rude about your hair would you be so willing to give up information? I don't think so. It's all in your approach. When you want to know something or want something from someone you have to be nice right? Do you think that if someone asked Beyonce about wearing a lacefront wig on tv she would say yeah I'm wearing a wig and I bought it at such and such place. Nope. The industry isn't even talking about those wigs yet. They're still saying they're wearing weaves. Or what about hair mags who don't say the women in the pictures are wearing weaves. We don't have a problem with that do we? No. You don't discuss weaves freely in public and especially in mixed company. It's still a little taboo even though many people wear them.

Nothing positive has come out of this situation. Well actually, I take that back. I took my frustration out on my motorcycle photo shoot last night and my pictures came out fab! I'm just waiting for the edited copies to come back. So I guess I can say thanks to Meka for that one.

I am happy that I helped you and I know they look wonderful!