Oh goodness, seems like I never learn...

What should I do?

  • Forget it, drop the crush and enjoy the friendship/study relationship

    Votes: 22 41.5%

  • Flirt back a little more

    Votes: 17 32.1%

  • Just tell him how you feel

    Votes: 2 3.8%

  • Wait it out and see if anything develops, but keep options open

    Votes: 11 20.8%

  • Other

    Votes: 1 1.9%
  • Total voters
    53
B

BroadstreetBully

New Member
I know. If a guy is really interested in you he'll make a move, ask you out, whatever. He won't just stare at you, flirt with you, make little comments without actually taking it to the next level and trying to establish a little more than a friendship.

He's my study partner. We have multiple classes together so I see him quite often. I'm very into him but my intuition tells me that he isn't that into me. He makes flirty comments and calls me "sweetie, honey, baby, etc.." but it has not gone beyond that.

I never learn. Should I move on? Of course my crazy friends keep telling me that I should attempt to open up and be a little more obvious about my interest in him, but things always crash and burn when I get bold and try to make the first move.

So what do you ladies think?
 
I voted flirt back a little more, but there is more to that. I know exactly what you mean. I'd be into guys as well and look a fool when I find out they're uninterested lol.

You never want to enter something two-footed. So yeah, flirt back a bit, but be cautious. Lower your guard, but don't lower it to the point where someone can take advantage of you, manipulate you, etc. Certainly don't be a pushover. Stay strong, and show him who you really are. The feelings should be reciprocated.
 
Never wait anything out... I would suggest more subtle hints... more flirtation if nothing comes of it, MOVE ON.... If a guy wants you he will come af5ter you.... point blank period...

maybe even start dating other guys, so it doesnt look like you are holdinag out for him...
 
I voted flirt back a little more, but there is more to that. I know exactly what you mean. I'd be into guys as well and look a fool when I find out they're uninterested lol.

You never want to enter something two-footed. So yeah, flirt back a bit, but be cautious. Lower your guard, but don't lower it to the point where someone can take advantage of you, manipulate you, etc. Certainly don't be a pushover. Stay strong, and show him who you really are. The feelings should be reciprocated.
 
I voted flirt back a little more, but there is more to that. I know exactly what you mean. I'd be into guys as well and look a fool when I find out they're uninterested lol.

You never want to enter something two-footed. So yeah, flirt back a bit, but be cautious. Lower your guard, but don't lower it to the point where someone can take advantage of you, manipulate you, etc. Certainly don't be a pushover. Stay strong, and show him who you really are. The feelings should be reciprocated.
 
I voted flirt back a little more, but there is more to that. I know exactly what you mean. I'd be into guys as well and look a fool when I find out they're uninterested lol.

You never want to enter something two-footed. So yeah, flirt back a bit, but be cautious. Lower your guard, but don't lower it to the point where someone can take advantage of you, manipulate you, etc. Certainly don't be a pushover. Stay strong, and show him who you really are. The feelings should be reciprocated.
 
I'd keep it as it is. You already know the answer. Men like to feel they've caught you, not the other way around. You already said you don't think he's as into you and that's a mouthful of gut honesty.
 
i voted flirt back a little more...but this is what i mean. flirt in a very fiesty, sarcastic, 'you can't have me' kind of way. don't be all googly eyed with him. don't act available. date other guys, or at least lead him to believe that you always have plans. skip some of your study dates b/c 'something came up'.

basically, if he hasn't asked you out, it's b/c his interest level isn't that high. if you become less available, seem less attainable AND he STILL doesn't ask you out. then, consider yourself certain that he's not that into you. but, you haven't lost anything to get that info.
 
redRiot said:
I know. If a guy is really interested in you he'll make a move, ask you out, whatever. He won't just stare at you, flirt with you, make little comments without actually taking it to the next level and trying to establish a little more than a friendship.

He's my study partner. We have multiple classes together so I see him quite often. I'm very into him but my intuition tells me that he isn't that into me. He makes flirty comments and calls me "sweetie, honey, baby, etc.." but it has not gone beyond that.

I never learn. Should I move on? Of course my crazy friends keep telling me that I should attempt to open up and be a little more obvious about my interest in him, but things always crash and burn when I get bold and try to make the first move.

So what do you ladies think?
Click to expand...

I'd put it out there once. "...after all of this studying I could go for a _____ (good glass of wine, cocktail, cheeseburger, whatever) and see if he takes the bait.

I'm almost leaning towards "he's not that into you" simply because he's had AMPLE opportunity. Unless you talk about other guys around him or have mentioned "dates" with other people. But there's a part of me that thinks that in HIS mind he might be getting mixed signals from you...

I'd put it out there once, see if he takes the bait - if no cigar I'd move on.
 
Please don't put yourself out there only to look like an idiot in the end. (I mean that in the NICEST way possible)

If this young man had any intentions beyond friendship and flirting he would act on it. You don't need to nudge him in the right direction. If he flirts and you feel like flirting back I think thats ok but don't think that his flirting will lead to something else. Well, thats not to say that it can't but please not get your hopes up. Men like to flirt, its a game to them. Well women do too but you get my point.
 
Men go for what they want. If he decides you are the one, he will come for you. Meanwhile, get other activities so you are not so caught up in wondering and waiting and looking forward to your study sessions with him.
 
I say flirt a little more since you are interested. But don't do anything more. Call me old fashioned but I feel like if a guy is interested, he will eventually make a move....you should not even have to flirt.
 
i think a lady here said, "never make a man your priority when you're only his option". um, well right now, you're not even his option. yet you're putting a lot of effort into trying to figure out his actions. i've been in the same situation as you a number of times. a guy will drop a lot of hints and i'll be hooked on him yet he'll never make any moves. the guys who really wanted a relationship did not waste time asking me out.

i had to learn that unless a guy was going to approach me and make his intentions crystal clear that i wasn't going to care or waste time thinking about what could be. i'm too old for that "hot and cold"/"mixed signals" mess (yes, at 20 :look:). the truth is that until he expresses some genuine interest (i.e - asking you on a date etc) instead of just flirting (something many guys do even to girls they have zero interest in), nothing will really come of it. don't waste your time.
 
redRiot said:
I know. If a guy is really interested in you he'll make a move, ask you out, whatever. He won't just stare at you, flirt with you, make little comments without actually taking it to the next level and trying to establish a little more than a friendship.

He's my study partner. We have multiple classes together so I see him quite often. I'm very into him but my intuition tells me that he isn't that into me. He makes flirty comments and calls me "sweetie, honey, baby, etc.." but it has not gone beyond that.

I never learn. Should I move on? Of course my crazy friends keep telling me that I should attempt to open up and be a little more obvious about my interest in him, but things always crash and burn when I get bold and try to make the first move.

So what do you ladies think?
Click to expand...

Hey Red!!! What's up girl? :wave:

Is this the same guy you were talking about in your class that always stares at you?? I could be mistaken, but I thought I remember you talking about some guy in your class that always stares at you. :look:

<<<I aplogize in advance for the lengthy response, but I just had to get this information out here because I'm in this situation right now!>>>
Anywhoo.... I agree with the other ladies... I would flirt, but more so in an UNattainable way. Like, "you can't have this" type of way. Not in a: "Wow....you are SOOOO smart!" or "my, what big muscles you have!!" type of way. :nono: I know in the past that guys feel more comfortable (at least YOUNG guys) with girls who flirt in a bantering back and forth type of way. Like for example, he may tease you, and instead of just laughing or smiling, you give it right back to him in a playful way. ;)

Personally, I'm not going to go out on a limb and say whether this guy is interested or not (because I can't read his mind!), but I WILL say that if a guy is REALLY interested in you, he WILL eventually make a move. It doesn't matter how "shy" this guy is.

I'll give you two examples:

Example 1: I too have a guy "Friend" (I've mentioned him several times on this board already) who I'm in "love" with, but have already started moving on from him due to his "wishy-washy" behavior. I'm in the same situation as you REd! He's a flirt, and so he and I will flirt sometimes, or he'll make jokes w/me. He'll even invite me places/will call and text me at times to hang out. He even gets JEALOUS when other guys seem interested in me. He'd always be hot and cold with his interest towards me. Talk about mixed signals!! BUT!! The thing is, I always felt like nothing ever really progressed beyond a casual (and I do mean CASUAL) friendship. We don't talk about our dreams, fears, hopes, aspirations, etc. You know, things a NORMAL friend would talk to you about?? I gave him ample of chances. Not only that, but I made a fool out of myself trying to let him know I was interested. :nono: How silly I was! :lol: I have now long-since started to forget about him. Plus, I already know that he's interested in another girl. He's ACTIVELY pursuing and dating her, so I know that he's not "Shy". Trust me ladies, if you ever feel like things just never really "progress" with a guy, then it's safe to say that he's either not that interested, just likes attention, or is dating someone else! I was always hanging and waiting around in the wings hoping that he'd dump his gf and at least give me a "chance". HA!! No more of that wishful thinking! She can HAVE him! I have tried to keep it strictly casual w/him and keep my focus away from him in order to protect my heart, but he'll get upset if I don't acknowledge him!! Imagine that!! :mad: So yeah, bottom line....if you feel in the pit of your stomach that he's not interested in you, then you can probably bet that he's not that interested in you. Sometimes you just KNOW.

Example 2: There's this other guy that I know that is quite shy. I don't like him like that, but I was always nice to him. He would act like he didn't see me, or couldn't look me in the eye much, and would actually give me the impression that he hated me! I know I'm a nice person, so I knew it wasn't me. Turns out, I started hearing whisperings from his friends that he "liked me", or people would say that when they would talk to him, my name would always pop up out of the blue. Hmmmm... I just kept being nice to him. I NEVER called him. NEVER texted him. I only invited him out with a GROUP of friends like twice, and all of a sudden, now the guy is inviting me places, calling me/texting me, etc. sometimes. I KNOW that he likes me. And my point is, that if a guy really likes you, he'll FIND a way to let you know EVEN IF he's "Shy". You'll hear something from his friends, or people will be wanting to hook you up with him. You'll sense SOMETHING ladies! Trust me on this!! He'll call you, he'll text you, he'll want to spend TIME with you, and you'll get the sense that if you show him more of your feelings, he WON'T run away. The most important sign of all: Things will progress. Why?? Because he wants it to.

So, if you get the feeling that things aren't progressing with this guy, or you're doing all the work, it's because he doesn't want things to progress too far. He's just having fun flirting. :rolleyes:
 
PS--I just also wanted to add that I've been RE-reading my book "The Rules" so that it will help me with my guy friend, and guys in general. ESPECIALLY guys that I'm interested in! lol* It seems all caution gets thrown to the wind when it's a guy that I'm interested in! :giggle:

I used to think this book was just nonsense when I first bought it, but now that I've been re-reading it, I now see that this book is the truth! Guys really do WANT a challenge!

Don't pursue men ladies... Make yourself open to be pursued, but please don't pursue... I never have seen it work out well for the ladies. :(
 
**kandi** said:
So, true! This is my rule of thumb.
Click to expand...

Yep! :yep: It was a tough lesson even I had to learn, but I eventually learned it!

Even little things that we wouldn't even consider as "pursuing" is pursuing in a man's eyes. He may not be able to put his finger on exactly why he's not interested in you, or why he lost interest in you, but usually it's due to either pursuing him, or being TOO available or eager for his his love &/attention.
 
Crystalicequeen123 said:
Hey Red!!! What's up girl? :wave:

Is this the same guy you were talking about in your class that always stares at you?? I could be mistaken, but I thought I remember you talking about some guy in your class that always stares at you. :look:

<<<I aplogize in advance for the lengthy response, but I just had to get this information out here because I'm in this situation right now!>>>
Anywhoo.... I agree with the other ladies... I would flirt, but more so in an UNattainable way. Like, "you can't have this" type of way. Not in a: "Wow....you are SOOOO smart!" or "my, what big muscles you have!!" type of way. :nono: I know in the past that guys feel more comfortable (at least YOUNG guys) with girls who flirt in a bantering back and forth type of way. Like for example, he may tease you, and instead of just laughing or smiling, you give it right back to him in a playful way. ;)

Personally, I'm not going to go out on a limb and say whether this guy is interested or not (because I can't read his mind!), but I WILL say that if a guy is REALLY interested in you, he WILL eventually make a move. It doesn't matter how "shy" this guy is.

I'll give you two examples:

Example 1: I too have a guy "Friend" (I've mentioned him several times on this board already) who I'm in "love" with, but have already started moving on from him due to his "wishy-washy" behavior. I'm in the same situation as you REd! He's a flirt, and so he and I will flirt sometimes, or he'll make jokes w/me. He'll even invite me places/will call and text me at times to hang out. He even gets JEALOUS when other guys seem interested in me. He'd always be hot and cold with his interest towards me. Talk about mixed signals!! BUT!! The thing is, I always felt like nothing ever really progressed beyond a casual (and I do mean CASUAL) friendship. We don't talk about our dreams, fears, hopes, aspirations, etc. You know, things a NORMAL friend would talk to you about?? I gave him ample of chances. Not only that, but I made a fool out of myself trying to let him know I was interested. :nono: How silly I was! :lol: I have now long-since started to forget about him. Plus, I already know that he's interested in another girl. He's ACTIVELY pursuing and dating her, so I know that he's not "Shy". Trust me ladies, if you ever feel like things just never really "progress" with a guy, then it's safe to say that he's either not that interested, just likes attention, or is dating someone else! I was always hanging and waiting around in the wings hoping that he'd dump his gf and at least give me a "chance". HA!! No more of that wishful thinking! She can HAVE him! I have tried to keep it strictly casual w/him and keep my focus away from him in order to protect my heart, but he'll get upset if I don't acknowledge him!! Imagine that!! :mad: So yeah, bottom line....if you feel in the pit of your stomach that he's not interested in you, then you can probably bet that he's not that interested in you. Sometimes you just KNOW.

Example 2: There's this other guy that I know that is quite shy. I don't like him like that, but I was always nice to him. He would act like he didn't see me, or couldn't look me in the eye much, and would actually give me the impression that he hated me! I know I'm a nice person, so I knew it wasn't me. Turns out, I started hearing whisperings from his friends that he "liked me", or people would say that when they would talk to him, my name would always pop up out of the blue. Hmmmm... I just kept being nice to him. I NEVER called him. NEVER texted him. I only invited him out with a GROUP of friends like twice, and all of a sudden, now the guy is inviting me places, calling me/texting me, etc. sometimes. I KNOW that he likes me. And my point is, that if a guy really likes you, he'll FIND a way to let you know EVEN IF he's "Shy". You'll hear something from his friends, or people will be wanting to hook you up with him. You'll sense SOMETHING ladies! Trust me on this!! He'll call you, he'll text you, he'll want to spend TIME with you, and you'll get the sense that if you show him more of your feelings, he WON'T run away. The most important sign of all: Things will progress. Why?? Because he wants it to.

So, if you get the feeling that things aren't progressing with this guy, or you're doing all the work, it's because he doesn't want things to progress too far. He's just having fun flirting. :rolleyes:
Click to expand...


The Bolded is so True and I will tell you this read Why do Men Love B@tche! As well as Catch Him and Keep Him. Go to U Tube's ask a G TV I put it out on a thread some where! These books I am feeling and they do work!:yep: ! When you start speaking to guy and acting and reacting to a guy a certian way! Look, in my own dating and mating I am before and after very confident, bold, sexy,sassy etc... I appeal to the mans emotional side as well as physical and too me it is all about Attraction. Once me and the guy hook up then I still keep it going and do not stop!
Remember to Love your self first and take care of you while having fun in the process and saying the truth and being honest with the man he will be drawn to you! Once you put something out there to a special guy you do not have to do it over and over etc.... Do just enough and then Fall Way back talk to other guys do not even notice him have intense conversations! When you speak to him just be honest and have conversations that place questions in his court and not in your court. Do it in a flirty way b/c when a woman pursues a man to the point she will be and appear very needy and a nag these things men hate! Have it together you do not need a man to make you happy have a glow, appeal , aura about you when you so men not just him will be so drawn to you in a good way and not just the loser types. It takes time it can be mastered!:yep: I know b/c after a conversation I had with a guy a week ago we have been with each other 7 days non-stop:yep: Having fun outside of the box! I am keeping it up and falling back. If he wants me that bad like he does now! I just allow him to be the man! I am having fun in the process and not chaning a thing!:yep:
I will post the link for you shortly!
 
This is my input, considering the fact I've never had a boyfriend but through observation: Even if you was mean and showed no interested, if a guy wants to be with you, you will know.
If he is not showing strong interest now, why even bother?Whenever the relationship gets rocky or if you guys get married and encounter a hardship, he won't be willing and trying hard to make it work. You want a guy that really really wants you so that no matter what, he always be willing to hang on strong for love.
If you show interest first, then he will have the power over you. Some men would rather the women do the chasing so that he can be in the position to reject the female
Some men like to flirt, see if he flirts with other girls also. It makes them feel desirable.
My opinion, don't do anything, don't even flirt. Be yourself, until he stops playing around, then you can open up..a little.
 
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