non black men who have race issues yet continually date black women

[CaraWalker]

my ex was indian and i would say race issues were probably about 60% of the reason why we broke up. to put a long story short, he was one of those indians that coveted whiteness, and eventually i came to believe that if i were white certain parts of our relationship would have been very different. i think he would have been breaking his neck to marry me if he didnt have all these weird issues with race. so i broke up with him. i dont want to condone his behavior, or the fact that as the red flags emerged i didnt get out sooner, but everything else in our relationship was perfect.

the weird thing is now that weve broken up hes dating another black girl and dont even ask me how i know this (BECAUSE HE SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH PHOTOS ATTACHED BRAGGING ABOUT HOW HAPPY HE IS ) and i know damn well all those issues didnt go away, so why is he inflicting it on another black girl? a cynical part of me believes its because he can get higher quality/more attractive black women than white women which is his real preference. and now that ive softened him up on the race issues maybe he thinks theyre gone erplexed and it wont be a problem this time? or that SHE will be less willing to point them out, or not notice.

i feel like on some level hes just trying to replace me. it just doesnt make sense to me.

what do you think about guys like this?

 

[Live.Laugh.Love]

Looks at the calendar, yup Today is Sunday!

Let the fun begin....*pulls up a chair*

 

[CaraWalker]

this is not a sunday post!

i would have posted it in ot if it were

 

[MzLady78]

What does the new girl look like?

 

[CaraWalker]

so tempted to post her photo. but for all i know she may be a member.

dark skinned jamaican. looks like an african girl, refined features. medium height/build. looks like kinda big jugs. by contrast i am more medium colored with a rounder face. body wise we are about the same size though i would say my figure has better curves. from what i can tell anyway.

overall i would say i'm more attractive. let me get an objective source i could trust to send photos

 

[MzLady78]

so tempted to post her photo. but for all i know she may be a member.

dark skinned jamaican. looks like an african girl, refined features. medium height/build. looks like kinda big jugs. by contrast i am more medium colored with a rounder face. body wise we are about the same size though i would say my figure has better curves. from what i can tell anyway.

overall i would say i'm more attractive. let me get an objective source i could trust to send photos

I believe you. I just thought you were gonna say she was lighter than you.

IDK, it doesn't make much sense to me either. I do know that although I try not to generalize, this board has really turned me off to Indian men. I feel like I've read nothing but horror stories from women who have dated them.

 

[ThickHair]

With all due respect, you seem to be more PO'd that he is with another AA women than his race issues. If she is a smart woman she will figure out, maybe not. Either way dude is no longer your problem.

That's what I am getting from your post. You compare yourself to her.

 

[CaraWalker]

yes, that does bother me. i never said it didnt. that is the entire point of this thread.

when we broke up i actually told him not to ever date another black woman again and inflict his mess on them. i feel sorry for her because i relate to the position shes in, and i wish she were smarter than i had been but shes probably going to get it even worse.

so thanks for the typical "trying to turn it around on the op" post but it really doesnt apply here. he can have his race issues all he wants just leave us out of it. so you are right, i do care more about him continuing to date black women than his issues therein itself.

 

[intellectualuva]

I have/(soon to be had since hes under investigation and will probably be fired) Asian (Korean) coworker like this. He dates black women, but has serious race issues. Always assumes the worse about black people. Truly believes white women are the most beautiful and perfect. Doesn't date Asian because "their standards are too high for what you get." I don't know why he doesn't just go out and get what he wants. I wish i could clue his gf in on the awful things he says about her. Just lewd things. With all the things ive had to check him in terms of black people or his comments, I know he's had to have said some awful things at home. He's always on that "but you shouldn't be offended because you don't act/talk black" stuff and maybe she's ok with that.

 

[ThickHair]

yes, that does bother me. i never said it didnt. that is the entire point of this thread.

when we broke up i actually told him not to ever date another black woman again and inflict his mess on them. i feel sorry for her because i relate to the position shes in, and i wish she were smarter than i had been but shes probably going to get it even worse.

so thanks for the typical "trying to turn it around on the op" post but it really doesnt apply here.

OP I just went by what you posted since I do not know what is in your head. The only feelings you posted were that you feel he was trying to replace you.

I concede.

 

[CaraWalker]

I have/(soon to be had since hes under investigation and will probably be fired) Asian (Korean) coworker like this. He dates black women, but has serious race issues. Always assumes the worse about black people. Truly believes white women are the most beautiful and perfect. Doesn't date Asian because "their standards are too high for what you get." I don't know why he doesn't just go out and get what he wants. I wish i could clue his gf in on the awful things he says about her. Just lewd things. With all the things ive had to check him in terms of black people or his comments, I know he's had to have said some awful things at home. He's always on that "but you shouldn't be offended because you don't act/talk black" stuff and maybe she's ok with that.

yes! i said the exact same thing! i was like, why dont you just admit to yourself that [stupid, immature, damaged, and ugly white women] is what you really want and what validates you and stop trying to "do the right thing" by dating normal women? i guess its a form of denial and they're trying to sort of punish themselves out of their perversions and/or they know their preference for whiteness is not kosher.

 

[Renewed1]

I'm assuming that he hadn't found a white woman that would be attracted to him. But also on the flip side he's not attracted to the women in his own race.

 

[ambergirl]

I actually think this is more common then people think. A man with a weak ego will look for women he thinks he's better than. So for this dude seems like he's choosing black women for that reason.

 

[intellectualuva]

I actually think this is more common then people think. A man with a weak ego will look for women he thinks he's better than. So for this dude seems like he's choosing black women for that reason.

Yep. Makes sense.

 

[CaraWalker]

I actually think this is more common then people think. A man with a weak ego will look for women he thinks he's better than. So for this dude seems like he's choosing black women for that reason.

yeah. i could see that. in some ways... it doesnt explain his enthusiasm for dating some of the ugliest white women ive ever seen though. the weird part is the best looking one i saw him date he didnt really like her.

i also think im so much on the lookout of race issues in white men that i never really thought a lot about what those kind of issues would look like with other minorities. he was an especially confusing case because he was pretty whitewashed but was very knowledgeable about race issues i care about. at any rate, i'll never date another indian man. which is a shame because i often see some pretty good looking ones and they usually have money. oh well.

 

[GoldenRule]

I've had indian male acquaintances over the years and the general consensus from them is (don't get mad), they will almost ALWAYS marry an indian woman. In the interim though, they certainly enjoy seeking out female company of ANY race and although they prefer white women (because as you know they have some of the most severe colorism issues on the planet), they will date black women because they do not need to put as much effort into the "relationship". In short, white women have expectations on being treated a certain way and we generally do not. They said indian women are chaste and reserved and sex is much better with american women in general, we give it up much easier in general and that with black women in particular, since it's mostly a "placeholder" type of activity until they go home and get a wife, they are not as pressed about having to be a REAL boyfriend as they would be with a white women.

That's a loose combination from what I heard from at least 3 indian men (1 Hindi and 2 Muslim). Again, don't shoot the messenger. I would not touch one with a 10-foot pole.

 

[CaraWalker]

eh im not really bothered by those kinds of implications theyre not new to me. ive mentioned around here many times before that we fell into a relationship and he had to give me an ultimatum before i agreed to it. apparently thats a thing with me.

im not going to take those generalizations personally; they dont apply to me. for example i doubt if he'll marry an indian woman; hes never even dated one. personally im betting he'll end up alone though so i guess time will tell on that one.

 

[Simply_elle]

Girl...

I wouldn't internalize anything this man did/says/does. I dated 2 Indian men and one Sri Lankan man. Boi!

The Sri Lankan, was OBSESSED with my color, he'd remark how light I was and, if we had children they'd not show up black (not kidding). He had a tri racial DD who had a biracial mom, and he was glad she looked S. Asian. I truly think he preferred lighter skin/ or mixed black women... But seemed so uncomfortable dating me.

I dated this Indian med student when I used to back and forth to Chicago... He again was soo caught up in color and his exes were the prerequisite ugly arse WW. He really had issues. He made a fake FB profile and stalked me via friends bc I don't add strangers. I broke up with him in 2008! He last sent messages last year... That I know! He wrote my friends saying he'd pay $ to have pics of me sent... And he thinks I hid a pregnancy from him, and told my nursing buddy he had a mental breakdown bc I wouldn't talk to him. Fukced up! I know he's back in Alberta, but this bama makes me look over my shoulder.

Third Indian. Yeah he and I but I was chasing my ex at the time and let his fine a$s go... But if I'd stay I'm sure I'd get a repeat of one or two

All that to say, it's them not you! I refuse to date Indian men. I won't on a plane, I won't on a train...

 

[BKbeauty]

yeah. i could see that. in some ways... it doesnt explain his enthusiasm for dating some of the ugliest white women ive ever seen though. the weird part is the best looking one i saw him date he didnt really like her. i also think im so much on the lookout of race issues in white men that i never really thought a lot about what those kind of issues would look like with other minorities. he was an especially confusing case because he was pretty whitewashed but was very knowledgeable about race issues i care about. at any rate, i'll never date another indian man. which is a shame because i often see some pretty good looking ones and they usually have money. oh well.

If you like Indian guys, date an Indian man from the Caribbean, while they aren't perfect, they seem to have better attitudes toward black people since they are used to living with them.

 

[CaraWalker]

He really had issues. He made a fake FB profile and stalked me via friends bc I don't add strangers. I broke up with him in 2008! He last sent messages last year... That I know! He wrote my friends saying he'd pay $ to have pics of me sent... And he thinks I hid a pregnancy from him, and told my nursing buddy he had a mental breakdown bc I wouldn't talk to him.

he is stilllllllllllllllllllll harrassing me and we broke up in october! please dont tell me i have several more years of this and i was the one who initiated the break up, but every time he would call and harass me he made it seem like i wouldnt leave him alone. finally like a month later he sent me this pathetic drunk text talking about "you win, im sad" so not long after that i was out with my rm at the time and invited him to come hang since he was being so pathetic, and he left his apt and came right over. then we got to talking and he said his professor asked him if anything was wrong and he said he was going through a break up i felt kinda bad that he was so messed up but on the other hand i was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO thrilled that he was so miserable random people were worried about him

 

[GoldenRule]

he is stilllllllllllllllllllll harrassing me and we broke up in october! please dont tell me i have several more years of this and i was the one who initiated the break up, but every time he would call and harass me he made it seem like i wouldnt leave him alone. finally like a month later he sent me this pathetic drunk text talking about "you win, im sad" so not long after that i was out with my rm at the time and invited him to come hang since he was being so pathetic, and he left his apt and came right over. then we got to talking and he said his professor asked him if anything was wrong and he said he was going through a break up i felt kinda bad that he was so messed up but on the other hand i was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO thrilled that he was so miserable random people were worried about him

If you gave him some he is going to run around behind you for 10 more years. He'll be like that "Can I get your number?" man.

 

[starchgirl]

I'm here for Simply_elle's Green Eggs and Ham reference!! Love it! Carry on!

 

[Simply_elle]

If you like Indian guys, date an Indian man from the Caribbean, while they aren't perfect, they seem to have better attitudes toward black people since they are used to living with them.

OmG!

There was a Jamaican btwo Trini pilot who flew with my ex... Addi(?) He tried his hardest he'd sit in my office at the airport and tell me his latest and greatest... My kentucky/ohio older WW co-workers were creeped by him and chased him away haha. it's was like New Delhi looking at him but his accent was straight yardie. So odd lol.