No coloring.
- Thread starter Klearli
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Klearli
New Member
To answer some questions above, we have been official boy friend and girlfriend since sept 2010. We had dated since november 2009, but not exclusively. I always thought him to be a player of some sort because id always see him out with different women, but he later told me he was celibate during a lot of that time. I too was celibate, but not for the reasons he was. I just didn't have anyone. And we had our first kiss in...hmm. June 2010 I think. We haven't really spent a night apart since then. Well...christmas we didnt, since we were at my parents house, and on mothers day we sent to see our separate mothers. What else...he was basically the best boyfriend ever, til his retarded but moved in here. Then he just lost his mind lately. And he's always cleaning stuff. My stuff. Grrr. I don't think he's cheating on me. Not even a little bit. He's always where he says he'll be.
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Klearli
New Member
"it" being the food or...something else?
A lady...um...never tells?
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FlowerHair
Reclaiming my time
He seems to be on the fence between celibacy and doing "it".
I would NOT let him stay in my house anymore if I were you, considering you've already done it and now he's trying to abstain while being in the same house and bed as you.
hopeful
Well-Known Member
Well I am all for celibacy and waiting for marriage but this is a bit too much for me. The back and forth stuff is ridiculous. What matters to me is what is important to you. Do you like and want to have sex with your boyfriend? Yes or no, point, blank, period. Cause how you gonna go maybe years without sex if you enjoy it and don't see it as a sin? You guys aren't even engaged so it could be a long long, frustrating wait. He may be the best boyfriend ever but if you are always frustrated and wanting to be intimate it is going to do a number on your self-esteem and your stress levels. So like I said, what do YOU want? And I too think it is some kind of control issue. And I would not have any dude making me feel desperate and sinful
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Klearli
New Member
Him and I have pretty much the same views on religion. I believe that sex before marriage is a sin, one that I personally struggle greatly with. But like many people, we find ways to justify the sins we want to do, even though there is no degree in sin. I'm not angry with him for wanting to abstain, but tonight was too much...hence why I'm still awake. I'm not sure I think its a control thing...but id have to think about it before I could have a definite answer. I think its more so a stress thing. He tends to act like that...ridiculous and slappable when he is stressed.
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Yall really need to stop playing with fire. He sure does call out religion at strange times.
I was celibate for over a year with my last BF, but we did not tempt ourselves. It was very easy to do, because we had the lines drawn in the sand. If you two were serious about it, and not just giving it mouth service, no pun intended, then you two would make it happen. You two are not on the same page. You are saying yes to celibacy until he is horny. He is playing games.
I will tell you this, I won't do it again.
ambergirl
Well-Known Member
Yeah this is a strange situation. Personally if he's in my bed on the regular we are going to be about the business.
If he's serious about celibacy then to my mind he needs to find another place to sleep.
Also, do you think this says something about where he's going with regards to his religious practice in general? Would you be cool being in relationship/married to a very devout man?
Just caught up with a friend of mine this weekend and she was saying that her husband's decision to become extremely devout was the reason their marraige ended.
LongTimeComing
Well-Known Member
Ain't no way....
He sounds like a hypocrite. You can't throw God on some BS and call it kosher. Yall living together, he want some kitty when he gets pressed, but wants you to be alright with it, and then call on the Name in the middle of the act....GTFOOHWTBS!
Yall at least need to talk. At best yall need to move apart, money situation be damned.
He sounds like a hypocrite. You can't throw God on some BS and call it kosher. Yall living together, he want some kitty when he gets pressed, but wants you to be alright with it, and then call on the Name in the middle of the act....GTFOOHWTBS!
Yall at least need to talk. At best yall need to move apart, money situation be damned.
Klearli
New Member
I just feel like coloring is like cigarettes or something. You know its bad, you know its wrong, you know hell is hot...but you wanna do it until you decide not to do it. It just sucks he's who I want to be with, and it takes two to tango, so without him I'm stuck. Him and I are compatible religion wise. We grew up in the same type of church, and have the same principles. The only thing we differ in is our ideas about coloring right now. He wants me to be on board because it takes two to be successful in abstaining. When we started back up in March its because there was a death in my family and I wanted to be comforted in that particular way and I'm pretty sure he has a difficult time saying no to the things I want, whatever they are. We slept in the same bed for months before we ever initially colored...or even kissed. I knew after we started back up in March it would end again...but not the way it happened last night.
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You are NOT compatible religion wise, if he is throwing religion and sex into the same conversation. One minute, ride em cowgirl and the next, shut your legs because we going to hell. Nah.
What are you not telling us? I feel that there is one or more componets you are not telling us, because what you are explaining makes no sense to me.
ambergirl
Well-Known Member
^^^Yeah I'm not getting the situation here either.
The jig is up. You done did it and did it and did it again. A God who would send you to h*ll for premarital sex isn't going to look to kindly to sleeping and cuddling and kissing and "just the tip" encounters either.
Makes me wonder if there's more to the story too
The jig is up. You done did it and did it and did it again. A God who would send you to h*ll for premarital sex isn't going to look to kindly to sleeping and cuddling and kissing and "just the tip" encounters either.
Makes me wonder if there's more to the story too
southerncitygirl
Well-Known Member
Klearli
i read you other thread in off topic about the doggie getting him in his family jewels and you laughed. you sure he didn't out of spite hold out on sex and is using religion as a lie not to give you any? if this is the case he's a real a-hole that is manipulative that has to have things his way and run for the hills!!!!!
i read you other thread in off topic about the doggie getting him in his family jewels and you laughed. you sure he didn't out of spite hold out on sex and is using religion as a lie not to give you any? if this is the case he's a real a-hole that is manipulative that has to have things his way and run for the hills!!!!!
Klearli
New Member
More to the story like what? If y'all really wanna know. I think y'all should read the original post. We stopped in december. Started in march. And have now decided to stop again. Whats confusing? Has anyone ever tried anything, and failed? Only to try again? People who believe in God are only human.
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blackberry815
New Member
Actually this is not an uncommon for people who are religious or spiritual. The truth of the matter is that we are all human and although he may strive to not color I'm sure its a struggle for him. Only because its within our nature to want to color. Ive been there. It's not easy once you've started to stop. But it would be best if you were both on the same page. You both kinda should to feel strongly about it for it to work.
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ambergirl
Well-Known Member
Okay are you all living together or just spending the night at each others homes? Either way if you're serious, stop sleeping in the same bed. This back and forth teasing and hair slapping and doing everything but sex sounds like game playing...but then again I don't believe premartial sex is a sin so maybe I just don't get it.
Geminigirl
Well-Known Member
But you told everything else...he put the tip in?!? I guess lol, carry on
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Incognitus
Well-Known Member
^^ yeah, that didn't make much sense to me either. 
erplexed I' assuming she was just being humorous (in the thread), that is, just being light hearted.
erplexed I' assuming she was just being humorous (in the thread), that is, just being light hearted.
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Incognitus
Well-Known Member
@ OP: I've read through this whole post and your recent responses. I will never now your or his true motivations or intentions. What I can advise you is this: You seem to want to be with him. If you see this as marriage material, it's better to get things straight NOW. You must sit down and discuss a resolution not to color until x date. Also discuss not teasing each other or pulling one another along. If he (and if you) are serious then, you must set ground rules.
I know no one is perfect and it's understandable that you both can fall short. However, it seems like if he falls short, you automatically give in. Where as if you fell short (and counldnt resist), he is able to tell you no. You BOTH must decide to do this, and try to be strong for each other. I use the term "try" because I'm getting the impression that you are only going along because he says so. Meaning, if you two were celibate for 6 months and he (in a moment of weakness) says 'lets do it now", you'd agree instead of telling him no. In this type of one sided situation, you'll only be celibate as long as he can withstand. And you will eventually fall short again. It will end up becoming a cycle. I'm not wishing you ill, as it's more of a matter of human nature.
The point it, you must be honest with yourself, decide what's important to you and whether or not he's worth it. If he is, then you too must begin to take you new vow of celibacy seriously (because if you are staying with him, then you are accepting this). You should perhaps also tell him that you are doing this for him, so don't tempt you (if this is the case).
Side note: What was the deal with you two breaking up before he ate, and then getting back together afterwards? Seems a bit childish.
Hopefully, you do not take offense to anything I have said. I assume that when you post here that you are seeking honest and "real", opinions. Best of luck sweetie...
I know no one is perfect and it's understandable that you both can fall short. However, it seems like if he falls short, you automatically give in. Where as if you fell short (and counldnt resist), he is able to tell you no. You BOTH must decide to do this, and try to be strong for each other. I use the term "try" because I'm getting the impression that you are only going along because he says so. Meaning, if you two were celibate for 6 months and he (in a moment of weakness) says 'lets do it now", you'd agree instead of telling him no. In this type of one sided situation, you'll only be celibate as long as he can withstand. And you will eventually fall short again. It will end up becoming a cycle. I'm not wishing you ill, as it's more of a matter of human nature.
The point it, you must be honest with yourself, decide what's important to you and whether or not he's worth it. If he is, then you too must begin to take you new vow of celibacy seriously (because if you are staying with him, then you are accepting this). You should perhaps also tell him that you are doing this for him, so don't tempt you (if this is the case).
Side note: What was the deal with you two breaking up before he ate, and then getting back together afterwards? Seems a bit childish.
Hopefully, you do not take offense to anything I have said. I assume that when you post here that you are seeking honest and "real", opinions. Best of luck sweetie...
AHeadOfCoils
Well-Known Member
She can't get no head either? Naw, son. I would have to leave him.
itismehmmkay
Well-Known Member
I got a different vibe from it too; I don't know what's really up with him.
I would stop the sleepovers and see how he is
I would stop the sleepovers and see how he is
theLovelyStyle
Well-Known Member
Surprised no one has mentioned this.
I find it odd that you guys use to color on a regular basis while seeing other people before you guys became exclusive.
Then you guys became exclusive and colored off and on again due to his religion?
Sounds fishy, but have you checked out if he is "clean"
I find it odd that you guys use to color on a regular basis while seeing other people before you guys became exclusive.
Then you guys became exclusive and colored off and on again due to his religion?
Sounds fishy, but have you checked out if he is "clean"
Incognitus
Well-Known Member
^^ Good point. He may have one of those chronic STDs/conditions.
Valerie
Well-Known Member
y'all need to stop sex is sex whether its oral,, anal, or otherwise, y'all all going to hell with gasoline drawers
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i would have a talk with him about where he sees the relationship going and if see's you as being the one he wants to marry......he can't expect for you to deal with him going hot and cold on ya claiming he's religious without putting a ring on it and going down the aisle.
you sure he ain't cheating and is using this as an excuse?
how long have y'all been together? this is some bull, i would get up early tomorrow (before him) get out the shower dripping wet and blast some rap music and make it clap, straddle his ***, get him riled up and tell him i couldn't cause the spirit just gripped you
That is what I was thinking, what do you want from your relationship, I think you need to ask yourself some very serious questions, do you want to be married, do you want him. If you want him, get engaged, get married so you can have all the sex you want, then if you want a fabulous big wedding, now or save up if you can't afford one, presently.
Both of you need to be honest with each other, no mind games, hot and cold, if he is not the right person, get someone else, life is too short for that!
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