Never Thought I'd Consider The "N" Word

[Chichi]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

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Irresistible said:

yeah Adrienne's hair baffles me, she certainly has beat alot of odds that i could never beat with the relaxer. shooo not even come close to even. her hair is truly beautiful...but then all my life my sister could relax and have healthy hair and i couldnt , and that baffled me too , (and im talkin her hair was thick and full and sickening lol) not to mention frustrated me, her hair looked like mine does natural , all those years we were relaxing and mine just looked hopeless, lifeless, broken, damaged and dead , had me in tears all the time. i have no clue why it works out for some and not for others and it wasnt anything i did or didnt do, cause trust me i tried it all and my sister and hair dresser took me on as a case that they were determined to find a way to make the relaxer work....it just wasnt happening...so all i can say is if you can have hair like Adrienne (or my sister) while relaxed then go for it...but if not, then go natural!!

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Do you have wavy hair? From your pictures, it looks like you have wavy hair. I think that my hair type (2C) is similar to yours. Wavy hair does not do well with relaxers because it is the hardest hair to straighten (didn't know this until my last relaxer LOL

). My stylist told me this and it was also suggested in Essence that wavies use a SUPER strength relaxer to get the waves out. During my last relaxer, that relaxer was sitting so long on my head that I asked my stylist about it and that was when she told me.

So what I am getting at is that before a wavy gets her hair straight, the relaxer will have to beat those waves into submission; the result is dead, lifeless hair. It's a paradox because, I can feel my new growth and it feels strong, silky, and vibrant. Yet with a relaxer, it suffered. I think it's because they don't make relaxers for wavies. Just my $.02.

Chichi

 

[Irresistible]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

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Chichi said:
[
Do you have wavy hair? From your pictures, it looks like you have wavy hair. I think that my hair type (2C) is similar to yours. Wavy hair does not do well with relaxers because it is the hardest hair to straighten (didn't know this until my last relaxer LOL

). My stylist told me this and it was also suggested in Essence that wavies use a SUPER strength relaxer to get the waves out. During my last relaxer, that relaxer was sitting so long on my head that I asked my stylist about it and that was when she told me.

So what I am getting at is that before a wavy gets her hair straight, the relaxer will have to beat those waves into submission; the result is dead, lifeless hair. It's a paradox because, I can feel my new growth and it feels strong, silky, and vibrant. Yet with a relaxer, it suffered. I think it's because they don't make relaxers for wavies. Just my $.02.

Chichi

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well my hair is one big poof, boof , indescrible type of thing on its own. not a fro, not waves, no curls....just poof , BUT when i wet it and put product on it , then its wavy.

 

[keke]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

thats what im doing now IRR. I'm using braids to grow my hair out longer. When out of them i put my hair up in a bun and put a piece on since i dont have enough of my own yet to have a nice fully bun. Either that or i put it in curly hair style(bantu knots) I'm not ready to show others my full lenght until the summer. My goal then is that my hair is lil past my shoulders. I sure am hoping.

 

[Irresistible]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

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keke said:
thats what im doing now IRR. I'm using braids to grow my hair out longer. When out of them i put my hair up in a bun and put a piece on since i dont have enough of my own yet to have a nice fully bun. Either that or i put it in curly hair style(bantu knots) I'm not ready to show others my full lenght until the summer. My goal then is that my hair is lil past my shoulders. I sure am hoping.

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as long as your doing everything right(and im sure you are) you will probably be at that goal by then...i never saw so much growth till i went natural.

 

[swayback23]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

Yeah Irrestible, we agree on most points. I'm just convinced that many women who have relaxed for years focus on 2/3 textured hair as their goal for their natural hair. They also think the hair they had when they were kids was "soft" enough, so that's what they will have when they stop relaxing. They also overlook "scab" hair, the often damaged ahir that continues to grow out of our scalps for a while after we stop relaxing, as the BUILDUP of chemicals in our scalp and follicles purge. They are often in for a rude awakening.

They forget that women go through several major homonal changes as we grow up, and our hair texture changes accordingly. What you had at 7 may not be what you have at 27. With coils and kinks, it takes YEARS to grow long natural hair, and many aren't gonna wait that long for length. It takes at MASSIVE shift in hair care and OUTLOOK for many relaxed heads to "transition" to wearing and loving their natural hair in ALL its phases.

Those of us who stop relaxing for the reasons I listed before will love whatever our hair does, and however long it is. Those who don't work on their MINDS and self image before hand are not gonna last. You have to transition SELF in this Eurocentric society to love aour nappy crowns, not just your hair.

(I'm not gonna comment on pressing, which over time will permantly alter texture too.)

 

[Irresistible]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

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swayback23 said:
Yeah Irrestible, we agree on most points. I'm just convinced that many women who have relaxed for years focus on 2/3 textured hair as their goal for their natural hair. They also think the hair they had when they were kids was "soft" enough, so that's what they will have when they stop relaxing. They also overlook "scab" hair, the often damaged ahir that continues to grow out of our scalps for a while after we stop relaxing, as the BUILDUP of chemicals in our scalp and follicles purge. They are often in for a rude awakening.

They forget that women go through several major homonal changes as we grow up, and our hair texture changes accordingly. What you had at 7 may not be what you have at 27. With coils and kinks, it takes YEARS to grow long natural hair, and many aren't gonna wait that long for length. It takes at MASSIVE shift in hair care and OUTLOOK for many relaxed heads to "transition" to wearing and loving their natural hair in ALL its phases.

Those of us who stop relaxing for the reasons I listed before will love whatever our hair does, and however long it is. Those who don't work on their MINDS and self image before hand are not gonna last. You have to transition SELF in this Eurocentric society to love aour nappy crowns, not just your hair.

(I'm not gonna comment on pressing, which over time will permantly alter texture too.)

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i can understand and appreciate all that you said...and thank you for not commenting on the pressing

 

[nutella]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

Excellent points, Swayback.
Returning to your natural hair requires a change in thinking AS WELL AS a change in behavior.
Many people "go natural" but still maintain feelings of inferiority about highly textured hair, and they still expect their hair to "lay down," swing, etc. They expect to look like Tracee Ellis Ross (who, btw, has a chemical process called a Silkener--just another name for a texturizer/relaxer).
Now that I have had 1.5 years with my chemical-free hair, I have an entirely different view of beautiful hair, since I'm no longer wasting time, money and energy pursuing something that is unnatural for me (and being left feeling disappointed, resentful and inferior). Swinging, hanging, so-called silky hair doesn't impress me anymore. The kinkier the better, in my opinion; it's more versatile.
And I hope I live to see the day when Black women stop talking about who "can go natural" and who "can't." That kind of thinking just makes me want to cry. It seems to me that God already made that decision for us when we came out of the womb.

 

[Irresistible]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

Swayback,

i want to introduce you to a group if your not already a member there..
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/NappyHair/

for two reasons, 1. its clear that you would be an asset to the group as well as it be an asset to you ..and ...2. there are over 1400 members there accepting and embracing there natural selves and taking the negative out of nappy (alll hair types included) but it includes tons of type 4b etc. members with kinky coily hair and they are making it a positive thing and arent thinking that natural means only a certain hair type. although i do understand all that you said...and that is some's frame of mind just not all, and your right with that frame of mind they will fail at being natural , whatever the case if your not already a member there, you should be!! im sure many would love to have you there. you will love it.

 

[HotCoCoGurl130]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

i have recently decided to go natural for a number of reasons. i think that the breaking point for me is when i was on a website and the author was talking about how one should save the leftover perm to wash the bathroom b/c the harsh chemicals break down dirt very well. i am so happy that so many ladies here are going natural and rediscovering themselves and how god made thm. by saying this i am not bashing anyone who is not natural b/c i see many women who use relaxer and they too have gorgeous hair but i think that we have been brainwahsed for so many years that i think that desicion to go natural is very brave.

 

[NGC]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

All healthy hair is good, regardless as to whether or not it is kinkier OR wavier (sp?). I sure hate to see folks dismiss people just because the hair may not meet up to a certain kink meter as I am sure many folks with "high level" kink don't want to be dismissed, disrespected, etc. by those who may not have extremely kinky hair.

The most IMPORTANT thing is the health of the hair and mind.

 

[Irresistible]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

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NGC said:
All healthy hair is good, regardless as to whether or not it is kinkier OR wavier (sp?). I sure hate to see folks dismiss people just because the hair may not meet up to a certain kink meter as I am sure many folks with "high level" kink don't want to be dismissed, disrespected, etc. by those who may not have extremely kinky hair.

The most IMPORTANT thing is the health of the hair and mind.

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yeah we got the relaxer vs natural thang goin on with us, then there is that ole nap-o-meter....but then thats a whole other post....all i know is i hate seeing the division

 

[Irresistible]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

[ QUOTE ]
NGC said:
All healthy hair is good, regardless as to whether or not it is kinkier OR wavier (sp?). I sure hate to see folks dismiss people just because the hair may not meet up to a certain kink meter as I am sure many folks with "high level" kink don't want to be dismissed, disrespected, etc. by those who may not have extremely kinky hair.

The most IMPORTANT thing is the health of the hair and mind.

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preach that!!! just read that again and had to come back and say dat lol, add to that the heart too

but the pain runs deep, and i just think its sad that this was done to us.

 

[annointedaka]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

Iris I never meant to open up this can of worms, really I didn't. I was just attempting to share "my" experiences with everyone, to save them some of the frustration I experienced. I know I was naive, but if everyone were honest I don't think I was alone. The "good hair" debate is old as dirt in the black family. No matter how conscientious we all are, we have heard the arguments and know how society views our hair. Although we may not buy into the hype, we certainly know all about it. My jury is still out on whether I really believe that hair length is not influenced heavily by genetics. But that is a topic a newbie like me is not ready for yet much love mindy. I didn't mean to jack the thread. And Iris you know I got love for you!

 

[Irresistible]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

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annointedaka said:
Iris I never meant to open up this can of worms, really I didn't. I was just attempting to share "my" experiences with everyone, to save them some of the frustration I experienced. I know I was naive, but if everyone were honest I don't think I was alone. The "good hair" debate is old as dirt in the black family. No matter how conscientious we all are, we have heard the arguments and know how society views our hair. Although we may not buy into the hype, we certainly know all about it. My jury is still out on whether I really believe that hair length is not influenced heavily by genetics. But that is a topic a newbie like me is not ready for yet much love mindy. I didn't mean to jack the thread. And Iris you know I got love for you!

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B i know and you know im not trippin or even percieving it that way, you know ive been in some real sticky topics and can still come out understanding all sides. so you know im cool....and i did get your point even. you were just saying that when one is going natural they should not let themselves be illusioned into thinking their hair will look like someone else's. that was understood, and true. and even if they arent delusional about it they still might be caught off gaurd at what comes out of their head naturally....its just that on this thread i think it was more about hair health than hair type, thats all. but you know i can handle all sides of an issue or a post and hear everyone's thoughts and feelings and still keep the love...so nah girl i wasnt trippin.

btw hair legnth is something genetic, we all have some kind of internal thing (forgot what its called) thats written in our genes. the key is doing all that we can with our hair to allow it to actually reach that maximum legnth, and "most" or "some" of us that had relaxers or constantly pressed had not seen that legnth while we were doing that to our hair.

 

[L80sbabygirl]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

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Irresistible said:
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Salsybabe said:
Irresistible, I can't get into your albums, but from what I see, your hair looks healthy. I think if anyone is considering going natural, they should think about why they're doing it. Is it b/c you expect it to look a certain way? Is it for healthier hair, etc.? Whatever the reason, being natural is about accepting your hair the way it is no matter what the texture. I looked through a lot of photo albums before I went natural and I admired the healthiness, strength and versatility of natural hair. I did not have any expectations of what my hair was to look like. I also read a lot about how to take care of natural hair, and I think that's key. The most important thing is not to treat natural hair like it's relaxed hair; it will shrink if it's typical AA hair, so don't expect it to be flowing down your back once it grows. Good luck to whatever you decide.

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girl i am natural....ten years now...i was talking about others going natural like you just did lol......yeah i dont know whats up with yahoo, my link has been working on and off here and there today.

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I was directing it toward the OP. I was just directing the part of not being able to get into your photo album to you. Sorry if that wasn't clear.

 

[Irresistible]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

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Salsybabe said:
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Irresistible said:
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Salsybabe said:
Irresistible, I can't get into your albums, but from what I see, your hair looks healthy. I think if anyone is considering going natural, they should think about why they're doing it. Is it b/c you expect it to look a certain way? Is it for healthier hair, etc.? Whatever the reason, being natural is about accepting your hair the way it is no matter what the texture. I looked through a lot of photo albums before I went natural and I admired the healthiness, strength and versatility of natural hair. I did not have any expectations of what my hair was to look like. I also read a lot about how to take care of natural hair, and I think that's key. The most important thing is not to treat natural hair like it's relaxed hair; it will shrink if it's typical AA hair, so don't expect it to be flowing down your back once it grows. Good luck to whatever you decide.

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girl i am natural....ten years now...i was talking about others going natural like you just did lol......yeah i dont know whats up with yahoo, my link has been working on and off here and there today.

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I was directing it toward the OP. I was just directing the part of not being able to get into your photo album to you. Sorry if that wasn't clear.

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oh sowwwy bout that

 

[swayback23]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

Thanks for the reference, but the reigning nappy site is my favorite place. I'm spoiled.

 

[EgyptianSand16]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

Beautiful hair

but I have had you on my fave list for a while now as Iris

You are definitely my pressed hair goal...I am growing my natural hair out with braids too..I plan to do this till I reach my goal..You are also very pretty

..Thanks for being my inspiration
your hair stalker

 

[Irresistible]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

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EgyptianSand16 said:
Beautiful hair

but I have had you on my fave list for a while now as Iris

You are definitely my pressed hair goal...I am growing my natural hair out with braids too..I plan to do this till I reach my goal..You are also very pretty

..Thanks for being my inspiration
your hair stalker

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thank you gurl. its so cool to see so many doing this...because i know the end result

 

[sweetpea5000]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

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Irresistible said:
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sweetpea5000 said:
Irresistable...your hair is gorgeous!!

I looked at your album a while back, and when I first saw the pics with you in the cap, I did a double take...you looked like me!! I had to go to the closeups to make sure you weren't my twin. With the cap and the side ponytail(mine with extensions though!)....It kind of freaked me out. Crazy!

Anyways, your pics are so inspiring, and so is your story...you give me hope, girl!!!

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thank you girl , wow so we look alike? girl you know i was lookin for a link or somethin to see your pics lol. go on ahead with the pony tail , i did that for a long time to get through the awkward , not long enough to look right in a pony tail yet stage.

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When I have enough progress I'm planning to post some pics, and I'll try to find one where I have my hair like that, just to show you!!

 

[keke]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

yeah. I got me some Stay so Soft Fro, or Sta Sof Fro. something like that. Anyway i got that and its good on keeping my synthetic haired braids much less tangled. I am soooo happy.

I use my s-curl every day about 1-2, maybe 3 times a day. So hopefully by summer i'll have shoulder length or better yet PAST shoulder length hair. :^D

 

[qtpi]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

Chichi, i think they started making perms for wavy hair people. It's aimed towards Hispanic people though (marketing) who are trying to get their hair staight. Just for the clarification! Not trying to make anyone jump off the natural bandwagon!! Sorry, forgot which magazine I saw it in though!