Never Thought I'd Consider The "N" Word

[sassygirl125]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

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I realized it didn't look like many of the pics I had seen. That caused serious discouragement.

[/ QUOTE ]

I hear ya'. It didn't take me long to see that my hair wasn't going to look like Motowngrl's or Monicurl's.

But I'm okay with that.

 

[Irresistible]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

Thank you Kerplunky, when i went natural ten years ago, it wasnt because i was inspired by anyones pics....and there was no way in hell i thought for one second natural would be beautiful (not kidding) i had no clue what to do with my hair, with no weaves (yup i wore them) and no relaxer...pressing all the time wasnt an option....i couldnt even fit my hair in a pony tail...i didnt have boards to go to , to get advice on how to manage it , what products to use, nothing...i was seriously on my own. but i had the most important reason for being natural ever , that made me stick it out and keep at it till i figured out what worked and what didnt and how to manage it...and that reason was MY HAIR WAS JACKED UP BADLY WITH RELAXERS , and i couldnt go back...i stumbled on conditioner washes years ago....long before it had a name that i knew of. i did it all alone and it was all a new discovery, i was a product junkie before i knew what that was called too lol.....it was rough at times, but i had no other choices the way i saw it.....so anyone looking at my pics and admiring them, just know that your hair may not look exactly like mine ,but i too started out not knowing what to expect at all.... but the most imporant point my pics can make (especailly if you could see any before pics of my damaged hair) is that natural hair can truly be healthy and grow long and thick...(mine never ever did that with a relaxer ) and although there are different limits on natural hair than relaxed, the important thing IS that its healthy.

 

[Irresistible]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

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Toni said:
Irresistable...you do have bomb hair. Very nice.

[/ QUOTE ]

thank you very much Toni

 

[serena]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

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I transitioned for a long long time, litterally until only the very ends had relaxer on them

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I'd definitely opt for a fairly long transition period myself - any time from a year at the very least, up to possibly two years. I'd depend on my trusty ole bun, too - just as I did when I was natural, and still do now I'm relaxed.

Edited to correct typo.

 

[sassygirl125]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

[ QUOTE ]
i stumbled on conditioner washes years ago....long before it had a name that i knew of. i did it all alone and it was all a new discovery

[/ QUOTE ]

You could have written a book and got rich!

 

[Irresistible]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

[ QUOTE ]
Mindymouse said:
I agree, that's why I said, I'm sure my hair would'nt like that. But it is a very aspring goal...

[/ QUOTE ]

well girl all i gotta say is most of us have no clue what our natural hair will look like....BUT there is only one way to find out right? i didnt go natural cause i believed my hair would look like anyone's or even good , i did it cause i just couldnt take the extreme damage anymore..i had bowl cuts , halle cuts, all kinda cuts(and i hated them all), my hair never made it past the very top of my shoulders with a relaxer ,and it was always thin and it was never long before it was see through and needed another cut and i did this for years , over and over thinking THIS TIME will work, trying this trying that. NOPE. all i can say is if you want to know how your hair will look natural, try it, if you want to know how it will feel, try it, if you want to know how well it will do natural , try it.....what does anyone have to lose really? the relaxer will always be there. it just was not an option for me to ever return to it. no matter the hair type.....if anyone steadily experiences damage from relaxers its definitely worth the shot to go natural.
so i dont think anyone is really saying " My hair will look like hers" i think they are seeing healthy hair and thinking about the possibilites of that for themselves...and no matter what sprouts out of your head , you can work with it and make it look beautiful. because really, healthy hair is beautiful period. no matter the type

 

[Irresistible]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

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karezone said:
Not working, I guess I will try again later.

[/ QUOTE ]

yeah it keeps working then going down again.
the link typed this way works to see the albums , but you cant click on the albums....weird
http://f1.pg.photos.yahoo.com/irrisistablbtch/

 

[serena]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

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i had no clue what to do with my hair, with no weaves (yup i wore them)

[/ QUOTE ]

And all along, your own hair had the potential for such beauty...

 

[swayback23]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

Most who think about transitioning only want to if they will have long "wavy" 3a/**** hair. They can't mentally deal with the idea that it might be kinky, nappy, shrinking, classically afro textured hair. Which is what the majority of Black people women are gonna find under all the chemically straightened relaxer.

 

[Irresistible]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

[ QUOTE ]
serena said:


I'd definitely opt for a fairly long transistion period myself - any time from a year at the very least, up to possibly two years. I'd depend on my trusty ole bun, too - just as I did when I was natural, and still do now I'm relaxed.

[/ QUOTE ]

I took my last weave out sometime in january of 1993 and i had almost no hair...couldnt fit it in a pony tail barely...like a one inch pony tail. some hair was relaxed , some was natural, some was ripped out with the weave. just a plain mess. lots of tears later, i decided my hair was in such bad shape that if i continued i wouldnt have any hair left soon, so i decided no more weaves, no heat, no relaxers. so what was i gonna do , i had no clue. so i washed and condtioned it , then combed out alot of matted hair (from being in the weave too long which i only ended up wearing cause of the damage from the relaxers , a vicious cycle) then greased it and brushed it back into that little one inch pony tail...and it felt great that i was finally done...it was still wet and all shiny from the grease and it was the first time i washed my own hair in i dont know how long. but it looked good to me compared to that weave. but of course i hated the little itty bitty pony tail , so i went and bought a weft of hair and wrapped it around and around to make a pony tail...i barely had enough of a pony tail to support it but i worked it till i got more hair...this ended up being the only way i wore my hair out the house for a long time, i just put leave in in it , greased it and put on my pony tail...and as several months passed...i saw all this thick healthy hair coming in...i was in awe. i had very little relaxed hair left and it was growing like wildfire and the thickest i had ever seen it....so what did i do by the time it reached the very bottom of my neck??? yup, relaxed again.....in sept of that year. well within a few months....BREAKAGE....i was so upset at myself for relaxing again and having to start all over, i coudnt bring myself to cut it. and the damage was driving my crazy how it felt , i had to litterly fight the urge hard to not chop it off , i coudnt stand how it felt since i saw and felt the healthy hair i had without the relaxer for the first time the damaged hair was now almost intolerable....so i braided to keep scissors out of it....took the braids out everytime at about 5 weeks and did major condtioning and wore it in a bun till i put the braids back in trimming and trimming the whole time. i did this for years....untill only very the ends were relaxed...and then did that one last chop......AHHHH FREEDOM LOL

 

[Irresistible]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

[ QUOTE ]
sassygirl125 said:
[ QUOTE ]
i stumbled on conditioner washes years ago....long before it had a name that i knew of. i did it all alone and it was all a new discovery

[/ QUOTE ]

You could have written a book and got rich!

[/ QUOTE ]

i know , it kills me too lol

 

[imsovain]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

I can't believe I'm saying this... I'm gonna stop relaxing my hair and go natural. I just KNOW that my natural hair is beautiful, because that's the hair God gave me.

 

[Irresistible]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

thank you, man if only i would of known it lol...i mean if i had all the money i spent on some weaves...gurl i would be skraight for a while lol

 

[Ennyaa]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

Your hair truly is an inspiration for me because I just started my transition earlier this year. My story is quite similar. I wore weaves (I've had every kind there is) for years and when I finally stopped my hair had broken off to like 1/2 an inch of hair in the back and the rest was just scraggly and all uneven. So I used human hair braids to nurse it back to a semi decent state.... And then I found this board and so much info I was hooked.

I too couldn't cope with the idea of a big ole chop so I'm doing my transition very VERY gradually. I actually began by moving from relaxer to texturizer I think in Nov or December of last year. By May I realized that the difference between the very mild texturizer my stylist (I miss her) was giving me and my new growth was barely noticeable.

So finally I said, aww the hell with it I'm not texturizing NO MO I'm just gon go ahead and let my hair do it's thing. (Despite my husband's scrunched up face.) It is also very hard for me not to chop of the ends of my hair that are still fully relaxed. Especially when I'm tryna get a fly little afro puff goin and they just stick out straight.

arrrrrgh! Right before my wedding in September I let my old stylist cut 3-4 inches of ends cuz they were just lookin scraggly compared to all my healthy new growth and I remember being so happy they were gone. I still have some relaxed stuff but I'm gonna try and wait till I get pretty close to bra strap before cutting it off completely. (can't wait, can't wait!) The one thing I can't let go of is straightening my hair every one or 2 months so I can see just how much progress I've made. But other than that I'm either in braids that I do myself, or protective styles of some sort. I can't wait for the day I can go out rockin a HUGE afro that folks will think is a wig!

 

[Irresistible]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

[ QUOTE ]
imsovain said:
I can't believe I'm saying this... I'm gonna stop relaxing my hair and go natural. I just KNOW that my natural hair is beautiful, because that's the hair God gave me.

[/ QUOTE ]

that was just so kewl to read!!!!

 

[Softress]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

OOOHHH MMMYYY GGGOOODDDNNNEEESSS!!! Irrestistable, your hair is beautiful!!! Must go natural... must go natural... must go natural!!!

 

[Irresistible]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

very kewel Ennyaa, its just a matter of time. one of the hardest things is waiting for hair to grow its like watching the pot for the water to boil, and it never does ..it can drive you mad...but in time it does get there.

 

[Irresistible]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

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Softress said:
OOOHHH MMMYYY GGGOOODDDNNNEEESSS!!! Irrestistable, your hair is beautiful!!! Must go natural... must go natural... must go natural!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

THANK YOU GIRL!!! DO IT ...DO IT....DO IT!!!

 

[Softress]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

I have been working the idea around in my head for a while now. My hair has always been really soft and my new growth is always very managable (especially since lurking around this site!). I think I am just afraid to get off the "creamy crack!"

 

[babyblue]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

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swayback23 said:
Most who think about transitioning only want to if they will have long "wavy" 3a/**** hair. They can't mentally deal with the idea that it might be kinky, nappy, shrinking, classically afro textured hair. Which is what the majority of Black people women are gonna find under all the chemically straightened relaxer.

[/ QUOTE ]

So very true swayback.

btw Irresistable you have beautiful hair

 

[Irresistible]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

[ QUOTE ]
babyblue said:
[ QUOTE ]
swayback23 said:
Most who think about transitioning only want to if they will have long "wavy" 3a/**** hair. They can't mentally deal with the idea that it might be kinky, nappy, shrinking, classically afro textured hair. Which is what the majority of Black people women are gonna find under all the chemically straightened relaxer.

[/ QUOTE ]

So very true swayback.

btw Irresistable you have beautiful hair

[/ QUOTE ]

thank you babyblue

Swayback that might be true for some, but if anyone is a part of this group and any of the other groups out there, they are gonna be exposed to all types of natural hair and get to see , how it is, what it does, what it looks like, how it grows, etc. thats why so many of us take pics and share them...to inspire others and with so many different hair types we all need to be taking pics and putting them up all over the net like we like so many have so others can get a wide variety of images of natural hair. some of it will truly sprout out a head kinkiest/coiliest , and just honestly (just expressing my own opinion here) i would take the coiliest , kinkiest, tightest natural hair before i would take that kind of fragile hair and relax it. ive seen many many beautiful heads of afro textured hair...as a matter of fact on my group i broke out a childhood pic to show that i too had a fro. lol....i hated the pic, but i loved the fro...so much better to have a fro than to have fried damaged hair , thats how i see it anyway ....now if i could of managed the relaxer without the damage like ive seen some others do, that would be another story, but i reached a point where it didnt matter what came out of my head, it had to beat the damage i had for years that only got worse and worse.

 

[L80sbabygirl]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

Irresistible, I can't get into your albums, but from what I see, your hair looks healthy. I think if anyone is considering going natural, they should think about why they're doing it. Is it b/c you expect it to look a certain way? Is it for healthier hair, etc.? Whatever the reason, being natural is about accepting your hair the way it is no matter what the texture. I looked through a lot of photo albums before I went natural and I admired the healthiness, strength and versatility of natural hair. I did not have any expectations of what my hair was to look like. I also read a lot about how to take care of natural hair, and I think that's key. The most important thing is not to treat natural hair like it's relaxed hair; it will shrink if it's typical AA hair, so don't expect it to be flowing down your back once it grows. Good luck to whatever you decide.

 

[Ayeshia]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

I love your hair!!!!!! I think we have simialr hair types but as mines grow out it may be frizzier than yours. I love my curlz and Im happy I went natural. I did the big chop in November. Please join Fotki Its free. Cuz I would like to see your hair up close. Maybe the album will be working tomorrow

 

[Irresistible]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

[ QUOTE ]
Salsybabe said:
Irresistible, I can't get into your albums, but from what I see, your hair looks healthy. I think if anyone is considering going natural, they should think about why they're doing it. Is it b/c you expect it to look a certain way? Is it for healthier hair, etc.? Whatever the reason, being natural is about accepting your hair the way it is no matter what the texture. I looked through a lot of photo albums before I went natural and I admired the healthiness, strength and versatility of natural hair. I did not have any expectations of what my hair was to look like. I also read a lot about how to take care of natural hair, and I think that's key. The most important thing is not to treat natural hair like it's relaxed hair; it will shrink if it's typical AA hair, so don't expect it to be flowing down your back once it grows. Good luck to whatever you decide.

[/ QUOTE ]

girl i am natural....ten years now...i was talking about others going natural like you just did lol......yeah i dont know whats up with yahoo, my link has been working on and off here and there today.

 

[Irresistible]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

[ QUOTE ]
ayeshia said:
I love your hair!!!!!! I think we have simialr hair types but as mines grow out it may be frizzier than yours. I love my curlz and Im happy I went natural. I did the big chop in November. Please join Fotki Its free. Cuz I would like to see your hair up close. Maybe the album will be working tomorrow

[/ QUOTE ]

thank you...i will go ahead and join Fotki, cause yahoo is really trippin...i have most of the same pics on my group in the photo section too
http://photos.groups.yahoo.com/group/longblackhaircare/
the only pics not uploaded there yet are the twists pics.

btw , i get all the frizz too, almost all the natural (unpressed) pics i have are taken with some conditioner in it thats helping to lay it down.

 

[jetcitygirl]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

Beautiful hair Irresistible! Thanks for sharing your regimen & pics.

 

[DelightfulFlame]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

[ QUOTE ]
Irresistible said:
Thank you Kerplunky, when i went natural ten years ago, it wasnt because i was inspired by anyones pics....and there was no way in hell i thought for one second natural would be beautiful (not kidding) i had no clue what to do with my hair, with no weaves (yup i wore them) and no relaxer...pressing all the time wasnt an option....i couldnt even fit my hair in a pony tail...i didnt have boards to go to , to get advice on how to manage it , what products to use, nothing...i was seriously on my own. but i had the most important reason for being natural ever , that made me stick it out and keep at it till i figured out what worked and what didnt and how to manage it...and that reason was MY HAIR WAS JACKED UP BADLY WITH RELAXERS , and i couldnt go back...i stumbled on conditioner washes years ago....long before it had a name that i knew of. i did it all alone and it was all a new discovery, i was a product junkie before i knew what that was called too lol.....it was rough at times, but i had no other choices the way i saw it.....so anyone looking at my pics and admiring them, just know that your hair may not look exactly like mine ,but i too started out not knowing what to expect at all.... but the most imporant point my pics can make (especailly if you could see any before pics of my damaged hair) is that natural hair can truly be healthy and grow long and thick...(mine never ever did that with a relaxer ) and although there are different limits on natural hair than relaxed, the important thing IS that its healthy.

[/ QUOTE ]

Your hair is gorgeous, and this sounds so much like my life (except I have help from hair boards). Very inspiring!

 

[qtpi]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

WooooW!!! Such beautiful hair!! I'm envious because I'd love to have hair like that, but glad for you that you found what works best for you. You go girl!! To all others considering going naturl, love it, grow it, sport it proudly. Oh, don't forget to share what works best on different types of hair ( smile)

 

[swayback23]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

[ QUOTE ]
Irresistible said:
[ QUOTE ]
babyblue said:
[ QUOTE ]
swayback23 said:
Most who think about transitioning only want to if they will have long "wavy" 3a/**** hair. They can't mentally deal with the idea that it might be kinky, nappy, shrinking, classically afro textured hair. Which is what the majority of Black people women are gonna find under all the chemically straightened relaxer.

[/ QUOTE ]

So very true swayback.

btw Irresistable you have beautiful hair

[/ QUOTE ]

thank you babyblue

Swayback that might be true for some, but if anyone is a part of this group and any of the other groups out there, they are gonna be exposed to all types of natural hair and get to see , how it is, what it does, what it looks like, how it grows, etc. thats why so many of us take pics and share them...to inspire others and with so many different hair types we all need to be taking pics and putting them up all over the net like we like so many have so others can get a wide variety of images of natural hair. some of it will truly sprout out a head kinkiest/coiliest , and just honestly (just expressing my own opinion here) i would take the coiliest , kinkiest, tightest natural hair before i would take that kind of fragile hair and relax it. ive seen many many beautiful heads of afro textured hair...as a matter of fact on my group i broke out a childhood pic to show that i too had a fro. lol....i hated the pic, but i loved the fro...so much better to have a fro than to have fried damaged hair , thats how i see it anyway .... <font color="red"> </font> , but i reached a point where it didnt matter what came out of my head, it had to beat the damage i had for years that only got worse and worse.

[/ QUOTE ]

You have lovely hair, first off.

Second, relaxed hair is damaged hair by definition. The bonds of the hair are BROKEN to make it straight. Simple truth. Then, protein, and conditioners are slathered on to repair what is broken, and to keep it from breaking completely off. Some can hold on, some can't. You can never repair the damage, only temporarily fix it (over and over).

Third, if most African American women could acheive the "holy grail" of long straight hair with a simple blowout, instead of chemicals, I think a hell of alot would, unfortunately. Those with 3a/b textured, wavy, wavy hair can do that. So, abstaining from the relaxer doesn't seem like a huge transition to me when you don't need one in the first place if straight hair is the goal. 3a/b hair has never been villified, mocked, and hated. As a matter of fact, many straight haired women perm their hair to get those precious waves and curls. I don't see many Black women running out trying to kink their hair up to 4B (not counting those sad attempts by some Caucasians and Asians to "loc" their hair...shudder).

If most Black women "go natural" (trendiness implied on purpose), they aren't going to find your texture of hair on their heads. That's just it. So I say keep it real. Stop relaxing because its damaging, stop relaxing because lye (in all lye and "no lye" forms) is a dangerous chemical, stop relaxing cause it makes no sense to need gloves to protect your hands from something you put on your head (duh?), stop relaxing because it burns your scalp and skin, stop relaxing because straight, blowing, breezy, swinging, fried, and died hair isn't the "end all be all" of beauty.

 

[sweetpea5000]

Re: Never Thought I\'d Consider The \"N\" Word

Irresistable...your hair is gorgeous!!

I looked at your album a while back, and when I first saw the pics with you in the cap, I did a double take...you looked like me!! I had to go to the closeups to make sure you weren't my twin. With the cap and the side ponytail(mine with extensions though!)....It kind of freaked me out. Crazy!

Anyways, your pics are so inspiring, and so is your story...you give me hope, girl!!!