Never thought I'd be one of those girls...

misskris816

Well-Known Member
..who would put up with so much crap from a man.

The past couple of months, I've admittingly been rather stupid. For some reason, most of my friends come to me for life and relationship advice. For some reason, they think I have it all together. Well, I don't always make the best decisions either.

I have been casually dating this guy for the last 4 months...umm, we'll call him Bob. Our chemistry is off the chain, so much in fact that I've never felt this kind of sexual chemistry with any other man. We started off casual and spend several days a week together going out to eat and watching movies at my place or his. Bob is also known as a 'ladies man'. At first I didn't care because I didn't want anything from him other than..well, you know.

Bob claimed that he wasn't sleeping with any other women but in my heart, I couldn't trust it. Anyway, I spend the night at Bob's house and he wakes up early in the morning to go work out at the gym before going to work. (Mistake 1, don't leave a woman alone in your house and think she won't go snooping.) I am looking through Bob's nightstand drawer and underneath his pile of socks I find his old cellphone that he just got deactivated a few weeks prior. Naturally, I turn the phone on and start reading his old text messages. I find a text message that he sent to one of his guy friends while he was at the Lake that says, "I found a couple of sluts for us tonight."
predatory.gif
WTF

Next, I read his incoming text messages and find messages such as "are you asking me for a **** or for a date?" , and "I won't go to Florida with you, you have to meet my mom first.", and "I want to touch you in naughty places", and "I can't wait! I'll bring my toys." Oh, did I mention that all of these are from different women?
I felt stupid, I should have known. I was mad at him but I also had to take responsibility for myself. I knew he was a ladies man, what did I really expect from him? I confronted him on it, he denied it, then admitted to sleeping with 1 woman...never fessed up to the others. Later he sent me an e-mail apologizing for how it made me feel, but not for his actions. Sorry dude, I don't need your tired apology. I told him not to contact me again.

A week later Bob calls back and wants to come over to talk. I reluctantly agree. It was a Friday night, I had no plans, whatever. He comes over and as a act of penance, he brings me a bottle of wine titled B!tch 2007, and a 4 pack of Sugar Free Red Bull. I guess he forgot that I hate Red Bull and my energy drink of choice is Rooster Booster Lite from Quik Trip. Maybe he confused me with Christie-Bigtits from his contact list.

We have a glass of B!tch 2007 and I basically let him have it. I told him that no, we cannot be friends. Either he's going to step up his game and treat me the way that I desire or we're not going to talk at all. He says that he wants to "make things work" and says that he wants us both to be open with our feelings whether they are negative or positive. I was weary and decided to proceed with caution. I wanted to believe him.

The next week he calls me on Tuesday night (4th of July was on Friday) and we talk for a few minutes. He mentions that he's going back to the Lake for the 4th of July weekend. He doesn't call me the entire time he's there. Funny thing is, I go on his myspace page and there's a comment from a bikini clad girl saying 'Sure, a trip to the Lake sounds fun!'. No wonder he never called. I don't know what I was expecting, perhaps even a simple text on the 4th saying, 'Happy 4th of July, go **** yourself." would have been better than nothing. Again, this is a man who says he wants to "make it work" and then I don't hear from him. He finally calls on Sunday, we talk and he admits that he made out with a random girl. Yeah right, we're not in middle school anymore. I'm pretty sure he screwed her. I tell him to not call my anymore.

This Friday I receive a call at 2:45 A.M. and he says, "Krista, will you please come save me?" This is codeword for " I'm a drunk idiot, i've probably sh*t on myself and need a ride home." I say "no" and get off the phone. He calls back and pleads with me, says he thinks he's going to get in trouble, and like a weak little ******, I agree. Actually, my parents always taught me to never leave anyone stranded, even if you despise them. I kept hearing that in my head, so I rolled out of bed and drove 20 mintues to the Plaza to pick him up at 3:15 in the morning. He's visibly drunk and looks quite pathetic actually. I take him to his house and go inside to make sure he gets in bed safely. I help him undress and get ready for bed, and it almost felt as if I had a child. I can tell that he's going to say something and I assume he's going to thank me for picking him up. Instead he says, "Can I touch your box?"
determined.gif


His way of thanking me? He grabs a hold of my jeans and tries to force them down, rips my shirt as he's trying grab onto me and all the while says, "What the ****, we were never committed." And he still thinks I'm going to give it up? Such a fool. Naked and drunk, he falls off the bed trying to grab me again. I took all the sheets off the bed, threw them on top of him, and left. By the time I got home, it was 5 A.M. and had to be up in 40 minutes.

Friday morning he sends me a text that says, "Thanks for saving me Krista". I don't respond. He calls me during lunch, I don't respond.
I almost want to tell him that I felt violated, but it wouldn't matter. Ugh.

I consider myself to be an intelligent person, but you wouldn't know it based on reading above. It's easy for me to tell him to leave me alone and not to contact me, but it's difficult to stay strong and not let him back in. However, I think this was the final straw.
 
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All I can say is this guy is definitely a player and not bf material. Unfortunately, with most women eventhough we go into a situation thinking we know what we want, when you add sex into the equation you give that man apart of yourself, which can lead to all types of unwanted emotions. Stand your ground and let him go. Don't beat yourself up about the situation, life is full of all kinds of experiences, just learn from them and keep it moving.
 
You know what, you are not "one of those girls" he is "one of those guys". Thank goodness you found all this out early on vs. later on when your heart strings became stronger for him. I have such a problem with this sh*t, when I hear about Men or Women cheating or playing someone, it pisses me off. My thing is, tell the truth up front and let the other person decide IF they want to pursue a relationship with you but don't lie!!!!!! GRRR. :wallbash:

Can't tell u what to do but I don't like the fact that he was trying to rip off your damn clothes after you went to pick his tired *** up. Girl, walk away from this guy because he sounds like bad news. He is probably telling other girls the same mess he is telling you.

I guess he forgot that I hate Red Bull and my energy drink of choice is Rooster Booster Lite from Quik Trip. Maybe he confused me with Christie-Bigtits from his contact list.
:lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:"why did u have me rolling when I read that?"
 
It sounds to me like you started off okay being friends with benefits, but caught feelings somewhere along the way. Maybe when it was put in your face that there were other females- even though you suspected there were from the jump anyway.

I wouldn't beat myself up too much. Like the song says "everybody plays the fool sometime". Just don't continue to be the fool.

(((HUGS)))
 
We've all been "one of those girls" at some time or another. Glad you saw him for who he really is. An ex tried the whole "please come save me" thing on me and I thought he honestly needed my help and went to find him in a similar state to your ex (too many similarities in that story).

Based on his behaviour, you will be completely justified if next time he needs "saving" you just reject his calls and get your beauty sleep. He seriously does not deserve your time. Do not even answer his calls to hear is sorry ass explanations, he will only try to make excuses and have you second guessing yourself.
 
First of all, thank you ladies for responding. I know it's a long thread and you deserve kudos for making it to the very end, LOL. Oh, did I mention this man is 46? I'm 25. I don't know, but he should have been grateful I even payed his old behind any attention in the first place. :rolleyes:

Stand your ground and let him go. Don't beat yourself up about the situation, life is full of all kinds of experiences, just learn from them and keep it moving.

Thank you, and I believe that you're absolutely right. I can definitely say I won't allow anyone to treat me like this again.

Join the club, you aint the first or the last.

Hugs to you.

Thank you:yawn:

You know what, you are not "one of those girls" he is "one of those guys". Thank goodness you found all this out early on vs. later on when your heart strings became stronger for him. I have such a problem with this sh*t, when I hear about Men or Women cheating or playing someone, it pisses me off. My thing is, tell the truth up front and let the other person decide IF they want to pursue a relationship with you but don't lie!!!!!! GRRR. :wallbash:

Can't tell u what to do but I don't like the fact that he was trying to rip off your damn clothes after you went to pick his tired *** up. Girl, walk away from this guy because he sounds like bad news. He is probably telling other girls the same mess he is telling you.

Exactly, and that's what I told him from day 1. Be honest, you're not going to hurt my feelings.
 
First of all, thank you ladies for responding. I know it's a long thread and you deserve kudos for making it to the very end, LOL. Oh, did I mention this man is 46? I'm 25. I don't know, but he should have been grateful I even payed his old behind any attention in the first place. :rolleyes:

quote]


You've got to be kidding..he's 46? :perplexed Don't beat yourself up. We've ALL been there.
 
First of all, thank you ladies for responding. I know it's a long thread and you deserve kudos for making it to the very end, LOL. Oh, did I mention this man is 46? I'm 25. I don't know, but he should have been grateful I even payed his old behind any attention in the first place. :rolleyes:

:blush: AH NO!! This one has no hope, he'll keep messing till his ding-a-ling falls off.
 
Oh I have been there! Got caught up with some good dizzle. I'm sure a lot of us can say we have. You seem like such a nice person to have to deal with that stuff. Lets face it, if you continue to be in contact with him like that, he will eventually bring out your "Inner Ike" and you don't want that. Well if you let him "back in the box".... he will continue his triflin ways because he already told you/showed you he was messing with someone else. I think since you have emotions rapped up in this fool, he knows it and will continue to try to contact you and wear you down till he's back in the same position. My opinion is to RUN GIRL RUN! And don't even get me started on ripping your outfit trying to get him some!!!!!!!!!:nono: UNACCEPTABLE sounds like borderline rape to me!
 
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Girl, don't beat yourself up about it. We've ALL been there...maybe not this exact situation, but certainly a similar and equally dumb situation.

Start the process of closure by closing your legs. No last time, no oral only, no just let me put the head in one last time, NOTHING. Period. Dot. The End.

He is so not worth your time or energy so just be glad you figured things out early on. First off, you fell for the d**k...then you fell for the trick. Better yet, you slipped and fell in love... (lust :rolleyes:) with a booty call - Mistake #1. I'm not going to really harp on the whole timing issue (sex, over nights, going through phone all within a 4 month period) other than to say, A LOT happened in the 4 months but what's done is done - lesson learned. It is going to be hard but you have to let this fool go. Change his name in your phone to "Don't Answer", delete his email address, forget his address...hell remove him from your top friends if you have to :rolleyes: (got this one from my niece). If he calls you from another number, as soon as you hear his voice...hang up! Give him up cold turkey!

Now, if you fall for the trick again and maintain contact with this fool..I'ma hafta blame you then.
 
Girl, don't beat yourself up about it. We've ALL been there...maybe not this exact situation, but certainly a similar and equally dumb situation.

Start the process of closure by closing your legs. No last time, no oral only, no just let me put the head in one last time, NOTHING. Period. Dot. The End.

He is so not worth your time or energy so just be glad you figured things out early on. First off, you fell for the d**k...then you fell for the trick. Better yet, you slipped and fell in love... (lust :rolleyes:) with a booty call - Mistake #1. I'm not going to really harp on the whole timing issue (sex, over nights, going through phone all within a 4 month period) other than to say, A LOT happened in the 4 months but what's done is done - lesson learned. It is going to be hard but you have to let this fool go. Change his name in your phone to "Don't Answer", delete his email address, forget his address...hell remove him from your top friends if you have to :rolleyes: (got this one from my niece). If he calls you from another number, as soon as you hear his voice...hang up! Give him up cold turkey!

Now, if you fall for the trick again and maintain contact with this fool..I'ma hafta blame you then.

There's nothing like tough love. :yep:
I removed him from my facebook and myspace accounts, as well as blocked him on both websites.
I changed his ringer to silent so that I'm not aware of when he calls, and he's currently listed as 'Scumbag'.
I have Outlook programmed so that his e-mails are automatically permanently deleted the moment they come through.

I haven't give it up in a few weeks and I won't do it again. There's no telling what that man has and my health is worth more than anything he could ever give me.
 
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Oh I have been there! Got caught up with some good dizzle. I'm sure a lot of us can say we have. You seem like such a nice person to have to deal with that stuff. Lets face it, if you continue to be in contact with him like that, he will eventually bring out your "Inner Ike" and you don't want that. Well if you let him "back in the box".... he will continue his triflin ways because he already told you/showed you he was messing with someone else. I think since you have emotions rapped up in this fool, he knows it and will continue to try to contact you and wear you down till he's back in the same position. My opinion is to RUN GIRL RUN! And don't even get me started on ripping your outfit trying to get him some!!!!!!!!!:nono: UNACCEPTABLE sounds like borderline rape to me!

Thanks Bermuda. I'm still beside myself with the whole clothes ripping situation too.

One day I will look back on this and not feel anything whatsoever, and I truly look forward to it. As for now, I'm going to be gone with the wind. Nothing positive will come of this if I choose to stick around.
 
All I can say is this guy is definitely a player and not bf material. Unfortunately, with most women eventhough we go into a situation thinking we know what we want, when you add sex into the equation you give that man apart of yourself, which can lead to all types of unwanted emotions. Stand your ground and let him go. Don't beat yourself up about the situation, life is full of all kinds of experiences, just learn from them and keep it moving.

ITA

There's nothing like tough love. :yep:
I removed him from my facebook and myspace accounts, as well as blocked him on both websites.
I changed his ringer to silent so that I'm aware of when he calls, and he's currently listed as 'Scumbag'.
I have Outlook programmed so that his e-mails are automatically permanently deleted the moment they come through.

I haven't give it up in a few weeks and I won't do it again. There's no telling what that man has and my health is worth more than anything he could ever give me.

Good girl! Keep this up. No contact with him.
 
Can't tell u what to do but I don't like the fact that he was trying to rip off your damn clothes after you went to pick his tired *** up. Girl, walk away from this guy because he sounds like bad news. He is probably telling other girls the same mess he is telling you.

Agreed. I would completely cut all ties. I mean never speak to him again, ever. Guys like that are bad news.:nono:
 
Wow...caught up huh. Good dyck does it everytime....hate to say it but it's true. Man, good dyck is a dangerous thing...have you shakin and speakin in tongues....it'll have you doing stupid stuff like thinking about it at work, ridin by his house to see if the lights on....callin and leavin messages.....showin up unexpected :lachen: looking for him in the daytime with FLOOD LIGHTS...swatting imaginary flies....have you actin like a straight up crack head...been there done that... I've learned my lesson though. Can't get caught up in the trick bag anymore... if it's good, and that good, he'll neva know....Now, I just treat them like the bi__ches they are....sad but true..and believe it or not..they love it....crazy as it sounds, but when u treat them like garbage, they LOVE you...go figure:ohwell:
 
..who would put up with so much crap from a man.

The past couple of months, I've admittingly been rather stupid. For some reason, most of my friends come to me for life and relationship advice. For some reason, they think I have it all together. Well, I don't always make the best decisions either.

I have been casually dating this guy for the last 4 months...umm, we'll call him Bob. Our chemistry is off the chain, so much in fact that I've never felt this kind of sexual chemistry with any other man. We started off casual and spend several days a week together going out to eat and watching movies at my place or his. Bob is also known as a 'ladies man'. At first I didn't care because I didn't want anything from him other than..well, you know.

Bob claimed that he wasn't sleeping with any other women but in my heart, I couldn't trust it. Anyway, I spend the night at Bob's house and he wakes up early in the morning to go work out at the gym before going to work. (Mistake 1, don't leave a woman alone in your house and think she won't go snooping.) I am looking through Bob's nightstand drawer and underneath his pile of socks I find his old cellphone that he just got deactivated a few weeks prior. Naturally, I turn the phone on and start reading his old text messages. I find a text message that he sent to one of his guy friends while he was at the Lake that says, "I found a couple of sluts for us tonight."
predatory.gif
WTF

Next, I read his incoming text messages and find messages such as "are you asking me for a **** or for a date?" , and "I won't go to Florida with you, you have to meet my mom first.", and "I want to touch you in naughty places", and "I can't wait! I'll bring my toys." Oh, did I mention that all of these are from different women?
I felt stupid, I should have known. I was mad at him but I also had to take responsibility for myself. I knew he was a ladies man, what did I really expect from him? I confronted him on it, he denied it, then admitted to sleeping with 1 woman...never fessed up to the others. Later he sent me an e-mail apologizing for how it made me feel, but not for his actions. Sorry dude, I don't need your tired apology. I told him not to contact me again.

A week later Bob calls back and wants to come over to talk. I reluctantly agree. It was a Friday night, I had no plans, whatever. He comes over and as a act of penance, he brings me a bottle of wine titled B!tch 2007, and a 4 pack of Sugar Free Red Bull. I guess he forgot that I hate Red Bull and my energy drink of choice is Rooster Booster Lite from Quik Trip. Maybe he confused me with Christie-Bigtits from his contact list.

We have a glass of B!tch 2007 and I basically let him have it. I told him that no, we cannot be friends. Either he's going to step up his game and treat me the way that I desire or we're not going to talk at all. He says that he wants to "make things work" and says that he wants us both to be open with our feelings whether they are negative or positive. I was weary and decided to proceed with caution. I wanted to believe him.

The next week he calls me on Tuesday night (4th of July was on Friday) and we talk for a few minutes. He mentions that he's going back to the Lake for the 4th of July weekend. He doesn't call me the entire time he's there. Funny thing is, I go on his myspace page and there's a comment from a bikini clad girl saying 'Sure, a trip to the Lake sounds fun!'. No wonder he never called. I don't know what I was expecting, perhaps even a simple text on the 4th saying, 'Happy 4th of July, go **** yourself." would have been better than nothing. Again, this is a man who says he wants to "make it work" and then I don't hear from him. He finally calls on Sunday, we talk and he admits that he made out with a random girl. Yeah right, we're not in middle school anymore. I'm pretty sure he screwed her. I tell him to not call my anymore.

This Friday I receive a call at 2:45 A.M. and he says, "Krista, will you please come save me?" This is codeword for " I'm a drunk idiot, i've probably sh*t on myself and need a ride home." I say "no" and get off the phone. He calls back and pleads with me, says he thinks he's going to get in trouble, and like a weak little ******, I agree. Actually, my parents always taught me to never leave anyone stranded, even if you despise them. I kept hearing that in my head, so I rolled out of bed and drove 20 mintues to the Plaza to pick him up at 3:15 in the morning. He's visibly drunk and looks quite pathetic actually. I take him to his house and go inside to make sure he gets in bed safely. I help him undress and get ready for bed, and it almost felt as if I had a child. I can tell that he's going to say something and I assume he's going to thank me for picking him up. Instead he says, "Can I touch your box?"
determined.gif


His way of thanking me? He grabs a hold of my jeans and tries to force them down, rips my shirt as he's trying grab onto me and all the while says, "What the ****, we were never committed." And he still thinks I'm going to give it up? Such a fool. Naked and drunk, he falls off the bed trying to grab me again. I took all the sheets off the bed, threw them on top of him, and left. By the time I got home, it was 5 A.M. and had to be up in 40 minutes.

Friday morning he sends me a text that says, "Thanks for saving me Krista". I don't respond. He calls me during lunch, I don't respond.
I almost want to tell him that I felt violated, but it wouldn't matter. Ugh.

I consider myself to be an intelligent person, but you wouldn't know it based on reading above. It's easy for me to tell him to leave me alone and not to contact me, but it's difficult to stay strong and not let him back in. However, I think this was the final straw.

I am sorry,
By reading your post very intenly and I feel violated by just reading this part. :wallbash: You got out of your bed to help this :censored: why he did not ask his other:censored: to help his sorry :censored:out. I would have :censored: him up for real! Where is he so I can punch and knock out his dumb :censored:. For real what goes around comes around.

I am glad you are okay and you got away. I would never speak to him again. Thank God for Divine Intervention. Again I am glad you are ok. :hug2:
 
Wow.

Such a nasty man. Sometimes I think that my old situations were bad... then I come on here and you all prove me wrong! yay! I am happy that you were strong to leave him. Now you can move on and grow longer hair with us!
 
yes we have all been there--i think at his age---a zebra wont change his stripes

there r way more fish in the sea and u deserve better we all do
 
Trust and believe I've done many stupid things myself. As a matter of fact I wouldn't label you one of those girls because you took action and you took it rather quickly.:yep: I'm glad you dropped that bum.
 
You know what, you are not "one of those girls" he is "one of those guys". Thank goodness you found all this out early on vs. later on when your heart strings became stronger for him. I have such a problem with this sh*t, when I hear about Men or Women cheating or playing someone, it pisses me off. My thing is, tell the truth up front and let the other person decide IF they want to pursue a relationship with you but don't lie!!!!!! GRRR. :wallbash:

Can't tell u what to do but I don't like the fact that he was trying to rip off your damn clothes after you went to pick his tired *** up. Girl, walk away from this guy because he sounds like bad news. He is probably telling other girls the same mess he is telling you.

:lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:"why did u have me rolling when I read that?"

I couldn't get past that either. :lachen::lachen::lachen:To the OP, leave him alone! You are in control of you, he sounds like he needs to grow the puck up. :yep:
 
He's a hot mess... and he's obvious. I would have him around for fun if I was in player mode, but since you're not that type of lady, keep it moving!
 
Hugs. Trust me, you are not the only woman who has been through this. Don't beat yourself up. :hug2:

But on the real, I would have been very forcefully told him he was replacing my blasted top he just rip. *as I take the money out of wallet in his face.* Then bounced leaving his drunk butt right there on the freaking floor.
 
There's nothing like tough love. :yep:
I removed him from my facebook and myspace accounts, as well as blocked him on both websites.
I changed his ringer to silent so that I'm not aware of when he calls, and he's currently listed as 'Scumbag'.
I have Outlook programmed so that his e-mails are automatically permanently deleted the moment they come through.

I haven't give it up in a few weeks and I won't do it again. There's no telling what that man has and my health is worth more than anything he could ever give me.

You did the right thing!!! And know this is hard to do.
 
I feel for you. It's hard to get out of a toxic relationship when the emotions are strong. Hopefully you'll completely pull away from him and find someone deserving.

"Bob" sounds sexy, but he's only good for sex. You deserve much more.
 
I just wanted to say that we've all been there so dont be so hard on yourself!! :yep:

You would think by 46 he'd would have gotten his act together.

Anyway sounds like you've got it under control now so kuddos to you!
 
First of all, thank you ladies for responding. I know it's a long thread and you deserve kudos for making it to the very end, LOL. Oh, did I mention this man is 46? I'm 25. I don't know, but he should have been grateful I even payed his old behind any attention in the first place. :rolleyes:



Thank you, and I believe that you're absolutely right. I can definitely say I won't allow anyone to treat me like this again.



Thank you:yawn:



Exactly, and that's what I told him from day 1. Be honest, you're not going to hurt my feelings.


Don't feel bad. I've been in the stupid state before with an very much older man and kind of still am. Just try to stay away from him until you are sure your feelings are gone and even then, you may find that you aren't able to just be "friends".
 
You "think" this was the final straw? :nono:

Also, how can you be mad at him when your gut told you to stay away? You knew what was going on.

Life go's on though and hopefully you remember this in your next relationship and it will make you a wiser and stronger person! Keep your head up!! Don't allow yourself to be a doormat/slut/ho/backup/slave/dummy (insert whatever you feel) next time.
 
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