Neith's First Setback - A cautionary tale

[Neith]

This is really hard for me to post...

Ladies... do not neglect your edges or your nape.

I dunno why, but I would rarely pay attention when I was moisturizing them.

I would get up, wet them, put some IC Fantasia Gel on them, brush them just a few strokes with a very soft brush, put a headband around them to keep them laying down and let them dry.

I would throw some jojoba oil on them at night sometimes.



I should have known.

I DID notice that my hair looked thin in the back as it was getting longer. I did notice that my edges were a little short/sparse. My hair is layered, that's why I thought it was thin at the ends. My edges and nape are naturally fine and fragile, so I didn't take notice of them slowly but surely breaking off.

Um. I feel dumb.

I got the camera out and really got a close look at what's going on...

Edges... just over an inch, but regular thickness. Nape... also just over an inch also, but very sparse.



I knew in the back of my mind I was neglecting them, but I thought since I have been relaxer free, they didn't need babying.



So, yeah. I'm venting.

I'm so desperate I'm going to start using MN every other day. Against my better judgement, lol.

On the days I don't use the MN I will use aloe vera gel and neem oil on my scalp.

I'm going to moisturize nightly, fingercoil them and keep them coated in castor oil 24/7. No brushing.

I'm okay with it. At least it's not very noticeable. I mean... I didn't even notice it until I sat down and really paid attention. They were always gelled down... I had no idea!!!!!!!!! Probably because I'm dumb.

Ah well. Think of this as a cautionary tale. Don't neglect your edges or nape, especially if they are fine... even if you are natural/going natural. I even assumed since my nape and edges were my looser/silkier parts that they didn't need as much care.

Pics - :

How could I not realize it you ask? This is how my hair looks done:

At this point, I was noticing that my edges were a little thin, but I didn't understand the severity of the situation.

I thought it was a little thin at the ends because of layers

I'm a loser aren't I? I'm a hair loser Feel free to laugh at me.

Should I cut it off?

 

[sevetlana]

I am so sorry you are going through this. Girl you aint dumb so stop calling your self that. Just baby them they will grow right back in, hair grows remember. I know it is hard right now, but pretty soon this will be a distant memory and you have all the info you will ever need to accomplish this. HGH.

 

[supermodelsonya]

I warned my twin the other day of this very thing. She's just into hair care and all but she was neglecting her nape and edges as well. Thanks for posting!

 

[mahogany_horizons]

Yeah, I agree, don't beat yourself up to harshly. Hair grows, and if you baby this hair, it'll be back in no time flat!

 

[SuchMagnificent]

I am so sorry to hear this.. Think of it as a learning experience because now you know what not to do. I am at the salon now hoping and praying she dont take a couple of inches off.

 

[Garner]

You do not need to beat yourself up for this!!! We all have had or will have setbacks. Your edges and nape will improve greatly sooner than you think. I know how hard this may have been to share but I know this will help others. Bless you.

 

[camilla]

OH I FEEL YOU PAIN IN AM RELAXED APL TRANSITIONING NY NAPE IS ABOUT TWO TO THREE INCHES LONG I WAS DOING THE SAME THING AND YOU ARE NOT STUPID!..LOL YOU HAVE I LOT OF HAIR LIKE ME SO I SEE WHERE IT IS HARD TO TELL MINE IS SLOWLY GROWING I HAVE BEEN MAKING SURE TO MOISTURIZE EDGES AND NAPE I LITTLE MORE THAN THE REST IT SEEMS LIKE THESE AREAS ARE DRYER THAT THE REST AND I AM USING MEGA TEK

PS DO NOT CUT YOUR HAIR ...LOL JUST GIVE IT EXTRA ATTENTION

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

You are NOT a loser !
Don't worry about the past, just learn from it. Your edges and nape will be where you want them again, I promise you!

 

[BlondeByDesire]

I had a problem with my nape a while ago - I used ORS carrot oil to moisterize that area and it helped out tremendously.

 

[ebonimama]

No do not cut them off. Do exactly as you said and baby them. I have very sparse edges and nape also. I neglected them and now I'm starting to think there is no hope for them. I've stopped relaxing them as straight as I use to and I'm using castor oil on them. I'm praying they will come back.

 

[Cassandra1975]

You are NOT a loser !
Don't worry about the past, just learn from it. Your edges and nape will be where you want them again, I promise you!

ITA!

It's gonna be ok. Now you know what to do, and you will grow those areas back in no time.

 

[bbdgirl]

stop calling yourself Dumb...this is not allowed on this forum. this is a positive learning place, we all make mistakes and slack off sometimes. We all have sensitive areas that require extra love and attention and we forget, get back in there. Tweak your regimen. And give your hair the special attention that it needs! We forgive you, lol!

 

[Finally Free]

This is really hard for me to post...

Ladies... do not neglect your edges or your nape.

I dunno why, but I would rarely pay attention when I was moisturizing them.

I would get up, wet them, put some IC Fantasia Gel on them, brush them just a few strokes with a very soft brush, put a headband around them to keep them laying down and let them dry.

I would throw some jojoba oil on them at night sometimes.



I should have known.

I DID notice that my hair looked thin in the back as it was getting longer. I did notice that my edges were a little short/sparse. My hair is layered, that's why I thought it was thin at the ends. My edges and nape are naturally fine and fragile, so I didn't take notice of them slowly but surely breaking off.

Um. I feel dumb.

I got the camera out and really got a close look at what's going on...

Edges... just over an inch, but regular thickness. Nape... also just over an inch also, but very sparse.



I knew in the back of my mind I was neglecting them, but I thought since I have been relaxer free, they didn't need babying.



So, yeah. I'm venting.

I'm so desperate I'm going to start using MN every other day. Against my better judgement, lol.

On the days I don't use the MN I will use aloe vera gel and neem oil on my scalp.

I'm going to moisturize nightly, fingercoil them and keep them coated in castor oil 24/7. No brushing.

I'm okay with it. At least it's not very noticeable. I mean... I didn't even notice it until I sat down and really paid attention. They were always gelled down... I had no idea!!!!!!!!! Probably because I'm dumb.

Ah well. Think of this as a cautionary tale. Don't neglect your edges or nape, especially if they are fine... even if you are natural/going natural. I even assumed since my nape and edges were my looser/silkier parts that they didn't need as much care.

Pics - :

How could I not realize it you ask? This is how my hair looks done:

At this point, I was noticing that my edges were a little thin, but I didn't understand the severity of the situation.

I thought it was a little thin at the ends because of layers

I'm a loser aren't I? I'm a hair loser Feel free to laugh at me.

Should I cut it off?

Hi Neith,
I'm sorry to see that you have had a minor setback, but don't beat yourself up about it, we all neglect our hair from time to time. Just baby those areas and lay off the gels and use oils or grease instead (REMEMBER NO GEL, BRUSHING, Combing & Be Careful Not To Tie Your Hair Down Too Tight) Use your finger tips to massage your scalp and for combouts. Oh, and you BEDNOT cut that Beautiful hair of yours!!!
Good Luck & God Bless!!!

 

[the_UnPrettiest_pretty]

This is really hard for me to post...

Ladies... do not neglect your edges or your nape.

I dunno why, but I would rarely pay attention when I was moisturizing them.

I would get up, wet them, put some IC Fantasia Gel on them, brush them just a few strokes with a very soft brush, put a headband around them to keep them laying down and let them dry.

I would throw some jojoba oil on them at night sometimes.



I should have known.

I DID notice that my hair looked thin in the back as it was getting longer. I did notice that my edges were a little short/sparse. My hair is layered, that's why I thought it was thin at the ends. My edges and nape are naturally fine and fragile, so I didn't take notice of them slowly but surely breaking off.

Um. I feel dumb.
Honey, you are not dumb!!! You just made a mistake, lots of us do. The good thing is that you caught it, learned from it, and are willing to do better to prevent it from happening again.

I got the camera out and really got a close look at what's going on...

Edges... just over an inch, but regular thickness. Nape... also just over an inch also, but very sparse.



I knew in the back of my mind I was neglecting them, but I thought since I have been relaxer free, they didn't need babying.



So, yeah. I'm venting.

I'm so desperate I'm going to start using MN every other day. Against my better judgement, lol.

On the days I don't use the MN I will use aloe vera gel and neem oil on my scalp.

I'm going to moisturize nightly, fingercoil them and keep them coated in castor oil 24/7. No brushing.

I'm okay with it. At least it's not very noticeable. I mean... I didn't even notice it until I sat down and really paid attention. They were always gelled down... I had no idea!!!!!!!!! Probably because I'm dumb.
Again, you are not dumb. Stop saying that about yourself, it does nothing but lower your self-esteem.

Ah well. Think of this as a cautionary tale. Don't neglect your edges or nape, especially if they are fine... even if you are natural/going natural. I even assumed since my nape and edges were my looser/silkier parts that they didn't need as much care.

Pics - :

How could I not realize it you ask? This is how my hair looks done:

At this point, I was noticing that my edges were a little thin, but I didn't understand the severity of the situation.

I thought it was a little thin at the ends because of layers

I'm a loser aren't I? I'm a hair loser Feel free to laugh at me.
You are NOT a loser!!! And why would anyone laugh at your setbacks? Really, you're being too hard on yourself, and it's not that serious. It's a minor bump in the road on your journey, and you can overcome it. With a little babying and some TLC, your nape and edges will bounce back in no time.

Should I cut it off?
Nope, just suck it up and find ways to correct the problem. It CAN be done.

You really shouldn't be so harsh with yourself honey. We're here to support you and help you get back on track from your unfortunate setback. So with that said, I'm offering you lots of hugs!!!

 

[Muse]

Thanks for coming forward and sharing this you are helping a lot of people with this info including myself. I am guessing just cutting out the gel alone will be a big help. For what it's worth your hair is still gorgeous!

 

[Determined22]

I was having a similar problem when I first came to the board. I would always part my hair on my left side, and I noticed that my edges on that side were all short and broken off. It was the stress of constantly parting on that side and brushing the hair down. Now I'm much more careful about brushing and I dont part anymore.

 

[tatiana]

Do you think wearing a headband could have also been the culprit? I assuming you wore one everyday. Looking at your damage; it looks like headband damage.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

It's ok... they will grow back. I understand exactly what you are talking about... my edges and nape are damaged as well, though they are doing much better now. Weaves tore my edges UP. And here I was trying to do them as a protective style.

When I saw a pic of myself from about 8 years ago I was shocked. Even though I relaxed bone straight every 6 weeks and almost nothing to care for my hair, my edges were thick and full. After weaves, my hairline was in terrible shape. But now, after babying them for a while, they are heading back to normal.

I know your nape and edges will bounce back from this.

ETA: I your texture!

 

[BostonMaria]

stop calling yourself Dumb...this is not allowed on this forum. this is a positive learning place, we all make mistakes and slack off sometimes. We all have sensitive areas that require extra love and attention and we forget, get back in there. Tweak your regimen. And give your hair the special attention that it needs! We forgive you, lol!

Yeah stop calling yourself dumb or we'll ban you

Do you think it was the gel or the tight headband that caused the setback? I'm truly sorry! I know that with some TLC those edges will be back to normal in no time.

 

[baby42]

DONT be so hard on your self. you and i are in the same boat.i am starting to baby mine more one of my temples just left.and i thought i was takeing good care of them.

 

[locabouthair]

Don't cut it. It's not that bad.

I neglect my edges and I think notice, they are kinda short.

I'm sorry this happened to you but it's not too bad.

 

[lovenharmony]

Oh please Neith, your nape hair will be back in no time, don't call yourself dumb! You're one of the most knowledgable ladies on this hair board. You know what you did wrong, and you know what you have to do to get your hair to pop lock and drop it!

 

[Tamrin]

I'm so sorry that happened to you Do not cut them. Come join us in the Grow Back Your Edges Challenge.


LDTP

 

[CenteredGirl]

The way you set it up I thought it was AWFUL hair breakageerplexed. But it's totally salvageable. You caught it BEFORE balding, so hey, kudos for you. They will snap back in no time.

Thanks for the heads up.

 

[Neith]

Thanks for the support and kind words everyone! (and don't do what I did!)

I still feel dumb, but I'll lay off on myself lol. I just can't believe I didn't even realize until now.

Do you think wearing a headband could have also been the culprit? I assuming you wore one everyday. Looking at your damage; it looks like headband damage.

Yeah stop calling yourself dumb or we'll ban you

Do you think it was the gel or the tight headband that caused the setback? I'm truly sorry! I know that with some TLC those edges will be back to normal in no time.

I think it was everything... the headband, the not moisturizing enough, the brushing and the gel.

I'm so sorry that happened to you Do not cut them. Come join us in the Grow Back Your Edges Challenge.


LDTP

I think I will join

 

[wheezy807]

Please don't go cutting your hair off! The important thing is that you've discovered what has happened and you know what you need to do to correct it. BTW, your texture is so beautiful to me! *HUG*

 

[DDTexlaxed]

Aw, Neith, your hair still looks so pretty. Don't fret. Your nape will catch up and your edges. Put a good dose of castor oil on them before bed and give yourself a good scalp massage daily. It just needs an extra dose of moisture and TLC.

 

[GabbanaGirl]

This is really hard for me to post...

Ladies... do not neglect your edges or your nape.

I dunno why, but I would rarely pay attention when I was moisturizing them.

I would get up, wet them, put some IC Fantasia Gel on them, brush them just a few strokes with a very soft brush, put a headband around them to keep them laying down and let them dry.

I would throw some jojoba oil on them at night sometimes.



I should have known.

I DID notice that my hair looked thin in the back as it was getting longer. I did notice that my edges were a little short/sparse. My hair is layered, that's why I thought it was thin at the ends. My edges and nape are naturally fine and fragile, so I didn't take notice of them slowly but surely breaking off.

Um. I feel dumb.

I got the camera out and really got a close look at what's going on...

Edges... just over an inch, but regular thickness. Nape... also just over an inch also, but very sparse.



I knew in the back of my mind I was neglecting them, but I thought since I have been relaxer free, they didn't need babying.



So, yeah. I'm venting.

I'm so desperate I'm going to start using MN every other day. Against my better judgement, lol.

On the days I don't use the MN I will use aloe vera gel and neem oil on my scalp.

I'm going to moisturize nightly, fingercoil them and keep them coated in castor oil 24/7. No brushing.

I'm okay with it. At least it's not very noticeable. I mean... I didn't even notice it until I sat down and really paid attention. They were always gelled down... I had no idea!!!!!!!!! Probably because I'm dumb.

Ah well. Think of this as a cautionary tale. Don't neglect your edges or nape, especially if they are fine... even if you are natural/going natural. I even assumed since my nape and edges were my looser/silkier parts that they didn't need as much care.

Pics - :

How could I not realize it you ask? This is how my hair looks done:

At this point, I was noticing that my edges were a little thin, but I didn't understand the severity of the situation.

I thought it was a little thin at the ends because of layers

I'm a loser aren't I? I'm a hair loser Feel free to laugh at me.

Should I cut it off?

Girl, you are not a loser. Look at it this way, you diagnosed a problem, and now you are able to correct it by giving your edges and nape the TLC it needs. With a little TLC, those issues will be a thing of the past! Our hair regimen just like anything else, is a learning process, there wouldn't be much knowledge attained if we didn't make mistakes time to time, for it is the mistakes that make us more ingenius!

 

[winnettag]

Neith, you know dagone well you aren't dumb or a hair loser...all the tips you've given out to everyone.
This happens to all of us at some point or another! I remember watching Chicoro's tutorials in fotki and she realized after viewing her own pics that she was neglecting her nape too! It's good you noticed now before it was too late.
I had damage that went unnoticed until I had a smooth bald spot right in the front of my head! Before you know it, they'll be back to normal with that plan of attack you have.

ETA: Um, you better not cut anything! lol

 

[itismehmmkay]

Girl, I was just about to start a thread about how I almost hated my hair today.

I had recently noticed that my sides were breaking (from the clips when rolling at night) and went and got the back cut up to my sides. So I have a cute lil blunt cut bob. Well, then for some reason I decided to oil my scalp and took all the movement out of my hair Last night I went ahead and washed it, let it airdry overnight (which I've done no problem in the pass) and it was looking straight up crazy and short and I got a better look with what my breakage looked like. I was seriously like "What in the hell did I do".

But I went ahead used heat to relax the curls a bit and my little style is looking cute right now. At first though, I was really trippin.

I still feel as if this is a mini setback for me and I'll have to take some care to work on those sides and rest of my edges.