Negative comment about natural hair(long)

[BW1]

I want your opinion about this. Maybe, I am naive i don't know. I made an assumption about someone because they were from Africa.

Saturday, I went to get my hair braided. I have been transitioning for about 4 months and I asked the girl who braids by hair If I cut my hair off at this length would she be able to grab it. Her response was to wait until it is a certain length (she showed about what length in mirror). So another lady in the salon ask me why do I want to go natural and how am I going to wear my hair if I go natural. Before i could respond the girl (Nigerian) who braids my hair said I can twist, cornrow,bantu knot etc....
So, the other ladies' response was I can't do natural I have to have straight hair (relaxed). I said well you came out of the wound with natural hair. Her response was that is when I was a baby it is cute when you are a baby, but not when you are an adult. I didn't say anything after that because I am going to do what I want to do. The reason why I say maybe I am naive is because the lady that made negative comments is from Africa (Ghana,I think) I would think since she is grew up in Africa that she would be more open or accepting of a person wearing their natural hair texture. Please school me about this. I hope I did not offend anyone for making this assumption. I really want to understand why one would feel this way especially when they grew up in Africa.

BTW-I will upload pics later.

 

[SignatureBeauty]

It is just ignorance! Just keep doing what you doing.

 

[caligirl]

The African women that I have seen mostly wear braided extensions. The only African women I have seen wearing their hair natural a lot is Ethiopian women. They wear a lot of fros, cornrows, etc.

 

[jasmine26]

i don't want to generalize but i had a similar experience. before going on a vacation, i wanted braids. i went in to an african braid shop, and asked the braider if she could fit me in for the next day and if she could braid short hair.
she said she could. i had about shoulder length hair, but i was transitioning. i wanted to quickly get rid of my relaxed ends and planned on doing the big chop. When i got home, i cut my hair to a TWA. The next day when the braider saw my new short natural hair, she was so shocked and almost disgusted that i cut my hair. she kept asking me in disbelief why i cut my hair, why i wanted natural hair, and during braiding kept complaining about how short my hair was and how it was so hard for her to braid it. and the other braiders would come over in shocked disbelief that i was now rocking a TWA. They would talk in their language, and i know they were talking about me but anyway, they were not at all receptive to the concept of someone rocking their natural hair! so, i can definitely relate to your story!

 

[Eiano]

Please believe it coming from a Ghanian with my family/friends comments.
Most Africans I know prefer straight hair. Just like the majority in any other black community, it's better to be Anglo.The ideal standards of beauty my female family members seem to prefer is what is in the states: relaxed straight with a slight curl or something to it.

Sorry that you assumed things would be different with Africans, but you must understand that when people come here from WHATEVER country, they will most likely try to conform to the standards of beauty here.

But hey, it's your hair... shoot..
..just brush your shoulders off and do you. I'm natural and deal with comments like this everyday.

 

[Super_Hero_Girl]

Black American women aren't the only ones still wearing shackles, the ignorance transends boarders.

 

[scorpian]

I want your opinion about this. Maybe, I am naive i don't know. I made an assumption about someone because they were from Africa.

Saturday, I went to get my hair braided. I have been transitioning for about 4 months and I asked the girl who braids by hair If I cut my hair off at this length would she be able to grab it. Her response was to wait until it is a certain length (she showed about what length in mirror). So another lady in the salon ask me why do I want to go natural and how am I going to wear my hair if I go natural. Before i could respond the girl (Nigerian) who braids my hair said I can twist, cornrow,bantu knot etc....
So, the other ladies' response was I can't do natural I have to have straight hair (relaxed). I said well you came out of the wound with natural hair. Her response was that is when I was a baby it is cute when you are a baby, but not when you are an adult. I didn't say anything after that because I am going to do what I want to do. The reason why I say maybe I am naive is because the lady that made negative comments is from Africa (Ghana,I think) I would think since she is grew up in Africa that she would be more open or accepting of a person wearing their natural hair texture. Please school me about this. I hope I did not offend anyone for making this assumption. I really want to understand why one would feel this way especially when they grew up in Africa.

BTW-I will upload pics later.

I had an African braider at the shop tell me that I had too much bushy hair.I had another African braider tell me "I tell people that if your hair is like this(she points to my hair shaking her head and rolling her eyes)then don't come back no mo' " I was wearing an afro at that time and they were doing micros.
My hair came out nice and they were fast but I did not go back.

I realized then that some people are just plain ignorant.These women were from Africa and I overheard them say that they've lived in America for a
little more than a yr .

My cousin is another ignorant one and she's from Philly.She looked at my new short cut on Friday (natural and brush length) and said
"why and when did you do that?"
I said "over the weekend cause I wanted to.I wanna wash and go like the kids I am loving the simplicity and the cut"
her response "well you're not a kid adults can't wash their hair and go that's for kids"then she proceeded to laugh at me and roll her eyes

I didn't bother to educate her cause I know her well enough to know that she never listens I love her but she's ignorant and judgemental and hates natural hair so I don't expect her to be positive

IMO some hairstylists are just ignorant and uneducated about haircare so there lack of know how doesn't allow them service their customers or broaden their customer base.They stay in a box and never think outside of that box.They only want your business if you fit into that mold that they've created of clientele.Sad but true.Luckily there are lots of choices and we can choose people to service our hair that will actually be positive,willing to listen, and provide good service.

 

[sweetascocoa]

it doesnt have anything to do with where they're from. african or ghanian or whatever. its the individual. there are a lot of ignorant people from different races/countries

i dont get why you keep mentioning the word "african". the other woman who is Nigerian doesnt think like her and she's also from Africa

 

[sweetascocoa]

i don't want to generalize but i had a similar experience. before going on a vacation, i wanted braids. i went in to an african braid shop, and asked the braider if she could fit me in for the next day and if she could braid short hair.
she said she could. i had about shoulder length hair, but i was transitioning. i wanted to quickly get rid of my relaxed ends and planned on doing the big chop. When i got home, i cut my hair to a TWA. The next day when the braider saw my new short natural hair, she was so shocked and almost disgusted that i cut my hair. she kept asking me in disbelief why i cut my hair, why i wanted natural hair, and during braiding kept complaining about how short my hair was and how it was so hard for her to braid it. and the other braiders would come over in shocked disbelief that i was now rocking a TWA. They would talk in their language, and i know they were talking about me but anyway, they were not at all receptive to the concept of someone rocking their natural hair! so, i can definitely relate to your story!

so why was she shocked? that your hair was natural or that it was really short and hard to pick the hair to braid?

 

[Eiano]

it doesnt have anything to do with where they're from. african or ghanian or whatever. its the individual. there are a lot of ignorant people from different races/countries

i dont get why you keep mentioning the word "african". the other woman who is Nigerian doesnt think like her and she's also from Africa

it's funny, there are TONS of threads like this, but the only ones that get called out by ethnicity for being so bad are MOSTLY african.

 

[BW1]

it doesnt have anything to do with where they're from. african or ghanian or whatever. its the individual. there are a lot of ignorant people from different races/countries

i dont get why you keep mentioning the word "african". the other woman who is Nigerian doesnt think like her and she's also from Africa

I am not trying to be negative about using the word "african". Like I said I just assumed. I know there is always going to be ignorance no matter what race or country. I just thought being from there I wouldn't get such a negative response. When I think about Africa, I think pride (whether it be hair, food,traditions, etc... I have never been to Africa, so, I really don't know how great of an influence the European culture has, but I am learning more and more.
The braider asked me "Why?" as well she just wasn't really negative about it.

 

[BW1]

it's funny, there are TONS of threads like this, but the only ones that get called out by ethnicity for being so bad are MOSTLY african.

I hope I am not being offensive. I am trying to learn from my ignorance.

 

[ThursdayGirl]

it doesnt have anything to do with where they're from. african or ghanian or whatever. its the individual. there are a lot of ignorant people from different races/countries

i dont get why you keep mentioning the word "african". the other woman who is Nigerian doesnt think like her and she's also from Africa

i agree with this. i also think that we as Americans assume that africans would be more receptive to natural hair, but if you look at pictures in the news... as people in the more cosmopolitan areas (after all these are the people who are more likely to have the means to get here) they are permed. I see the same broken off perms in those pictures as I see on ladies here. i am not surprised that there are some women there that think white is right. we had slavery... they had colonialism. in many ways they were similar institutions.

 

[jasmine26]

@toosexy, i think she was shocked that i cut my hair short and it was natural. she didn't understand why i cut off all my hair and my reasoning to be a natural. i had about 1.5in of hair. it was blowdried so i know it wasn't hard to get my hair picked through.

but i also don't believe in generalizing, ignorances crosses all nationalities and races. i was just stating my sole experience

 

[rosalindb]

Please believe it coming from a Ghanian with my family/friends comments.
Most Africans I know prefer straight hair. Just like the majority in any other black community, it's better to be Anglo.The ideal standards of beauty my female family members seem to prefer is what is in the states: relaxed straight with a slight curl or something to it.

Most of the Africans I know are also more apreciative of European standards of beauty.

Off Topic: I remember a few years ago going to get my hair microbraided by my hairdresser at the time who was Nigerian. It was only a small salon and all the hairdressers were African. This beautiful lady walked in to get her hair done and my hairdresser said out loud "Isn't she beautiful and she is African as well. You would not think that she was African would you?" And all the other hairdressers agreed with her. It was as if they all thought that an African lady could not beautiful

I could not say a word, I was just stunned

 

[OneInAMillion]

i agree with this. i also think that we as Americans assume that africans would be more receptive to natural hair, but if you look at pictures in the news... as people in the more cosmopolitan areas (after all these are the people who are more likely to have the means to get here) they are permed. I see the same broken off perms in those pictures as I see on ladies here. i am not surprised that there are some women there that think white is right. we had slavery... they had colonialism. in many ways they were similar institutions.

I agree with your coments Thursday girl. Fitting the European standard is pervasive across ALL groups of the African Diaspora. BW1, I see that you're trying to learn more about this, and the fact is that just because the woman was African, you can't assume she's going to love natural hair. I'm not even going to get into assumptions that many African Americans hold about Africa, but my point is that not all African women have natural hair, just like not all African American women have natural hair. Additionally, both groups have hang-ups about natural hair. I mean, the same goes for most women of the diaspora as far as I'm concerned. We've had threads about this for Dominican salons where people bash them for often not liking natural hair. The fact is, they often relax their hair too, and that's why they want the "ease" (not my choice of words) of relaxed hair.

It's important to realize that natural hair is NOT a burden, NOT just appropriate for babies (all things it seems this woman conveyed to you). I hope that helps your understanding. Remember that many women of the Diaspora are facing these issues. Just my two cents.

 

[Faith]

I don't know if it's a "negative" comment necessarily. My mom is old school Ghanian and thinks the same thing (even though she has a natural which she wears in interlocks..she doesn't wear it out).
Understand the context. In Ghana when you're in school (usually boarding school) your hair is usually short to keep it manageable. Short and natural. Getting it PRESSED OR RELAXED signifies a step into ADULTHOOD/WOMANHOOD. It's a sign that boarding school and all that is over. That you're a woman now and can get is DONE.
Is that a wrong mentality...perhaps but it is what it is..lol

Btw, commenting on what others have said....I'm not sure it is ALL about any European standard. Like I said it usually signals a status change.

And I'll add I'm Ga so not sure what is happening with other Ghanian tribes/African tribes...

 

[Faith]

it doesnt have anything to do with where they're from. african or ghanian or whatever. its the individual. there are a lot of ignorant people from different races/countries

i dont get why you keep mentioning the word "african". the other woman who is Nigerian doesnt think like her and she's also from Africa

I know some of the generalizations and AFRICA comments get on my nerves...lol.
Another thing that gets me is when people say I went to an "African braider". Why the need for distinction? Does it matter? I never get that...but that's neither here nor there so...
Maybe living in Canadian (being Canadian born) I just don't get it

Off Topic: I remember a few years ago going to get my hair microbraided by my hairdresser at the time who was Nigerian. It was only a small salon and all the hairdressers were African. This beautiful lady walked in to get her hair done and my hairdresser said out loud "Isn't she beautiful and she is African as well. You would not think that she was African would you?" And all the other hairdressers agreed with her. It was as if they all thought that an African lady could not beautiful
I could not say a word, I was just stunned

That is sad!!! I had one friend who's grandfather ( from St.Vincent) asked me where I was from and when I said well Canadian born but parents from Ghana...proceeded to say basically that I was very pretty and it's suprising that I was African. WTF?!

I guess I was expected to be bald and have a bone through my lip or something

 

[baglady215]

Another thing that gets me is when people say I went to an "African braider". Why the need for distinction? Does it matter? I never get that...but that's neither here nor there so...
Maybe living in Canadian (being Canadian born) I just don't get it

I don't think she meant any harm by this. Around here, most of the braid shops refer to themselves as African Hair Braiding salons, and even have that in the name of their shop. The shop I go to is called Maria's African Hair Braiding.

 

[sareca]

I don't think she meant any harm by this. Around here, most of the braid shops refer to themselves as African Hair Braiding salons, and even have that in the name of their shop. The shop I go to is called Maria's African Hair Braiding.

Same here. I've seen "African" in the name of salons. I thought they wanted the distinction. When I say African braiders I'm respecting their self-reference.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

I am not trying to be negative about using the word "african". Like I said I just assumed. I know there is always going to be ignorance no matter what race or country. I just thought being from there I wouldn't get such a negative response. When I think about Africa, I think pride (whether it be hair, food,traditions, etc... I have never been to Africa, so, I really don't know how great of an influence the European culture has, but I am learning more and more.
The braider asked me "Why?" as well she just wasn't really negative about it.

I didn't see anything wrong in what you said. It seems perfectly rational to think that African people, specifically people who spent their formative years in their native country would not shun Afro textured hair.

"There's ignorance everywhere" is not a good enough answer. I find no satisfaction knowing that people who theoretically have a cultural head start as far as embracing afrocentric features kowtow to European beauty standards.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Same here. I've seen "African" in the name of salons. I thought they wanted the distinction. When I say African braiders I'm respecting their self-reference.

Same here, most shops I pass by say 'African Braids/African Braiders/African Braiding' in big neon signs. So I figured that's how they wanted to be addressed.

 

[SwtnLow]

My husband is African and when I was natural about a year ago he was not happy about it at all. He never said anything mean but he let me know that he wanted me to do something else with my hair. Whenever I flat ironed my hair he would say "Now that's what I'm talking about, if you could just keep your hair like that." It annoyed the hec out of me that he felt this way but I gave in and relaxed my hair and he was just so friggin happy.

They are no different than American blacks, they have been exposed to the same Western ideas of beauty as us. I know a lot of African women and none of them wear their hair natural. Even the ones with braids are relaxed, just like the African American women I know.

 

[Faith]

I don't think she meant any harm by this. Around here, most of the braid shops refer to themselves as African Hair Braiding salons, and even have that in the name of their shop. The shop I go to is called Maria's African Hair Braiding.

Same here. I've seen "African" in the name of salons. I thought they wanted the distinction. When I say African braiders I'm respecting their self-reference.

Well glad I asked then...I don't see that here so when I keep seeing it in posts I'm thinking "why the need...I never got it". Thanks

 

[SwtnLow]

Same here, most shops I pass by say 'African Braids/African Braiders/African Braiding' in big neon signs. So I figured that's how they wanted to be addressed.

It's the same here in San Antonio. It is how they market themselves. Maybe some people feel like they are getting the real deal when they get their hair braided by someone from Africa.

 

[rosalindb]

That is sad!!! I had one friend who's grandfather ( from St.Vincent) asked me where I was from and when I said well Canadian born but parents from Ghana...proceeded to say basically that I was very pretty and it's suprising that I was African. WTF?!

I guess I was expected to be bald and have a bone through my lip or something

It does not surprise me. I have heard the same ignorance from my Grandmother in Barbados. I remember one comment she made about her previous white employers who had a daughter. She said that they were such nice people that they even accepted their daughter's husband who was an African.

 

[*ElleB]

it doesnt have anything to do with where they're from. african or ghanian or whatever. its the individual. there are a lot of ignorant people from different races/countries

i dont get why you keep mentioning the word "african". the other woman who is Nigerian doesnt think like her and she's also from Africa

I believe she was just trying to say, that she was shocked that ANY African would take that stance on natural hair.

 

[Country gal]

I agree with your coments Thursday girl. Fitting the European standard is pervasive across ALL groups of the African Diaspora. BW1, I see that you're trying to learn more about this, and the fact is that just because the woman was African, you can't assume she's going to love natural hair. I'm not even going to get into assumptions that many African Americans hold about Africa, but my point is that not all African women have natural hair, just like not all African American women have natural hair. Additionally, both groups have hang-ups about natural hair. I mean, the same goes for most women of the diaspora as far as I'm concerned. We've had threads about this for Dominican salons where people bash them for often not liking natural hair. The fact is, they often relax their hair too, and that's why they want the "ease" (not my choice of words) of relaxed hair.

It's important to realize that natural hair is NOT a burden, NOT just appropriate for babies (all things it seems this woman conveyed to you). I hope that helps your understanding. Remember that many women of the Diaspora are facing these issues. Just my two cents.

I agree. We all deal with the trappings of white imperailism. Different minority groups have bought into the white is right mentality.

 

[sweetascocoa]

I believe she was just trying to say, that she was shocked that ANY African would take that stance on natural hair.

well, like everyone said, being natural is thought of the same way some americans think of it. so because they're African, they automatically have to embrace natural hair. times have changed when i was in boarding school too, i kept my hair short in a TWA for 4 years. and the final 3 years of high school, i let it grow and i didnt relax until i was 14. some people like natural hair and some people dont. it doesnt have anything to do with nationality

 

[jwhitley6]

it doesnt have anything to do with where they're from. african or ghanian or whatever. its the individual. there are a lot of ignorant people from different races/countries

i dont get why you keep mentioning the word "african". the other woman who is Nigerian doesnt think like her and she's also from Africa

ITA...it's mainly about the individual and personal preference. However sometimes "social norms" play a role in their thinking....Like how many older women wear short hair, because it allegedly looks "more mature".