Need encouragement from other naturals or anyone who can help

DDTexlaxed

DDTexlaxed

TRANSITION OVER! 11-22-14
I am seriously depressed. I have been trying to master natural styles and have been unable to do even the simple 2 strand twist style. I don't understand why this is so hard for me. I miss being able to do different hair styles and looking good. It's hard for me to be natural because I don't have a clue on how to style my hair. I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. I pretty much rock my curly fro....but it is soo boring! :wallbash: It's all I can do. I need encouragement badly. The creamy crack grinch is following me, calling me, begging me to come back to it and I am so tempted because I feel ugly right now. I know I will never texturize my hair again, but my relaxed hair was healthy and always long. :ohwell: I'm determined to remain relaxer free for three more months. Perhaps I'm just someone who can't commit to being natural for too long. I'm just exhausted with my lack of styles. My natural hair is wonderful and I love it, but I am struggling long and hard to just brush it. :lol: I can't style it and I am stalking every natural board and album for encouragement. I hope you guys can help me. I'm just down right now because I feel helpless. Maybe I can do a 6 month relaxer stretch...I don't know what to do anymore. :whyme:
 
NatrllChallenge I feel your pain!!! I remember so vividly ( It was just August!) that I took my wig off and unveiled my natural glory!!! IT WAS HARD! I FELT SO UGLY and unattractive with my natural kinky hair! We have been brainwashed! What has helped me to a great degree is knowing that men still find me attractive even though I don't have a long flowing mane like beyonce! :lol: It has gotten better for me. Unfortunately, I am limited in the styling position, wearing my hair pulled back in a low pony tail. Versatilty I have not! :grin:

I know how you feel. I really do. The crack calls me too especially when I see a beautiful flowing head of hair. I get angry just thinking about how come I couldn't have that while I was paying top dollar for so called "celebrity stylist" making me dang near bald! :mad:

I have vowed to learn how to care for my hair, and never to trust anyone again with my hair!

You have to hold on as long as you can. You have to give your hair time to grow into a long enough length, and time to experiment with styles before you give up.

One thing that I have come to appreciate it is, I am unique in that I represent beauty as I am. I am black, my hair is kinky and STILL I am beautiful!! I will stand out in a room due to my uniqueness!! This is not slamming my relaxed sisters at all. I understand and sometimes want to go there myself.

All I'm saying is I want to let the real me have a chance. I need to prove that I stack up regardless of what the magazines tell me! I am enough just as I am!!

I hope this helps. Hold sister. Hold on!
 
Natrchallenge- it will be okay. You may not have the styles you want to do down yet, but just give it time a be patient. Start off small like a braid or two in front of the fro just for some variety. Then after a while of experimenting with styles and practicing trust me you WILL become better at it. It gets even better as your hair grows bigger trust me. I have been natural since 98' first I had loose hair, then locs, now loose hair again. With each style it took a while to get "in step" but just be patient and do little things at first and eventurally you will get better at creating the styles you want.
 
Hey Girl
Don't give up. I have been natural 2 years and I love every minute of it. how long is your hair and how long have you been natural?
Have you gone on the web site called nappturiality.com?
It has loads of info.

When I started out I started with 1 inch of hair. I had to wear a fro most of the time. I would dress my fro up with a flower, clickies, head bands. I also wore. comb coils or some people call them comb twist.

once I got to about 3-4 inches I put very small 2 strands in. alot of times they would come undone. but to me that made them look even better. it gave my hair a textured look.

once it got a little longer I would have some one put french braids in the front and a afro in the back or 2 strands.

Be Very paitent. give it another 2-3 months. you will definetly be able to do diffrant styles by then.

you may also consider a wig or braids to get you past the hump.

I did not opt for them my self. i wanted to experiance the highs and the lows of my hair. It made me learn to manage the hair god gave me. Also to allow others who thought I was crazy for going natural, see that natural hair is an awsome thing. I get lots of complamints know. since I have been natural 12 people have decided to go natural because of my hair

Again Be patient and let your hair do what it wants to do for now.
love your hair
nap2bfree
 
dont give up, I understand the frustration of trying to learn how to do natural stlyes when you've got no idea how to start, and you don't want to iron all the time, check out some natural albums, take your time to find somethings that work for you. I still have many styles I haven't mastered yet but I'm working on them.
 
Thanks for the advice, guys. I've just been on an emotional roller coaster I'm trying so hard to master the simpler styles. The longer my hair gets the less it cooperates. I am at present unable to straiten it. I'm just completely overwhelmed. My hair is too curly. I can't do anything else to it but just wet it and get a wash n go style. :( I will not do anything for 3 months. I'm just really bored with my hair now. I just am sick of not being able to anything to it. I've tried all the tips on Napptuality and all the tips here. Nothing seems to be able to hold this natually thick hair into a style for long. :look:
 
Rise to the challenge. However, also be authentically YOU. For some reason, when I went natural it wasn't a difficulty for me. I did it at age 19 and I haven't looked back. Yet, I sympathize with you because most messages are: your natural hair is ugly the further it fears from The Straight Standard.

I took my twists out the other day (only had em in for a week). Today one of my students came up to me and said, "Umm, umm Ms. _____! You should have left your twists in. Your hair..uh uh."

Mind you, this is my hair in it's most natural unmanipulated state. I simply told her, Bye bye (as in get out of my face) and went on with my morning routine. I had to remember how ignorant I was at that age when it came to natural hair, dark complexions, etc. In the end though, I'm not making any hair changes based on what she thinks or anyone else. I'm not doing anything to my hair FOR anyone else. My hair is MY hair.

Rant over. Do you Ntrlchallenge. Do what makes you happy. Cause if your natural hair is sending you into a depression then a change is in order. Natural hair is NOT ugly. This is just a simple fact of life. However, as long as you believe and buy into the lie, your natural hair will never unveil it's beauty to your eyes.

Theres always gonna be someone who thinks your natural hair is ugly. Another fact. Just make sure that someone isn't you.

Hope you meet the challenge!
P1
 
Patient 1, thanx for your advice. I don't view my natural hair as ugly. I actually love it. I'm just bored with it right now. I'm depressed because I am the one who just can't do anything to it other than spritz it with water. I've just come to realize that the reason I like my relaxed hair so much is that I knew how to take care of it, do different hairstyles, and my relaxed hair grew long and beautiful for me. My natural hair has grown considerably, but I am unable to properly care for it. I'm just don't know what to do right now with my hair.
 
Okay... deeeeeeeep breath.

First of all put the brush down.
Second of all are you combing it while wet or dry. If you are combing it dry, stop NOW!
Third of all what is your regimen.

Whats wrong with your twists?
 
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I wish i had your problem and a lovely curly afro too. I was born with one arm and i still try to wash and style my hair on my own on, i do get some help from family though. You can do it, try buying some vidoes on styling hair. Good luck whatever you decide.
 
Also... I don't doubt that you love your hair, but maybe you are trying to make it do something it won't do. What I mean by that is...some hair types don't take well to certain styles. If you are a 3c/4a you should be able to wear twists unless your hair is thin.


Oh and to get rid of the tangles here's what I do:

1. wash hair either in the sink or shower ( I'm a rebel so it's usually the sink)
2. apply a good conditioner( I use Suave Daily Moisture Conditoner) and braid hair in sections
3. undo a braid and apply deep conditioner ( I use Lekair Cholesterol Plus) liberally and braid it back up.
4. Let sit on hair for as long as you can stand it
5. comb each section (take your time and comb from ends up, make sure you go all the way up to the roots or your roots will remain tangled) and braid it back up
6. Get in shower undo a braid at a time and rinse it but braid it back up


Now if I want to style it I let my hair air dry in the braids and braid my hair dry the next day.

I don't work and I only go to school Monday- Wednesday, so I usually wash on Thurday and Braid on Friday. Maybe you could wash your hair after work on friday and braid it up on Saturday. I guess if you have enough hair you could dry it in a style that wouldn't take long to do like two french braids just in case you need to leave the house, or maybe wear a headwrap if you need to leave.
 
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i dont know if this will help but maybe you could try going to a salon and asking someone to do a style you really wanted to try and going through it step by step with you- or at least ask questions about how to do it for yourself. they shouldnt mind as long as you go on a less busy day and the result should be getting your hair completely done and learning a new style!

hope that helps!
 
Hey Ntrl:

Glad to hear you don't think your hair is ugly!!!!

If styles alone is what's making you feel unattractive, then definitely go to a salon. Also, take some hair risks. When I first went natural I put my hair into some styles that were perhaps a bit questionable. LOL.

Also, make sure you're dressed really nice while you're in this in between stage. A black turtleneck, hoop earrings, nice jeans, and a pair of boots make any hairstyle seem completely intentional. This (or another classic clean look) should be your "uniform" on days when your hair is not where you want it to be.

Finally, when my hair is in that in between stage (not a twa, not a full, easily styled fro) I rely on gels, pomades, etc. to make my hair shrink down back to a twa look.

Stay focused on the overall health of your hair (as your siggy suggests you are).
BUT, happiness/health is more important than hair. As I suggested before, do what you have to do to be happy. I have a friend who was natural for years (fros, bantus, locs twice) but she's relaxed again because that's how she felt most attractive. And I accept that. We've never had a conversation about WHY or SHOULDS when it comes to her hair.

Take care,
P1
 
Hi there!

I, too feel your pain, Ntrlchallenge! This journey ain't easy. I forget which lady said it but I'm also determined to take care of my own hair for the rest of my life thanks to all the disappointing "professional" stylists in AZ.

I've not yet fully embraced my natural yet though I love looking at it, touching it and trying to figure out how to care for it. Mostly, I've kept it in kinky twist extensions and braids.

That gets boring as well. Plus it's not allowing me to "learn my hair."

Yes, the relaxer days were much easier. But with time and patience, so will your natural days. Hang in there.

I do go all over the place for advice but these are the two links I go back to most often for encouragement:

http://public.fotki.com/browneyedgrl/2005_hair/
http://public.fotki.com/Seoul/photography/at_a_glance/page2.html

Also, T'Keyah Crystal Keymah's book, "Natural Woman/Natural Hair" has a lot of good styles in itl
http://www.tkeyah.com/crystalshop.htm

Oh and I subscribe to "Naturally You" magazine.
http://www.naturallyyoumagazine.com/

While all of the above give me ideas, they are just suggestions, I know my hair may not behave or look the same. And I'm ok with that.

Sorry about the ramble, but you are not alone!
 
patient1 said:
Rise to the challenge. However, also be authentically YOU. For some reason, when I went natural it wasn't a difficulty for me. I did it at age 19 and I haven't looked back. Yet, I sympathize with you because most messages are: your natural hair is ugly the further it fears from The Straight Standard.

I took my twists out the other day (only had em in for a week). Today one of my students came up to me and said, "Umm, umm Ms. _____! You should have left your twists in. Your hair..uh uh."

Mind you, this is my hair in it's most natural unmanipulated state. I simply told her, Bye bye (as in get out of my face) and went on with my morning routine. I had to remember how ignorant I was at that age when it came to natural hair, dark complexions, etc. In the end though, I'm not making any hair changes based on what she thinks or anyone else. I'm not doing anything to my hair FOR anyone else. My hair is MY hair.

Rant over. Do you Ntrlchallenge. Do what makes you happy. Cause if your natural hair is sending you into a depression then a change is in order. Natural hair is NOT ugly. This is just a simple fact of life. However, as long as you believe and buy into the lie, your natural hair will never unveil it's beauty to your eyes.

Theres always gonna be someone who thinks your natural hair is ugly. Another fact. Just make sure that someone isn't you.

Hope you meet the challenge!
P1
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:)

Nothing to add.
 
What abou braids? Maybe if you didnt have to do it so often you wouldnt be so upset with it. When I have to do my own hair I ususally end up doing somethign drastic (hence the new cut :) ) What about a twist out? Since your twists wont stay put some elastics on the end of them end when its dry take it aloose.
 
Girl
Your name says it all Natural is a challenge. No one can really convince you because I was at your stage two years ago. I grew my hair out to about 21/2 inches and I didn't want to be the "twist" only natural and I was tired of fro's. I posted my vent on the boards and got similar suggestions. So I permed my hair anyway. It grew out nicely in one year.

But I felt fake and I missed my natural and versatily. So This pass september with nice looking relaxed hair, but that was annoying me too. I went bald again.

So now I'm rockng a big chop again. Yes if I stuck it out the first time I wouldn't have to go through this challenge again. But now it's not a challenge but a celebration. I loved being bald, I loved every 1/4 inch growth increments since them. Now I can't wait until I can twist, but I'm not watching my hair like plant and being depressed that I can't twist like the first go around.


I hope you don't relax like the other ladies said. But hey if you do, you can cut it off again and when you truly appreciate your natural hair and when it's not such a burden.

Follow your heart. Or as in me, be impulsive: It's just hair, it'll grow back gloriously.
 
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I thank you all for your replies. Patient1, it seems we're in the same boat.I rely heavily on gel to make my hairstyle work. I am a person who stays away from combing or brushing my hair when it's dry. That's just asking for trouble. My hair is curly, but my curls need gel or water to define them. The curls are corkscrew shaped, and for the life of me, I can't seem to get any styles downpacked. I two strand twist at night and by morning they unravel. No matter how I try to tie it up- doesn't work. I thought my hair would be able to do this style because it is thick. Can u ladies give me any other ideas or hair styles to try? Maybe my whole approach has been wrong. Should I be combing out my hair and not using a brush? I no longer daily CW....I'll be going back to it. I just want my hair to be taken care of properly. I don't wanna have to pay someone to do it for me. I plan to get an album soon. I hope to have more advice and hair tips from you all.
 
I don't even know what to suggest. I hope you find a style that works for you. My hair unravels in twists too but not by the next day. How do you feel about box braids? About how big are you making your twists? I can't really picture your hair because hair that unravels by the next day usually can't get a fro I thought. I guess it does if yours is doing that though. Can you think of someone who is your hair twin?
 
Hey Natrlchallenge,

According to your signature you have only been natural for 3 months. When I first went natural I had no idea how to style my hair, so I wore roller sets for months before I figured out how to do two-strand twists. Once I figured out how to do twists, it took me a couple of months before I was able to twist my hair quickly.

How long is your hair now?
I read your signature and what kind of pressure are you under about your hair?
Why are you only interested in two strand twists? There are other styles. How about cornrows, comb coils, braids, Bantu knots, and roller sets?

Are you really using glovers, sulfur 8, olive oil, MTG, WGO, MSM powder, and Frenchee's on your hair? I know that most of the ladies on this board will disagree with me but I think that you are using waaayyy to much stuff on your hair. Is it really necessary to use 7 products on your hair? All of those products may be part of the reason why your twists are not staying.

Do you really want help with your natural hair or do you want people here to tell you that you should go ahead and relax your hair again? I will help you as much as I can, but it does not sound like you want to stay natural. According to your post, you are depressed, you cannot master natural styles (but you have only been natural for 3 months), you miss being able to wear different hair styles, your curly fro is boring but your relaxed hair was healthy and long, you feel ugly, you think that you maybe one of those who cannot stay natural too long.

Natural hair is only as complicated as you make it. If you want to relax, then go ahead and do it. I just think that 3 months is too early to throw in the towel.

…but hey that’s just my opinion.
 
Hey Ladies, ok I am new and really want to make friends here. With that being said, I think maybe things that both I and natural-challenge may have offended a few of our natural ladies I think. It seems it touched a nerve when the "ugly" word was used. Naturals I know how offensive that can be, but in reality, if we haven't been conditioned as a people to believe that our hair is not the "most" attractive option, I don't think so many of us would be relaxed.

What many said some of us just aren't meant to be natural, nor we will we stay that way because we find we are more comfortable relaxed. Coming to really understand and appreciate our natural texture is a PROCESS. I think any natural will admit deciding to become a natural was a series of unfortunate events! LOL We are all products of environments. Yes, I felt pretty insecure when unveiling my new do and felt pretty "unpolished" and not too pretty either. How could I when since before I could even know what my natural hair was like I lyed, died and fried!!? This starts as a very young age and we probably all have heard "girl you need to get a relaxer!".

Don't take it personally naturals when we state we felt "ugly". I think it's a brave thing to do in this beauty obsessed world when the object of beauty is not our most natural selves.

Ok, I'll get off the soapbox now. I hope I haven't offended anyone. I promise it wasn't my intent.

NaturalChallenge. Be encouraged, but whatever you do be you!! Natural or relaxed!
God Bless
 
s_terry said:
Hey Ladies, ok I am new and really want to make friends here. With that being said, I think maybe things that both I and natural-challenge may have offended a few of our natural ladies I think. It seems it touched a nerve when the "ugly" word was used. Naturals I know how offensive that can be, but in reality, if we haven't been conditioned as a people to believe that our hair is not the "most" attractive option, I don't think so many of us would be relaxed.

What many said some of us just aren't meant to be natural, nor we will we stay that way because we find we are more comfortable relaxed. Coming to really understand and appreciate our natural texture is a PROCESS.
Click to expand...

I sortof tried to say out of this one, but again, here I am. ;)

It's not so much that folks are offended, IMO, but AFashionSlave hit the nail on the head. Sure, you can and might feel that your natural hair is ugly, but if you want to keep it, then you need to mentally transition. A NaturalChallenge has been having major struggles with her hair since she did the first BC, which is in part what led her to texturize. To a few of us transitioners and naturals, it's sort of clearer that maybe the problem is not with her hair, but with her mind, and maybe she realizes that too (there's no shame in this).

Of course going natural can be a challenge if you've only styled relaxed hair all your life, but just like you learned to style your relaxed hair, you will eventually learn to style your natural hair too.

Clearly everyone's entitled to their opinions, but I think I cannot agree with the statement "some of us aren't meant to be natural..." The hair we were born with was the hair that [our Diety of choice] chose for us, so I'm going to go ahead and say yeah, all of us were meant to be natural. Now, it is cool to say that some are more comfortable relaxed, or some folks don't like their natural hair, etc.

It really comes down to choice. We have a choice to be natural, or a choice to be relaxed (or anything in between). But once you decide to transition to natural as a life-long decision, you MUST start to have different expections for yourself and your hair, or you won't be natural for very long. JMHO.
 
AFashionSlave said:
Hey Natrlchallenge,

According to your signature you have only been natural for 3 months. When I first went natural I had no idea how to style my hair, so I wore roller sets for months before I figured out how to do two-strand twists. Once I figured out how to do twists, it took me a couple of months before I was able to twist my hair quickly.

How long is your hair now?
I read your signature and what kind of pressure are you under about your hair?
Why are you only interested in two strand twists? There are other styles. How about cornrows, comb coils, braids, Bantu knots, and roller sets?

Are you really using glovers, sulfur 8, olive oil, MTG, WGO, MSM powder, and Frenchee's on your hair? I know that most of the ladies on this board will disagree with me but I think that you are using waaayyy to much stuff on your hair. Is it really necessary to use 7 products on your hair? All of those products may be part of the reason why your twists are not staying.

Do you really want help with your natural hair or do you want people here to tell you that you should go ahead and relax your hair again? I will help you as much as I can, but it does not sound like you want to stay natural. According to your post, you are depressed, you cannot master natural styles (but you have only been natural for 3 months), you miss being able to wear different hair styles, your curly fro is boring but your relaxed hair was healthy and long, you feel ugly, you think that you maybe one of those who cannot stay natural too long.

Natural hair is only as complicated as you make it. If you want to relax, then go ahead and do it. I just think that 3 months is too early to throw in the towel.

…but hey that’s just my opinion.
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Great post, I completly agree. Cheleigh also had a great post as well. I usually stay out of these discussions as well and what led me to post in this one was not the use of the word ugly. For me I feel that with any type of hair (relaxed, natural), one has to have patience and confidence in order to get to the goal that they desire. I also feel that regardless of what you want to accomplish with your hair, if it is causing you stress or unhappiness then by all means do what you have to do to be happy and content. I have been on the board and read of the difficulties the original poster has had since her first BC and what has stuck me the most was the lack of confidence in what she was doing. I agree changing mentally is very difficult but I feel as though the OP has never taken the time to address this issuse in herself which is why she continues to have problems and also why, IMO, it is difficult to offer advice and support because unless these issuses are addressed advice and support means nothing.

I also disagree with the poster that said most naturals "decided to be natural because of a series of unfortunate events" (sorry if that was misquoted). I am a natural that never once had a problem with relaxing my hair. My hair has always been healthy and strong. I choose to be natural because I love natual hair and admired the styles that I saw many women on the board and on the street wearing. I have not had any apprehension about wearing my hair out and I think suggesting that most naturals do is an enormous sterotype! Their was nothing unforunate about my decision and I can think of many others on this board and personal friends of mine whose decision had nothing to do with any negative or unfortunate events. Now I will get off of my soapbox!
 
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I agree with AFashionslave's post as well and considering how long you've been struggling back and forth (I think I recall seeing a BC post at 4x since I've joined), I think it's really more about changing your mentality. I think my hair is 3c/4a as well and so I totally understand the challenges of styling and detangling- it's particularly hard when you're used to relaxed hair. If the issue is just that you want more length, I say put in some braids (if you like them) and hybernate until you get enough length to feel comfortable. If the issue is styling and you've tried everything- you could go get your hair done professionally once and watch what they do as someone else suggested. And you can always use a blowdryer to get your hair more managable for the time being- just make sure you airdry in braids or bantu knots for awhile (I wait for four-five hours) that way you won't need much drying for each section. From there, you can curl, set in rods, knot, or just let it be- doing this make my hair look kinda relaxed but with lots of body. Are you twisting your hair dry? Because that could have something to do with it- if I twist my dry hair really loose it comes out. At any rate, try to stick it out at least for a few more months and create a mental list of the pros and cons of relaxing and staying natural.
 
s_terry,
Was your post directed towards me? If it was, I wanted you to know that I appreciate your post but I was not offended. I didn’t find anything about Natrlchallenge’s post to be offensive.
 
I have to clarify some things- 1st- I've been natural for 6 months prior to this. I thought that a light texturizing would help me to better care for my hair. It didn't, so I chopped off the texturized hair. This would've been my 9th month as a natural. . I liked my relaxed hair because I could properly care for it. I feel very inadequate in caring for my natural hair. I just needed tips and encouragement from you guys to help me care better for my natural hair. I am trying 2 strands because I felt that was the most basic style to achieve. If I can't 2 strand twist, how can I do cornrows or other braids? I just want to take care of my hair properly and have it thrive. I don't think I'm doing a good job right now with my natural hair so I made this thread so you guys can help. Afashionslave, your album is the one I stalk the most. Can you give me any tips on how you were able to care for your natural hair? I don't want to cause a controversy, just need some advice on how to be successful as a natural. The 3 month period is for my own journal, since my journal here isn't working. I'm going to log down my successes and failures.I need to see what works and what doesn't work. As for the other products, The only thing I still use fight now regularly is the Msm. I put that in my conditioner. I only use the other 2 products in the summer when I daily CW. I was hoping for encouragement and styling tips. I'm hoping to be a successful natural. I hope I cleared up and misunderstandings.
 
Natrlchallenge said:
I have to clarify some things- 1st- I've been natural for 6 months prior to this. I thought that a light texturizing would help me to better care for my hair. It didn't, so I chopped off the texturized hair. This would've been my 9th month as a natural. . I liked my relaxed hair because I could properly care for it. I feel very inadequate in caring for my natural hair. I just needed tips and encouragement from you guys to help me care better for my natural hair. I am trying 2 strands because I felt that was the most basic style to achieve. If I can't 2 strand twist, how can I do cornrows or other braids? I just want to take care of my hair properly and have it thrive. I don't think I'm doing a good job right now with my natural hair so I made this thread so you guys can help. Afashionslave, your album is the one I stalk the most. Can you give me any tips on how you were able to care for your natural hair? I don't want to cause a controversy, just need some advice on how to be successful as a natural. The 3 month period is for my own journal, since my journal here isn't working. I'm going to log down my successes and failures.I need to see what works and what doesn't work. As for the other products, The only thing I still use fight now regularly is the Msm. I put that in my conditioner. I only use the other 2 products in the summer when I daily CW. I was hoping for encouragement and styling tips. I'm hoping to be a successful natural. I hope I cleared up and misunderstandings.
Click to expand...

You are not inadequate & you did not cause any controversy. Natural hair is just different than relaxed hair. You can learn to 2-strand twist. It's easier than you think. It takes a little practice, but you can learn to do it. I created a diagram for you. I hope it helps. Try twisting your hair when it’s dry. Dry twists are more uniform compared to twisting wet hair.
http://public.fotki.com/AFashionSla...e_how_tos/2-strand_twist_how_to/2_strand.html

I forgot to add this to the diagram. Once you get to the bottom of your twist, add both locs of hair together and rotate them (to the right) in-between your fingers to keep the ends together.

When I first went natural I would experiment with my hair on my day off from work and school. Maybe you can try a hair experimental day once every week or so.

My first suggestion is that you pick one or two products. Try a product that gives you a little hold. A little gel, putty, or something like carols daughter healthy hair butter will do the trick.

How long is your hair now?
What products are you using?
What is your current routine?
 
Ok, so my use of "many" or "most" have been taken a little too literally. I was simply attempting to encourage Natrl. It's possible that Natrl didn't take some of your post slightly abrasive, but I did. I don't think anyone who is making such a large change in her hair should feel bad about voicing her struggles. Some of the post ( and again maybe it's just the way I took it) came off kind of "testy" to me. Natrl hasn't responded so maybe she doesn't feel the same way. Change is always hard no matter what it is, and you will often have strugggles and reservations. Some days or harder than others. All I wanted to do was encourage Natrl in the she is not alone in how choosing this option can be a struggle. I too still have days that I think about going back simply because it's easier and what I know. Don't beat ( me) up because I can admit to these feelings. Some have had more time to adjust to Natural hair. Some choose to do it and had no reservations. Some, like me, it has been a process. I don't think it's quite right to make me feel bad about that.
 
Naturalchallenge I completely know how you feel.

I have been natural for about a year now and all I can master in terms of styling are twist and twistouts. I want to learn how to braid my own hair and do other styles. I know that it is not going to be easy, as the other posters said "practice makes perfect". I also second going to a natural stylist and learning some styles from them.

I too often find myself reminisceing about the days when I was relaxed and how easy the styling was. I had to learn to come to terms and realize that I am natural now and I have to accept all the challenges that come with this hair choice. It will all be easier one day and WE both will have may styles that we will master.

I wish you luck in you natural journey and encourage you to stay strong.

By the way: If you learn any new styles out of this post, PM me! :D
 
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AfashionSlave, thank you so much for responding. I think your hair is absolutely beautiful! :D I hope I can get mine to that point! I'm currently checking out your rec's! Thanks
 
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