Need encouragement from other naturals or anyone who can help

[chocolate01]

Ok, so my use of "many" or "most" have been taken a little too literally. I was simply attempting to encourage Natrl. It's possible that Natrl didn't take some of your post slightly abrasive, but I did. I don't think anyone who is making such a large change in her hair should feel bad about voicing her struggles. Some of the post ( and again maybe it's just the way I took it) came off kind of "testy" to me. Natrl hasn't responded so maybe she doesn't feel the same way. Change is always hard no matter what it is, and you will often have strugggles and reservations. Some days or harder than others. All I wanted to do was encourage Natrl in the she is not alone in how choosing this option can be a struggle. I too still have days that I think about going back simply because it's easier and what I know. Don't beat ( me) up because I can admit to these feelings. Some have had more time to adjust to Natural hair. Some choose to do it and had no reservations. Some, like me, it has been a process. I don't think it's quite right to make me feel bad about that.

I know this post was not directed at anyone in particular but I hope you did not find my post offensive and if you did I apologize as that was not my intention. I have offered Natrl tips on how I twist my hair and invited her to view my album for inspiration as well and I exend the same to you as well. We all have struggles wheter relaxed or natural, I have days where I don't feel like dealing with my hair as well. My post was not meant to make you or Natrl feel bad for having the feeling you have.

Everyone should feel free to voice their opinion but it is also important to realize that because this is the internet and not actual face to face conversations sometimes things do come off differently than a poster intended.

 

[s_terry]

thank you so much Chocolate. I totally agree that sometimes the true meaning is lost in a post.

I just looked at your album and you wasn't lying about having gorgeous relaxed hair! Your natural hair is very very pretty too. So shiny!!You lucky girl. Do you ever look at naturals and wonder if your natural hair looks just as good on you???

I did just post a question as a seperate thread for you and Fashion Slave. Please offer any advice if you think anything comes to mind to help us newbies out! TIA

 

[patient1]

You know. . .I think it was Wayne Dyer who said that if you want to be offended you won't be disappointed. You can find something to be offended by at every turn.

No one can make you feel anything. However, a word, a tone, a gesture can trigger something that already exists in you.

And THAT IS GOOD!! Challenges are not about being coddled and stroked. Challenges are about being taken through a rough process so that you can be refined. In life we have all sorts of teachers: some instructing with a silk glove, others with an iron fist. And it provides BALANCE.

Last week, I had the privelege of hearing Iyanla Vanzant speak at Agape Spiritual Center in Los Angeles. She said she was having a day when she was feeling ugly, fat, and inadequate (basically something to that effect). She said that all you need is one friend who is real with you. She called that friend and she told Iyanla to go all the way there. Go all the way ugly. Don't comb your hair, don't brush your teeth, don't put on nice clothes, just sit in the mirror being ugly and you'll heal real fast.

I'm usually that sort of friend.

So I relate to posts like AFashionSlave's. And (in real life) I like to have those sorts of friends. When you really think of it, our hair can be a spiritual battlefield of sorts. Sounds dramatic, but true. Cause I can think of no other place where issues of beauty and racism and sexism are played out so immediately than as they are on Black woman's head.

Have patience with yourself by all means. It is a process.

P1

 

[Coffy]

It's really encouraging to read these posts. I never thought I'd be so distraught over hair but today was one of the worst experiences in my hair life.

All my beautiful natural hair is gone--all because a lady decided to cut my Afro dry. It was on it's way to my shoulders and she cut it up to my ear. Then she suggested I wear a weave. I walked out in tears...and I'm still crying. There's worse things in this world I know but I am really down.

Mostly because all I wanted was a texturizer, just so I can deal with my thick hair quicker for work. And now I have a chopped up Afro.

 

[patient1]

Sorry to hear about that Coffy. Learn from this. Back when I first started wearing my hair short and natural I QUICKLY learned to cut my own hair with clippers because of botched barber jobs.

If you were gonna texturize, can you still do so on the length that remains?

By the way, the woman in your avatar is beautiful. And I love her fro!!! Would you like to achieve a chunky look like that? Maybe folks on here can help you with some styles to get you through this period.

P1

P.S. Yeah there are worse things in the world. Always will be. But right now you're mourning your hair. Don't apologize for that. Tear ducts aren't concerned with the source of the hurt.