Naturals, what do you do when the urge...

[Aviah]

To relax hits? That is, if you DO ever get the urge... or even the curiosity.
I personally just wait it out and the phase passes. Or I will just flat iron my hair and after about a week I miss my kinks. I always think that if I relax it I will regret it within a week, plus, transitioning is no joke!

Let's encourage our fellow naturals when times get tough!

 

[BostonMaria]

My last relaxer was almost 4 years ago and I don't regret it. Especially since I absolutely, positively HATED transitioning and hated my short hair when I did the BC LOL That's enough to scare me away! When I miss straight Hair I grab my CHI. After about 3 or 4 days I miss my curls.

 

[Enyo]

I guess it's your mindset. The idea of relaxing really puts me off. I don't miss the burning, the stink of the chemicals, and the limp hair that relaxers gave me. Plus my poor thin edges can't take anymore! When I last relaxed my hair I decided that chemicals were not an option - period. I think having such a determined foundation is what protected me all these years. Plus, I spent a lot of time on sites that were only for natural hair. The PC trend is to say that every is welcome, etc., but I find that segregated sites can really be useful when you are trying to maintain a certain mindset.

 

[PeanutButterandHoney]

I straighten too.

Or I find a super cute style or I even braided it up.

I sometimes read the posts here and I see people literally fighting with their hair and the decision to relax.
If I ever got to the point where I was just unhappy with being natural, being sad and fighting my hair, I would relax.
I think people should do what makes them happy.
If your urges turns into a desire, please don't be unhappy with yourself in the name of "staying natural".
Just do you.


I kinda went off on a tangent, lol

 

[Tif392002]

i only felt like that once during my journey.. i just remember i dont like relaxers, i hate the process of getting thm... then i look at some pics of long natural thick hair that i want, and that urge went away... i know what im working for and dont plan on going back.

 

[DarkVictory]

Throw on a wig.

 

[Kneechay]

i either flat iron or get weave. it doesnt take long before i want my kinks back though and I am glad I didn't relax. plus, I look back to how I looked when I was relaxed and i looked a hot mess, so it's a great deterrent.

 

[shinyblackhair]

Welp...I gave in...I'm officially tex-laxed. It's all good though, I'm happy with the results. I still love natural hair...I'm sure I'll be back to natural within a year or two...I just won't bc ever again, LOL!

 

[Lynnerie]

I have gotten the urge to texturize once. (I was on the Miss Jessie's website looking at before and afters lol ) Thats when I start looking at all my favorite natural pics of myself and others. I also remember the tingling/burning feeling of a relaxer and I'm not trying to go back to that or fighting with new growth and demarcation lines.

 

[Lynnerie]

Welp...I gave in...I'm officially tex-laxed. It's all good though, I'm happy with the results. I still love natural hair...I'm sure I'll be back to natural within a year or two...I just won't bc ever again, LOL!

Good for you! One thing I believe in is, whatever hair journey you choose you should be happy!

 

[brebre928]

Two months after I BC'd I wanted to slap a relaxer in my hair, I had to keep tellin myself that my hair would grow and at least wait a year to see what my hair can do. It's been 10 months and I haven't thought about relaxing again. But if I do want that straight look, I'll just flat iron or wear my wig

 

[loolalooh]

I wait it out and put my hair away. Then I refrain from looking at those beautiful relaxed heads. Lol. The urge usually goes away in a couple of days.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

I don't get the urge to relax at all like BostonMaria said transitioning was no joke and my relaxed hair was wack anyway.

When I get the urge for straight hair....I just straighten my hair...I think its important not to limit your options when you're natural. I've seen naturals that are soooo strict about never straightening and alot of times they'll be the ones to end up failing at their natural journey because they limited themselves and never developed a good straightening technique and then assume that if they want straight hair that have to use chemicals.

In the past I've had straight phases that last three months non-stop because that was just the phase I was in....then the fro is back or twists or what have you.

Bottom line....when I want any particular look....I go for it....enjoy it and usually miss my coils really soon anyhow

 

[curlicarib]

I've been natural my whole life, with a brief period of relaxer in my teens (about 3 - 6 months). I hated it so much I shaved my head. I have never had the urge to relax since then, almost 30 years now.

 

[shinyblackhair]

Good for you! One thing I believe in is, whatever hair journey you choose you should be happy!

Thank you! You know, I never cried once over my bc...however, I did get increasingly dissatisfied with the *look*. It wasn't so hard to handle or anything...I can't say I had any issues with my natural...I was just tired of looking in the mirror and seeing the huge fro. Sooooo...it was either bc again down to a very twa, or retain this length and loosen the curl. DH is not going stan for another bc, so I texturized. I really like it...for now...I am so fickle...I commit to nothing except my marriage and children .

With that said, I still believe that natural hair is FABULOUS and we all have the right to rock our own hair in the way that pleases us.

 

[afrikurl]

I honestly can't say I miss having a relaxer. I don't even remember what it feels like to have one. I do get the urge to staighten every couple of months and I usually refrain because I don't have the right technique and my hair comes out poofy-straight. I either want it nappy or straight. I hate the in between. I don't want to spend hours on something that I will hate

 

[ThickHair]

Strangely I have been natural for over 12 years and I have never had the urge to relax BUT I have had the urge during a bad detangling session to go back to a fade. I guess I am just wired different IDK.

 

[Enyo]

When I get the urge for straight hair....I just straighten my hair...I think its important not to limit your options when you're natural. I've seen naturals that are soooo strict about never straightening and alot of times they'll be the ones to end up failing at their natural journey because they limited themselves and never developed a good straightening technique and then assume that if they want straight hair that have to use chemicals.

In my experience it's actually been the opposite. The friends I made on natural-only sites 7+ years ago are all still natural. Many of them had been natural for 10-15 years when we met. And I don't think anyone is that dense that they don't know about pressing combs, roller sets, Dominicans, and flat irons.

Like I said, it's the mentality you have when you go in to this. I don't feel like I am limited because I just don't like the look of completely straight hair on me and I see no benefits in using heat or chemicals for styling purposes. I do more with nappy hair than I ever did with straightened locks. It's been 11 years and counting, so I figure I must be doing something right.

 

[omachine]

I haven't relaxed since 95. I never have the urge to relax but I do get the shakes for a Dominican blow out. The urge to go to a Dominican salon is sometimes overwhelming, I have to visualize the brutal heat and slowly the desire goes away. Well, mostly goes away.

 

[BrandNew]

I haven't had the urge to relax but when I get bored with my hair I get braids.

 

[ryanshope]

To relax hits? That is, if you DO ever get the urge... or even the curiosity.
I personally just wait it out and the phase passes. Or I will just flat iron my hair and after about a week I miss my kinks. I always think that if I relax it I will regret it within a week, plus, transitioning is no joke!

Let's encourage our fellow naturals when times get tough!

Great thread Aviah! I don't get the urge to relax, but when I feel like I need a "CHANGE" I get a new wig or put in a weave. I just started straightening my hair since I got back to the states(I have done it twice) but I don't let my hair stay straight more than a day...I am always nervous that I have heat damage or something. I am at 1 year post being natural, and I have new challenges--my fro is a shapeless mess if I don't twist it first, I STILL don't have wash n go hair, it is too short to not twist, too long to make big twist so it still takes time. I look at the bigger picture---my hair is at the top of my shoulders and is very healthy. I don't have porosity issues and my hair stays moisturized for 3-4 days post washing. I love how my coils look and feel---but I need a hair cut or for the sides to catch up soon

 

[bluediamond0829]

Havent really had any urges to relax. Ive gotten bored and it gets hard trying to think of something to do with my hair--but i just hit up LHCF, YT, or BHM to see what others are doing and they are my inspiration and keep me going with being natural.

Sometimes also the upkeep and finding things to do with my hair between working out, being social and on the go is sometimes hard and not trying to have hairdos that are time consuming, because my hair is getting thicker and longer also so its becoming even more time consuming for me to do it then what it used to...but i love bein natural too much..

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

In my experience it's actually been the opposite. The friends I made on natural-only sites 7+ years ago are all still natural. Many of them had been natural for 10-15 years when we met.

I think being on natural-only sites really aids in being natural long-term very encouraging and reinforcing.....Growing up with a mom thats been natural all my life and living in a city that adores natural hair has been very reinforcing for me in terms of mentality as well.

And I don't think anyone is that dense that they don't know about pressing combs, roller sets, Dominicans, and flat irons.

Alot of people know of them, but you'd be surprised how many don't know the proper technique for a thorough press when they get the urge.

Like I said, it's the mentality you have when you go in to this. I don't feel like I am limited because I just don't like the look of completely straight hair on me and I see no benefits in using heat or chemicals for styling purposes. I do more with nappy hair than I ever did with straightened locks. It's been 11 years and counting, so I figure I must be doing something right.

I fully respect that, I think its awesome that you're fully content wearing your hair in its coily glory 24/7.....trust, you don't have to convice me about the versatility of styles for kinky hair

I was really addressing those that like the look of straight hair from time to time but never really indulge themselves in a good press or develop an effective straightening technique. If you have zero interest in straightening your hair ever then that post wasn't addressing you at all

 

[Chameleonchick]

This time around I haven't had the slightest urge to relax. When I start to get bored of my hair I put it away. I am thinking about putting in a weave this summer, but it still won't be straight hair anyways. I'm so over straight hair now.

 

[Janet']

I have not had the urge to relax and I have been natural for going on 5 years...When I want the bone straight look, I flat iron...I do agree with BMP in that, as naturals, we have so many options- we can attain the "relaxed" look and then go back to curls and coils...

Then again, relaxing was never the devil for me either...I stopped relaxing because I wanted the thickness of my hair back; that and I knew that I would never stop coloring my hair, so I wanted to be proactive...Once I started transitioning, I never looked back- and I hope to continue that way.

 

[Eluv]

Well I had the urge for the past year, I finally gave in last month and texlaxed.

So far I love my texlaxed hair and I am 6 weeks post. Since I was natural for three years I believe it will be a piece of cake to stretch my relaxers. I still only wear updos/buns though.

 

[Eluv]

Welp...I gave in...I'm officially tex-laxed. It's all good though, I'm happy with the results. I still love natural hair...I'm sure I'll be back to natural within a year or two...I just won't bc ever again, LOL![/QUOTE]

That's my biggest regret. I never transitioned I just BC without knowing anything. That was before I discovered LHCF and youtube.

 

[Aviah]

I straighten too.

Or I find a super cute style or I even braided it up.

I sometimes read the posts here and I see people literally fighting with their hair and the decision to relax.
If I ever got to the point where I was just unhappy with being natural, being sad and fighting my hair, I would relax.
I think people should do what makes them happy.
If your urges turns into a desire, please don't be unhappy with yourself in the name of "staying natural".
Just do you.


I kinda went off on a tangent, lol

ITA.

I didn't mean for those who aren't natural to participate in this thread initially, but I guess it can aid in a natural really wanting to make that decision to go for it if they really do not want it anymore.

 

[jetbeauty09]

I just had the urge to relax last weekend after a crazy straightening session but my husband talked me out of it. Hence, the twist style I have in my sig now. By the time I'm done w/these, the urge will have passed

I think about the time it takes to go from a TWA to SL and that curbs my appetite right there! LOL Even if you don't BC, you will be missing out on those gorgeous coils, kinks and curls all over when you have those straight ends again.

So to me, its not worth it if you're not 100% sure to relax. Just sleep on it and if you still feel like relaxing the next day, put your hair under something- a hat, quickweave, wig or braids.

Your hair will thank you for your patience in the long run! I can't wait to have a BIG curly puff or pony.

 

[Enyo]

I've always wanted to try a weave just for the sake of having one. But I'd have to be curly. I loooove da curls. Loose, tight, it's all right!