Naturals: UP & OUT or OUT then DOWN

[PanamasOwn]

Hey Ladies,

While being natural has SOOO many advantages, the one thing I CANT get with is this "in between" stage. I BC'ed in Dec., and already have a good amount of growth for Jan. but my hair is doing more of this UP and OUT thing.. Like me curls are more springy and more defined as my hair grows, but very few of them have any 'hang time". WHATS THE DEAL!?

I want thick hair (of course), but not that Erykah Badu afro with no hang time!!

I didnt really realize it was doing that until my SO mentioned something about "Thats not how your hair is supposed to look, is it?" It kinda hurt my feelings. I can tell he doesnt like it much, and I can't lie, It's kinda messing with my self esteem.

I thought this was supposed to be an empowering journey, but instead I am finding it to be an "unattractive" one instead.

Has anyone else gone through this? and also can anyone give me some insight as to how long it takes to gain that "hang time" I'm desperately looking for??????

 

[LunadeMiel]

OP...what is your hair type? Most "afro grade" hair tend to grow up and out instead down. The thighter your curl pattern the more that it's going to grown out instead of down. Also, as your hair grows longer it may start to change its directions and start to grow down.

 

[LynnieB]

depends on the hair texture but if there's any "afro" tendencies in the hair texture at all, it will usually go up to the sky or at least out (horizontally) first then go down as it gets heavier.

once it gets enough length to it, the hair's weight and gravity will start pulling it down and give some "hang time" but it usually will never have the same hang as flatironned or relaxed hair.

the in between stage is a real ****** - it's like the hair has no idea what it's supposed to do and just does whatever and you're stuck with it. it's probably one of the top 3 reasons folks get frustrated and discouraged with their natural hair and sends them running back to the comfort zone of a relaxer.

there are ways to get through this stage and actually have fun doing it. flat twists, cornrows, flat twist/puff combos, cornrow/puff combos, finger coils, curly styles with rollers or rods, etc. mix and match the styles or even get a curly hair piece/bun to go with the cornrows or flattwists.

it's gonna take some time lady, there's no way to sugarcoat it but, you CAN get through it if you stay +++ and remain strong in your choice to stay natural.

hang in there, electric-slide on over to NP and check out the styles they do over there, check out fotki albums of e'erybody here and there for more ideas.

you'll be ok!

 

[AsTheCurlzTurns]

depends on the hair texture but if there's any "afro" tendencies in the hair texture at all, it will usually go up to the sky or at least out (horizontally) first then go down as it gets heavier.

once it gets enough length to it, the hair's weight and gravity will start pulling it down and give some "hang time" but it usually will never have the same hang as flatironned or relaxed hair.

the in between stage is a real ****** - it's like the hair has no idea what it's supposed to do and just does whatever and you're stuck with it. it's probably one of the top 3 reasons folks get frustrated and discouraged with their natural hair and sends them running back to the comfort zone of a relaxer.

there are ways to get through this stage and actually have fun doing it. flat twists, cornrows, flat twist/puff combos, cornrow/puff combos, finger coils, curly styles with rollers or rods, etc. mix and match the styles or even get a curly hair piece/bun to go with the cornrows or flattwists.

it's gonna take some time lady, there's no way to sugarcoat it but, you CAN get through it if you stay +++ and remain strong in your choice to stay natural.

hang in there, electric-slide on over to NP and check out the styles they do over there, check out fotki albums of e'erybody here and there for more ideas.

you'll be ok!

I know I didn't post this question but I wanted to say AMEN on the above. For someone who's transitioning after doing the BC this is very encouraging and informative to me. So I thank you SO VERY MUCH for posting your view on this. I needed to hear this myself. I'm saving this thread so that I can go back to it later and re-read your post. Again, thank you soooo much!

 

[gmw]

Yes I have to agree. I have really course 4zzzzzz hair. It is taking its own good time to grow out and down. It will in time. In some places it has already started. But not that much. I am into twist outs, flat twist outs, a twist out pulled back into a puff, box braids and on.....

My styles are cute, and good for my hair and its growth.

Hang in there.... It will grow down, it just may take much longer.

 

[PanamasOwn]

My hair is 3c with a mix of 4a and a tad bit of 3b. 75-85% of my hair has pen sized defined ringlets.while the other half is weird and the other half, soft and wavy...

I LOVE my texture, I just cant do the fro... It looks great on some people..but, def. not me

 

[JustKiya]

What is this downward growth thing you speak of???

I'm totally co-signing with Lynn, here - it depends on your hair, and the only way to know when it's gonna start hanging down is to keep growing it until it starts hanging down. I'm hitting on two years of growth, and my hair is no where NEAR having a drop of hangtime - it's still even hard to COMB my hair downward, much less wear it that way.

I'm sure that's not the answer you wanted, but it tis the truth.

You have to rememeber that natural hair is an ENTIRELY different creation than permed/flatironed hair, and what you could do with it straight, might not work quite as well kinky.

Celebrate the height! Go with the upward flow, and learn some new things to do with the new hair you have! Gods willing, your hair will never be this length again - so have fun with it while you can!

 

[Sunshine_One]

I think I have similiar texture to yours and sooo feel your distress. Please hang in there. I agree with what's already been said above, it's very good insight. I do have a suggestion for you though, for a "some up and some down style: Try braiding or twisting up the hair you plan to wear down in large sections. This will set that hair in a downward motion and give some hang time. I've done this many times when wearing that particular style.

I believe I have some pics of my version of this in my fotki.

HTH

 

[PanamasOwn]

Thanks ladies for all the replies... I guess I was just looking for my hair to indicate that the curls would be heading south and not so much west and east.... (Sigh) But I guess patience is a virtue... Maybe I can have a turnaround in the bootcamp this year...

 

[PanamasOwn]

http://www.public.fotki.com/choconillaprincess/07!!!!/page2.html

(I hope she doesnt mind)

But this is an example of what I mean by hang time. Her hair is out, but not like an afro. I have SOME hair that looks like that while the other part my hair look like this

http://public.fotki.com/PanamasOwn/new-growth/photo01111.html

that with my curl strecthed...think of a slinky, but A REALLY SMALL ONE....thats what my hair is like...

 

[LynnieB]

http://www.public.fotki.com/choconillaprincess/07!!!!/page2.html

(I hope she doesnt mind)

But this is an example of what I mean by hang time. Her hair is out, but not like an afro. I have SOME hair that looks like that while the other part my hair look like this

http://public.fotki.com/PanamasOwn/new-growth/photo01111.html

that with my curl strecthed...think of a slinky, but A REALLY SMALL ONE....thats what my hair is like...

you have to give your hair a chance to grow.

just because it looks a certain way now doesn't mean the look won't change once it reaches a certain length.

choco's hair is alot longer than yours so you really have to give it time, be patient, and enjoy the journey as you're living it.

trust me, your hair will have it's own special and unique beauty - don't compare.

i say all of this with love

 

[JustKiya]

Oh, nuh-uh, I seriously doubt my hair will ever look like that. My curls aren't nearly that big, and even though it's fine, it's wiry - it would have to be REALLLLLLLY long to even have the potential (with a whole, whole, WHOLE lotta products and time) hang like that - BSL/MBL at the least.

 

[PanamasOwn]

I think my problem is im a "Hair Watcher" like I just and wait to ssee new growth..I am always checking, always wondering and trying not to break my reggie at all...Maybe I should just relax.... and it will start growing like crazy...

BTW...Lynn YOUR HAIR...QUE BELLA...Its soooooo lush

 

[velvet]

Can I ask . . . have you cut all the relaxed ends? I'm not understanding if you are all the way natural or still transitioning, but from the texture in your pics it looks like some of the hair is still processed. Personally I think it's easier to play with styles if there isn't any processed hair hanging around.

Like the other posters said, it's going to take a LONG time before hair starts growing in a southern direction, maybe 3 or more years, depending on your hair texture and the products you use.

Here is a picture of me, one year after the big chop and still in a northern direction even though I have very fine hair:

http://public.fotki.com/velvethalo/back-in-the-day/age20christmas.html

Here is 3 years later when the hair is starting to switch direction:
http://public.fotki.com/velvethalo/back-in-the-day/age22.html

The ends were damaged by coloring so they tended to hang "down" more.

If you are not the afro wearing type, how about braids?

 

[AfroKink]

What is this downward growth thing you speak of???

My hair hasn't gotten the memo... and I hope it never does.
Next stop: The Sky

Lys

 

[PanamasOwn]

Can I ask . . . have you cut all the relaxed ends? I'm not understanding if you are all the way natural or still transitioning, but from the texture in your pics it looks like some of the hair is still processed. Personally I think it's easier to play with styles if there isn't any processed hair hanging around.

Like the other posters said, it's going to take a LONG time before hair starts growing in a southern direction, maybe 3 or more years, depending on your hair texture and the products you use.

Here is a picture of me, one year after the big chop and still in a northern direction even though I have very fine hair:

http://public.fotki.com/velvethalo/back-in-the-day/age20christmas.html

Here is 3 years later when the hair is starting to switch direction:
http://public.fotki.com/velvethalo/back-in-the-day/age22.html

The ends were damaged by coloring so they tended to hang "down" more.

If you are not the afro wearing type, how about braids?

Yeah I thought I orginally cut them all off, but once I went back and looked at the pictures after I posted them, I saw some lingering, so I weeded through them and chopped those off too (I just never reposted another picture)

3 years isnt that bad, and you hair looks wonderful.. I have NEVER been natural before so I am so new at what to do, how to keep it healthy, etc...

I thought about braids too, but I work in a very corporate environment, and so far I am getting away with the wash -n-gos, and the ocassional TWA's with headbands, but a BAA (big ass afro) will def. not make the cut working there. And braids (without the longer extentions) will not give me the look I need for my type of work.

 

[glamazon386]

Well Erykah Badu's hair is fake. It's a wig. But nappy hair for the most part grows up and out. Once it gets long, like mahybe 3 or 4 years down he road the weight of the hair might make it go down. Looser textures grow down sometimes. That's just how our hair grows. You can manipulate it with styles or try to weigh it down with product but that may not work either.

 

[sonce]

http://www.public.fotki.com/choconillaprincess/07!!!!/page2.html

(I hope she doesnt mind)

But this is an example of what I mean by hang time. Her hair is out, but not like an afro. I have SOME hair that looks like that while the other part my hair look like this

Do not expect your hair to do that if you do not have her texture. My texture is mostly 4a/b and right now, even at 21" (measured from root to tip of a strand), my hair will still not hang down when in a completely unmanipulated state. It looks just like Velvet's second shot--a bit of droopiness but still a clear bushy, afro look (just really big now). The only part that clearly hangs is the back, which is 3c in texture. This is my texture and this is how my hair is and I love it.

If you have a texture like mine, do not delude yourself into thinking that weight will make your hair hang. This is not bad news unless you insist on coveting a look that is not yours. Unless your texture is like that of those whose hair you admire, at some point, you will have to accept your natural texture and not be ashamed of your hair doing what it does. It is precisely because of the mental process of real self-acceptance that accompanies the physical process that going natural is truly a journey.

 

[PanamasOwn]

Do not expect your hair to do that if you do not have her texture. My texture is mostly 4a/b and right now, even at 21" (measured from root to tip of a strand), my hair will still not hang down at all when in a completely unmanipulated state. The only part that hangs is the back, which is 3c in texture. My hair is heavy yet it still forms a bushy afro--just a very big one. I love it because I do not expect my hair to do anything but what it does. This is my texture and this is how my hair is. If you have a texture like mine, do not delude yourself into thinking that weight will make your hair hang. This is not bad news unless you insist on coveting a look that is not yours. Unless your texture is like that of those whose hair you admire, at some point, you will have to accept your natural texture and not be ashamed of your hair doing what it does. It is precisely because of the mental process of real self-acceptance that accompanies the physical process that going natural is truly a journey.

I was just using her hair as an example of what I meant by hang time...someone asked me what I meant by "hang time" and I felt she was good example. Even with pretty short hair, she had nice hang time... She has beautiful hair (dont get me wrong) but I am not ashamed of my hair, had I been so ashamed of its texture, I would has slapped a relaxer on it and there would be no reason for this thread.

The reason I asked these questions was simply because I was venting out of fustration, and confusion on how this whole "natural" journey works, because I have never been through it. Now I said that I DONT want an afro because of my work environment. It it not acceptable in my line of work. (more so not inviting) This is just personally for me. I went natural simply because I was tired of relaxers buring my head, my hair falling out, and I was curious to see my actually texture. But I am not going to let the "journey of my hair" and all it glory be the deciding factor between my career and IT.

My texture has some 4A, but very little... most of it is all around curly, so you gotta understand, I have gone over 16yrs. of havin processed hair, and 2 months of being a natural so far...SO ALL of this is new to me....

 

[sonce]

I was just using her hair as an example of what I meant by hang time...someone asked me what I meant by "hang time" and I felt she was good example. Even with pretty short hair, she had nice hang time... She has beautiful hair (dont get me wrong) but I am not ashamed of my hair, had I been so ashamed of its texture, I would has slapped a relaxer on it and there would be no reason for this thread.

This comment of yours:

I didnt really realize it was doing that until my SO mentioned something about "Thats not how your hair is supposed to look, is it?" It kinda hurt my feelings. I can tell he doesnt like it much, and I can't lie, It's kinda messing with my self esteem.

Made me wonder just how proud you really are of your texture. However, as you pointed out, you are new. Besides, what you aim for and how you feel about your hair is your business anyway. I was simply sharing with you my perspective as someone whose hair has weight yet does not hang, so that in case your hair turns out to be like mine, you are not laboring under an unrealistic expectation.

The reason I asked these questions was simply because I was venting out of fustration, and confusion on how this whole "natural" journey works, because I have never been through it. Now I said that I DONT want an afro because of my work environment. It it not acceptable in my line of work. (more so not inviting) This is just personally for me. I went natural simply because I was tired of relaxers buring my head, my hair falling out, and I was curious to see my actually texture. But I am not going to let the "journey of my hair" and all it glory be the deciding factor between my career and IT.

My texture has some 4A, but very little... most of it is all around curly, so you gotta understand, I have gone over 16yrs. of havin processed hair, and 2 months of being a natural so far...SO ALL of this is new to me....

Ok.

 

[BrockStar]

I look at fotki pic of people with hair like mine. Lady Libra and MekyakaKinkerbelle(Her hair is very similar to mine) are ahead of me with growth and have the same type of hair so I figure what happens to theirs may happen similarly to me...until then...in between stage...here I am

 

[glamazon386]

I was just using her hair as an example of what I meant by hang time...someone asked me what I meant by "hang time" and I felt she was good example. Even with pretty short hair, she had nice hang time... She has beautiful hair (dont get me wrong) but I am not ashamed of my hair, had I been so ashamed of its texture, I would has slapped a relaxer on it and there would be no reason for this thread.

The reason I asked these questions was simply because I was venting out of fustration, and confusion on how this whole "natural" journey works, because I have never been through it. Now I said that I DONT want an afro because of my work environment. It it not acceptable in my line of work. (more so not inviting) This is just personally for me. I went natural simply because I was tired of relaxers buring my head, my hair falling out, and I was curious to see my actually texture. But I am not going to let the "journey of my hair" and all it glory be the deciding factor between my career and IT.

My texture has some 4A, but very little... most of it is all around curly, so you gotta understand, I have gone over 16yrs. of havin processed hair, and 2 months of being a natural so far...SO ALL of this is new to me....

Well 4a hair is curly so did you mean you have very little 4b? Also, you say you've only been natural for 2 months. You may not be seeing your true texture yet. From some of your comments I'm sensing the same thing sonce is. Maybe you haven't gotten past the mental transition part yet? Everybody doesn't go natural for the same reasons. And you know what's best for you. You'll get there. All you can really do is wait it out.

 

[Poohbear]

Hey Ladies,

While being natural has SOOO many advantages, the one thing I CANT get with is this "in between" stage. I BC'ed in Dec., and already have a good amount of growth for Jan. but my hair is doing more of this UP and OUT thing.. Like me curls are more springy and more defined as my hair grows, but very few of them have any 'hang time". WHATS THE DEAL!?

I want thick hair (of course), but not that Erykah Badu afro with no hang time!!

I didnt really realize it was doing that until my SO mentioned something about "Thats not how your hair is supposed to look, is it?" It kinda hurt my feelings. I can tell he doesnt like it much, and I can't lie, It's kinda messing with my self esteem.

I thought this was supposed to be an empowering journey, but instead I am finding it to be an "unattractive" one instead.

Has anyone else gone through this? and also can anyone give me some insight as to how long it takes to gain that "hang time" I'm desperately looking for??????

It depends on the length, weight, and texture of your hair. The longer, heavier, and looser your hair is, the more hangtime you will have. And it also depends on what hair style you wear. For example, my hair is armpit length (10-11 inches), light weight, and very very tightly coiled. If I leave my hair in a wash n go and let it airdry like that, there's no hangtime at all... it just shrinks up into a teenie weenie afro. But if I blow it out into a fro with a blowdryer, it has hangtime and hangs down around my face. When my hair was shorter, my stretched out fro would not hang down.

And don't let your significant other make you feel unattractive or make you have low self esteem. Tell him that you are not your hair, and that there's more to you than just your hair. And my advice to you is to be patient as you let your natural hair grow out.

 

[Poohbear]

http://www.public.fotki.com/choconillaprincess/07!!!!/page2.html

(I hope she doesnt mind)

But this is an example of what I mean by hang time. Her hair is out, but not like an afro. I have SOME hair that looks like that while the other part my hair look like this

http://public.fotki.com/PanamasOwn/new-growth/photo01111.html

that with my curl strecthed...think of a slinky, but A REALLY SMALL ONE....thats what my hair is like...

I don't think your natural hair is like choconillaprincess (and that's not a bad thing). And I don't think your hair will ever do that from just a wash n go based on the pictures of your new growth that I saw in your album, and that's okay!!! I think your hair texture is very similar to type 4a/b. My hair is 4a/b and it will never do like choconillaprincess's hair either... even if my hair reaches brastrap length or even waist-length when stretched, I still don't think my hair would ever do that! LOL! So as you grow out your hair, do not compare your hair to anyone elses' hair. You will set yourself up for even more disappointment.

This is another thing you will notice as you continue to view other natural hair albums... Here's an example:
You will see a lady with type 3 hair with only 5 inches of hair. When she does a simple wash n go, it will hang down around her face.
You will see a lady with type 4 hair with only 10 inches of hair. When she does a simple wash n go, it will just shrink up into a TWA with no hang time. The only way this lady with type for hair can have some hang time is if she does a twistout, braidout, or stretched out fro. And sometimes, you still may not get the hangtime and volume you want with those styles, so you just have to accept what your hair does.
And you will notice this with a wide variety of natural hair styles. Like afro puffs... type 3's will have those big voluminous curls while the type 4's will shrink into little tight curls and will not appear as voluminous, it just looks thick and dense. And it's ALL A BEAUTIFUL THING!!!

The thing you have to realize is that type 4 hair cannot do like type 3 hair. Work with what you got.

 

[realitychk]

I think your texture is very similar to mine based on your picture. My hair only really hangs when I wear twist-outs or braid-outs and that is only after being natural for a year and getting some growth. I work in a very corporate environment (an engineering consulting firm so think old white men) and wearing twists has never been a problem for me. Give your hair a little TLC and you will be out of this awkward stage before you know it.

And tell your SO that your hair is supposed to look like that because you are an African American woman.

 

[PanamasOwn]

Well 4a hair is curly so did you mean you have very little 4b? Also, you say you've only been natural for 2 months. You may not be seeing your true texture yet. From some of your comments I'm sensing the same thing sonce is. Maybe you haven't gotten past the mental transition part yet? Everybody doesn't go natural for the same reasons. And you know what's best for you. You'll get there. All you can really do is wait it out.

I guess Im kinda confused...I figured that the texture that was coming out of my head now, would stay that way... I didnt think it would change once it got longer or bigger. I guess I really wont be able to type my hair until it gets a bit longer... I was just going off of Threads that I read in the past...

As far as the mental part... the thing that bothers me the most is my SO. we have been together going on 4 years. Personally I really love my hair, ALOT. Its just the things that HE says sometimes, and most of the time he is just joking, but it kinda hurts. Like I don't care what anyone else outside thinks of my hair, but I mean come on, you want you SO to like your hair right?? I Mean I can't be the only person, whose SO was not absolutely floored when you cut off all your hair to go natural, and he had only seen you before with longer relaxed hair.

 

[PanamasOwn]

I think your texture is very similar to mine based on your picture. My hair only really hangs when I wear twist-outs or braid-outs and that is only after being natural for a year and getting some growth. I work in a very corporate environment (an engineering consulting firm so think old white men) and wearing twists has never been a problem for me. Give your hair a little TLC and you will be out of this awkward stage before you know it.

And tell your SO that your hair is supposed to look like that because you are an African American woman.

Yeah...I workfor an energy company doing public relations, so they want sleek and sophisticated. There was another black lady working in that group and she advised me, never to wear my hair "afro-centric" like... those "old-farts" (old white dudes) cant look past it..Stick to contempary and chic styles (curly hair, flat hair, buns, etc..)

 

[realitychk]

guess Im kinda confused...I figured that the texture that was coming out of my head now, would stay that way... I didnt think it would change once it got longer or bigger. I guess I really wont be able to type my hair until it gets a bit longer... I was just going off of Threads that I read in the past...

As far as the mental part... the thing that bothers me the most is my SO. we have been together going on 4 years. Personally I really love my hair, ALOT. Its just the things that HE says sometimes, and most of the time he is just joking, but it kinda hurts. Like I don't care what anyone else outside thinks of my hair, but I mean come on, you want you SO to like your hair right?? I Mean I can't be the only person, whose SO was not absolutely floored when you cut off all your hair to go natural, and he had only seen you before with longer relaxed hair.

My hair has changed texture as it has grown. My coils clump together a lot more and have become more defined. My husband hated it when I first cut my hair. I only transitioned for like 3 months so it was really short. Now he is love with it can't keep his hands out of it. Now the only thing he hates is all the male attention I get with my natural hair.

 

[glamazon386]

I guess Im kinda confused...I figured that the texture that was coming out of my head now, would stay that way... I didnt think it would change once it got longer or bigger. I guess I really wont be able to type my hair until it gets a bit longer... I was just going off of Threads that I read in the past...

As far as the mental part... the thing that bothers me the most is my SO. we have been together going on 4 years. Personally I really love my hair, ALOT. Its just the things that HE says sometimes, and most of the time he is just joking, but it kinda hurts. Like I don't care what anyone else outside thinks of my hair, but I mean come on, you want you SO to like your hair right?? I Mean I can't be the only person, whose SO was not absolutely floored when you cut off all your hair to go natural, and he had only seen you before with longer relaxed hair.

I understand what you're saying but you had to get used to your new hair right? So he has to too. And you need to tell him how you feel about it. Tell him it hurts when he makes those comments and jokes. He may not even realize it. I know it's not easy. Nobody said it was going to be. But you can't base your self esteem off of what he thinks either. What about what you think? He may not like it, but he'll get over it. If he loves you, he needs to learn to accept it and understand why you chose to do it. Just like if he made a change you didnt like but he did. Wouldn't you try to accept it if if made him happy?

 

[glamazon386]

My hair has changed texture as it has grown. My coils clump together a lot more and have become more defined. My husband hated it when I first cut my hair. I only transitioned for like 3 months so it was really short. Now he is love with it can't keep his hands out of it. Now the only thing he hates is all the male attention I get with my natural hair.

Mine did too. And it was dry the first few months. I think it was scab hair. It looks totally different now.

And to the OP - You'd be surprised as far as the work environment goes. Now I'm not saying go to work with a big ass afro (because I don't think that's appropriate for a corporate setting either) but I've found that the white people don't really have a problem with our hair as long as it's neat. Believe it or not I got the most compliments from the white people. For corporate america the rule is pretty much no extreme hairstyles. Or no extreme anything. And that goes for everybody.

It's usually the black people that have the problem with natural hair. How do you know that other Black woman wasn't just saying that because it was what she thought? Did one of the white men tell her that? Did she have natural hair? Did anybody else ever work there with natural hair? Did they say that to that person or act like that?