Naturals On The Verge of Giving Up, PLEASE READ!

ScandalousBeauty

ScandalousBeauty

New Member
Hey everyone,

I just wanted to share a few things that I have noticed. A month or so ago, I created a thread here called "Naturals, I'm Pissed! Why the F is My Hair Not Growing?!?!". I was so angry!!! Then, I went to YouTube and REALLY vented! This video was titled "My Natural Hair Is Pissing Me Off...Relaxer Anyone???" I basically said the same things as the thread, but just to sum it up, I commented on the fact that my hair stays dry, it has no style, it doesn't grow, blah blah. The comments came POURING in.

Later that night, I did an Update on My Natural Hair. By that time, I had cooled down, but to add insult to injury, a man basically called me a "nappy headed hoe" at work, THE VERY SAME DAY.

Anywho, over the course of the time, I learned a few more techniques, worked hard to Keep it simple, and stop manipulating my hair so much! This has helped so very, very much. Right now, I am working on switching my regimen, which just wasn't working. DON'T GIVE UP!!! I have finally noticed that I am retaining length and my hair isn't breaking as much. If you need a partner to keep you going, please don't hesitate to contact me!!! It's gotten so serious that I created another account (Youtube.com/naturallyscandalous) just as a video journal of my natural hair progress.

Again, DON'T GIVE UP!!! Feel free to PM me if you need to chat or vent!! :yep:
 
So when is that joka at your job with the smart mouth getting his new Dentures? :wallbash: :hammer: :boxing:


Thanks for posting, it does take time and finding what works for your hair... I love finding new things that give my hair moisture. During the holidays I plan to learn how to safely use heat for straightening without damaging my curls.
 
Were you hearing my cry...

I'm sooo through with my 4zzzzzzz hair.. no matter what I do its not growing.. I'm was starting to believe want some ppl say about 4b hair..



But thanks for the post,, you came just in time cause I was about to vent on here....
 
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I want moisture, moisture, and some more moisture. I think this TEXAS heat is sucking the life out of my hair!
 
A beautiful post of perseverance! :yep:

hope the fool got fired! how could that foolishness be tolerated in a workplace wtf?
 
Giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrl. I am there. I've not had a perm in 9 years and just stopped wearing braids in March and decided to wear my hair natural. Girl I have been through some trial and error letta me tell you. My trail and error period was from March - June. Trail and error meaning I washed my hair every week with shampoo, combed my hair when it was dry, etc. I think that I am now starting to get it now that it is july. i co wash now and this week I have been wearing my hair wrapped up under my wrap are two strand flat twist. i have learned a lot from this site. Now at night I sleep with a plastic curl cap after I oil my hair with the essential oils from the health food store. My diet was sooooooo lacking protein and thats a major reason why my hair was not acting right. I cannot wait to wash my hair tomorrow to see how it has done after a week of me not messing with it. I have always suffered from hand in hair disease. I swear earlier this month I was that close to getting me some type of chemicals in my hair because I could not do anything with it. Girl I cannot even wear a pony puff. I live in headbands. Are you still on the verge of giving up?
 
Some people can say the most hurtful and rude things. Do not let him bother you with his stupid and ignorant comments.
 
:woot:

I'm so glad that you are discovering what works for you!

I really do believe that our hair should not be difficult, and that if it is, it's because we are missing something/mishandling it, and not because our hair is inherently 'hard to manage' - but that's a different thread!

Can you share some of the changes that you've made that you think have made the biggest difference?
 
I'm nowhere near the verge of giving up. My hair has never been easier to care for, but I also let it do what it does the majority of the time.

I just wanted to say hang in there and I'm glad your hair is showing improvement.
 
I'm so glad you posted this. I'm going through a rough period with my transitioning hair right now and it's been worrying me the last few days. This post just gave me the boost I needed to keep trying.:yep:
 
I am right here with you sweetie. I have been on a quest for simplicity and finding staple products. Just last week, I got another haircut due to dry,crunchy ends my hair still feels coarse/rough. I did try lecithin and think that it is still on my tresses. I have clarified/chelated,deep conditioned and still have the same waxy/coating feeling. Let me know if you want to be support buddies or anything b/c I am relating to you on so many levels right now.
 
Thanks for starting this thread. I did not want to give up because I do like my natural hair. However, I am getting discouraged because of comments from FAMILY, lack of hairstyle experience, not feeling cute (some ladies look so at home and cute with natural hair), and this sudden extreme dryness that came out of nowhere. What is helping me is seeing that it is growing really fast and visioning what my hair will look lie this time next year.
I think a lot of it is my diet. When I am drinking enough water and eating low-carb my hair is soft but this week I fell off and it is dry and crispy.
I feel like I need some kind of natural hair (help me make the most of what GOD gave me) book. I have all of the tools: denman, Kcutter, shea butter, aloe vera gel, oils, leave-ins, moisturizers, conditioners, shampoo once a month, all the things that are suggested for naturals. However, I am going broke finding out the best products for my hair. I do not know my exact hair type. I think it is a 4a because it is eally curly, lots of individual coils throughout my hair. It is also reaaalllllllllllyyyyy thick. How long will it take to get all of this under control?
 
"Nappy Headed Hoe"???? dem is fighting words. Glad you posted encouraging words. I have been through the fire myself.

Thanks.
 
Y'all....that dude had me livid. I didn't speak to him for days. *******. I didn't tell anyone he said it b/c he's rude overall, and a comment like this was to be expected from him.

Kiya, there are a few things that I have changed:

1. I don't co-wash every day anymore, maybe every 4 or 5 days. I noticed that after using glycerin/water spray on my hair for two or more days in a row, without washing, my hair was softer then ever. I had to ask myself, why am I co-washing on a daily basis, only because it works for everyone else??

2. I started plopping. Before, I would kind of just throw products in my hair freely. Now, I make sure to really get them in the hair, and not to mess with my ends to much.

3. Speaking of ends, I try not to touch my hair too much at all. I used to stick my hands in it all the time, "finger detangling" it and not even realizing it. The less I play in it, the less random pieces of hair have ended up on the floor.

4.I stopped using solely Mizani, Keracare, Redken, etc. I needed more simple products, so I started using more Oyin, and other natural-ish products. They say KISS, and that's what I am trying!!!
 
LilChocolateMa said:
Y'all....that dude had me livid. I didn't speak to him for days. *******. I didn't tell anyone he said it b/c he's rude overall, and a comment like this was to be expected from him.

Kiya, there are a few things that I have changed:

1. I don't co-wash every day anymore, maybe every 4 or 5 days. I noticed that after using glycerin/water spray on my hair for two or more days in a row, without washing, my hair was softer then ever. I had to ask myself, why am I co-washing on a daily basis, only because it works for everyone else??

2. I started plopping. Before, I would kind of just throw products in my hair freely. Now, I make sure to really get them in the hair, and not to mess with my ends to much.

3. Speaking of ends, I try not to touch my hair too much at all. I used to stick my hands in it all the time, "finger detangling" it and not even realizing it. The less I play in it, the less random pieces of hair have ended up on the floor.

4.I stopped using solely Mizani, Keracare, Redken, etc. I needed more simple products, so I started using more Oyin, and other natural-ish products. They say KISS, and that's what I am trying!!!
Click to expand...

cw'ing too often would have killed my hair, i never even tried that ish cause I KNEW ALREADY

It must be hard on the newly naturals knowing what to do for 'their' hair with all this massive info now

it takes time sometimes to get to know 'YOUR' hair
 
OH Yeah!!! Kiya, I also forgot to mention that I started watching other Natural girls on Youtube, watching them do their post-washing regimen and seeing how it differs with mine. Makes a huge difference seeing how people detangle, wash, condition, moisturize, oil and everything else!!! Lady KayPNYC is one of my all time favorites!

LadyKaypnyc said:
WORD!! That fool needs to seriously be :censored: up!
Click to expand...
 
LilChocolateMa said:
Kiya, there are a few things that I have changed:

1. I don't co-wash every day anymore, maybe every 4 or 5 days. I noticed that after using glycerin/water spray on my hair for two or more days in a row, without washing, my hair was softer then ever. I had to ask myself, why am I co-washing on a daily basis, only because it works for everyone else??

2. I started plopping. Before, I would kind of just throw products in my hair freely. Now, I make sure to really get them in the hair, and not to mess with my ends to much.

3. Speaking of ends, I try not to touch my hair too much at all. I used to stick my hands in it all the time, "finger detangling" it and not even realizing it. The less I play in it, the less random pieces of hair have ended up on the floor.

4.I stopped using solely Mizani, Keracare, Redken, etc. I needed more simple products, so I started using more Oyin, and other natural-ish products. They say KISS, and that's what I am trying!!!
Click to expand...

LilChocolateMa said:
OH Yeah!!! Kiya, I also forgot to mention that I started watching other Natural girls on Youtube, watching them do their post-washing regimen and seeing how it differs with mine. Makes a huge difference seeing how people detangle, wash, condition, moisturize, oil and everything else!!! Lady KayPNYC is one of my all time favorites!
Click to expand...

:yep: Thank you for sharing!!!! Those are all useful things - it's good to see how people 'discover' what's 'right' for their hair, despite what is 'supposed' to be right, ya know?
 
Irresistible said:
cw'ing too often would have killed my hair, i never even tried that ish cause I KNEW ALREADY

It must be hard on the newly naturals knowing what to do for 'their' hair with all this massive info now

it takes time sometimes to get to know 'YOUR' hair
Click to expand...

Amen! This is so true. Co-washing does not work for me. Leaving my hair alone does.
 
LilChocolateMa said:
OH Yeah!!! Kiya, I also forgot to mention that I started watching other Natural girls on Youtube, watching them do their post-washing regimen and seeing how it differs with mine. Makes a huge difference seeing how people detangle, wash, condition, moisturize, oil and everything else!!! Lady KayPNYC is one of my all time favorites!
Click to expand...

you know thats why I did my whole 'making an a$$' out of myself while I comb through this ish videos, just because someone could be missing out on the 'littlest' thing that could make a world of difference
 
Exactly!!!!!!! Ever since I made those small changes, I could see a change in the length of my hair when I slightly pulled it. It's the best feeling ever. Shiiiiiit, I'm trying to get my hair to look like YOURS!!!

Irresistible said:
you know thats why I did my whole 'making an a$$' out of myself while I comb through this ish videos, just because someone could be missing out on the 'littlest' thing that could make a world of difference
Click to expand...
 
LilChocolateMa said:
Exactly!!!!!!! Ever since I made those small changes, I could see a change in the length of my hair when I slightly pulled it. It's the best feeling ever. Shiiiiiit, I'm trying to get my hair to look like YOURS!!!
Click to expand...

girl it took me time and some set backs too, your hair will be the very best it can be just by learning all the things it loves , not doing all the raves. Ive been 15 years natural and did some really dumb things, when I first went natural I mixed some water with conditioner (the conditioner was that 'dulling' mane and tail) and sprayed my hair with it constantly and wondered why my hair looked so tore up :look: I had to spray it constantly just for it to look decent. thats just one dumb thing out of many :grin:

and at times it will seem like your hair is not doing anything, and thats when you do just like you did, make some 'even' minor changes. its a really fine line between keeping it simple and trying to find the new things that are going to work or just be another failed bandwagon! This hair care journey is really trial and error , a mix of keeping it simple and safe and venturing to try new things and I think the most important thing is when trying something new, listen to your hair , no matter what worked for someone else. and thats what you did and as long as you keep doing that , long long term, girl you will be amazed at what your hair will do! :yep:
 
Yay, I'm glad you found something that works for you and are willing to support others. I like the sound of that.
 
ITA, you have to listen to your hair, and take what others are doing with a grain of salt. Don't try too many new things at once.

I'm just settling in on conditioners that my hair loves...which are Aubrey Organics GPB & White Camellia Conditioners, my leave in is ABBA Moisture, or Elucence Moisture, or Eden Peppermint Tea Tree Hair Milk.

My twists love shea and avocado butter to keep them moist after my post-workout-rinses. I twist it up on Sunday and leave it alone until I was the following Sunday. I use a stocking cap to rinse my twists after working out to keep them neat. I use a color applicator bottle with a pointy tip to apply my growth aids directly to my scalp without disturbing my twists. I'll keep up this twisting routine until I can make a ponytail. I know that personally I would have a lot of breakage if I tried the wash and go thing right now. I prefer twist outs and braid outs. Wash 'n Go's are not for every head.

ETA: Avalon Organics Awapuhi Mango Moisturizing Conditioner = excellent moisture
 
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LMC, may I ask you suggestion on something. I workout 5-6, sometimes 7, days a week anywhere from 1 to 2/3 hours and I sweat in my head. I have been thinking about just water rinsing my hair and applying my moisturizer mixture and sealing but wondered if the salt would dry my hair out even more.
 
Whenever you need encouragment just look at some pics of naturals!!! I do this everytime I get discouraged. I go to some fotkis, youtube, etc and then I start to feel inspired again.
 
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