Natural hair doesn't suit me.

Krystle~Hime

Krystle~Hime

Well-Known Member
Hey Y'all.. everything is in the title:ohwell

"out" styles don't suit me.(twist out braids out, wash n go..)
"up" styles don't suit me. (roll tuck n pin, bun etc.. afro puff is okay but I don't want to wear it 24/7
low manipulation style is an horror : 2 strands twists I look like a boy.. etc etc..
picked out afro style also doesn't suit me. It's fun, but only when I look at the mirror.

I want to shave my hair. but bald hair also doesn't suit me v_v (i've tried when I was younger)
I don't want to relax my hair.. but I thought I was confident, but it was becaus I throw away my lace wig and I was ME. but now i'm with this on my hair, natural hair is beautiful, but it's ugly on me.
 
1. How long is your hair and how long have you been natural?
2. What do you want? Are you looking to wear your hair straight? If so, you could heat-train.
3. If you like wigs, just wear them. Keep your hair natural underneath.
 
you didn't mention length.

would length change how you feel?

length, softness and strength altogether are achievable and what if you fall in love with your results?

in the meantime:
- buy a pair of beautiful earrings and many hair pins
- try a cute braided updo
- some cute make up
- a nice dress
and feel beautiful! I hope it works!

love and time could bring you where you wanted to get. I like myself with long hair. I didn't like myself with short natural, no matter what style. Some, actually many women are beautiful with short hairstyles but I didn't have that confidence or simply did not feel it was a look that suited me.
 
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Awwww =( I'm so sorry to hear but I can kind of relate too =/ I have a big forehead so like... nothing suits me, short hair, hair pulled back (unless I have a bang going on and huge/long earrings), afro puffs, afro's etc, just doesn't suit me AT ALL. Neither does twist and braid outs but I think it's really because of the length my hair is at.

So I want to grow my hair longer than this and hopefully it'll suit me then.

Do you think your length is a problem? There are also other ways of switching up your hair style while still being natural. You can do weaves, yarn braids, poetic justice type braids etc. Don't give up! Hang in there, find out what you really want and what you'll be happy with and make that decision.

Also try adding accessories if you haven't already, see how that will compliment the hair style and see if it will then suit you. I find that wearing certain accessories helps me and my style a little. Your afro puff looks great btw ^^
 
it's not a feel, it's the LOOK.
I didn't say "I don't like my hair", but "it doesn't suit me".... that's my bad :s :s :s :s
 
I felt the same way about being natural. All those curls and body I think was too much for my beanie/narrow little head. In the past I would wear 4b/c textured wigs and weaves and they didn't look right and I just assumed it was because it was faux hair. But no, I think it's just that tight curls and body don't suite my face. I don't want to have to rely on headbands and ponytails all the time, as they cause breakage for me.
 
If you don't like natural hair there are tons of other options. Weaves, wigs, relaxers or BKT, heat training, texturizing, silkeners, etc.

No need to have natural hair if you don't like it.
 
Solitude said:
1. How long is your hair and how long have you been natural?
2. What do you want? Are you looking to wear your hair straight? If so, you could heat-train.
3. If you like wigs, just wear them. Keep your hair natural underneath.
Click to expand...

yeah wigs can be fine.. I used to wear vanessa la jay, besides it's impossible during winter with all this heat.
so I think wearing extensions may.. be the key? Im a lil sad because I've starting growing out my hair, and I reallized it's a lil for nothing now i've noticed it doens't suit me ! :(

natural2008 said:
Flat twist up in a stlye is very becoming. Have you tried that?
Click to expand...
yeah i've also tried lol.
 
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Solitude said:
Krystle~Hime

So, are you looking for advice or just venting?
Click to expand...

Okay..................... nice. tell me if it was better to not open a new thread, and to put it on the "random hair thoughts" thread?
I wanted to share this, knowing if I wasn't in the same case or not, and looking for advice. but I didn't want this kind of reaction.
 
Krystle~Hime said:
Hey Y'all.. everything is in the title:ohwell

"out" styles don't suit me.(twist out braids out, wash n go..)
"up" styles don't suit me. (roll tuck n pin, bun etc.. afro puff is okay but I don't want to wear it 24/7
low manipulation style is an horror : 2 strands twists I look like a boy.. etc etc..
picked out afro style also doesn't suit me. It's fun, but only when I look at the mirror.

I want to shave my hair. but bald hair also doesn't suit me v_v (i've tried when I was younger)
I don't want to relax my hair.. but I thought I was confident, but it was becaus I throw away my lace wig and I was ME. but now i'm with this on my hair, natural hair is beautiful, but it's ugly on me.
Click to expand...

I feel you, I'm the same way but lately I've been experimenting with diff hairstyles and that has helped. Some days my hair looks cute but is not flattering to my face and it makes me feel odd. Just experiment and I'm sure you'll find your go to hairstyles. Good luck
 
If natural hair doesn't suit you then go back/find a style that does. If you felt more comfortable with straight hair and it fit your features better then get a relaxer or heat train. Don't stay natural if you dont like it..Thankfully there are other options.
 
As a natural I'm going to say this: natural hair is not every1 real talk. Some women just look or feel more confident w/ straight hair which is fine. Some prefer wearing braids, weaves or wigs. Maybe you will feel better if you straighten out your hair, idk. I had a conversation w/ my sister who is transitioning and she said that she doesn't like the look of twist or braid outs b/c it looks too afrocentric (we are African so idk what is really trying to say) and will end up heat training her hair. It's all about preference. Do what makes you feel confident.
 
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Some of those styles you mentioned don't look that great on me either, so I know what you mean about a certain style not suiting you. So I would definitely suggest braids, weaves, wigs, or just flat iron.
 
Krystle~Hime said:
Okay..................... nice. tell me if it was better to not open a new thread, and to put it on the "random hair thoughts" thread?
I wanted to share this, knowing if I wasn't in the same case or not, and looking for advice. but I didn't want this kind of reaction.
Click to expand...

Sorry, if my question seemed harsh or rude. I was just trying to clarify because I wasn't sure exactly what you were asking. A lot of members have had success using weaves and wigs as protective styling until their natural hair grew out to a length they were happy with.

I'm relaxed, but I think you should definitely try some other alternatives before relaxing because it would be such a pain to start all over with transitioning. Heat training or extensions can give you a different look and give you a rest from your natural hair without doing anything permanent (well heat training can be permanent). Good luck & if you ever relax, there is lots of support on the board for that, too. Keep us updated on your progress.

BTW, you can flat iron occasionally without heat training as well.

You may have already seen these threads, but I bumped them in case you want to take a look-

Heat Training Support Thread: http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=522931&highlight=heat+training

Deep Moisture Method (wigs): http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=497088&highlight=wig+and+all
 
I can definitely relate after having been natural, then relaxing again. I think all of the advice given here is great and supportive. My suggestion: Is your hair shaped? A good shaping to compliment your face can do wonders! I'd look at Tumblr, youtube, and just google styles to see what you like and consult with a few stylists to see if it's possible. I'm all about hair health and styling. You'd be surprised how different you'd look and feel with a look that compliments your style.
 
i, personally, think everyone looks good natural, you just have to find a style that works for you.

however, you don't have to be natural. there are soooo many other options.
 
Why don't you switch up your style a little to give yourself more variety? Flat ironing once in a while may help without having to do something permanent.

Do you use hair accessories? Flowers, clips, barrettes, silk scarves, etc can make a world of difference.
 
Curlykale said:
I don't understand the difference between the way you look and how you feel, aren't they related?
Click to expand...
Curlykale

my feelings : i LOVE NATURAL HAIR i don't want straight or relaxed hair, I don't have any issues with detangling etc etc. I love it !!

my look : it's ugly on ME. :nono: when I look at the mirror it's not pretty. even if my hair is shiny, soft. It doesn't suit my face.

That's what I wanted to point on !
 
ms.blue said:
As a natural I'm going to say this: natural hair is not every1 real talk. Some women just look or feel more confident w/ straight hair which is fine. Some prefer wearing braids, weaves or wigs. Maybe you will feel better if you straighten out your hair, idk. I had a convosation w/ my sister who is transitioning and she said that she doesn't like the look of twist or braid outs b/c it looks too afrocentric (we are African so idk what is really trying to say) and will end up heat training her hair. It's all about preference. Do what makes you feel confident.
Click to expand...

mEmYSELFaNDj said:
Some of those styles you mentioned don't look that great on me either, so I know what you mean about a certain style not suiting you. So I would definitely suggest braids, weaves, wigs, or just flat iron.
Click to expand...

I'm confident when I wear headwraps or when I have kinky twists.. but this will means that I will always have to hide my hair for feel confident :s :s :s is it okay ? hiding my hair for the rest of my lil life lol !

Solitude thanks for clarifying it :) I do lady paniolo routine during winter because I like to wear a wig during this season.
 
Your Cheeziness said:
I can definitely relate after having been natural, then relaxing again. I think all of the advice given here is great and supportive. My suggestion: Is your hair shaped? A good shaping to compliment your face can do wonders! I'd look at Tumblr, youtube, and just google styles to see what you like and consult with a few stylists to see if it's possible. I'm all about hair health and styling. You'd be surprised how different you'd look and feel with a look that compliments your style.
Click to expand...

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmh... I think that's it..

lemme find a picture, I think it will explain eeeverything.
 
Krystle~Hime , truly I understand where you're coming from. I'm not sure if you remember the texturizer thread I made a few weeks back but I was running into the same issues you're having right now. Along with the ssk's, knots and long wash days I had, most of the natural styles I tried just did not suit me at all.

I tended to look very "off" for lack of a better word so even though I love my natural hair, it was too high maintenance for me (long wash days, way too much delicate handling:look:) and added to the fact that I couldn't really wear my hair out (other than in a pony) because most natural styles did not suit me led me to texturize.

I'm so glad I did. Do what works for you. At the end of the day, what is the point in you growing your hair if you can't enjoy it? Makes no sense IMO :)
 
Krystle~Hime said:
@Curlykale

my feelings : i LOVE NATURAL HAIR i don't want straight or relaxed hair, I don't have any issues with detangling etc etc. I love it !!

my look : it's ugly on ME. :nono: when I look at the mirror it's not pretty. even if my hair is shiny, soft. It doesn't suit my face.

That's what I wanted to point on !
Click to expand...

thanks for clarifying, now I understand! Then you definitely have 2 things that can change your mind: styling and length. I would try to think of what suits my face in terms of shape (long, short, voluminous or not, to the side or not, up or down, braids or locs or not, parted or not) and color and work my way up from there. A hairstyle that seems impossible or one that you didn't know/ or that requires new tools or kinds of products (i.e. flexirods, perm rods, gel vs butter...) could suddenly suit your face. I would forget about my hair for a minute and in that minute ask myself: what suits me best?
Maybe looking for people who look "a bit like you" on youtube or online can give you some ideas, I must say I keep finding things I hadn't thought about 3 years after the start of my hair journey. I hope it helps!

(Also: sometimes a hairstyle doesn't suit you at a certain length and then it magically does once your hair is longer, especially in those awkward stages where it doesn't "fall right", this is my experience at least. Other things that affect how your hair or hairtsyle "falls" are the right or wrong haircut, and being texturized or not since I was texturized for 14 years and the same curly hairstyles looked different)
 
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What about braiding it until you get some length? Your avi pic looks pretty so it could be more in your head than in reality.
 
hone in on your aesthetic/style and your face shape and best features. adapt your natural hair to those things. i get what you're saying and I know there's a style out there for you. might want to check out some tumblr's and youtubes (naptural85) for inspiration
 
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